White parrot - 9600 baud.

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 Chapter One,               
                                          
  in which Winnie the Pooh installs himself  
         two more telephone lines         
                                          
     Vinny looked up from his keyboard for a moment.
viatures to wipe your sweaty brow with your paw.
Today he was extremely lucky. Several
days ago for a honey jar with two
wires and a light bulb on the cover, which
The rabbit blindly mistook it for a high-speed
modem, he encouraged him to dig around with a crowbar
junction box for international telephone
no network "SAVA-International".Rabbit for-
they imprisoned me for fifteen days, but now everything
bills for calls over the hill, to the neighboring Forest,
came to the Oak, to the Bees, which is why they strongly
were angry and promised to raise next year
honey prices are tripled.Winnie the Pooh quickly rang at two
neighboring forests, where under the name Piglet and
password "ZHELUDD" leaked a hefty toy
ku.  After that he started calling
all  BBS (that is, Brevno Board System) in
within the boundaries of the native Forest.                    
                                          
     Now the hot modem is producing
production of the company "Kenga and K5Z5RU
Communication Industries" cool down a little
shaft, watered with water from the one that had cooled down for three
day of the kettle.                            
                                          
     Suddenly Vinnie was called from behind.
                                          
     “Christopher Robin has come,” thought
Vinnie, going out to Norton. According to some reports
he did not want to share with him the leaked
from a distant overseas Forest with a toy, and
Moreover, Christopher Robin often reminded
Vinnie about the sawdust in his head, which is bearish
The little woman was a little angry.                      
                                          
     - Hello, Vinny! - said Christopher
Robin.                                    
                                          
     - Is it something, yes?means, he said
Winnie the Pooh thoughtfully, getting out of
directory depths DOWNLOAD somewhere higher
go to the root.                               
                                          
     “The rabbit has already been released,” said
Christopher Robin.                          
                                          
     - What did he do? - asked Vinny
indifferent. Christopher Robin didn't answer.   
                                          
     - Well, Vinnie, I leaked the eighth Space
Quest?  - asked Christopher Robin with confidence
doy.                                      
                                          
     - If I haven’t downloaded it, it means I
he wasn’t leaked,” said Winnie the Pooh evasively.
- I think so...                        
                                          
     “Okay,” said Christopher Robin,
drooping.  - It's time for me to go home. To the women... to
grandma.  As soon as you salt it, dial... Just don’t
I know when now you will have -
How can you harness this philosopher...            
                                          
     - Which philosopher?  - unexpectedly
Winnie perked up.                       
                                          
     - Yes, this donkey, Eeyore... Who?
yet?  The car doesn't work, what else can you do?eat...                                    
                                          
     Vinnie looked out the window. Next to him
a luxurious Mercedes, trimmed for beauty
plush outside, there was a modest Ford
Christopher Robin, which was harnessed to
donkey Eeyore. The famous philosopher was boring
as always, I looked at the number plates in bewilderment.
ra on Pooh's car: "MI-1992-OT", and thought,
probably about something - a tearing spectacle. 
                                          
     - A brilliant philosopher... The greatest
programmer of our time... And harness it to
heavy car, - Winnie the Pooh is indignant -
Nii grabbed the keyboard to turn
sew it on Christopher Robin's head, but
he prudently disappeared behind the door. B
the window could be seen as Christopher Robin approached
walked to his Ford, kicked it in the front
wheel, swore, then went up to Eeyore and
did the same.                       
                                          
     “Barbarian,” thought Winnie the Pooh.  -
"I think so."                          
                                          
     He drank some water from the kettle and
poured the rest onto the furiously smoking roof-
ku modem. The water hissed, and Winnie the Pooh was-
I jumped back in fear so as not to get burned by the steam.
He scratched his head and decided to fry it on
modem scrambled eggs.                           
                                          
     The phone attached to the
eleventh telephone line. Vinnie took off
pipe and listened warily - The bees for-
introduced a new fashion to joke about the poor bear
jonkom: at first it was quiet on the phone, but
There was an eerie buzzing sound.          
                                          
     This time Winnie was called by the Rabbit.    
                                          
     - Vinny, is your line free?! -
he screamed in admiration, burr- ing as always
yes.  - I didn’t expect it... Tell me, Vinny, modem,
which you gave me, it is Hayes-compatible-
my?                                      
                                          
     “Of course,” said Vinny, groping in
closet in search of a non-empty jar of honey.      
                                          
     - Why can’t Tegminate understand him?
wants?                                    
                                          
     - Which Terminate? - feigned surprise
Winnie curled up.  - I don’t even know such a thing -
sem... Maybe he's underLexand?              
                                          
     “No-no-no-no,” he said quickly.
Rabbit drank.  - Anything, just not under
Lexand!                                   
                                          
     - ...or under CM1200?                 
                                          
     - Under SM?  - The rabbit thought. - No
I know... I need to check it out. Tell me, Vin...
no, you don't have any of this left -
th... what's his name?... telecommunications
a package like Telix, so that he...      
                                          
     “Damn intellectual,” thought Vin.
neither, without listening to the Rabbit. It is convenient to scoop-
shaft with your paw in a jar of honey and immediately
put it in my mouth, and therefore could not
get distracted by extraneous things. When honey
ended, Winnie the Pooh threw the can on the floor and
shouted into the phone:                        
                                          
     - Yes, yes, I have, I have everything, po-
I’ll bring it, don’t take up the line, big-eared one, -
he hung up.                         
                                          
     Out of respect for the intelligentsia, the last
the word of the dialogue was spoken after
after Rabbit hung up.          
                                          
     SAVA called, who was working on
by the fact that, in partnership with Tigra, she extended
The forest has threads and strings that they bring from her
passed off as a companiontelephone lines.
The phone in the Forest worked well without them. 
                                          
     “Tell me, Mr. Pooh,” said
SAVA is diplomatic. - You wish yourself to be tired -
update two more additional lines by
preferential rates?                       
                                          
 - Drop that tone, SAVA, - said Vin-
neither.  - I wish two lines, for three months now,
I submitted my application...                      
                                          
     “Sorry, Pooh,” said SAVA. -Tig-
ra chewed all the wires from the mail server
Yeah, and the mail didn't arrive for a long time...   
                                          
     “Wires,” thought Pooh angrily. -
“Knit socks from these wires.”         
                                          
     - ... in total you will have forty-six
lines,” continued SAVA. - For installation
within four days you must
pay a fee of twenty-six
Forest marks, after which...                  
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh didn't listen to her anymore, but
threw the pipe on the floor littered with cigarette butts
and honeycombs. When out of the tube soon
short beeps were heard, he calmly
put it on the phone lever and returned to
to a hot modem, which is bubbling
la scrambled eggs.Having spent a little energy on its preparation,
heating, the modem became a little cooler;
water poured onto the modem from the kettle is already almost
it did not hiss, and no steam came from it.       
                                          
     Vinnie spat on his paws for courage
and typed the coveted command "telix".        
                                          
              Chapter Two,               
                                          
    in which Christopher Robin falls    
      in a not very pleasant position       
                                          
     The next day in a humble bank
Christopher Robin had a scandal: forty million
lions Forest marks sailed away from the common ban-
kovsky account to the neighboring Les on the basis of
new password received via the banking network
at three o'clock in the morning on a weekend, that is
yesterday.                                    
                                          
     Judging by the call log, the attacker
a lazy man, as they say in crime reports,
"entered the apartment by picking the key-
whose", that is, he guessed the password to the system with
the third time, alternately enteringsystem
under different names.                      
                                          
     Automatic caller ID
caller accurately all three
for identified number (68976)2423324.Christo
Fer Robin decided to conduct a private investigation
dovaniya, since the stolen money was
cleaned up from his drug operation
from honeycombs, and went to Lesnaya
Telephone exchange, where he and Tigra
spent four hours looking for a rope leading to
subscriber (68976)2423324. A rope soon
found, but the search for the subscriber was unsuccessful
success: the second end of the rope led
Christopher Robin to the completely prosaic
bush, on which, through this particular
There was a beer can hanging from strings.       
                                          
     There was a cigar butt lying next to the bush.
you"Marl-BOR",three burnt matches and
magazine "Forest News", published by
government "Pyatachkovskaya Pravda".          
                                          
     "Didn't Piglet steal my money?
ki?"  - thought Christopher Robin, but then
dismissed it indignantlythis thought. All on
what Piglet could be capable of is
steal somewhere at Eeyore's birthday
donkey's favorite size balloon.  
                                          
     Immediately Christopher Robin thought about
possible participation in the Eeyore robbery, but
this thought was also dismissed - Eeyore
could finish the thought he started, not that
put your hooves on the keyboard and...
get the password.                           
                                          
 There was only one resident left
Lesa, who can do this: a famous ha-
ker Winnie the Pooh. But Winnie the Pooh Christopher Ro-
Bean also believed as much as himself, and then,
according to rumors spread by Piglet, Vin-
I was not busy making toys just now,
in which the main character is
there was a pig collecting acorns. Christo-
Fer Robin got into the Ford and waved the whip
Tom...                                    
                                          
     The foreign sponsor gave Rabbit a mo-
dem at 14400 baud, after which he got through
to the United Forests of America, where on one
from BBS one of the many local Forests of Ka-
nifolnii downloaded the manufacturing manual
extracting honey from last year's dry leaves.
Rabbit translated this manual overnight into
Forest languagePromt`om, after which I called
Vinny and, burr more than ever,
stated that he is the owner of such
valuable thing.                              
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh urgently demanded
this valuablestuff to him,but the Rabbit is desperate
showed off, and Vinnie, in retaliation, everyone
day I sent him to BBS (called
"Rabbit`s Nightmare") huge and
the most meaningless files megabytes by three
tsat under different tempting names. Mo-
maybe less, but not much - for Vin-
neither the modems were all truly high-
fast, and free space on the hard drive
The rabbit was measured in about five megabytes.     
                                          
     Three days later the Rabbit gave up and Winnie
Pooh, leaving Laser Jet IV print valuable
document on recycling of recyclable materials (i.e.
leaves), went to Lesnaya Telefonnaya
station to chat with his old friend
Lem Tigra.                               
                                          
     Tigger sat in front of the monitor and
forgetfully played Double Tetris for two -
with both paws, swaying to the beat of the music and
growling with pleasure.                     
                                          
     - Hello, Tigger! - said Winnie the Pooh,
trying to drown out the music.                 
                                          
     - Hello, Pooh!  - Tigger growled. -
Look how cool this game is!           
                                          
     - This is the sixth time you’ve shown it to me -
“Eat,” said Winnie the Pooh. - Is this something?
yes that means.                                
                                          
     Tigger quit playing and became a demonstrator
Tell Pooh your latest achievements:
hundred-kilobyte music in Scream Tracker. 
                                          
     All the Tigers' music had enormous
number of effects with drummers, completely
absolutely senseless, and everyone was buzzing fiercely
stung.                                     
                                          
 “This is “w-w-w” for a reason,” said
Winnie the Pooh seriously, obviously remembering
fell from the Oak, and frowned.              
                                          
     Tigger became wary and turned off the music.
                                          
     - Well, what cool games are there? -
he growled questioningly.- There is a jump. "Bumpy" is called. 
                                          
     - What about a simple one?                         
                                          
     “See for yourself,” said Vinny.
Pooh, taking out a floppy disk.                    
                                          
     Tigger fiercely grabbed the floppy disk
and soon a copy of the toy appeared on his
Winchester, and Vinnie became the owner of a pot-
a broken and bitten floppy disk.           
                                          
     The opening music amused Tiger.
Then the difficulties began.                 
                                          
     - Difficult! - Tigger growled pitifully. -
I wish I had more lives...                 
                                          
     “They’ll break it,” Vinny said confidently.
Pooh.  - I’ll send it to St. Lesburg or to
Leskva, they’ll look there and immediately break it.  
                                          
     - UGi will break everything! - yelled joyfully
Tiger.                                    
                                          
     - UGi  will not break, UGi will spoil -
said Winnie the Pooh confidently, - but in MCL
will be broken.                                  
                                          
     - Why don’t you break it yourself? -
asked the Tiger pleadingly, realizing that
there is no one to rely on.                     
                                          
     - No time, Tigger.  But tell me
Tiger, it’s weak to do this to someone
called, and his Caller ID showed nasty stuff
some? Well, not my phone?           
                                          
     - Am I weak? - Tigger was indignant. -
Yes, wet the tip of the tail! Now, I'll...  
                                          
     Tigger reached into the wiring closet, un-
there was a crash and sparks flew; soon from
Tiger appeared from a smoking box from a piece of wood -
We have wires in our teeth.                      
                                          
     - Now, no one Caller ID will fail,
- he growled joyfully.                   
                                          
     - Well, thank you Tigger... - Fluff of the rass-
fell in gratitude.  - There’s a new one behind me
game,” he said goodbye.           
                                          
              Chapter Three,               
                                          
in which the Rabbit almost misses St.
Kondraty, because Winnie the Pooh spoils him
modem.                                    
                                          
     Vinnie gloomily started his Mercedes
and drove out to Poohovaya Edge. He stopped
where the road forked, wondering where
would like to go. Finally he decided to go to
Rabbit and ruffle his ears for
I didn’t give him a document about recycling for a long time
leaves.                                  
                                          
     Near the Rabbit's hole stood a battered
all sides "Zaporozhets" with a broken windshield
glass. Vinny got out of the Mercedes, the doors
automatically locked and the little bear screamed
I looked technically at Rabbit's car. He's
poked him with his foot in the left tire, "Contrap-
the "zhets" instantly fell on his side, and Vinnie,
sighing, he walked closer to the hole.         
                                          
     - Rabbit, are you home? - he asked in a but
ru, from which came a rather weak, but familiar
the smell of rotten cabbage.                     
                                          
     The rabbit did not answer.                   
                                          
     - Come on, break`ay on Chat faster, -
demanded Pooh.                           
                                          
     The hole responded with an ominous silence.
Added to the smell of rotten cabbage
Carvalol.  Soon dreams appeared from the hole -
began the Rabbit's trembling ears, and then
their owner asked - he obviously decided
what to answer to Winnie the Pooh, what to himself
no home, at least inhumanely.      
                                          
     “Hello, big-eared,” said Pooh to
affably, in the sense, greeted Rabbit-
ka.                                       
                                          
     “Pgivet, Pooh,” said the Rabbit in fear.
ganno. - Come in...                        
                                          
     Pooh did not keep himself waiting and quickly
crawled into the hole.  In the middle of the Rabbit's hole
stood a tattered EC1840with a black and white mo-
nitor, but next to her stood a luxurious
Zuhel, shimmering with light bulbs andLCD-moni-
upright. From other conditions in the hole
Lika there was a bedding of straw, a barrel with
rotten cabbage and a large buffet with
ry Winnie the Pooh and fixed his gaze.- Do you want some sguffenki? - asked the Rabbit
with hope.                               
                                          
     - No, thank you. Beer is better.           
                                          
     “But there’s no beer...” he said in fear.
Rabbit.                                   
                                          
     “Well, then bring it,” said Pooh, under-
pushing him towards the exit.                    
                                          
     When the Rabbit disappeared from sight, he
stuffily rebooted the EU without even turning
attention to the fact that on BBS Rabbit is careful
be careful not to accidentally leak anything too much
Go, the timid user dug.                  
                                          
     Then Winnie the Pooh pulled out of the EU
cord from Zuhel, the wiring on which was
cleaned with the strong teeth of the Rabbit, and equally
stuffily stuck the ends into the socket. The modem responded
made a surprised squeak and some stranger
with a rustling sound. Winnie the Pooh coughed from breathing
ma and pulled the cord out of the socket.            
                                          
     After thisEC1840was turned on again
on and Vinnie noted with satisfaction that
The modem is not working. After this he
out of nowhere went to the Rabbit's buffet and
oneafter another he emptied all the jars of honey
and condensed milk, as well as thirty-two
a bottle of carvalol and a packet of buckwheat
- but this is already through force.                  
                                          
     The Rabbit appeared with a bottle of beer.     
                                          
     “Oh, thank you,” said Pooh, and the beer
was sent after a bag of cereal.
“Yes,” said Pooh lazily. - You have BBS
something is not working, - the Rabbit grabbed the
heart. - I’m calling you - but I can’t connect -
I can’t... - explained Pooh, pouring it on
Rabbit's nose is what's left in the bottle
from under carvalol. - Well, I'm off...        
                                          
     Pooh didn't come out of the Rabbit's hole
the usual way - through the front entrance, and you -
walked carefully so as not to hurt his paws,
knocking out the window.  He remembered how last time
I couldn't move for forty minutes because of
eaten honey.                          
                                          
     He got into the Mercedes and headed down
to your affairs. Driving past the Oak, Pooh sat
got drunk, rolled up all the windows and accelerated hard -
The bees considered him a vile defense breaker
from unauthorized copying of honey,
violatorCopyright`s (meaning howeveryone knows, "Copied to the right" or
"Copied correctly") and in every possible way inappropriate
loved.                                
                                          
     Vinnie drove up to the house, on the door of which
it was written"Do Not Ent..."that,
as Piglet explained to everyone, it meant
English translation of his clever surname
"To outsiders V." (or, as I remember, Wil-
yam Outsiders).                         
                                          
     He stopped the car and pressed the horn
cash  Immediately Piglet jumped out of the door with
two balloons - blue and red -
nom, and joyfully hopped on one leg,
I mean, on one hoof.                 
                                          
     “Vinny, Vinny,” he squealed joyfully
piglet, how glad I am that you came! A
then COMPUTER (Piglet always diligently
pronounced this word) hung the day before yesterday...
that is, the day before yesterday, and what to do,
I don’t really know... Did you write a toy?    
                                          
     - What toy? - asked the tortured
constant annoyance of the pig Vin-
neither.                                       
                                          
     - Well, the one where the little pig collects
such pretty acorns...- What kind of little pig? - surprised
Vinnie. - I didn’t write anything like that...    
                                          
     “It’s a pity,” he said, not at all upset.
Piglet hall.  - I already promised it to everyone
SPREAD (with this word Piglet always
replaced the words “drain”, “reset” and others
others)... and SAVE, and Kanga, and Rabbit... And
Christopher Robin. Yes, he came today
on Eeyore. I asked about you.             
                                          
     - What did you ask? - Pooh was wary.
                                          
     - Yes, all sorts of bullshit... How are you living?
you're like your wife, children... Oh, why am I doing this?
I asked if you DISTRIBUTED games to me -
some kind of ruin... And in general, all sorts of...
something...                                    
                                          
     - Okay, Piglet, now I’ll give you a digger
I'll put it on - play for now...                
                                          
     “Diggera...” whined Piglet. - I
I played it for three days last week
in a row... I even fell from my chair - what a bump
stuffed... Let's get better with Arkanoid. Or prin-
tsa. Of Persia.                            
                                          
             Chapter Four,             
                                          
   in which the Rabbit plans sinister    
           terrorist attack           
                                          
     Kanga came to the Rabbit in response to a call about
warranty repair of Zuhel.               
                                          
     - The modem is not working? - she asked
kindly. - Ru, honey, look...         
                                          
     Little Roo took a screwdriver out of his bag and
Hesitantly approached the damaged modem. 
                                          
     - Unplug from the socket, - carefully
said Kanga. Little Roo obediently tore off
wire from the socket - the plug sat in it on
rarely strong - and stated that it would be so -
lo.                                       
                                          
     “Yes, honey,” Kanga said affectionately.
- And from this muck, from this infection too
turn it off...                                
                                          
     Ru also tore the cord from the EU.          
                                          
     “Now take off the lid,” she said.
Kanga.  - With a screwdriver, not with your teeth! Teeth are used
you're ruining it!! What, have you already taken it off?                  
                                          
     Roux confirmed that the cover had already been removed.“Okay,” said Kanga, taking out
from the bag a screwdriver, large in scale,
but the same in appearance as
used by Ru.                           
                                          
     - Let's see, let's see... - thoughtfully
said Kanga, and from the unfortunate Zuhel into
wires and some
chars similar to charred bones.
                                          
     The rabbit became hysterical.           
                                          
     - That's why it doesn't work! -ra-
said Little Ru honorably, fiercely
sticking a screwdriver into the processor.                 
                                          
     The rabbit fainted. When he comes
was coming to his senses, Kanga and Roo were doing what
tried to put the lid back on the tortured
Nogo Zuhel.                              
                                          
     - Well, how? - asked the Rabbit hoarsely
voice.                                  
                                          
     - Works! - Kanga said affectionately. 
                                          
     - About MNP,Rabbit, you will never again
“You won’t hear,” Ru said joyfully. - Right-
yes, mom, huh?“Really, honey,” said Kanga. - A
Why does Uncle Rabbit need MNP?He already has it - there
what ears!                                
                                          
     - When I grow up, I will also have
like that! - said Ru.                       
                                          
     - No way! - Kanga was indignant. - A
then you will be the same idiot as your uncle
Rabbit, who will love you for this?   
                                          
     Little Roo had to agree,
that no one will love you for this, and
the happy family left the Rabbit's hole,
leaving her owner with the ruined Zuhe-
la, next to which lay the indescribable
number of parts that during the repair provided
superfluous.                            
                                          
     When the Rabbit came to his senses after the shock
ka, he discovered that MNP in his updated
The modem is completely absent. Rabbit oz-
attacked the entire Forest and swore to plan
carry out some kind of terrorist act.   
                                          
     Late at night near Pukhovaya
edges where Lesnaya buzzed ominously
Substation, a dark trembling shadow appeared
with long ears and an axe. She, having made her way-
walking between the thickplexus of barbed wire
wire, which is caused by high voltage
hummed rhythmically, came close to the dimmed
the alluring glowing windows of Winnie the Pooh and
threw off the old and torn black
coat.                                   
                                          
     The rabbit (and it was he) ominously
He gnashed his teeth and looked out the window. There
Winnie the Pooh, lounging in a plush chair,
lazily watched the pictures come out BBS
"Plusheviy Bear (4 lines)",and decided what
I wish I could drain such a healthy one.                
                                          
     The rabbit gnashed his teeth again,
so that Winnie the Pooh knows who he is dealing with,
and looked around. Straight out of Winnie Poo's mansion
ha led a thick cable of the service Interles-
nal Telephone Lines. The rabbit gnashed
teeth for the last time and swung the top
rum... Winnie the Pooh was about to drain the last
list of files with "Teddy bear", clicked
button "D", but unexpectedly on the street
there was a grinding sound, sparks flew, on the screen
multi-colored garbage began to flicker, stopped -
a conversation on the phone with Kanga about
delivery of a new modem, squealedsecurity
alarm, and Winnie the Pooh managed to notice
as if at great speed through a barbed
jumped the wire with someone's screams
scorched figure.                         
                                          
     - @#$!  - said Winnie the Pooh, furiously
throwing the phone on the floor. If a conversation with
Kangoy wouldn't stop, she would probably
she would become deaf and her ears would wither.            
                                          
     Vinnie took a double-barreled shotgun from the wall, which
I guess he waved at the modem Lexand at Piglet
(which he didn’t need at all), charging
I drank both trunks with the remains of what I ate yesterday
cake and other rubbish and went outside.   
                                          
     He fired the first salvo into the air. To his
Surprisingly, no one yelled "don't shoot"
or “I give up.” Vinny shot without looking away
himself, and for some reason ended up in Eeyore. Donkey
he screamed wildly, threw up all four hooves
zom and quickly killed... I mean, flew away with
the speed of a jet bomber.    
                                          
     “Eeyore is not without reason,” said
Winnie the Pooh said out loud and went home.            
                                          
     In the morning he got into his Mercedes and drove
halal to quarrel with Kanga - for not fighting
the security alarm was going off, and with SAVA -
for having wires(threads/ropes) were
not very durable.                        
                                          
     Kanga reacted to Pooh's statement
very indifferent.                        
                                          
     - Dear Ru will return from tennis, -
she said.  - And everything will be fixed instantly.
You know, Pooh, my Roo...                    
                                          
     Pooh didn't listen any further.  He's in the car
took out a half-smoked bull from the pack, snapped it
I took it and felt the greatest pleasure
life  He stepped on the gas and headed towards the SA-
BE.                                       
                                          
     “Hello, SAVA,” he said from the doorway.
                                          
     SAVA was sitting at her desk with
386-m Compaq`om and thought hard where
on the keyboard there is a key "Y", although the key
She didn't need the "Y" at all.              
                                          
     - Hello, Mr. Winnie the Pooh, -
SAVA said diplomatically.                
                                          
     “Hello, old hanger,” said
Winnie the Pooh. - So that you three times a minute for-
hung.  My phone still doesn't work...
yeah...- All forty-six lines? - asked
SAVA.                                     
                                          
 - All forty-six, - confirmed Pooh,
sitting down in a spacious chair and pulling up to
own an ashtray.                          
                                          
     - Have you paid for them? - politely in-
SAVA was interested.                        
                                          
     “Paid, paid,” he assured her.
Winnie the Pooh. He never paid SAVE anything
th, and all because SAVA forest brands are considered
she couldn't thief, and Winnie the Pooh is to blame for this
I wasn't.  - That’s not why the phone doesn’t work,
You're such a fool that it hasn't been paid. There
the wire is cut. Some kind of brute...
had some fun...                  
                                          
     “SKATINA,” SAVA carefully typed
on the keyboard.  - Okay, Winnie the Pooh, I
I'll send Tiger, he'll sort it out...         
                                          
     - So that in forty minutes everything will be...
That's it, - said Winnie the Pooh, - I'm about to-
I walk around my friends, and if, when I
I'll be back, at least one line will be dead -
taya, I'm for you... I'm with you... I don't even know
what kind of tobacco chicken will I make out of you.Chapter Five,               
                                          
in which the Heffalump suddenly appears
 and Piglet gives valuable advice to Winnie the Pooh  
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh got into the Mercedes and lazily
pressed the pedal. The car took off and
Vinnie almost drowned in the seat, too,
Of course, plush.  He turned the steering wheel sharply
to the right and decided to call on my friend
Rabbit to find out if he, by chance, learned
learned in my old age to use topography
rum  He drove up to his hole and was very surprised
curled - the old "Zaporozhets" in its place
there wasn't. In its place stood a wooden
a pin to which a blue balloon was tied
stuffy ball.                             
                                          
     "This ball won't lift the Rabbit" -
thought Winnie the Pooh. - “In my opinion, so. Here
something for a reason."                        
                                          
     He took a closer look at the ball and noticed a bright
cue hoof print "Made by
Piatachock".                              
                                          
     “No other way, he waved the wheelbarrow at the ball,” -
thought Winnie the Pooh and came closer to No-
re.- Rabbit, come onChat`come on, user
walked! - he said affectionately into the hole.     
                                          
     “Come in, dear Winnie the Pooh,” said
Rabbit from the inside.                           
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh got down on all fours and...
crawled into the hole, waiting in my soul for the impact of the frying pans -
hit me on the head. There was no blow, to his surprise.
followed.  A Rabbit was sitting near the EU with
bandaged head.                  
                                          
     - Here, you see, fsy nof was dialing, -
he said to Pooh. - Dafe has a headache
fsya...                                    
                                          
     “Yeah,” said Winnie the Pooh and looked askance
to the buffet.                                 
                                          
     “Beer is great,” said the Rabbit.        
                                          
     “Ah...” began Winnie the Pooh.       
                                          
     “And cognac is good,” said the Rabbit.    
                                          
     - Ah...                               
                                          
     “And kolbafa,” said the Rabbit.        
                                          
     Vinnygrunted and looked at E.S.  
                                          
 - Still frolicking? - he asked.       
                                          
     “Yeah,” said the Rabbit, showing the length
new teeth.                                 
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh looked around the hole and noticed
a large hatchet modestly crouched in the corner
sizes.                                 
                                          
     “Well, yes,” said Pooh. - Don’t you know?
Are you, by any chance, who is seeing me off at night?
chopped my daughter with a hatchet? All?             
                                          
     - Provodofki? - Kro asked joyfully
face                                      
                                          
     “Them, my dears,” said Pooh no less
joyfully.                                 
                                          
     - Fse? - The Rabbit continued to rejoice.
                                          
     - That's it, there's nothing left. 
                                          
     - At night? - the Rabbit rejoiced.        
                                          
     - Yes, right on the darkest night,
they came, s... bastards, and - bale! - not a damn thing
The modem is on and I can’t hear it either. Here's Tigger right now
Probably there is a predator there...“Yes,” said the Rabbit cautiously. -
Tiger - mofet...                          
                                          
     - What can it do? - Vinnie asked how
as if I hadn't heard.                       
                                          
     - I'm talking, mofet, is this a Heffalump? -
asked the Rabbit.                           
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh became gloomy.  From meeting with
Heffalump (as, indeed, Pya-
wheelbarrow) left the most unpleasant memories
knowledge.                                    
                                          
 “Maybe a Heffalump,” said Vinny
Pooh.  - Just what the hell is this?
The heffalump began to cut the wires - it would be better
stepped on the roof... There would be meat!...
They would sell it to the neighboring Forest... You know there
how many volts?  I mean it was... Security
The alarm didn't work either - Kanga
said that maybe the object was too
the lump is flimsy and dead. The rabbit hiccups offendedly
zero - he doesn’t feel flimsy/dead at all
thought.                                   
                                          
     “Well, off I go,” said Winnie the Pooh and
glanced sideways at the modem grinding in the corner. -
Is Zuhel plowing? - he asked hopefully.    
                                          
     “Yeah,” said the Rabbit, shaking
up and down longears.                
                                          
     Piglet has been without sleep for two and a half days.
I played Prince well. Finally he doesn't care
finished, and with great caution he began
press completely arbitrary keys
shi, about which Vinnie didn’t tell him anything -
called. How it came out in DOS, Piglet didn’t help
Neil  After wandering absentmindedly around the keyboard, he
and didn’t notice how I ended up inTeleMate...  
                                          
     When the modem stopped annoyingly
sing, Piglet jumped from his high chair
to the floor and stretched. For two and a half
days of sitting in a chair, the hind legs are porous
Senka became numb, and he almost fell on
the floor, feeling a tickling tingle in his hooves -
sound, causing him to grunt excitedly -
vat.                                     
                                          
     To warm up, Piglet took an air balloon
ball and made two circles around the standing
corner from the year before last New Year tree -
the first time with a song, the second time - just with
with a smug grunt.              
                                          
     He became very, very bored. He
sat in a chair, lay on the bed, and
finally decided to go to Vinny - required
tothe little bear finally created for him
a new toy with the indispensable participation of po-
Senka.  He climbed into the one exchanged with the Rabbit
"Zaporozhets", stuck his hooves into the existing
in the bottom there are holes the size of the bottom itself,
began to carefully push away from the ground
you, simultaneously humming in imitation of a worker
melting engine and turning the steering wheel. The steering wheel itself
the steering was not connected.        
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh sat with a gloomy look in
his plush chair and created a new
a vile virus that was about to be planted
To the bees. Yesterday, together with Vinnie, he kicked the tiger -
bitter, and now with a growl he dug
Vinnie in the junction box, trying to connect
thread of the wire - Tigra had a terrible pain in her throat
fishing                                     
                                          
     - Hello, Piglet!  - Vinnie said
Pooh, when the pig, grunting joyfully,
squeezed through the door after the balloon
Rick.                                    
                                          
     - Hello, Vinny! - said Piglet
in a thin voice, with amazing agility
completely climbing the printer stand
on the table - from the floor he never saw that
was happening on the monitor. - What are you doing?
Oh, so many letters! And how many numbers!
And this little thing runs around! What
is this Vinnie?“The virus will be so nasty,” he said.
Vinnie's hall, lazily pummeling the keyboard with his paws,
tour. - I’ll send it to the Bees - that’s a lot of laughter -
children!  Just don't tell anyone, otherwise
Do you know how Tiger loves pork cutlets?    
                                          
     "You'll have to use rubbing alcohol at home."
rub,” thought Piglet, terribly afraid
free from any infection.                      
                                          
     “Yes, I mean, I’m fine,” he said.
out loud.  From his mention of pork cutlets
the veins began to shake and it became cold somewhere
in the area of the vast stomach.            
                                          
     - That's how I'm interested, the files are...
It’s better to infect,” Vinnie thought. - If
I will put RET,at the beginning of the program and the stack
I'll make you look at the return address...    
                                          
     -Who will you make watch? - scared-
Xia Piglet, who imagined something
scary.                                 
                                          
     “Stack,” said Winnie the Pooh.          
                                          
     “Yeah,” said Piglet understandingly and
moved away from the monitor.         
                                          
     - Here... I'll make him look athell-
res return, then the Bees will probably think
they say that this is just some kind of mistake - and
they won't notice anything. And if I put in
began the transition to a virus as a challenge to procedure
ry, then the Bees will probably think that this is
a small subroutine - and also nothing
will notice. I think so.                    
                                          
     - Yeah! - Piglet assented.          
                                          
     - Well, what are we going to put on? - asked
Vinnie.                                    
                                          
     -  I?  And... Him... You know, Vinnie, -
said Piglet decisively.  - If there
someone will look at someone - then this
very scary.  Let's better give you the little one
desk... port... food program - everything
The bees won't notice anything either.            
                                          
     - Through the mouth of a piglet speaks the Truth, -
said Pooh importantly, decisively lowering his paws
on the keyboard, and Piglet visibly blushed
and began to draw out the non-
certain circles.                       
                                          
              Chapter Six,               
                                          
in which Eeyore sees the bait-
teliala spectacle, and Piglet turns out to be
cool hacker                            
                                          
     The bees were indignant. Some in-
the infection that he sharpened, according to the agents
data, Winnie the Pooh and which are the best hackers
They couldn’t catch the oak tree, it got into the habit of
The Worst Time to Call Using a Modem
Piglet, send him the Most Needed Files
from the database on the total amount of honey from
Bees on the hard drive and wash them yourself
Bees.                                     
                                          
     Piglet, apparently, is in this case
was not involved. Winnie the Pooh himself from pre-
manifested by an angry buzzing on the phone
refused accusations and claimed that in
I'm currently busy writing more seriously
our documentation regarding the passage of
widely popular toy
Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis.   
                                          
     In fact, Winnie the Pooh was doing
development of a clever communication program
frame into which I was going to insert the sec-
a reticent bug for your own needs. This is for-
the concept consumed all his free time and
everything is not free, and the Bees temporarily
were silent.                                   
                                          
     Nobodydidn't suspect melancholy
Eeyore of the best hacker in the Forest, but still
it was like that. Eeyore was doing what lo-
small indiscriminately. Norton broke to
Link was turned on by pressing one key.
I broke the Turbo C so that it ceased to exist
similar to C and became similar to Turbo Pas-
cal. I even brokeCommand.Comso that the command
yes DOS "dir" was displayed after the list of files 
                                          
XXXXXXXX colucheck(s) XXXXXXX bytes free. 
                                          
     One day Winnie the Pooh, being very
is busy developing its communication
programs SmartMiot, raised indignantly
the phone was ringing and heard
at the other end is the neighing of a donkey.              
                                          
     “The bees are frolicking,” thought Vinnie and
wanted to throw the phone harder on the floor,
so that the residents of Dub will probably go deaf, but
suddenly I heard a familiar, almost crying voice
los Eeyore "a heartbreaking spectacle - here
what is this... a devastating sight
- that’s what it’s called!”- Hello, Eeyore! - Winnie the Pooh said in
handset.                                   
                                          
     “Hello, Pooh Bear,” said
Eeyore, almost crying.                     
                                          
     - Why are you stealing? - asked Pooh.      
                                          
     - Yes, so - all sorts of pathetic, insignificant
programs,” said Eeyore. - Right now here's-
I bark that in Space Quest V]I[ the password is not
I asked - and I’ll erase this annoying
spectacle.                                  
                                          
     - Stop, stop!  - Pooh yelled furiously
banging the pipe on the table. - Where did you get it?
him?                                      
                                          
     - Who?AFD? - Eeyore asked philosophically
-ia, getting ready to roar.              
                                          
     - WhatAFD!Where are you Space eighth
took it?!                                    
                                          
     - At Piglet's, of course...              
                                          
 - How “of course”?! Where did he get it?- He said, you’ve already seen... And what do you
I promised to send him the sprites so that
the pig featured... Pooh - if you want-
Come on, I'll tell you that the sprites are there
second RESOURCE. A RESOURCE by 03Eh
dilated... ByXORen, in the sense... Here... And
sprites there at offset 047AEh... In general
Well, at the very beginning of the sprite there are: his
size, transparent color...                 
                                          
     But Vinnie no longer listened to the donkey. Throwing
receiver on the floor, he dialed on another TV
Piglet's number in the background.  The pig has a phone
was busy. Vinnie grabbed the keys from the table
"Mercedes" and rushed into the street. He took a long time
couldn't get the key into the keyhole
car, and then, changing lanes from a row of
yes in a row, almost moved the dump truck,
falling metal debris from the neighboring
car wash - the dump truck driver got off lightly
a heart attack and wet pants.        
                                          
     Vinnie drove up to Piglet's house,
the door of which was written "Do NotEnt...", and made a sharp turn, abandoned
having blocked Piglet's door with jumping out from under the
forest with dry leaves. To his deepest
Surprisingly, Piglet didn’t come out to meet him.
                                          
     “Did he take a piss there, or what?” - thought
Pooh, feeling slightly irritated. He kicked
door with his hind paw and went inside. Heel-
chuck, smoking a strong foreign cigar and
coughing slightly from the smoke, he sat importantly in
chair and lazily fumbled around the keyboard. Pooh
looked at the screen and his eyes went to
forehead: on the screen there was Turbo-Debugger.        
                                          
     - Hello, Piglet!  - Vinnie said
friendly.                               
                                          
     “Hello, Pooh,” said Piglet.
very important.  - Right now, wait, I’ll give you a couple
BreakPoint`I’ll put them on and talk about life
no,” and he nodded his head at the bottle
port wine on the coffee table.  - Here
here... - he said, running up to the selector
suspicious due to freezing CALL`y.  -
...and here, - and he cleverly bangs a couple of times -
zero hooves Ctrl-F8. - What are you breaking? - Pooh was surprised.  
                                          
     - Windows  fourth, - said Pyata-
chock, dumping the ashes on the one lying on the floor
ashtray-sculpture "Piglet is tearing apart"
mouth of the Tigers" given to the proud
little rose for SAVOY's birthday.           
                                          
     - So how? - asked Pooh.           
                                          
     - How... It sucks, brother... He's in
Protected Mode spars. Debugger as on non-
he's getting into trouble - that's it, count, press
Reset...                                  
                                          
     - Where did you get all this? -
asked Pooh.                      
                                          
     - Yes, so... With Eeyore all night yesterday
We were hanging out... Will you have some porta-potty?           
                                          
     Returning home, Vinnie hiccupped and,
staggering, he approached the table. Here he replaced
til that the handset of the phone on which he
talked to Eeyore, still lying on the floor and
a nasal crying voice is heard from there
Eeyore with frequentbreaks for deep fishing
Denmark: "That's how bullying this is
spectacle!"                                
                                          
     Pooh picked up the phone and said into it:    
                                          
     - Eeyore, I’m listening, I’m listening... Hello, you
called for something?                           
                                          
 - So the spectacle is devastating, -
said Eeyore, wiping away the apparently falling
large tears with a hoof.                    
                                          
     - You’d better open a pub... Or
BBS... I came up with a name for you... shi-
such a punishment... - Winnie the Pooh for a moment
thought about it. - "Osel House BBS".            
                                          
     - What a devastating sight this is!
- Eeyore did not let up, and from the tube he almost
tears began to fall.                           
                                          
     “Okay,” said Vinny, wiping
shoulder with a handkerchief. Donkey's tearfulness
was starting to make him angry.  - I'll come to you
sometime during the week. Maybe some thread
I’ll bring you a word-breaking spectacle.         
                                          
              Chapter Seven,              
                                          
          In which everyone is falling on          
 innocent Heffalump     
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh fell asleep withCrolick`s
Nightmare BBS,and discovered that he had received
private message from Christopher Robin. 
                                          
     “You haven’t written poetry for a long time,” -
wrote Christopher Robin.                    
                                          
     Vinnie scratched the back of his head with his paw and said,
hall FrontD`e, what he wants to answer.      
                                          
     “Chant,” Vinnie typed and thought:
Xia.  He thought for a long time - forty-three seconds.
Sly Rabbit thought that Winnie had gone easy
to kill my soul, and wanted to upload myList to him,
but Vinnie hit him on the paws, typing
“But, but, don’t spoil!” Finally Vinny had enough
think he pressed the "A" button, but didn't
let go, and began to hold, occasionally pressing
button "O". This is the letter that came out:
                                          
 "Chant.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 
                                          
     “That’s it,” thought Winnie the Pooh. - Plus
got it. Oh well. I am kinderato to this
I’ll force the Rabbit’s whole face with pluses, es-
if I see at least one plus..."              
                                          
     An inscription appeared that the Rabbit wants
do Chat.                              
                                          
     “#$%# to you,” Pooh typed, and Rabbit
I passed out in fear.                     
                                          
     He idly rummaged through Rabbit's file
new arias and messages, did not find anything for
interesting himself and made Logoff,leaving
Message to the rabbit that for each plus from
rips off his ear. WhenLogoffon the screen
a message crawled out that the Rabbit had opened
new BBS "Iron Ears".VinnyPooh was surprised
and dialed the specified number. It happened right there
connection.                               
                                          
     “Hello, everyone,” read the inscription on
screensaver depicting armored
ears, or elongated vertically
bra  - This is the new BBS Rabbit, ra-
working on his own system Front Morkovka
Door V1.0.The version is debug, so right now
You'll probably hang."                 
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh was even more surprised and pressed
the first key you come across.                
                                          
     "Right now I will display a list of our users-
teley, and you indicate who you are, - they said
la BBS. - Are you a Rabbit?                     
                                          
 Winnie the Pooh pressed "N".                 
                                          
     "Christopher Robin?" - asked BBS.   
                                          
     “N,” Pooh pressed.                    
                                          
     "Tiger?" - BBS did not let up.         
                                          
     “N!” - Pooh almost screamed."Piglet?" - demanded the BBS.          
                                          
     Pooh got angry and hit him with his left paw
on the "N" key.                           
                                          
     “Why aren’t you on the list?”, ask-
la BBS. Vinny pressed "Y" with relief.       
                                          
     "Then choose the first letter of your
name: Huh? "...                            
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh entered his name only before
letters "P". Then he got tired of it all and
entered BBS again. Under the name Piglet.
Piglet's password was the same everywhere: li-
either "ZHELUDD", or "HRUHRU". On"ZHELUDD"
Winnie the Pooh was not enough, but "HRUHRU"he
typed relatively quickly. BBS almost
sighed with relief and said:           
                                          
     "MAIN MENU".                         
                                          
     “Are we going to merge the files?”“N,” Vinnie replied.                
                                          
     “Should I fill it?” - showing hopefully
moose on the screen.                           
                                          
     “N,” Vinnie repeated.               
                                          
     "Message are we going to watch the aria?"       
                                          
     "N".                                 
                                          
     "Show me the statistics?"               
                                          
     "N".                                 
                                          
     “What, should I go out or something?”                 
                                          
     “Y,” Vinny typed with relief.   
                                          
     He should not leave a message for the sysop.
became.                                     
                                          
     "I should rip his ears off with his metal ear-  
", thought Winnie the Pooh about the Rabbit. -  
“What a mockery.”                   
                                          
     And he called Eeyore. Eeyore's phone
responded with a telefax crackle. Obviously
stupid donkey decided to please someone by
a heartbreaking sight. Winnie the Pooh spat inmonitor and immediately wiped it with his right paw.
He called himself from another phone
on, with AON`om, made sure that the number was not
recognized at all, and began to call over the hill,
to the neighboring Forest. There's nothing interesting there
was lying around. To warm up the modem, Vinnie downloaded
Turbo Pascal 7.21 Beta Release,and got into
refrigerator for ice - from excessive
Due to diligence, the modem became white-hot.          
                                          
     Meanwhile, Christopher Robin is not uni-
malya - searching for lost money is useless
They didn’t bring me.  After he's in private
ran around the whole forest in order, he became suspicious
to kill everyone, and Eeyore - in the greatest shame-
penalties.  Things started happening to Christopher Robin
do suspicious things: then unexpectedly
the printer became overexcited and started printing
payment order to Christopher Robin from
Christopher Robin, and his signature
Christopher Robin was made like this
Honestly, what if he attributed the payment
ki to the bank, and did not put it in a piece of paper-
car, they would certainly be used there
full.                                  
                                          
     Obviously, he was doing dirty tricks unknown to science
virus, but Christopher Robin himself is nothing
I couldn’t read, but I used antivirusprograms
I didn’t want to use it because I didn’t believe it
neither in them, nor in viruses. Infection meanwhile
was fruitful and multiplied - then suddenly when
while loading, an obscene message appeared on the screen
animated picture - Christopher Robin
riding on Kanga or SAVE, as appropriate
form, or when typing numbers wherever
the necessary numbers were not dialed, but instead
then they were substituted with the number Pi squared
or cube. Christopher Robin is serious about this
He got really tired and called Winnie the Pooh.
The bear cub had thirty-one telephones.
no, but the thirty-second did not answer for a long time,
until finally a drunk man came on the line
Pooh's voice: "Ale...".                     
                                          
     - Hello, Vinny! - said Christopher
Robin is happy. - Well, did you leak it?           
                                          
     “Leaked it,” said Winnie the Pooh detachedly.
- I’ll go now, add some more salt... Oh...           
                                          
     - No, Vinny, I’m saying Space
Quest VIII leaked?                          
                                          
     “Take it from Pyatak,” said Vinny.   
                                          
     - Which Pyatak? - Christo didn’t understand
Fer Robin.                                
                                          
     - At the boar'sthis... Which debug-
ger tra... I mean, it torments.              
                                          
     “Tell me, Vinny,” he began timidly.
Christopher Robin. - Only honestly!    
                                          
     - Yes I am! Yes to me! Yes I have! - heard-
moose on the other end of the line.             
                                          
 - Got it, got it, Vinnie, what am I saying?
ryu... Tell me honestly, Pooh, you're not
you know - completely, completely by accident! - who
took me forty million?                
                                          
     A hiss was heard at the other end:
Vinnie, in whose plush head there is anger
sawdust was tossing and turning, responsible for the co-
The news is that I didn’t feel very comfortable.  
                                          
     “Who knows...” said Vinny
finally.                                  
                                          
     -Who do you think I suspect-  
vayu?                                      
                                          
     -  Whom? - Vin asked suspiciously.
nor, starting to sober up.                     
                                          
     - Guess what.                   
                                          
     - A heffalump, maybe? - asked Vinny
with hope.Christopher Robin hesitated. Elephant
there was nothing more than a figment of his imagination,
but nevertheless with this fruit Christopher
Robin didn’t want to meet and didn’t want to meet
cal.                                      
                                          
     - Heffalump?  - asked Christopher
Robin is doubtful. He imagined how
a huge beast is typing a password on a huge
keyboard, as his washed ones are pumped
forty million and how the Heffalump destroys
bursts into eerie laughter, and Christopher Robin
frost went over my skin.                      
                                          
     “Or maybe a Heffalump,” said
he.                                       
                                          
     - Maybe, maybe, everything is possible! - said
happy Winnie the Pooh.  - Three days ago
you know how he cut all my wires...
tusk...                                 
                                          
     “Yes,” said Christopher Robin. - Yes-
Is it a Heffalump - the money has disappeared...      
                                          
     - Whose grandmother? - Vinnie was surprised.       
                                          
     - Yes, that’s the expression... Well, okay-
but... You call when you solve it Space Quest
VIII... Or he,you say at Piglet's?      
                                          
     “Well, yes,” said Vinny. - Okay,
come on, Hang-Up quickly, don't take-
niyu... - And he, joyfully rubbing his paws,
hung up the phone.                             
                                          
              Chapter Eight,              
                                          
   In which the Heffalump himself appears    
                                          
     Vinny calmly walked up to his mod-
mu and touched it with his paw. The modem was hot
like Winnie the Pooh after last year's chase
Bees.  Vinny went to the kitchen and wet it with water.
a towel and placed it on the modem.         
                                          
     - Cool down, cool down quickly! - asked
he's out loud.  - Borland C++ 7.82 pour into
until...                                     
                                          
     Despite persuasion, the modem is faster
didn't cool down. Winnie the Pooh went on again
kitchen and poured a bucket of water...               
                                          
     In the morning of the Tiger, going to his place on Lesnaya Te-
phone Station, noticed near Three Pines
very, verystrange traces - they were
it doesn't look like Winnie the Pooh's
this place the springs burst and the remaining
part of the way his Mercedes simply jumped
on the belly (like Kanga), not like Cro-
Lik was dragging a healthy bag of cabbage here. But
the cabbage was collected a long time ago, and then, the Rabbit
it was impossible to tear myself away from his BBS,and thus
more, send to agricultural
work.  The tiger looked at the tracks with a purr,
shrugged his striped shoulders and, wagging his tail,
went on.                        
                                          
     Near the Forest Telephone Station
he discovered an even stranger picture: in
thickets of bushes, which SAVA called
English lawn, was trampled by a huge
a very clearing, and non-
such thin trees. Tigger looked around
sides, rubbed his bristling mustache and
reached the door. There was some kind of sign hanging on the door.
squeak from SAVA. Tiger couldn't read, and
I didn’t bother to read this, so as not to stress
brainstorm and not spread it, as if
old times, rumors about Spotted Shasvir-
nousa.  He went inside, drank from the kettle
water and called Christopher Robin.        
                                          
     “Hello, hello, Tigger,” they said.
in the voice of Christopher Robin on the phone.       
- What am I doing, - Tigger, as always, immediately
got down to business. - Here is a note from SAVA
- Come, you need to read it.               
                                          
     - You can’t do it yourself? - they asked sarcastically
in the tube.                                 
                                          
     “I could also do it,” Tig answered proudly.
ra and bit off the phone hose. Bewitched by love
out of curiosity Christopher Robin came through
ten minutes.                             
                                          
     - What kind of note? - he asked with po-
horns: the door was open inward, and a note
couldn't be seen from the street, otherwise Tigger would recognize
her text would be the latest in the Forest.       
                                          
     “Yes, she’s a phot,” said Tigger with a
With your mouth, chewing the towel in a hurry:
the question is, what do tigers eat after all?
was not closed.                            
                                          
     - That's all? - asked disappointed
Christopher Robin reading the note.        
                                          
     - What's there? - politely asked -
Xia Tiger.                                 
                                          
     - And here it says “Read on the back.
SAVA".  A!  Read on the back! How can I
I didn’t realize it right away.The note was torn off and on the back was
read:                                
                                          
     "In deep connection with the short
finding something unknown to science and to me personally
I consider large animals in the Forest
duty to emigrate to the neighboring Forest, as
the first part of the Forest Intili... (long and
continued praise for SAVA and
culturally intelligent curses in
address of the above-mentioned beast).             
                                          
                        With respect, SAVA."
                                          
     - SAVA! Beast! Neighboring Forest! - shout out-
Tigger nodded like crazy and madly
swung his tail.                           
                                          
     - Tigger, who is she talking about?
s-b-beast?  - Christopher Robin was scared. C
a dull rumbling sound that seemed
published by the entire Forest, on Lesnaya Telefonnaya
An ominous shadow has descended on the station...       
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh just started downloading
libraries from Borland C++ 7.82, suddenly
the connection was interrupted, and the modem stated that
he doesn't want the quarry anymore.                
                                          
     - What are they doing there, are they crazy, or what? -Winnie the Pooh was surprised and picked up the phone. B
There was deathly silence on the phone. Winnie the Pooh
I was offended and pulled the wire, but the phone did not
spoke. All the other co-workers were also silent.
rock six lines.  Pooh was offended again and
went to see Kanga. Kanga and Little Roo are busy
We enjoyed playing a very interesting game,
in their opinion, a game: they competed to see who
marks more files in Norton in a second
du.  Kanga played along with Little Roo's math
Rina's love, he is with animal hatred
played with his mother with glee and gleefully
shaft when Kanga pressed instead of  
. About the existence of the key <+> family
the kangaroo guessed, but the meaning of this
did not give in to existence.               
                                          
     The doorbell rang. Kanga wiped her hands
about the apron and went to open it. On the threshold
for some reason Winnie the Pooh stood preoccupied
connectorDB25 type Female in the hands.        
                                          
     - Kanga, do you have condensed milk? - for-
he asked conversationally.                  
                                          
 -Of course there is, dear Pooh, but what happens?
happened?                                   
                                          
     “Nothing,” said Vinny. - It's just me
walked past and thought: is it by chance that
Kangi boxes of thirty-eight condensed milk?    
                                          
     -  Thirty eight? - Kanga thoughtfully
She took out a swollen barn book from her bag.
“Yes, there is, perhaps,” she said, generation-
having fun. - Why do you need it?                  
                                          
     “Yes, just like that,” said Winnie the Pooh.
- Listen, Kanga, is your phone working? 
                                          
     -  Telephone?  - Kanga was surprised. - Co-
definitely works... Ru, dear, Winnie the Pooh
you need to call!                           
                                          
     - I don’t need it! - Vin resisted
neither Pooh. - I just do.                   
                                          
 - Ru, honey, Vinny doesn’t need to call!
Just check your phone!                   
                                          
     “But it’s not plowing, bitch,” said the appearing
Little Roo standing in the doorway. - Deaf, as in
ass                                  
                                          
     “Ru, dear,” said Kanga sternly.
th.  - Remember what I told you about
bad words and grimaces? If you will
yesswear, then when you grow up, you will become
similar to Piglet or Rabbit. Do you want
to be so dystrophic? Do you want it, Ru, honey?
                                          
     “Fuck you,” said Ru in a low voice.
sa, hiding inside the house.                
                                          
     - He’s so obedient to me, - with re-
Kanga said with embezzlement. Pulled out of the house
the acrid smell of smoke from some trashy herb
ki: either hashish or marijuana.             
                                          
 “Nightmare,” thought Winnie the Pooh and
dragged on. - “I think so.”                 
                                          
     - Well, maybe I should go? - he asked
out loud for some reason it’s very pitiful.            
                                          
     “Go, Winnie,” Kanga allowed.
The door slammed shut.                       
                                          
     “Strange,” thought Winnie the Pooh. - "U
Kangi's phone doesn't work either. There's something here
not like that. This is not easy."                  
                                          
     He got into the Mercedes and drove away
Well, the Forest Telephone Station. At this time
at a completely different end of the Forest, Piglet was walking
for a walk. In his left hoof there was a pink
big balloon, almost transparent,
blown in the month before last by Vinnie Poo himself
home;  in the right - a hefty acorn (rotten)loy, though a little), which Piglet likes
bodies to give to the donkey Eeyore for throwing
idea about breaking the protection in the latter
version "Acorns without Problems", created
new division of the company  "Svinsky
Design" from Lesa Porosyupol.  Piglet by
pig mutual aid program received
demo version which acorns
only drew, and did not take into account, and he
I really wanted to break it.             
                                          
     Eeyore, as always, found the right one
decision, suggesting to Piglet that as a
password, the program should be given a number,
corresponding to the number of hooves
senka raised to the power of quantity
holes on its stigma, that is, 4 in the wall
penalties 2, or 16.                           
                                          
     Piglet slipped the program the indicated
value, and she earned it, after which Ea-
-ia announced that it was his birthday and
he needs to give gifts. Such messages
came from Eeyore every month, and the inhabitants
The forests gradually got used to them and stopped
pay attention to this situation...        
                                          
     However, I digress. In general, Piglet
calmly stomped through the forest, likesuddenly not-
unexpectedly and suddenly he noticed Og-
romnuyu Yama, which was not supposed to be there
moose  Piglet was very scared at first -
so much so that his ball popped out
him from a trembling hoof and flew into the depths
side blue sky.                         
                                          
     "Why am I? There's nothing to be afraid of here
(except only wolves - God forgive me!), -
thought Piglet.  - I'll just take a look. I
I won't touch anything..."                  
                                          
     Suddenly a huge dark shadow covered
pig on top, as if it had arrived in an instant
a night when I don’t recommend it for piglets at all -
you can hang around anywhere and it’s best to sit
at home and watch TV programs
chu "Good night, pigs".              
                                          
     - What is the best language in the world? -
they asked him from somewhere above in a creepy way
thunderous bass.                           
                                          
     - NOT PORK! Go-go-go-go-beef, -
declared the piglet, whose fear made him
all the clothes were wet, especially those shorter than the chubby one
belly.                                   
                                          
     “Stupid pig,” they said from above. -
I'm asking what is the best programming language?
roving?“As-as-as-as-as-assembler,” said
Piglet, trembling so that his rotten insides
the acorn's annoyances fluttered and made noises
stench.                                 
                                          
     “That’s understandable,” said the terrible go-
los.  - I’m asking about structural ones... WELL?
Speak quickly, otherwise I'll eat...               
                                          
     - Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa..., - out of fear...
The little rose could not utter a word. He
remembered (from Pooh's explanation) that the best
the language in the world is, of course, Pascal.      
                                          
     “I see,” they summed up from above. - Um-
new pig. Get lost. Wow, I love you all!
                                          
              Chapter Nine,              
                                          
       In which the Heffalump is threatened       
            Terrible Danger             
                                          
     Piglet didn't remember how he ran
through the Forest. He dared to stop and turn around.
only after running about a kilometer
two.  In the distance, in the early evening haze, honey
walked away lazily and majesticallysmooth elephants-
my back, reaching to the tops. Very high-
sap trees.                           
                                          
     “Heffalump!” flashed in the sweaty
neck Piglet's head. - “But why in our
Forests? They are not found here."             
                                          
     “Hey, pig,” they suddenly called
Piglet from somewhere on the side.                  
                                          
     Piglet turned around and saw the sanitary
car with a crookedly painted veterinary
cross.  He obediently approached her, although
out of fear, his hind hooves did not obey.
                                          
     -Have you seen a heffalump? - asked
Piglet.                                  
                                          
     “I haven’t seen it,” Pyata lied for some reason.
chock.  - Why do you need it? - he asked,
bursting with impudence.                         
                                          
     “There’s no damn need for him there,” he said.
poured out of the car.  - These animals are from the zoo
for some reason he disappeared.  The food was bad, or what?
This is our second week of fishing.                  
                                          
     Piglet became wary.                
                                          
     “Here in the neighboring Forest,” they continued.
from the car. - This bastard is a pigstytrampled.
And they say - the last words were spoken
especially ominous, as it seemed to the frightened
to the pig: - They say that all pigs
devoured her.                               
                                          
     - A-a-a-a... How are they now? -
asked Piglet, feeling his heartbeat
somewhere in the heels.                          
                                          
     - What is “how”?                         
                                          
     - I say, they are especially loud now
turnips?                                     
                                          
     “Especially,” confirmed the experts.
dispassionately.  - Especially at this time of year
Heffalumps are terribly ferocious. Some even
They're going crazy. From ferocity. Like this one
- he’s also kind of crazy. Wanders
through the forest, and everyone is afraid that he will eat if not
will press in Turbo Pascal. All Forests
trampled. Okay, pig, we need the Heffalump -
it's time to catch...                         
                                          
     - Will you catch it in the net? - interested-
Piglet poked his head in.                          
                                          
     - Why in the net... Rocket
"Forest-Forest" down the drain - and the skiff... Hunting, du-
You say we should take him back to the zoo...
                                          
     When leaving, the car picked upa bunch of dust and
last year's dry leaves. Clearing my throat
the pig looked after the retreating mother
tire and said with a tear in his voice:         
                                          
     - What an atrocity!                    
                                          
     For some reason he felt very sorry for Slo-
nopotama.                                 
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh sat in a soft plush
armchair in an embrace with a jar of honey. on his
there were clear traces of the specified product on the muzzle
and voluptuousness.                          
                                          
     “Hello, Pooh,” said Piglet.
sad.                                  
                                          
     “Hello, Piglet,” said Vinny.
Pooh, without being upset at all and not looking up from
jars of honey.                               
                                          
     “They’re catching a heffalump,” said the piglet.
nok, getting ready to cry.                  
                                          
     “Very good,” said Winnie the Pooh,
putting his paw into the jar. - Honey, that means it's...
more will be...                              
                                          
     - Vinnie! - said Piglet hysterically.
- His rocket! Down the drain! And this... how
him?.. And the skiff!“And that’s good too,” said Vinny.
satisfied. - So, Bees are bigger than me-
yes they will... Pre... hic!.. great...  
                                          
     - Don’t you feel sorry for him at all? -
asked Piglet.                          
                                          
     “Not a bit,” said Pooh cynically.
The honey ran out, and Pooh, hiccuping with dissatisfaction,
Well again, he wiped his paws on the back of the plush
armchairs.                                   
                                          
     “Yes, by the way, Piglet,” he said suddenly
Vinnie.  - I completely forgot to ask... Phone
does it work for you?                          
                                          
     - Oh, leave me alone! - said Pyata-
chok, and ran out of the house with terrible sobs -
niyami.                                    
                                          
     “It’s a fitful little pig,” said
Vinny picked up the phone. In the tube
there was silence, as before.                
                                          
     Piglet walked home, not making out the way
gi.  He felt terribly sorry for the Heffalump,
despite the fact that I still have to meet him
since Piglet didn't have the slightest desire.
Piglet was struck by Pooh's coldness towards
the idea of a beast that will be cradled in a crayfish-
down the drain.Piglet Piglet (what a pun,
huh?) was already wet and large things often fell from it
ny drops;   the piglet made a pitiful sound
sad grunts.                    
                                          
     Suddenly Piglet realized that he was deeply
deviated from the intended course. He replaced
til about two hundred meters, sticks and twigs,
from which, I remember, the house of Eeyore was created
and decided to visit the donkey and tell him
about your experiences.                     
                                          
     - Hello, Eeyore!  - said Piglet
sad, noticing a donkey not far from
a large bush of thorns.                   
                                          
     “Hello, Piglet Piglet,” said
Eeyore in a melancholy voice.              
                                          
     - Eeyore, the Heffalump is being caught!             
                                          
     - Heffalump?  - asked indifferently
Eeyore.                                    
                                          
     - Well, yes! And a rocket down the drain!        
                                          
     - Down the drain? - the donkey remembered not-
an old adventure with a tail that
he was torn off together, roughly speaking, in pieces
com asses aggressive Punks.“Or maybe,” he said after twenty-
momentary thought - and maybe that’s what
is there any homespun truth?                    
                                          
     The piglet burst into terrible sobs -
mi, from which Eeyore for some reason felt
peace of mind.                        
                                          
     - How evil and bad everyone is, oink-oink!
shi... oink-oink... in our Forest, - I thought
Piglet out loud, wiping away tears.             
                                          
     - Well, did you leave? - asked Christopher
Robin, carefully leaning out of the trash
box. Nobody answered him. Christopher Ro-
Bean cautiously crawled out of his hiding place, and
I saw the big eyes of the Tigers inside the style
ral machine (with transparent cover),
Tigre bought by SAVA for his birthday.
Christopher Robin opened the car, and Tigger,
sneezing, with growls he got out and began
shake off the washing powder.      
                                          
     - What a beast! - said Christopher
Robin.                                    
                                          
     - Who w-was that? - he asked stuttering
Tiger.   His tail trembled small and small
trembling.                                   
                                          
     - Heffalump, who else? - explained
ChristopherRobin, peeling off the one stuck to his hand
pale pink bubblegum on his head.              
                                          
     -What did he ask us extra for? -
Tigger asked.                            
                                          
     - Who knows... About the best language
asked.                                
                                          
     - Why did you tell him that the best-
shiy tongue-z-zyk - Si? - asked with suspicion
Tiger. - I heard everything...              
                                          
     - What other one?                    
                                          
     - Here I am for you!  - and the Tiger flew over
Christopher Robin's clawed paw.  But
scratching your beloved friend Tiger in the face is not
made up my mind.                                  
                                          
     Tigger didn't understand the language at all.
I don't know how to program, but I remembered quite a lot
distinctly delivered luxury to Winnie the Pooh
Finnish smuggled wallpaper depicting
beautiful flowers with some Finnish inscription,
about which Vinnie told everyone that there was
it says "Turbo Pascal is a thing."            
                                          
     - Let's call the mental hospital, what- 
... - Tigger suggested after ten minutes -
a lot of thought. - A heffalump seems to be...
sewn... - Well, why not - let's call... 
                                          
     Christopher Robin picked up the phone
and was about to dial the number.                 
                                          
     - Oh, damn, the phone doesn’t work, -
he said, hanging up.                
                                          
     - How does it not work? - Tigger rushed to
soldering cabinet.  “Oh, you bastard,” said
he appeared outside a minute later. - No
not a damn thing works... Everywhere there is not a phase, but a ground
la...                                     
                                          
     - How did you check the phase? - interested-
Christopher Robin poked his head in.                  
                                          
     - How, how... With teeth, how else? 
                                          
                  Epilogue                  
                                          
     The brave little pig was waiting in
A Very Cunning Ambush for about two hours, until
a cloud of dust appeared on the horizon and
There was a roar of the engine.                       
                                          
     “Here I am for you right now...” thought Piglet
and pressed the prepare to launch button
chum salmon He aimed the rocket at a cloud of dust and
pulled the trigger.“You will know,” he thought, “how
Offend heffalumps, flayers...".       
                                          
     As the dust cloud approached,
Piglet saw with horror that the Heffalump
drives an ambulance along the road in zigzags
well, pushing her with his trunk. Piglet
felt his stubble move
on the head, but the rocket does not have a turn button
was... The last thing the frightened man noticed
pig - huge ones flying over him
tusks.                                    
                                          
 Piglet, sobbing, stood on a hill near
armored personnel carrier, next to a huge smoke-
a falling hole. Near the pit there was charred wood
tree, on which hung large shreds of
ambulance sewing. On armored vehicles
it was written crookedly "I LOVE BORLAND &
ZHELUDDI".                                
                                          
     The forest was sleeping.                            
                                          
     Winnie the Pooh downloaded from a nearby forest
new communication program with awesome
the most detailed exchange protocol; Tiger in a dream
growled and twitched his paw: he dreamed of how he
playsOutRun,and chases after himElephant
there; Christopher Robin dreamed about Slopo-
there he chases him and sprinkles the pack on top
kami banknotes.                             
                                          
     And the Heffalump itself has just landed
poured in the neighboring Forest, and he dreamed of how
all the inhabitants of all the forests became good
(and they began to write only in Pascal).       
                                          
     The clouds have just cleared, and over
the round moon appeared in the night forest,
similar to a hole in a five-inch disk, if
look at it in the light of the lamp...