Poetry from Leningrad State Medical University - Syphiliad: A historian’s story.

                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           SIPHILIADE               
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           A historian's story.            
                                        
   When for the benefit of a person with a simple
with the help of sails, At the end of the 15th century, Columbus
America was discovered when the Spanish sailors
stupefied by the impressions, they tugged inquisitively
for the braids of the simple-minded Indian maidens, Bo-
a disease that has not yet been dealt with in the Old World
were aware of the troubles, Already kept in mind
experienced sailors.  She is successful
penetrated their unusual bodies, but this
was only the beginning of all-human evil.
Then to the Spanish borders with a simple
with the power of the sails, the caravels returned quietly,
and with them syphilis came...             
   Middle Ages: prejudices, brains
lazy melancholy, Jesuits, prostitutes, sop-
giving birth to troops... Year one thousand
five hundredth - intrigues, wars, carousing, monks,
counts, Huguenots,princes, lovers, pa-
life... The disease went on a victorious march, C
secret deceit on the brow, Through all the authorities
royal deeds, Across all powers on
earth.  In the era of the Third Ivan, she pro-
Nikla to our Rus', And this sadness is so
plan, which I can’t even undertake to measure. And time
went on... Morals, styles, names changed,
hairstyles, food, fun, pants, fashion
ry, orders... Many generations have changed,
but the vile syphilis, alas, Is still alive today, like
the dark genius of non-plotonic love.    
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           A scientist's story.            
                                        
   Syphilis has long been a difficult mystery.
For the most enlightened people there was
at least a dozen of all sorts of sophisticated ideas,
of this evil, studying nature, doctors were eager
through the darkness.  How many were lost?
no one can count the people... After all, neither
dogs, neither sheep nor wolves know these
troubles, and that is why various rumors lasted
Wow years. Only at the beginning of the 20th century, in de-
nine hundred and five, Shaudin with Gofma-
nom-two people-established trouble. Two
scientists got an answer, two exclaimed
"Here!"  Here it is, that pale spirochete,
what amazes the people!  Hereshe's pale
Naya, like a countess, moves in small steps -
com, It will bend, then it will timidly freeze,
every trembling curl. In the flask she and
ha, and frail, afraid of the sun, acids,
She feels bad in alcohol, she feels stuffy in carbolic acid,
does not live on land at all. And in a person,
like in her own home, here she knows
its own, Here it manifests itself in full
her vile essence. Here the be-
she has a great temper - she ruins everything in a row. That's it,
whatever - and the organ that comes first
is to blame, And already also places that are longer,
that innocent bones are not guilty at all,
poor liver, list of other systems...
Syphilis is a difficult torment throughout
years... So thanks to the heroes of science,
low bow and hello!  Let's remember again
Wasserman with love (it was the head)
Created such a reaction with the blood that
is now alive. This reaction immediately finds those
or other crosses, which is confirmed by the diagram
noz and included in the complete set...beautiful
you.  And, although we believe that children and grandchildren
will achieve great victories, Eternal glory to the
to the swarms of science, low bow and hello!     
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           A doctor's story.             
                                        
   Completingthis long conversation
let’s let us down from a medical point of view
now the line.  How is the disease transmitted to
the benefit of the next victims!  How healthy
manages to move into the category of patients! Path
loving, the most important, there are problems in him
creature.  But he seems so nice,
you can't pull him away. Then, barely having time
to spend childhood on the road, Beginning-
they immediately put this tool into practice
die.  Then, having forgotten from sclerosis that he
not 2O years old, an old man with the ardor of a sailor
looking for passion and victories. Then in the hotel room
beds, filling the blood with cognac, Someone
spend your daily allowance on momentary love. Then
the wife, exhausted, writes a whole hymn to her husband,
And her other hand embraces another. Then
the driver gives the aunt a ride from the village to the village, and
When calculating, the same things come up...
Compared to this passion
sexual, the path has very little significance
household So that a washcloth or a cup for three
people alone, This is still not a common occurrence
quiet these days. In a couple of days, no
immediately after the fatal meeting, Appears
infection on the reproductive system. But he will think
Is he really an injured disabled person, what the
There is strength in this ulcer, the most harmless in appearance!
Life goes on like a daring, cheerful game,
Without treatment, an ulcer heals in a month and a half.
ra. Everything is fine and sensible, not life, but
beauty!  But suddenly the patient developed a rash on
the skin of the abdomen, the chest was sprinkled with both hands and
tonsils and mouth, thisthat means
Science goes further with syphilis.  Well, what if
the patient will not give meaning again, then
Without any treatment, the rash will go away on its own
itself, And then it will resume, And then
it will pass again... And it will last for years
this circuit!  Less rash, rash
larger, poor fellow's sipple and gundos, Spots
white on the neck, hair loss, all gone
will be born and will be again, so three years will pass.
And the patient will experience damage inside.
The bones in the body die, the spinal cord and
head, And suddenly declared himself Napoleon
Vit this patient. It’s not enough that children, since
mother was sick, appear in the world,
to suffer from lues. And the treatment was successful
but? Of course and always! But sooner
the easier it is to treat the problem, of course. And so that
grief is not appropriate, the majority understands:
Don't love just anyone, and nothing will happen.
After all, although it is dangerous, at least it brings
terrible harm, what is it, syphilis, wonderful
Sep? Whether you want it to be or not.          
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
         A patient's story.             
                                        
I have loved many. That one for ardent passion,   
And the one that remained cold,             
Tu-only forsomething that gave in easily,   
And the one who resisted a little.           
One for the high classic forehead,       
The other one - for the forehead of the cretinka,               
Brunettes attract! But I don't remember          
So that I wouldn't be attracted to blondes either.        
One is a flight attendant, the other is wine           
Selling at the local bazaar               
And life still passed in continuous 
Have a nice love frenzy...              
I loved once, I don’t remember who,         
But I remember, I mowed down a little,                
What attracted me to that creature?       
What evil spirit?                    
Probably three weeks have passed              
From the moment of love affairs,               
And suddenly I saw what was there, from the inside      
Some kind of sore has sunk.                  
For five days I bathed her in potassium permanganate,     
And he soaked it with vodka and saliva,               
But seeing no sense, I lost heart          
And I think, what’s wrong with me?                 
And then to top off this misfortune            
The glands in the groin are inflamed              
All night across the face, leaving marks,       
Hurtful tears rolled down...              
I went to the dispensary, cursing my life,   
He pulled down his foreign trousers,              
And gave away his biblical place           
I put the doctor in her girlish hands.                
They looked in my mouth and other places       
Pricked, scratched, crushed                  
And then they said:                        
"Even though the blood is pure, you have syphilisstill 
caught. "                              
And here I am lying among the same fighters.     
I'm lying all in white, like a bride.         
And I feel it in the end       
My real place.                    
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           A patient's story.            
                                        
I myself am from the simple ones, of course,               
It's not easy for me to reason,                 
And whom I loved dearly,                    
He's far, far away.                       
Where is he, my falcon, with whom            
I've been dating for a year?                
Where does it hum with its engine?                
Who does the changeable live with?                
Then I loved Kolya,                    
He was wearing a hat and glasses                  
And then she loved Tolya -                    
It's all badges on the front.              
Then I loved Pasha-                    
Oh, he was a handsome man!                
And then I loved Sasha,                    
That he left for Gelendzhik.                  
And then she loved Mitya,                    
Oh, his soul is generous!                     
And then I loved Vitya,                    
Gosha, Lesha andPetra.                     
And then one day I sat down                    
Guessing in front of the mirror                   
And I wonder: what’s the matter?                 
Hair began to fall out.                   
And all over my hair                 
A hundred bald patches here and there.                 
Well, buy a wig for wearing            
Or go to the doctors?                
And then during the song,                 
I feel my voice is hoarse,                    
Instead of music, at least crack             
A wheeze comes out of me.                   
I went to the doctor timidly,                
I explain why I’m sick,                   
He examined my body                    
And he said to me: “Here you go!                
Why were you sitting at home?                
Why didn't you come earlier?               
Look at your body-                
You've got a rash.                  
But this is not the beginning,                   
It's an old problem                        
Maybe you noticed an ulcer?                   
I say that it seems, yes.                  
How did I get onto the chair?               
The doctor turned gray like smoke             
And he said when I got down:                
"Oh, I envy the blind!"                 
It's syphilis, okay?                 
Do you understand or not?"                     
I look at these spots                   
A beautiful red color.               
I cry inconsolablyWell, the doctor from the glasses                    
Looks sternly and, of course,              
The question is about men.                
What can I say, brothers?                 
If I barely know them?                  
I won't start chattering                 
About glasses and badges!                 
Here I am lying on the bed                   
I think bitterly about it                    
What from all the injections from behind                
It's not a butt, but a sieve.                    
And one more thing is not nice -                     
It's so sad without men!                
I would love it here too                    
I'm only afraid of clap.                  
                                        
                                        
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        BALLAD OF GOHOPEE.           
Sit in a circle quickly, kids.       
       We're talking about gonorrhea.       
       Why does it suddenly happen       
       This is a sad disease.       
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
        History of the issue.            
                                        
This little illness                    
Popular like measles                    
Known to people since ancient times            
And we won't hide it,               
What's in the Pumckom College                
We understood gonorrhea,                  
Egyptian in the Nile Delta                 
He also looked sad                    
Kohl away from the pyramids                  
I smelled acute urethritis.                    
Scythians and Macedonians                      
She was paid tribute in full.                 
And cursing the former passion,                  
The Persians cried while urinating.                   
Even Judea knew what gonorrhea was,    
Year after year, century after century              
The old Greek became the new Greek          
It's a new era, but...                     
Gonorrhea is notrents out                       
Despite everything,                   
This illness survived                      
And the era of Pehecahca,                      
And old romances,                    
And the discovery of planets,                      
Days of Cybopobckux victories,                  
Both Rousseau and Lamertina                    
And Dumas, father and son,                     
And without becoming weaker                 
Crawled to this day.                 
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
        The causative agent of the disease.          
                                        
Opened in the 19th century                        
And his name is gonococcus                      
It was discovered by a certain Neiser            
Those who have successfully taken a smear.                 
There is a lot on this problem               
The sweat of pundits                    
But in the area of this matter                 
They figured out worse.                  
A dozen erroneous opinions                
Came from learned gentlemen                 
Only Naiser Albert is this genius          
Glorified the German people               
only he, having worked hard,           
Rejected years of lies.                
And all the professors said:               
“Here you are, Alik!”              
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           Paths of infection.             
                                        
What kind of disease is this?               
Due to some reasons                
It occurs in women                 
It happens to men.                    
And the point is for one reason            
From now on, from time immemorial                   
The woman was drawn to the man,               
Men were drawn to women.                 
And passions shook the earth,              
And led to a hundred troubles                 
And no power over them,              
And there are no laws.                  
The public could help         
But this factor is very weak.              
And women want men,                  
And men desire women.                    
And gonococcus is a microbe capable            
And he's the invisible villain                  
And as a result of cases like this -            
So he wanders among people.               
The one who sins is sick             
And therefore, alas and ah,                     
Complete ignoramuses get sickSmart guys with glasses get sick                  
The Chukchi and the Papuans are sick,                
Infantry Regiment Soldier                 
And a seventh grade student,               
And Seventh Day Adventist,               
Critics and peasants are sick,              
Pensioners, kids,                    
Both an atheist and a Christian,                 
And the left winger of Spartak.             
They get sick anywhere                  
Everywhere they meet with trouble:              
In the haylofts and basements,              
Both on water and under water,                 
And on the grass, and on the plane,               
On the ship and in the compartment,                   
And in the office at work,                 
And at the resort, etc.                     
They get sick from those who are sick,                  
What kind of people does the path encounter?               
And from the real ones walking,                 
And a little bit from people walking.                
Getting sick from friends                 
And almost always from strangers,                
And then their bright name                  
They can never remember.             
Opportunity lurks everywhere              
The moment you are already sick,                 
And who is especially lucky -                 
His wife gets sick!  Course of the disease.            
                                        
If you are infected, you are definitely sick,  
But not right away, oh, not right away               
People feel the infection!                  
And the man lives for himself                      
As he can, as he is used to:                  
In the morning he rushes to work,                 
Drinks Stolichnaya on Saturday             
Who goes to the circle for rehearsals,           
Who takes a mistress                  
Some go dancing, some go to the movies,               
Who plays dominoes?                    
And in such a familiar world                
Four days pass.                    
But one day, at dawn,                
Caught in the toilet                    
The man notices                       
That pus flowed from the penis.                
And looking at the organ,                   
He says: "Guten Morgen"              
And how will he urinate?               
Tears begin to flow.                  
And there is such a pain,                      
He wriggles all over.                     
If you urinate and cry,                  
Everyone knows what it means.              
But let's say this guy                 
The month urinates while screaming                  
He doesn't want to go to the doctor               
Because it's very scaryOr is he stupid as a log,                
What will happen? Gradually                
Maybe the pus will completely disappear,             
And he will urinate to his heart's content,               
And the patient will think:                     
“Everything went by itself”                 
And the man lives again                     
As he can, as he is used to,                  
But such men are certainly fools     
They will all groan one day                  
And do not live with it, and do not eat it,                
And screaming for help,                       
Citizens are calling out to the doctor.                  
Gonorrhea, oh no honey,                     
And leads to infertility                     
And one of all the reasons -                  
Impotence in men:                      
That is, he seems to be a man,               
In terms of height or rank,                
There is a mustache and a beard,                      
In a word, the guy is anywhere,                
But in reality he                     
Forced to live without women,              
There's more to it than being friends                
He can't offer.                 
Year after year it quietly multiplies,               
He whines, poor thing, but he can’t            
And he doesn’t drink on Saturday anymore                
And he doesn’t rush to work,                  
And he doesn’t go to the cinema anymore,                  
And he doesn’t take lovers,                  
Neither to dances, nor to the cinema,                 
He just plays dominoes.                   
Let everyone do thiswill take into account                 
Gonorrhea is not honey!                    
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
           Prevention.              
                                        
How to live without gonorrhea?                
Is it better to avoid it?                     
Simply, citizens, everything                   
Don't fall in love with anyone.                
Instead of all kinds of falling in love,               
Be a healthier body.                  
Explore your favorite region                     
Or collect stamps.                      
Dig in the garden                     
Or something like that                  
But, as already said,                    
We don't like this.                     
Give us wine, a party                 
And bulls in a tomato jar,                
Yes, a barrel of wine, b,                   
Yes, more different women.                 
But this is very bad,                  
And to look cultured,             
Get yourself one                       
Better, in general, a wife-                 
And love her and cut her,                      
And kiss her and be tender,                     
Well, if you get sick,So don't expect hard things,                  
Look at the dick and the piss                 
And go to the doctor quickly!                   
                                        
                                        
                                        
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   Scary Doctor Let It Hurt           
   He sits in the clinic.                 
   They don’t go to him for treatment              
   And don’t crowd people.              
 No one nearby is suffering              
   And the chair doesn’t wipe,               
   Because Let It Hurt                
   Loves the sight of blood.                   
   Doctor loves Let it hurt              
   Amputation, appendicitis,                
   Hernia, childbirth, whooping cough, measles               
   And our other illness.                 
                                        
   Little boy                    
   Got hit by a tram                
   The leg remained lying on the rail,   
   The glory of the scrotum remained in place.     
   The boy's mother grabbed him               
   She dragged me to Letbolit.              
   The doctor took the child with him,         
   Threw the leg aside            
   And prepares the instrumentSmiling like a cop.                
   He wants a second leg               
   But not right away, little by little              
   The boy should be cut off next,            
 Hernia, birth, whooping cough, measles               
   And our other illness.                 
                                        
   Little boy                    
   Got hit by a tram                
   The leg remained lying on the rail,   
   The glory of the scrotum remained in place.     
   The boy's mother grabbed him               
   She dragged me to Letbolit.              
   The doctor took the child with him,         
   Threw the leg aside            
   And prepares the instrument                
   Smiling like a cop.                
   He wants a second leg               
   But not right away, little by little              
   The boy should be cut off next,            
   So as not to spend money on sneakers.            
   The boy cries and sobs -             
   The doctor cuts off the leg.               
   And he shouldn’t run on the asphalt,         
   And don't give him another somersault.