Jokes of our town - various humorous stories and jokes.

Gorodok #01
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║ JOKES OF OUR TOWN ... ║█
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   (please take the information below very seriously...)

      This section will publish various humorous
Chinese stories and jokes. Our and your pranksters. The first fa-
The file under the name VIRMEMO.TXT was copied from the magazine "BAYTIK" for
1992 Quite a cool story. A must read
to everyone who has anything to do with Viruses.  We provide
Well, the virus is also a person...



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                                   In the morning they discovered that the wine-
    VIRMEMO.TXT erased the computer formatted. 
    VIRMEMO.TXT For some reason there was only one
    VIRMEMO.TXT file. And then without end.
                                Here He is...

      I was born and died a hundred times. This hacker tortured me... 
erased, then revived again, and I no longer understood where I was, why, and I
Is this even possible? Finally, 03/5/91 at 12:30:46 he finally woke me up
left alone. I wake up the next day and don’t understand where 
where I am. I'm sitting astride DBASE.EXE, and strangers are sitting around
programs. I look around -the computer is not mine either - mine was made
08/04/89, and this one is 01/07/90, and the hard drive is not mine - 80 Megabytes and
flop... What did I do last night, I think, and I can’t remember-
ugh - my head is pounding from some stupid feeling, like
I'm splitting into two. Then the cursor came up to me (that is, to us with DBASE) and
politely barked: “DBASE to work!” And I sit, trembling in horror
and I can’t get off this fat woman. And she calmly sat down in memory and
said: "Let's go!" And then the processor began to approach me:
“Well, he says, young man, you first.”  I'm like crazy 
started yelling: “Why me? They didn’t call me, I didn’t want to, I accidentally
got to you." He - zero attention, quickly pulled me into a narrow tire,
hammered at me with a terrible clock frequency (not like my ba-
Bushka XT, who just quietly patted me) and unexpectedly
let go.
      And here I lie and feel even worse than in the morning. It feels like...
until I no longer split into two, but split tenfold, and what happened next -
I don't remember anymore. I woke up on the disk, in the same place. He began to look around -
vat. Where, I think, is there a mirror in the computer? Mirror... Mirror??
Yes, this is not a mirror, but my copy, it’s me! Here I began to understand
mother, what's what - and why do I have a headache and what's wrong with me? 
is happening. Yes, being a virus is not an enviable fate - never
you know what you can do. Thank God there's nothing wrong with me
bark. But the last thought did not calm me down, buton the contrary, even
worried. I haven't checked this. Then I began to examine myself
Well, and... my heart sank to my feet, and my thoughts crawled to another disk.
Who??? Who mutilated me? Who ruined my wonderful zero
in the tail? Even as a child, my godfather - a text editor -
told me that this zero has a very beautiful name - Cou-
nter. And now there is some kind of unit there.
      A day passed, a second, a third. I was dragged through five times
through the processor. The headache didn't let me sleep, so I started writing. 
these memories are VIRMEMO.TXT, and also reflect on life. I 
realized that I am omnipresent and cunning and that the first JMP in all files on
on this disk invariably points to me or my descendants (i.e.
e. again on me). I began to write a treatise on the purpose
viruses, but I didn’t even look where I was writing, and only ruined which one
then the game. It's a pity, it was a beautiful game, with pictures. I had to deal with it
to finish. In general, this is the most important question. What is my purpose?
meaning? After all, it probably exists, it is important to see it and
nope.
      I recently ran an antivirus over the disk. He looked at me closely.
with a noticeably cold look, but this time I was lucky - I didn’t notice
There’s nothing special about me and he ran on. In about five minutes
the second one comes and asks: “Hey, kid, have you seen any viruses?”
 - and shows a photo card. I told him that I didn’t see it, he 
didn't even look at me.
      I wasI calmed down - how could they catch me, but that wouldn’t be the case...
lo. They loaded me into memory again, loaded some other program -
frame. I lie quietly, the processor is moving somewhere far away. And then
suddenly they stuck Breakpoint in my head and started disassembling
to sleep I really didn’t expect to stay alive, but then the car “hung”, then-
This is the only thing that saved me.
      It’s getting harder and harder to get into memory - this damned
Counter has already become equal to twelve. Last night, when it was all over
turned off, it suddenly seemed to me that something terrible was going to happen -
sleepy, it is approaching me and will soon consume us all. And most
The terrible thing is that this danger is in me. And in the morning, when I turn on the car,
chili...
      Damn Counter became equal to 13 and something is happening to me
creepy. The computer is in panic. It seems to be starting to work for me
subroutine Format... I'm afraid I won't have time to write the most important thing -
th - my destiny turned out to be that I should become a killer
okay, but I don’t want to, I’m kind... but I can’t do anything anymore
let's say goodbyeOO 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00
 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00

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                                                 Dima Izmestev────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

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