Chronicle of the Chekists is pure bullshit.

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   +------------+---------+ ---------------+----------+      
   |   Chronicle of the Chekists  + + Author: Chapai and LDIR +--+   
   +---------+-----------+-------- +---------------------+ |   
       |            +-------------------------+ |   
 +-----------+------------------------+ --------+-----+ +--+--+
 |Ministry of Punk Education + + 2002 |   | M P |
 +--------------------------------- +---------+ +-----+
 Prologue.                                
 Well, somehow Chapai and I...                                     
 First story (introductory).                      
 First, let's get acquainted (hic!). This "software product"
 was conceived by two enthusiasts who had no idea about
 ASSEMBLER. With these guyswe were and are: someone hiding from
 justice, under the rotten cliqueLDIR,and local authority, dis-
 toman, alcoholic, parasite, etc. (underline as appropriate), I call him
 yourself as no other thanChapayVasily Uvanovich (just an emergency, but simply
 BUTEK SPUDONOV).Later in the group...oh! recruitment group
 recedevistsPauEl Cousteau (Panteleev Pasha), Staroletov Ki-
 rill (count D'Staroletoff, also SATAN).                        
 Having gathered in an apartment where Chapaya did not work, he prophesied
 nerd and later carried out a terrorist attack using the code
 name "LAST 128".                                           
 -What's everything? (the investigator smokes nervously).                           
 - Absolutely (the sergeant closed the folder), yes.                             
 The investigator released a huge, shaggy ring of smoke.            
 -So, where is our dossier? - The investigator brushed it off the table.    
 necessary papers for the case "GUIDE-1,2,3"                            
 Second story. (from the personal file of the Chekists)           
preface In the beginning there was a word.U was the word "SPECTRUM"...    
 Blasphemers. (What about blasphemers?) 
U came from the sky Clive Sinclair.U was created by "SPECCY". A coders
 they said: “You are our God, you are the Mission.” U everyone who believed, called -
 with "spektrumistami".U was heaven on Earth.                         
 * * *                            
 A couple of “believing” Chekists met in a “concentration camp”
 "SOLAR".LDIR then naively believed that "BASIC" was the best
 the best language in the computer world, and Chapai doesn’t mean anything at all...
 gal. Being in a drunken state, Chapai acquired an unregistered
 bathroom"PENTAGON 128". Having learned, not without help, LDIR'A, the rules
 getting used to the computer, and buying a new one (the old one could not be repaired!),
 unemployed Spiridonov, being in a sober (!) state, committed
 deliberate crime in the form of obscene pictures.              
  Anticipating the approach of the New Year, sec(s)tant LDIR, not having
 licenses, produced a software product in his apartment,
 our anti-people slogans.                                      
  Somewhat laterit was decided to create our own “company”,
 which led to the emergence of the strange organization “Slava and Chekist”.
 Being drunk again, the Chekists wrote several
 shameful programs on BASIC (oh how!), no less shamefully named.
  In order to increase authority, LDIR took on both hands and one foot
 for studyingAssembler.                                       
 A Chapai continued to be drunk...         
 the witness of the events naively wished     
                               remain unknown.            
 The investigator threw the dossier on the table and took a drag from half a cigarette. "Ku-
 “We should eat less,” the thought flashed and then disappeared. Cabinet
 was half hidden by thick smoke. They ran in the corridor, clanking
 opera boots. “Eternal diarrhea,” he smiled and thought:
 tel. He didn’t like the night shift, and this rain outside the window... 
  The coffee has long since cooled down. “To hell,” the investigator approached the safe. 
 Somewhere there, among the papers there should be a bottle...                  
 Third story. (progressive)               
 if the programmer is already at work in the morning,      
                                   That means he's STILL at work...   
(bearded joke)   
 The beginning is always difficult. So, "newspaper business" 
 the chalu did not advance. Unexpectedsobering up.
 This has delayed progress.                                         
 When did LDIR, unexpectedly, after 2 liters of beer take it and how
 started SCROLL UP and went crazy about it, the thought arose again
 project "LAST". Now as an entertainment newspaper. On the obvious
 During a rare drinking session at Chapai’s, LDIR gave an ultimatum: no articles -
 there is no newspaper either. The first part of the ultimatum, for some reason no one agreed
 I kept it, but no one approved the second one either.                   
Texts began to appear from somewhere. "Huge creative potential-
 cial", which was fully possessed by enthusiastic parasites, manifested itself
 in the first article "SUUCUD". Immediately a huge variety of
 Zie drunken ideas (after all, as they say, you can’t do without half a liter),
 many of which LDIR liked. Next was VERY interesting -
 but, but I WILL NOT tell you everything, because... Alreadyfucked up...          
 The task force quickly jumped onto the platform, but it was already
 It's too late.And from the departing train a hand appeared with a strange sign:      
 middle finger raised...                                
 was talking nonsense: CHAPAI                
                          PEREWODIL into local dialect:LD!R