White Parrot - Agent 008.

 THE COLLAPSE OF AGENT 008         
       Second edition, revised        
           and edited            
                                          
-= BenSoft =-                   
------------------------------------------
 Prologue                  
                                          
   In the office of the chief of the Russian department of one
there was an emergency response from foreign intelligence services
broadcasting. At the head of a table covered in green
cloth, the boss himself, a stocky man, sat
wearing specially shaped dark glasses,
three-quarters of the face. The boss strictly
complied with the rules of secrecy and demanded
the same from their employees. Genuine
None of his subordinates knew his last name.
Some called him "Mr. Cox", others -
"Mr. Badley", others - "Mr. Sidorov".
He responded to any name.           
                                          
   The chief carefully examined his four
the closest assistants who were in the cabin
nope, and was pleased with their appearance:
banal,unmemorable faces; empty,
ordinary look, identical shabby
costumes.  You will see such people - and immediately
you'll forget. Even the boss himself often could not discern
know them by meeting them by chance on the street or at
mutual friends.                           
                                          
   - Which of you are the best specialists in
Russia, can answer what it means
Russian word "Belsk"? - asked the boss.    
                                          
   The employees thought about it. The word was not
nakomoe.                                  
                                          
   - The man who whitewashes the walls? - pre-
put Mr. Flint, the deputy chief.  
                                          
   - The squirrel's husband? - Wagner guessed.
                                          
   - No, this is a sports society - age-
zil Polonsky.                            
                                          
   - What do you say? - the boss turned to
Gene Brandy, who was considered in the department
an expert on the Russian soul.                    
                                          
   Brandy rubbed his temples.                    
                                          
   - I think that Belsk is some kind of...
be a common abbreviation, they have
Russians are in use.  Well, for example, it could
means "white vodka with a red head."“M-yes,” the boss pursed his lips, “you’re amazing.”
knowledgeable people.  Belsk is
they have an industrial city there, behind the iron
curtain And in this Belsk there is the so-called
plant N7, whose products are us
very interested. There's a group there now
engineers are working on very important
invention.  According to our information, the work
is nearing its end.  Must be sent to
Belsk our man, who would or
got the drawings, or kidnapped the manager
works  In addition, the plant needs to be
deadline to put out of action. Considering
the importance of the task, maybe one of
will it take you, gentlemen?  What do you say?
Flint.                                    
                                          
   “You know, boss,” he spread his hands behind-
revenge - I recently had my appendix cut out -
cit. I just can't get this main information...
wife. My stitches are coming apart...          
                                          
   - And you, Polonsky?                     
                                          
   “I have sclerosis,” he objected hotly.
that one - I won’t remember a single turnout.         
                                          
   “And my aunt died,” he said sadly.
Wagner shook his head. If you want, I can
submit a certificate.                      
                                          
 Then there is no need to go to work! - angry
said the boss. “Take a day off!” Well, you, Bren-
Di, don’t you want to distinguish yourself? If successful
As a result, you will receive a promotion and a check for
one hundred thousand.                                
                                          
   “It’s my pleasure,” said Bren.
di.- But you know my weakness. I
I can drink too much and fail the whole operation -
tion.  No, we need a strong man here.
in all respects.  Such, for example, as
James Bond...                            
                                          
   “James Bond?” he asked thoughtfully.
Chief - Agent 008? Well... This is a man
for whom nothing is impossible.            
                                          
   “But he’s on vacation now,” he noted.
Flint. - After that brilliant business in La.
teenage America when he organized
eleven coups in seven countries,
he was given three months leave.      
                                          
   “Nothing, we’ll call you back,” the boss narrowed his eyes.
He's probably already spent all his vacation money and
I'm not averse to making good money again. And for this
the operation he will receive so much that he will praise
tit for life...                       
                                          
   - 008 is an excellent candidate, - s
Polonsky enthusiastically supported.- Man
without nerves,hardy, like a loader, finding
chiv, like an entertainer. And the memory is excellent.  
                                          
   “And excellent health,” he added.
Flint. - We couldn't find a better performer.
Iron character, steel will, golden
teeth. You can hide microfilm in them.    
                                          
   - Speaks eight languages, is mute like a fish-
Bah,” added his voice to the general chorus
Wagner.- I don’t remember a single case with
which he could not cope with.  Remember him
penultimate operation? transfer on yourself
across the border two-pedestal written
a table full of secret documents! On
Not everyone can do this.                   
                                          
   “It’s decided!” the boss hit the hundred with his fist.
lu.- So that tomorrow 008 comes to me for
receiving instructions. Responsible for equipment
you expect, Flint. Equipment, weapons, appa-
rature - everything should be at the level of the last
them with technological advances. Try sub-
give him some junk from the warehouse -
I'll take off my head!                             
                                          
   The boss looked at his watch.                  
                                          
   - Wow, we stayed too long! Please leave. Before
tomorrow, gentlemen...                        
                                          
                 CHAPTER1                  
                                          
                Agent 008                 
                                          
 The ventilation in the carriage did not work. Window
didn't open. Most of all from this country
gave the tall elegant citizen of
the seventh compartment, going to Belsk. Out of pocket
there was a snow-white scarf sticking out of his jacket, but
the citizen stubbornly refused to use it.
First he wiped his sweaty face with his hand,
on which the “Vasya” tattoo was visible. But
the sweat was so acrid that the letter "B" soon
dissolved. The citizen looked in surprise
on the remaining three letters and slowly turn out
said not our way: “Still, this scoundrel
Flint slipped me old mascara!" Passenger
pulled on gloves to save the leftovers
tattoos, and began to wipe himself with his sleeve. 
                                          
   By evening the jacket had acquired such a look that
got hooked on the way at some stop
the old lady asked:                
                                          
   - Are you going for mushrooms, dear? al na zara-
boots?                                    
                                          
   - To earn money, grandma, - in the purest sense
J. Bond answered in Russian and greeted
he bared his gold teeth in a smile. He doesn'tonly spoke without an accent, but depending
depending on the circumstances, he knew how to speak Vologda
okat and okak in Moscow style.               
                                          
   It became completely dark outside the window. Bond took
the conductor has a bed, asked to wake him up
him when the train approaches
Belsk, and instantly, without dreams,
zero.                                      
                                          
   He woke up from someone shaking
him by the shoulder. At first he thought that they had come
pick him up. But the iron nerves will not tremble -
whether.  He carefully stuck out from under the blanket
trained heel and lightning fast
with a heavy blow he knocked it out of the conductor's hands
glass of hot tea. The boiling water burned him
leg and returned to reality.         
                                          
   “I’m sorry,” he smiled charmingly.
he. - Tormented by damned cramps.         
                                          
   - Seizure, or what? - condolentically
asked the conductor.                      
                                          
   “Just from the hospital,” he confirmed.
Bond.- I was treated for three months, and all without success-
ku.                                       
                                          
   “It happens,” the conductor consoled him. “Well.”
okay, get ready, now is your stop -
ka...Agent 008 went down to the platform, entered
station building and, sitting on a bench,
began to wait for the morning. In order not to waste time
for nothing, James Bond began to study
the table of ticket prices hanging above him
Comrade  The table listed many
double-digit amounts, and just below is written
the ink ad seemed to sum it up
this digital statement: "Nothing
costs us as little as politeness...  
                                          
   A prudent Bond for every occasion
tea learned the table along with the ad and,
feeling hungry, I bought high-calorie food from the buffet
bun. The golden teeth creaked as they met
in the face of a worthy confectionery product
enemy. Foreign gold is slightly softened
failed, but passed the test. Barmaid
looked at James with respect and
I put some cake on him. Bond is internally tense
lived and, not wanting to risk it again
precious metal, powerful gums
crushed the cake.                         
                                          
   The disgraced barmaid disappeared into the basement.
private room, and the one who felt the powerful
lack of self-confidence agent 008
I put my things in the storage room and with the little one
with a suitcase in his hands he went out to the vaccination
hall area.  Looking around, he saw
onkiosk on the opposite side of the square
“Juice and water” and smiled imperceptibly into his sleeve.
Everything went according to plan, carefully thought out
the chief and his assistants. Here at the kiosk,
exactly nine o'clock twenty-three minutes
A messenger will be waiting for James Bond. Agent
008 should come to the kiosk, drink three
glasses of water, cough twice and
rub with a snow-white handkerchief. This
will serve as a conditioned signal for the messenger,
who will approach Bond and ask:    
                                          
   - You don’t know where you can buy juice
mango?                                    
                                          
   The answer to the password is:                 
                                          
   - No, I don’t know, but I can give in to you
turn to Polish cuisine.           
                                          
   Agent 008 repeated these thoughts to himself once again
words and looked at his watch. See you later
it took five minutes. He removed a speck of dust from the crushed
that jacket and leisurely walked towards
kiosk.  His heart beat calmly, his pulse
excellent filling, beat evenly
sixty beats per minute, all other or-
the gans also worked as if nothing had happened.
It was a seasoned wolf, an inveterate spy and
a hardened saboteur.  He never lost
began to have doubts and was always confident in the
pehe. He knew no failures.James Bond is outwardly pleasant, but in reality
actually cynical and self-confident gait
approached the kiosk, stroked it with his tongue
slightly ruffled gums after the cake and
looked up.  To the closed kiosk window
a piece of paper was attached at an angle with a wide
with that inscription: “Went to base.”             
                                          
   Bond turned his two hands over in confusion.
zealous, unexpectedly for himself,
he leaned his back against the corner of the kiosk and went
to a reserve location.                         
                                          
                CHAPTER 2                  
                                          
            Attendance not detected            
                                          
   Tall elegant man in a jacket with
with his sleeves rolled up, he stepped off the tram onto
quiet Cooperative Street and stopped at
perplexed. Anyone who has been to Mars, easily
can imagine what is revealed to the eye
men landscape. Mountains of earth stood up all around
and construction waste, separated from each other
friend deep ditches; here and there, words-
but the cooled meteorites lay topsy-turvy
cobblestones from the pavement, and in disarray
the scattered pipes resembled the trunks of a hy-
Gantianprehistoric trees.         
                                          
   A man with his sleeves rolled up easily
like a real athlete, he jumped over one
swept two ditches and landed in the third. Wese-
This did not change James Bond here either. B
ditch, the owner of which he turned out to be, si-
two boys squatted and, hiding
hiding away from the entire street, they smoked.            
                                          
   - How are you guys? - conspiratorially
the spy winked and handed them a pack of "White"
pestilence." - Help yourself... By the way, you don’t know
where is house number thirty-four?        
                                          
   “Ho,” said the older boy, taking
cigarette - it was broken two months ago -
whether.                                       
                                          
   - How did you break it? When?                  
                                          
   - And exactly after the gas is supplied
whether. In April, not in May.                
                                          
   - Where did the tenants move? I'm a nephew
theirs, I came to visit...               
                                          
   - Wait, uncle, I’m going home now -
I'm sure I'll find out.  When they moved, everyone
They left their address with their neighbors. In case
they say if anyone asks.Five minutes later the boy extended his di-
Versant a piece of paper.                   
                                          
   - Here...Perefulnecheniya Street, building 14,
building 8, apt. 272. Take bus 7, and then
on foot...                                 
                                          
   Bond thanked him and left the guys a pack of
bought a cigarette and got out of the ditch, along the way
tearing his pants on a rusty wire.          
                                          
   Half an hour later he was already getting out of the bus.
sa on Overfulfillment Street. There are heights around
there were five-story buildings, each of them
it was similar to the one next to it, like one golden
a tooth in Bond's mouth to another. The spy has a slight
I felt dizzy.                    
                                          
   On the wall of the nearest house there was a large
the number 10 is written out.                        
                                          
   “Yeah,” the spy said to himself in a foreign language.
Well, it's somewhere nearby. Now it will be 12
and then 14.                               
                                          
   He walked to the next building and stayed
new. Number 22 hung here.            
                                          
   James Bond sniffled and walked away
further.  The neighboring house was numbered
7. For the first time in twenty years, an agent
008 startedbe nervous.  Woman with ho-
shopping bag to which he turned -
Xia, made a vague gesture with her hand.    
                                          
   - House 14 is somewhere in there, in the depths
quarter...                               
                                          
 The saboteur turned off the street and went deeper into
labyrinth of twin buildings. Before his eyes
behind them, like mileposts, numbers flashed
ra: 19...43...4A...28...                  
                                          
   At spy school he was taught how to solve...
create any cipher, find the key to any
digital combination. But with such a cunning
James Bond has never encountered a new riddle -
Xia.  Having gone through in his memory everything known to him
digital cipher systems and without achieving a
As a result, agent 008 chose a corner
her, quietly looked around and you-
nul from a suitcase old, yellowed
cucumber  The spy bit him and pulled him out
in the middle there is a city plan hidden there. This one
the hiding place was the boss's personal invention. B
in case of danger, cucumber along with the plan
had to be eaten.  Bond studied the minutes plan
ten, then clicked it back. On
In the street plan there was no over-fulfillment at all.
This place was marked as a vacant lot. Bezre-
resultantly wandering around the courtyards for another hour
two, always self-possessed and calm James
Bond went crazy.  On a nervousthe reason he started
confuse Russian words and, stutteringly, turned
to some grandfather with a trash can in
hands:                                    
                                          
   - Mom, where is house 14?                  
                                          
   The old man looked at the strange man in surprise.
interlocutor.   In front of him stood an intelligent
a genteel man in torn trousers and a white
a delicate handkerchief in your pocket.               
                                          
   - Damn grandmother is your mother, - offended -
but the grandfather said, “You’re wearing a hat, but you’re being a hooligan.”    
                                          
   The spy pulled himself together with the last of his strength.
ki.                                       
                                          
   - Forgive me generously! Poor vision
I forgot my glasses at home. I came, you know, to
guests, but I can’t find the house... I’m out
Wait, I see you're a local...             
                                          
   “What’s the use!” the old man waved his hand.
I moved here two days ago. Only for trash
I know the way to the box, and to the tram
stop.  Wait, wait, what the hell are you
are you stealing, house? 14?..It seems like I’m like this somewhere...
business... That's it, go straight, you'll pass the construction
Okay, turn right and diagonally...      
                                          
   “Diagonally,” agent 008 repeated.“Eh,” the grandfather shook his head, “you won’t find it.”
because you yourself! Everything is so confused here, so
vinaigrette!.. Okay,” he waved his hand. “Sing-
dem - I'll see you off...                          
                                          
   They passed the construction site, turned right,
then left and went to house N41.          
                                          
   - Look, what parsley! - discouraged
said the grandfather. “Come on, let’s walk a little.”
further...                                 
                                          
   They walked further and came across a house
N2.                                       
                                          
   “Sorry, comrade,” said the grandfather. “I have
cabbage soup is on the stove. I need to go home.        
                                          
   They turned back, but soon stayed
new. The road was blocked by a plank fence.
                                          
   “Where does this fence come from?” asked in bewilderment.
strength grandfather. - When we went there, he was not there. 
                                          
   “I don’t know, dad,” the spy snapped.
I'm not from here.                             
                                          
   They crawled through a hole, passed two more
home and went to the transformer booth.    
                                          
   “Sabbath, we got lost,” the old man sighed,
turned the bucket over and sat down. - And all because of you.
Various people walk around here, asking... How am I?
Now can I find my home?!                   
                                          
   He rested his cheek on his hand and, unexpectedly,
Changing his tone, he ingratiatingly asked:        
                                          
   - Don’t leave me... We’ll be together
get out.  You are now responsible for me -
new...                                    
                                          
   It was getting dark. They've been gone for another forty minutes.
walked around the yards, trying to find out the way
passers-by, but in vain.  Everyone only knew
his home and was afraid to move further from it,
than thirty steps. Finally tired and
hungry fellow sufferers came out again
to the booth and leaned against it in exhaustion
wall.                                    
                                          
   “Sit down,” the grandfather generously allowed and,
moving over, he gave Bond the edge of the trash
nogo bucket.- What is there to consider, now we have
We have everything in common...                          
                                          
   The old man took a piece of lard from his pocket,
wiped it on his pants and, having bitten off half, extended
gave the rest to the spy. The usually squeamish Bond
I cleaned the stuck crumbs from the lard with my fingernail and
greedily pounced on his portion. By destroying
her, he got up from the bucket, walked around the corner,
so as not to share with my grandfathertheir own
new reserves, took a spy card out of his pocket
cucumber and gobbled it up along with the city plan
yes.                                       
                                          
   When he returned to his unlucky
to the guide, he stood on an inverted
bucket and, like a sniffer dog, led the but-
catfish from side to side.                 
                                          
   “It smells like burnt cabbage soup,” said the grandfather, “
these are mine... Come on, follow me. He walked
galloped forward, holding his nose high and sniffing
sitting, and Bond with a dented bucket sat down next to
him in his wake. They went to see a friend
fence with a hole, crawled through it, went around
construction...                                
                                          
   “Shout “hurray”!” the grandfather exclaimed joyfully
and clapped James on the shoulder with a flourish. “Here.”
my home! Now I won't let you go anywhere. But-
You’ll stay with me to eat. You don't care
Can't get out of here today...            
                                          
   The exhausted agent 008 did not resist. 
                                          
   - Now you and I are kind of related -
said the old man excitedly, fussing
in the kitchen. - What’s your name?             
                                          
   - Vasily Petrovich Shchukin, - memorized
the agent introduced himself. - Born in 1929 in
worker's family.Secondary education. Ho-
lost...                                   
                                          
 - We’re getting married, - the owner interrupted him, - to this
don't worry about the score. I have a whole bunch of nieces
a bunch...                                   
                                          
   The grandfather placed a frying pan with
steaming scrambled eggs and, looking at him friendly
into the mouth, continued:                         
                                          
   - My name is Uncle Misha. Yes you eat
eat, don't be shy. As they say, food is not
Trouble, it would have been better.                        
                                          
   Having eaten, the newly-minted Shchukin cheered up. 
                                          
   “What if I recruit this old man?”
thought the ungrateful spy. - Apartment
not bad: balcony, sunny side. Posse-
I'm here, then I can change
for a two-room apartment."                        
                                          
   Bond-Schukin liked this idea
and when they went to bed, he decided to call
grandfather for a frank conversation.             
                                          
   - Uncle Misha, where do you work? - slyly
he began from afar, as he was taught in spy
onskaya school.                             
                                          
   “Me?” he responded withowner's folding beds
in.- Oh, brother, my job is such that I can’t
accessible to everyone.  Because he is responsible
The problem is very great. A little bit wrong - and
no person...                           
                                          
   The saboteur lost his breath, and so as not to
to betray his joy, he covered himself with a
howl with a blanket. After some time, calmed down
repenting, Shchukin stuck his head out again.     
                                          
   - Tell me, Uncle Misha, I’m listening. Yes
Who do you say you work for?              
                                          
   - Chef in dining room number 3, - city-
before the owner said. Do you know what kind of work it is?
that?  You can’t put just anyone here! U
how are we?  I almost pleased the client - he already
won't come to you anymore. You will lose a client
ta!  And he will go, for example, to the dining room
"Arctic".  And there’s the surroundings: everything is as in
North Pole. It's cold as hell, waitresses
They wear boots. And they feed only canned food.
So how can I give the eater the opportunity
defect? Never mind! I know a lot
Many people underestimate our profession. But only
nowhere without her!  Food, brother, is great
business!                                     
                                          
   Shchukin nodded and wanted to change the conversation
on various spy topics, but Uncle Misha didn’t
I let him get some words in.- No, don't argue. Everything depends on food -
Xia. Take children's fairy tales. What's there on
Is everything built?   Somebody somebody
wants to eat. Wolf - Little Red Riding Hood, fox
- rooster, grandfather and woman - porridge with milk. A
already behind a turnip or a kolobok just dr-
Okay, there's a line forming...              
                                          
   “Yes, I also have a good profession,”
taking advantage of the pause, he went into the open
spy. - And the money is not bad, and...           
                                          
   “Money doesn’t buy happiness,” interrupted the old man.
Rick.- The main thing is that people are your occupation
respected.  For example, are you going to
theater So even if you wear felt boots, it’s all the same
they will let you in.  And to the restaurant - no, no! Restaurant to
demands respect...                  
                                          
   Shchukin tried several more times to take
word, but finally despaired, turned to
wall and started snoring.                         
                                          
   “Are you sleeping?” Uncle asked offendedly.
Misha.- Wait, I haven’t told you yet,
How are pork chops made...             
                                          
 At half past two in the morning the saboteur was able to
flowed:                                    
                                          
   - Okay, Uncle Misha, let's go to sleep.In the morning
Let's talk.                                
                                          
   “What a sleepyhead you are,” the owner became angry. “High-
drink more, you'll have time. Perhaps tomorrow will be resurrection
Senier.  You better listen, how with flour
fight like a worm...                        
                                          
   Shchukin hid his head under the pillow, but
This sound insulation turned out to be rather weak.   
                                          
   “Should I kill him, or what?!” - almost crying
thought the spy. I’ll sneak up and scratch the poison-
with a lazy fingernail - and that’s the end!.. No, you can’t, -
agent 008's heightened memory suggested.-
The old man said that he had many nieces
th.  That means they'll grab it quickly. They will start using
they'll attack the trail.  And here somewhere
safe house nearby..."             
                                          
   At four o'clock in the morning James Bond
survived.  Rubbing red from forced
sleepless eyes, he got up, got dressed and went
to the door.                                  
                                          
   “Where are you going?” asked the owner, interrupting
a story about the grade of beef.             
                                          
   “Out of necessity,” muttered the guest, and slipped out
out of the apartment and started to run.            
                                          
                CHAPTER 3James Bond is captured.       
                                          
   The next morning at exactly 9.23 Vasily
Petrovich Shchukin approached the "Juice-in" kiosk
dy" on the station square. Yesterday's
there was no paper. She was replaced by another: “Ki-
osk is closed.  The seller's husband is sick." Shchukin
blew his nose noisily into the snow-white nasal
handkerchief, carelessly put it in his back pocket
trousers and drove back to Perevypol street
opinions. This time he was luckier. Che-
in about an hour and a half he saw
in front of you is a half-meter number 14, carefully
clearly written in white paint on the wall
another five-story building.  Spy
I repeated the password to myself again and found it.
apartment 272 and gave one short and two
long calls. A sleepy man appeared on the threshold
a handsome man wrapped in a woman's sundress.
                                          
   - I’m from Ernst Eduardovich. door for you
no upholstery required? significantly productive
carried by Shchukin.                                
                                          
   “My dear!” the husband burst into a smile.
rank. - Of course it is required! Wow, which one?
good luck!  I've been looking for a master for two months, but he himself
appeared!                                   
                                          
   Mangrabbed a saboteur in a sundress
by the sleeve and dragged me into the apartment. Shchukin nah-
frowned.  He expected to hear from the owner
completely different words.                      
                                          
   “What, he forgot the review, or what?” - ensured
the spy thought carefully and just in case
repeated:                                 
                                          
   - I’m from Ernst Eduardovich...           
                                          
   “God bless him,” the man waved him off,
changing clothes. - We’ll agree without him -
Xia...                                     
                                          
   - What, isn’t this house 14, building 8? -
asked Shchukin, nothing but twitching
cheeks, without betraying your excitement.         
                                          
   - No, the man smiled cheerfully -
on.- This is house 8, building 14.                
                                          
   “Sorry,” Vasily Petro said dryly.
vich and turned to leave.             
                                          
   But in two leaps the man found himself at the two-
ri and blocked his way.                
                                          
   - I won’t let you in! I've been waiting for so long! you
must meet me halfway. I'm good at
I'm lacing.- Contact the household service center
life,” Shchukin noted irritably.      
                                          
   - I did! They promise to send special
cialist in only three months. But I don't
I can wait so long.  My wife and I are on vacation
We're leaving.                                  
                                          
   “I can’t help you,” he shook his head.
head spy. - Let me in, I'm in a hurry.         
                                          
   But the man grabbed the door even tighter.
no jamb.                                
                                          
   - No! No! No way! If you leave
I, ...I myself will come to this house of yours on the 14th and...
I'm talking to the people you're referring to
you cry.  They must understand that this is for me
very necessary. Let them wait a little. 
                                          
   The saboteur began to threateningly advance on
owner of the apartment.                         
                                          
   -  What?  - What you heard! I... I,
Finally, I will declare where it should be! Why alone
can you do a favor but not others?   
                                          
   Vasily Petrovich powerlessly lowered his hand
ki.  The only thing missing was the appearance
found out where to go!                       
                                          
   - But... I havethere is no material, - reconcile -
the spy said earnestly.                      
                                          
   “Don’t worry about it,” he said gladly.
man. - I have my own material.           
                                          
   - And I didn’t grab the tool, - fallen
Shchukin said in a voice.                   
                                          
   “We’ll find it,” the owner of the uninhabited console consoled him.
doors.- I prepared everything a long time ago.       
                                          
   Agent 008 hiccupped pitifully, took off his jacket and
got to work. At the spy school
We weren’t taught how to open doors, so we’re moving things forward.
the moose is not very argumentative. He only managed to
in the evening.                                   
                                          
   “I’m very grateful to you,” he fussed.
there's a happy owner around him. - Here's to you
works.  Now let me introduce you
with my neighbor... Sergei Moiseevich, go
here, don't be shy. Here is the master about whom-
rum I told you: imagine, I was looking for
house 14 building 8, but came to us. Barely criminal
ril him.                                  
                                          
   “Hello,” the neighbor bowed. “I
I would like to cycle the floors...           
                                          
   “Are you crazy?” he said indignantly.
Shchukin.- I don’t do this!“Well, I ask you,” he put his hand to
breasts Sergei Moiseevich.                   
                                          
   - Don’t ask, I won’t anyway!     
                                          
   - Do you think in house 14 you have more spare-
“Do they pay more?” the co-worker asked sincerely
sed. - So you are mistaken.                  
                                          
   “I don’t think anything,” he became furious.
a white-hot spy.-
Leave me alone!  Why are you mocking the worker?
human!                                
                                          
   - By the way, I can also tell you
where should you talk about your left earnings, -
Ser-, informed by his neighbor, threatened
gay Moiseevich.                            
                                          
   “They’ll fail to show up, bloodsuckers!” - in despair -
James Bond thought and said wearily:  
                                          
   - Do you have a tool?..                
                                          
   ...Shchukin was not allowed out of the house for a week.
Fearing failure, he meekly cycled
floors for residents, cut locks, drilled holes
in the walls.  But every time between nine and
at ten o'clock in the morning the spy was organizing a re-
jerk and drove to the station kiosk. And every
the last time I met something new thereannouncement. Co-
the mouthy and official “Accounting”, reproachful,
suggestive of unwashed hands and
microbes nesting in them "Sanitary
day", the familiar "I'll be there soon", self-confidence
arrogant and arrogant "Closed".          
                                          
 Vasily Petrovich shook his head offendedly
howl, took away the soul of a merchant nearby
ice cream lady and dragged himself back to his place.
Agent 008 turned out to be a capable worker, and
the residents of the fourteenth building have it
enjoyed no less respect,
than their bosses there, behind the cordon. Residents
trusted him with any work and knew that he
won't let you down. But when one day some mo-
a young woman, who was leaving on a visit, instructed
Shchukin to sit with her young child and
threatened that otherwise she would report
where to go, the iron nerves of James Bond
couldn't stand it.                             
                                          
  - Fuck this turnout to hell -
ri! - he said to himself in good literature -
in the Russian language, picked up by the inseparable
suitcase and started running as fast as he could,
to never return to
Overfulfillment street.                     
                                          
 ...Having reached the opposite end
city, the saboteur stopped to transfer
lead the spirit, and sat down on a bench. Tocalm down
to wake up and come to his senses, he began to change
read your hard earned money
money - and gasped. It turned out that he was not
good earnings in the fourteenth building
almost three times the monthly salary
saboteur of the highest category.              
                                          
   “Shouldn’t I quit?” thought Shchukin,
but quickly drove this thought away from himself, hiding
collected money to transfer upon return
them to the Swiss bank, and again started
fulfilling his spy duties...
                                          
                 CHAPTER 4.                 
                                          
         Shchukin corrects the password.         
                                          
   Even from a distance, Vasily Petrovich saw that
The "Juice and Water" kiosk is open.  Shchukin came up
took a closer look and looked around. There were no buyers
but ten steps from the kiosk stood a thin man,
poorly shaven man in a gray hat. hand
he kept it in his bosom, as agreed
but...                                       
                                          
   Vasily Petrovich adjusted the bow
current, with an indifferent look, approached
window and said affably:               
                                          
   - Aunt,I'm thirsty - I'm dying! Pour some
I'll have three glasses of soda...              
                                          
   “There’s no soda,” the saleswoman yawned. 
                                          
   - Then lemonade...                    
                                          
   “Even more so!” the saleswoman waved it off.  
                                          
   - What about mineral? Borjom, Narzan?       
                                          
   “What?” the saleswoman was surprised. “What?”
is there a pharmacy here, or what?                    
                                          
   “Okay,” agreed Shchukin, “pour it.”
beer.                                     
                                          
   The saleswoman began to lose her temper:    
                                          
   - Did you come from America?          
                                          
   James Bond turned so pale that he
the old teeth began to appear silver.
“Damn it, they tracked me down!” flashed
thought: Is this saleswoman from the KGB? On-
to run!"                               
                                          
   But the saleswoman couldn’t calm down...
to happen.                                    
                                          
   - Beer for him! Have you seen it? Yes, I'll have a beer in the village
The last time they brought it was the year before last! and
that's allten boxes...                 
                                          
 - Okay, sister, don’t be offended, - with ob-
the agent said with relief. “I don’t care.”
beer! What do you have there?..          
                                          
   “I should have said so right away,” said the pro-
the waitress and put a bottle in front of the spy
vodka. - Should you weigh the herring?                 
                                          
   “Hm,” Vasily Petrovich was slightly taken aback, “
Is there anything weaker?                    
                                          
   “Only vinegar essence,” she muttered.
saleswoman weighing a rusty herring with
someone's tail stuck to her
vol.                                      
                                          
   “Give me a glass,” Vasily nodded.
Petrovich to the saleswoman.                      
                                          
   - We don’t release it into the spill...             
                                          
   Shchukin sighed and took it out of his suitcase.
portable spy glass with double
bottom and glanced sideways at the man in the hat. Their
eyes met. The man looks at
hall to Vasily Petrovich so that he could come in for
angle.                                     
                                          
   “He’s in too much of a hurry,” Shchukin frowned.
Maybe a provocateur?He put the bottle in his pocket and squeezed it in his hand
ballpoint pen loaded with chicken poison
re. It was enough to write with such a fountain pen
write two or three words on a person, as he
in terrible torment he began to convulsively
sit down.  Vasily Petrovich unscrewed the handle
cap and slowly approached the man.
                                          
   "If he tells me the password before I
I’ll drink three glasses and write all over his face,”
The saboteur decided cynically.                  
                                          
   The man was getting closer and closer...
There were five meters between them... four-
re... three... They looked without stopping
at each other. The man moved closer
nuh, took his hand out from his bosom and hoarsely
asked:                                  
                                          
   - Will you be third?                      
                                          
   James Bond squeezed the fountain pen in his hands so
that he almost wrote on his own finger, and
turned away arrogantly. He approached again
kiosk and slowly, observing the rules of
good tone, intelligently drank three hundred
can of vodka.  Something clicked in my head,
jumped up and began to rotate slowly. U
Shchukin was under the impression that there was
dancing began.  He squinted one eye and
others carefullylooked into the bottle.
It seemed to him that there was a fly inside.    
                                          
   “Ugh, drunkard!” said Shchu reproachfully.
kin in one of eight non-our languages,
which I suddenly stopped owning.  Spy
opened his second eye. The fly disappeared. Vasily
Petrovich shrugged his shoulders and, to allow
his doubts, raised the bottle to his lips and
I drank the rest straight from the bottle...        
                                          
   - No fly. I imagined it - satisfied
Renno noticed Shchukin in Esperanto and threw
empty bottle on the pavement.               
                                          
   Suddenly a sharp voice was heard above his ear.
los:                                      
                                          
   - Do you know where you can buy juice?..
                                          
   “Brother!” Vasya interrupted enthusiastically.
Liy Petrovich. - Dear! Don't know! But I
I can... - Shchukin faltered. He forgot how to...
det in Russian "Polish cuisine". - I can...
I can... scrape your floors...          
                                          
   Agent 008 paused and, sliding down to the ground,
added in Thai:                    
                                          
   - Let me kiss you... I felt like that
lonely... I was waiting for yours.CHAPTER 5                  
                                          
                Duel                 
                                          
   Shchukin woke up in an unfamiliar entrance.
It smelled like cats and vinegar.                  
                                          
   “Did I really drink the essence after all?”
he thought carefully, feeling himself with his hands.
The stomach seems to be in place, everything else
too.  The only thing missing is the right shoe.
What did I have hidden under there?
insole?.. Codes?.. No, the codes were in the
fashionable... By the way, there is no suitcase either.. But
What was in the boot anyway?  Yeah,
I remembered: three mines with a clock mechanism...
Min, it’s a pity, of course... It would be better if the left one disappeared
shoe.  There's only a folding machine gun, yeah
worm eggs that the boss ordered to throw
the chief engineer of the plant, if he does not agree
is happy to work for us."                 
                                          
   Vasily Petrovich got up, groaning, and went out.
out onto the street and began to look like a gasoline
puddle.  Then he turned his gaze to his bo-
I stick my blue leg in. Poisoned nail
was broken, and above the ankles were visible
the prints of someone's dirty fingers.        
                                          
   -  Wellwait! - muttered Shchukin, cautiously
I carefully tied a scarf around this place so as not to
accidentally damage the prints and hobbled towards
information desk.                         
                                          
   Turnouts were now out of the question.
We had to start all over again. By evening
he rented a suitable apartment from an advertisement
with two outputs and telephone. Mistress,
seeing the ragged Shchukin, she asked for an understatement
rogo.                                     
                                          
   However, now he was no longer Shchukin.
Since the passport disappeared along with the suitcase,
Mr. James Bond decided to use the
a dangerous legend. Now he was called Peter
Vasilievich Karasev, collector of folk-
songs and tales, a specialist in
native folklore.                       
                                          
   The spy brought things from the storage room,
transferred fingerprints from his right
legs on a special composition, packed in
half a liter jar and went to bed.          
                                          
   The next day he had something important to do.
matter. Agent 008 decided to use the latter
best chance.  According to the bosses given to him
instructions, he had the right, in case of extreme
no need, once a month, seven-
on the eleventh from ten to eleven
in the morning call 3-03-16 and go out
for direct communication with the resident. The next day I would-
lo seventeenth. According to the long-established practice
out of habit, Karasev woke up two minutes before
seven, pulled the telephone towards him and
dialed the desired number. They heard on the phone
frequent beeps.                             
                                          
   “It’s strange,” he said. “At this time it’s not
must be busy.                       
                                          
   He tried to connect again. Te-
go to the phone at the other end of the line
no one came. Pyotr Vasilievich wait
gave five minutes, pressed the lever and again
started to spin the disk. Karasev managed to connect
thread for the seventh time.                    
                                          
   “Hello,” I heard a leisurely voice on the phone.
high bass. - Who do you want?                       
                                          
   - Please, Innocent Pereputyevi-
“Cha,” the saboteur said.                 
                                          
   - Stop these jokes, Kolka, otherwise you’ll face
“I’ll hit you,” the owner of the bass answered angrily
and hung up.                         
                                          
   Pyotr Vasilyevich spat angrily on
telephone, then sat, thought, erased the
wok sleeve and began to ring again.
Three times he was sent to kindergarten, four times
- no one knows where, butnot where you need it
and once, as if in mockery, they connected
or with a denture clinic, that
It hurt the spy's pride.  He
clinked his gold teeth and wanted to drink
Leryanka, but due to strong emotional excitement
Neniya got mixed up and got some cyanide
potassium, a bottle of which they gave him for his
bottom just in case. Bond realized his
made a mistake only at the last moment and let it go
bottle into the garbage disposal.                   
                                          
   There were only fifteen left until eleven
ten minutes.  Pyotr Vasilievich took himself into
trembling hands and again dialed the desired number.
                                          
   - I want Innokenty Perputyevich, - with you -
Karasev called out.                   
                                          
   “He’s at the station,” he answered affably.
female voice.                            
                                          
   “Which area?” the spy didn’t understand.   
                                          
   But at this time they were killed. In conversation
Intercity intervened.                  
                                          
   - Did you order Bobruisk?                 
                                          
   “What kind of Bobruisk?” Pyotr Va flared up.
silyevich.- I didn’t order anything.         
                                          
   - How notdid you order? Your number is 6-44-22?
                                          
   “Nothing of the kind,” barked Karasev, “
not a single similar number!                   
                                          
   - Then excuse me...                    
                                          
   Persistent, like a distance learning student with many children
nickname, agent 008 began dialing again
vat.                                   
                                          
   - Ask Innokenty to transfer..          
                                          
   - You will talk to Bobruisk, - safely -
the long-distance call interrupted him pleadingly.    
                                          
   “No, I won’t,” losing his temper with anger.
The spy crowed in a thin rooster voice.  
                                          
   “Why,” the telephone operator was surprised.     
                                          
   - I don’t want and don’t want to, hang up! 
                                          
   It was three minutes to eleven on the clock.
tsat.                                     
                                          
   “It’s not true, I’ll get through to you,” through clenched teeth.
the saboteur muttered. “No wonder they called me
at Iron Joe school.                   
                                          
   - Please Innoken...“Bobruisk is on the line,” announced the TV
phonist in the tone of a person who brought a debt
welcome news.                          
                                          
   And immediately someone young and vibrant
The worthy one yelled into the phone:                  
                                          
   - Uncle Vitya, it’s me! Uncle Vitya, you got me
do you hear? Pavlik says. When are you leaving? 
                                          
   - Uncle Vitya died! - becoming furious,
said Karasev. “Come to the funeral.”  
                                          
   And he threw the phone at the chandelier.
The hands showed five minutes past twelve
th.  The fight with the telephone exchange was
lost                                 
                                          
   Agent 008 threw himself on the bed and buried-
face down on the pillow. He began to lose his head
new quality of a seasoned spy - faith in the
bya.  Having wiped away a stingy tear of Superman, Peter
Vasilievich turned over on his back and began
looking sadly at the ceiling.               
                                          
   “I’ll give up everything,” he whispered, “I’ll buy a farm,
I'll get married and raise chickens. You'll go out in the morning
- chick, chick, chick...                        
                                          
   A lump came to my throat. To calm down
to begin, Karasev stood up and began to do
gymnastics  HeI tried all the known ones
exercises for him, but in vain - he doesn’t have the tone
he hesitated, his hands gave up.                 
                                          
   “Boy,” he said to himself contemptuously.
spy.- Puppy, milksucker...               
                                          
   He wanted to continue the list, but the voice
trembled treacherously.  I didn't want to live.
Bond pulled the lace out of his shoe and checked
it for strength. The lace was strong. Di-
the versant took a sharply sharpened blade and
carefully cut the lace lengthwise. From there you-
A parchment rolled into a thin tube fell.
The saboteur straightened the parchment and put on his glasses
and read:                                 
                                          
   "Top secret. Official character-
Testimonials for Agent 008. Resilient, persistent
in achieving the goal, has an unbending
by will.  Cynical, boorish, self-confident
extremes.  Will overcome anything for the sake of money
obstacle.  Capable of anything. Deputy for HR
ram P. Flint."                             
                                          
   Karasev read the description and his face
gradually became clearer.                   
                                          
 - People respect it, - wiping it with a damp
the missing glasses, whispered Pyotr Vasil-
evich, - that means I’m worth something.He reread the description in depth.
good night and self-confidence gradually
returned to him. When the spy comes back
felt strong, resourceful and qi-
dishonest, he rolled up the description, shoved
it back into the lace, carefully sewed it up
white threads and began to think about new
intrigues.                                    
                                          
   He fell asleep only in the morning, but already at
At eight o'clock he was awakened by a knock on the door.
Karasev jumped up with a lightning-fast movement
tore off the sole of his left shoe, collected
folding machine gun and went to unlock the lock.  
                                          
   The postman stood on the threshold and held out
Some piece of paper for Pyotr Vasilyevich. This
there was a receipt for a telephone conversation with
Bobruisk.                               
                                          
                CHAPTER 6                  
                                          
              Impact in the ditch               
                                          
   Late passengers who got off deep
in the evening from the last train to the preparation
home station Neudelnaya, there were quite a few
surprised by one strange circumstance:
There was pitch darkness all around, all the lights were onplatform were broken, as if someone
their dim lighting might have interfered,
looking at the light of distant stars. When will the pass-
the fats went home, on the belt platform
hovered an ominous figure wearing a cap
backwards The man in the cap approached
to a huge plywood board with a schedule
commuter trains and began silently
pick out the nails with your fingernails
the shield was holding up. Having finished this, he, groaning,
He put the shield on his back and disappeared.           
                                          
   Of course, Pyotr Vasilyevich Karasev could
study the schedule during the day without stealing it from
platforms, but stand for half a day in full view of the snow-
passengers going back and forth would be difficult to
meaningful frivolity for a self-respecting
spy  And the camera mounted in
Karasev's jacket button was calculated
only for office photographs. Therefore Peter
Vasilievich, stumbling and groaning, carried
himself a shield across the city, dragged it into his
room and threw him onto the bed with relief.
Then he put on his flip-flops, turned his cap
visor forward, turned on the light and closed his eyes
out of surprise.                             
                                          
   On the bed lay a man in the form of iron-
knife His face expressed condemnation and
at the same time compassion. The man was on
drawn against the background of an electric train, from under the wheels
which some unfortunate person was running away.Over-
the letter below categorically stated: "S-
waste a minute and you'll lose your life!"       
                                          
   - Mine god! What an infection! - Ka cursed.
became angry and angrily kicked the man.-
This means that the schedule hung to the left. It was necessary
Take your glasses with you.                   
                                          
   He took the shield under his arm and dragged it back
to the station. At three o'clock in the morning Pyotr Vasilye-
Vich returned home with another shield. For this
since he was not mistaken - it really happened
schedule.  The spy put him on the floor and sat down
squatted down and began to study, doing
marks in the right places. By morning he picked up
a suitable train for yourself: it came
on Nedelnaya at twelve forty. "At half-
there won't be many people today, I thought insidiously
Karasev.- The most convenient time for sabotage
- no one will notice."                      
                                          
   He planned to cause an accident on the railway
road to prevent delivery
raw materials to a secret factory. It would delay
work on the invention and would make it possible
the spy's chance of winning at least two weeks.
And during this time he will be able to penetrate
plant and steal the drawings along with the main
engineer  And if you’re lucky, then with
head of the headquarters.  Get him drunk, pack him in
container and transport small goods across the border
speed- on yourself.                      
                                          
   Pyotr Vasilievich began to prepare for surgery
walkie-talkies. Because mines are clockwork
gone, all hope was for semi-nuclear
explosives based on sunflower oil, possess-
with extraordinary destructive power.
One of the spy caps was completely stuffed with it.
modanov. Agent 008 belted himself with a Bickford
cord and went to work.              
                                          
   At exactly twelve twenty Karasev was
on the spot. He placed a suitcase on the rails,
attached a cord to it and lay down in the ditch.
There were ten minutes left before the train. Would-
It was the beginning of September, but the sun was so hot,
as never before had a spy been burned by remorse
lead.  Pyotr Vasilyevich wiped the sweat from his face
with a burdock and regretted that he had not brought his cap.
But then in the distance something rumbled, the noise became
grew closer and closer, and finally because of
a group of schoolchildren appeared around the turn,
scrapped the threshing machine. The saboteur is covered
til fear. For these schoolchildren there was no
what is sacred?  They could well be attributed to
junk and his suitcase. Fortunately, the procession
not reaching Karasev about twenty meters,
turned to the side. Lopukhov is not nearby
remained. James Bond wiped himself with a dandelion
and began to wait again. The train is reserved
It had been blowing for five minutes already.                 
                                          
   -They couldn’t guess some kind of bush...
be planted on the embankment,” the spy cursed.
he.- Wait here in the sun.         
                                          
 He felt that the scorching rays
his nose began to peel off. Karasev covered
with the end of the fuse cord and nervously
I looked at my watch. They showed ten minutes to
hour                                      
                                          
   - Disgraceful, simply outrageous! Not
respect people!                            
                                          
   At the beginning of the second, Pyotr Vasilyevich
An unbearable burning sensation began to form in the back of my head. "How would
I can’t dry out here, I thought pitifully
he."  The train began to seem personal to him
an enemy, impudent and self-confident.        
                                          
   “Come, come,” he whispered maliciously.
spy. - I'll break your wheels.       
                                          
   Another quarter of an hour later, on the bow of Karas-
blisters popped up and the skin began to peel off
Ms.  "If this train doesn't come through de-
ten minutes, I'll leave him alone and kill him
one driver,” the saboteur decided.      
                                          
   At half past one he began to breathe
wash your hair.                            
                                          
   - Goodbye everyone.I’m drying up. - moaned
Pyotr Vasilyevich lost consciousness.       
                                          
   He was found by schoolchildren returning from
Recyclables collection point. They divided
foxed  Some of them ran to hand over to
scrapped the explosives, and the rest began
call an ambulance.                  
                                          
   “Sunstroke,” stated Pri-
a doctor who was at the scene of the incident. - More likely
into the car!                                 
                                          
   Karasev was placed on a stretcher and loaded
into the car just at the moment when
Yes, a latecomer rumbled on the embankment
train.                               
                                          
                CHAPTER 7                  
                                          
        Advance your education        
                                          
   The first person Karasev saw when he came to
consciousness, there was a plump black-haired woman
with a disgusted expression on his face. In the eyes
She was filled with contempt and had a notepad in her hands.      
                                          
   - Last name, first name, patronymic? - authoritative
the woman asked losom.- I didn’t see anything, I didn’t hear anything,
I don’t know anything, I won’t tell anyone anything, -
The spy stated firmly.                      
                                          
   “Don’t pretend, I know everything,”
the woman pulled him back.                     
                                          
   “It must have been so stupid to fall asleep” -
Agent 008 clicked his teeth like a wolf and, pro-
pretending to pretend to be a sheep, meekly say-
hall:                                      
                                          
   - My dear, this is some kind of misunderstanding -
tion. Give me the ship.                   
                                          
   - If you lock yourself in, I'll even tell you
I won’t shake hands,” she remarked in an icy tone
woman.                                  
                                          
   “Experienced,” thought the saboteur, “such a
you can’t fool chaff,” and was feignedly surprised: 
                                          
   - What, aren’t you a nurse?          
                                          
   - I will ask questions, - with dignity
the woman answered in an insinuating manner. No, I’m not sanitary.
tarka.  I am a junior city literary officer
newspapers Svetlana Kalmova. I fulfill my obligation -
ties of a senior literary officer. Editorial in
asked me to interview you.          
                                          
 - Ume? - Pyotr Vasilyevich in amazement
froze with his mouth open. Sunbeam, from-
bursting from his shining teeth, he rested
Kalmovoy in the left eye.                   
                                          
   “You’re interfering with my work,” said dryly.
she said. “Close your mouth and talk about
to yourself. So you are an inventor.              
                                          
   Karasev hid his teeth in a crust of bread and
began to feverishly remember that he
could have invented during his stay in this
city.                                   
                                          
   - Aren’t you mistaken? - Pointed in fear
he asked. “Do you know exactly who I am?”    
                                          
   “I’m never wrong,” with aplomb
the acting acting officer objected. senior literary officer. you
chief engineer of plant number seven Ivanov,
the author of some invention. Personally
Nya doesn't care, but I need the material
for the heading "On the cutting edge of science".     
                                          
   The spy's breath caught. "On the catcher and
the beast is running,” he joyfully said to himself,
Russian.- So this inventor too
here.  Let's try to find out details about
his work."                              
                                          
   - Do you know what kind of invention this is?
“What?” he asked carefully.“I don’t know and I don’t want to know,” she snapped.
Kalmova.                                 
                                          
   - What interests you? - in amazement
Karasev was curious.                   
                                          
   - I’m interested in how often they change you
bed linen, is it given on time?
Karstvo  I'm writing an essay about those who move
forward medicine.                          
                                          
 - But why did you turn to
me?                                      
                                          
   - Because you've been lying here for two already.
weeks.  However, you will still be with me for a long time
detain? By your grace, the editors
needs to get by without me for twenty years
minutes.                                    
                                          
   “Forgive me generously,” he said ingratiatingly.
Hall Pyotr Vasilievich. - Which one do you need?
ward?                                   
                                          
   - Thirty-first.                     
                                          
   - You have the wrong number! - triumphantly
answered the spy and pointedly turned away
to the wall.                                  
                                          
   Kalmova shrugged his shoulder offendedly,slammed it forcefully against the door frame and threw it
la.                                       
                                          
   And in Karasev’s head the villainous
plan.  "I wonder how long they'll keep me
in the hospital? - Pyotr Vasilyevich thought. - And
What if they discharge you tomorrow? I need something to come-
mother to stay here at least for
a week."                                
                                          
   He sat up in bed, strained and it hurt
bit himself in the stomach. Then he examined the wound,
anointed her with mustard and smiled with satisfaction
nulsya.  According to his calculations, this should have been
Enough for eight days. The saboteur pulled
hospital pajamas and went looking for
chief engineer                        
                                          
   Trying not to knock his slippers, he
sneaked down the corridor to thirty-one
ward and cautiously looked inside. On
the sick slept in two beds, on the third
a man surrounded by drawings was sitting and something...
I wrote it in a general notebook.                 
                                          
   - Neighbor, shall we kill the goat? - cheekily
Karasev laid down. The man is negative
shook his head.                              
                                          
   “What about checkers?” the spy continued.       
                                          
   - No,-muttered the man.               
                                          
   - Then maybe we can solve a crossword puzzle? -
The engineer was silent.                         
                                          
   - I can teach foreign languages, -
agent 008 said in a fallen voice. “They will
may be useful at work.               
                                          
   - Sorry, I don't have time.               
                                          
   - What are you so busy with? - unceremoniously
asked Pyotr Vasilyevich. “I see,
draw something.                           
                                          
 The inventor looked expressively at
Karasev remarked with irritation:        
                                          
   - I'm working.                           
                                          
   - This is in vain, - moralizingly
said the spy. “It’s not necessary to work in the hospital.”
thief, but to be treated. Doctors take care of you
They spare no effort. And we are breaking the regime. Now
I'll call the head of the department.          
                                          
   - No, no, please don't do this-
“Go,” the engineer begged. You see, finish-
I'm working on an invention. Such a shock
I came up with a cool thing using semiconductors.
It will revolutionize our industry.
Let's wash our noses abroad.- Oh, so you are an inventor! This is different
matter,” Karasev nodded importantly. “So,
Are you not guarded here?                      
                                          
 - Well, who to protect from in the hospital, -
the engineer was surprised. “Do you think... You are half-
Do you think that the invention can be stolen?     
                                          
   “No,” Peter Vasily waved his hands.
HIV.- What are you, what are you! Who will it come to?
head?  Get creative and don't worry.
How long do you still have left?                
                                          
   - Five days.                           
                                          
   - Well, well, I won’t bother you, it’s congested -
the saboteur drank. “Work, and I’ll keep watch.”
so that the doctor does not enter.                      
                                          
   Karasev closed the door tightly behind him.
and the gait of a demobilized soldier
wanted to be a resident:                  
                                          
  - Discharge me in five days, doctor.
                                          
   On the sixth day, Pyotr Vasilyevich passed
pyjamas to my sister-hostess, having received hers from her
suit, changed clothes and began to walk around
walk along the corridor, waiting for the image
The guard will remain alone in the chamber. Finally
desired momenthas arrived. Sick, sighing
and groaning, they scattered for procedures, the nurse
went out onto the stairs to smoke.  Saboteur
swiftly, like a racing frog, a thief
walked into the room and closed the door behind him.
Now he was face to face with the engineer.   
                                          
   “Here, I came to say goodbye,” a wry smile.
he burst out. “Well, we’ve finished working on
invention?                             
                                          
   - Imagine, just today morning-
rum! - exclaimed the engineer. - That’s all here
drawings.” He affectionately patted his hand
bedside table.- Colleagues will come in the evening, pe-
I'm sending them to the factory.                 
                                          
   “Congratulations,” Karasev muttered and thrust
hand in pocket behind his ominous fountain pen
coy.  However, he found only fragments there.
The entire pocket was stained with curare poison.
Pyotr Vasilyevich pulled his hand back and trampled
and resourcefully said:                       
                                          
   - And they urgently call you for an x-ray. I
just from there. They seem to be suspicious
They think there's something wrong with you.           
                                          
   “How,” the inventor was surprised, “I
I just took an x-ray yesterday.               
                                          
   “They didn’t save the film,” sadly for now.
shook his headspy. Mole in three places
la.                                       
                                          
   The alarmed engineer ran out of the room -
you, and Karasev jumped to the nightstand,
with a regular movement he pulled out the drawings and unfolded
lived them on the bed. My hands hardly shook.
Pyotr Vasilievich reached for the built-in
with a button-down camera, but in a hurry
I couldn't find it at all.  He tore off
glance from the drawings and looked at my
jacket  Two buttons were torn from the chest
German  The third, in which there was nothing,
dangled by one thread. James Bond
turned purple with anger. He's fierce
bit the thread with his teeth and swallowed the buttons
without chewing.  Infuriated, Agent 008
I was already beginning to think about whether to smuggle him
for the cordon instead of the chief engineer
hospital sister-housekeeper, but at this moment
The inventor entered the room. Peter Va-
silyevich quickly put the drawings in the nightstand
and, without blinking an eye, inquired:   
                                          
   - Well, what did the x-ray show?              
                                          
   Ivanov looked at him suspiciously,
then I looked into the nightstand and saw the drawings
and calmed down.                             
                                          
 - You got something mixed up, - he shrugged his shoulder -
mi.- They didn’t call me there,and some Ka-
raseva.                                   
                                          
   “Karasev?” the spy was frightened. “I
I know he is in our room. And what is it-
e?  He got all the pictures perfectly -
foxed                                     
                                          
   - That's the whole point. His photographs are at high
the package is sent.                         
                                          
   “What other exhibition?” he turned pale.
Bond, mortally afraid of any
there was publicity.                             
                                          
   - To the international photo exhibition in Bruce-
village, - said the engineer. All the best, then -
Comrade Karasev. Your jokes are strange.      
                                          
   “Sorry,” Pyotr Vasilyevich was embarrassed, “
at one time it was not possible to get an education
niy.                                      
                                          
   He paused and added neither to the village nor to
city:                                   
                                          
   - Do you need to cycle the floors?   
                                          
   “Thank you,” Iva answered coldly.
new, - I have already ordered a master from the plant
household services.                    
                                          
   - You'll be there for a long timewill have to wait -
warned the spy.                        
                                          
   “It’s okay, I’m not in a hurry,” he reassured him.
the inventor, escorting him out of the room.-
Be healthy, Comrade Karasev. Increase
your education.                         
                                          
                CHAPTER 8                  
                                          
            Operation "Safe"              
                                          
   Returning from the hospital, James Bond
I changed my clothes and began to think about how to live further.
All he knew about the inventor was that Iva-
I was waiting for the foreman from the household goods factory
service.  The spy decided to grab onto
this thread and confuse the whole ball. And
agent 008 went to the plant to hire
work.                                   
                                          
   Together with the jacket, just in case
changed my apartment and last name. Now in his
in his pocket was a passport in the name of Karp Karpo-
Vich Bildyugin, singing teacher and
labor.  His appearance is also unrecognizable due to
has changed.  He let his hair go down to his shoulders,
put on his dark glasses and looked like a star
bar, who received fifteen days for small
some hooliganism.In this form he is unrecognizable.
maybe even his own mother, whom he replaced
his boss.                                  
                                          
 Karp Karpovich was accepted at the plant
friendly, although they winced when they saw
college diploma. Bildyugin
slightly reduced the educational coefficient
ent, which was achieved by the team of cycle-
kovs and door upholsterers. All employees
were primarily embraced by higher education here
vaniyam.  Two people worked in the field of upholstery
agronomist, land reclamation specialist, oil producer and even
one candidate of some low paid
Sci.  However, they accepted Karp Karpovich
as an equal, especially since he promised
trying to get a job at an evening institute.       
                                          
   Spy for two days, remembering the past, working properly
renovated other people's apartments, trying not to
other than hairstyle, how not to stand out among
colleagues.  On the third day he waited until
everyone went to their objects, locked the door on
bolt, curtained the windows and, carefully looking around,
Having wandered around, he took out a book of re-
registration of orders.  Putting it next to you
gun, Bildyugin began feverishly
turn the pages, shudder in fear
howling at the slightest sound coming from
continuously rumbling noise under the windows -
hammer. Finally, Karp Karpovich found
select the required entry and joyfullyrubbed his hands
black gloves.  The gloves rustled
scaring the saboteur half to death. Don't wait-
giving commands, he meekly raised his hands
up, ready to give up. After sitting like this
for a while, he dared to turn
head and found that there was no one in the room
no.                                      
                                          
   “You’ll have to go see a neurologist,”
Iron Joe sighed and twisted mournfully
head like a cow shooing away flies.   
                                          
   He angrily pulled off his gloves and threw them away
their trash can and, taking it out of their pocket
eraser, began to implement his
diabolical plan.   First on the list
tomorrow's clients were listed in the book as
someone Tarasyuk Venera Afanasyevna.        
                                          
   “Tarasyuk will wait,” the spy decided, “
I waited more.                             
                                          
   He unceremoniously erased the customer's name
and entered engineer Ivanov in her place. Ve-
he pushed Nera Afanasyevna into the very
the end of the book, kindly giving her turn
inventor, which should have come up
no earlier than in a month.               
                                          
   Having completed the exchange operation, Bildyugin
put the book in its original place and sent -
go home.  The next morning, a littlelight, it's already starting
went to the chief engineer's apartment.       
                                          
   -Who's going to scrape the floors here? Ivanov you
what will you do?                            
                                          
   - I, but... - the engineer hesitated. - Now
I have no one to leave the apartment with, my wife
vacation. I was told that you would come in ok
November                                    
                                          
   - You're lucky, master, we managed earlier
curled up, - patted him on the shoulder in a friendly manner
Karp Karpovich. - And about the apartment, not som-
don't worry, I'll keep watch. I don't have a fly here
flies by, its kernels into the root.               
                                          
   - I wouldn’t like to bother you, - pro-
Ivanov mumbled.                            
                                          
   “It’s nothing,” Bildyugin assured. “Treshka.”
put in the extra and call it quits. "Maybe it really is
will give,” the spy thought hopefully. In his
position, a three-ruble ruble would not be superfluous at all.
                                          
   The inventor stomped around hesitantly
doors.                                   
                                          
   - Maybe you don’t trust me, - os-
James Bond asked sadly. “I’m a technical school.”
I graduated, I have a diploma.“What are you, what are you,” the engineer blushed,
shook his hand and, reluctantly, sent
going to work.                             
                                          
   Left alone, Karp Karpovich locked the
inside the door, checked whether the buttons were in place
tsy new jacket and carefully walked into
room.  First of all, Bildyugin carefully
rummaged through the drawers of the desk, but did not
I found nothing interesting there. Saboteur
looked in the closet, looked under the bed,
shook out the rugs. There would be no drawings anywhere -
lo. He carefully examined the room again.
and saw a large safe standing in the corner.
“So this is where he hides them,” respectfully
thought agent 008. - Cunning, don’t say anything -
chew. However, you can't outsmart James Bond.
Now we can assume that the drawings are mine." He
made himself more comfortable, took a pe-
a small knife with a built-in tool
tion and began to call his foreign
owners.                                   
                                          
   - Center, center, center...               
                                          
   “What,” responded the Center.            
                                          
   - Came into contact with the inventor, - pe-
edited Bond. - The drawings are the same as mine
in hands. I await further instructions.         
                                          
   The response message arrived in minutesthrough
forty.                                    
                                          
   - On the twentieth of September, as you know
place in international waters you will be
give the submarine from five to ten a.m.
ra. Appearance with drawings and inventor. Hel-
lo!                                       
                                          
   Bond put away the knife with the walkie-talkie and looked
on a desk calendar. It was eighteen
that is.                                      
                                          
   “I’ll make it,” Karp smiled self-confidently.
Karpovich. - Now we just need not to scare away
inventor.                             
                                          
   He cycled a little for show, then
boiled some tea for himself and, sipping from
saucers, daydreaming:                      
                                          
   - In a week I will already be surrounded
everything native: women, baseball, Russian ink
ra.  And then I’ll take a vacation and go somewhere else
be in Brazil.  Oh, this southern exotica!
Chocolate women, chocolate cars,
chocolates... Mmmm...            
                                          
   The bell rang. The engineer returned from work
bots.                                     
                                          
   “Sorry, master,” bowed guiltily.
Bildyugin.- I didn’t have time to manage
I'll finish it tomorrow. Your parquet is oak-
Well, with him, the parasite, you'll get tired.         
                                          
   The spy said goodbye and went home
prepare for your last, decisive
operations.  He spent the whole night packing his things,
put the weapons in order, compiled a report
Are you talking about the amounts spent for intelligence accounting?
teria.  On the morning of the nineteenth, agent
008 went to the city airport and bought
ticket for a long-haul flight and holding it under your arm
autogenous apparatus, came to the apartment to
chief engineer The inventor has already created
rushed to serve.                          
                                          
   “Don’t expect me today,” he said.
When you leave, slam the door and
everything.                                      
                                          
   “It will be done, master,” assured Karp.
Karpovich thought to himself maliciously:
"Well, keep your pocket!
Lazy, I'll wait, rest assured."          
                                          
   When the engineer's footsteps died down on the stairs,
he took out the autogenous apparatus and approached
safe.  Bildyugin was fiddling with the safe near
half an hour. Finally made it into the side wall
ok, that's a big enough hole, let me put it in there
hand and pulled out three rubles.                 
                                          
   -“What kind of tricks,” he swore. “See-
Well, this guy hides a stash in here from his wife-
us.                                       
                                          
   The saboteur pulled himself up, stuck it in the
pierced his head and began to turn feverishly
it in all directions.  The safe was empty. carp
Karpovich pitifully pulled his head to his shoulders,
The safe was pulled in with her. James Bond
from all the experiences he began to tremble and
I couldn't get the shaking thing out of the hole.
Xia head. To calm down he tried
remember something pleasant. But I remembered
his formidable boss and shook some more
stronger.  About forty minutes later the burglar finally
the man guessed to open the safe door without
Without any effort, he freed his head. He takes revenge
carefully spat in the hole and threatened with an autogenous gun
a photograph of an engineer hanging on the wall.  
                                          
   - Okay, inventor, I have you for everything.
you will answer.  Do you think that if you are big...
boss, this is how you can mock people.
And you also consider yourself educated. Well, by-
go, through your education you are with me and
you will get hurt.                              
                                          
   The spy took a thick book from the bookcase.
a large volume of the encyclopedia and weighed it in his hand.    
                                          
   - I'll hit you on the top of the head with this thing -
Ok, I’ll roll the body into a carpet and put it in my luggage.That rug over there will probably do. Let
the inventor will be surrounded by his family along the way
furnishings.                               
                                          
   Karp Karpovich removed the carpet from the wall,
spread it out for convenience on the floor and
began to wait for Ivanov.                      
                                          
   At seven o'clock they heard the sound on the stairs
steps. The saboteur raised a weighty weapon over his head.
This volume hid. The steps are getting closer
foxed  Now they are knocking very close,
the door opened.  Agent 008 closed his eyes,
swung and...                          
                                          
   - Bildyugin, finish your work, you're in trouble.
"They're sending potatoes," the spy said over
very ear.                               
                                          
   Karp Karpovich dropped the encyclopedia to himself
on his leg and opened his eyes. stood in front of him
fellow agronomist.                       
                                          
   “What kind of potatoes?” he asked, stuttering.
Karp Karpovich, jumping on one leg. - For
what?  I didn't do anything like that, honest
trade union word.                        
                                          
   - Just think, what a great deal. - The agronomist
painfully rubbed the scratched corner of the book
ear. - Why are you bully? me last year
also to the collective farmsent, but I didn’t tear-
Xia. Someone needs to dig potatoes.    
                                          
   “Sorry, I got excited,” he came to his senses.
agent. - It’s a shame, you understand why me
must go.                             
                                          
   “And who?” the agronomist was surprised. “At Mytya-
Shchina has radiculitis, Sergienko has a scientific degree
stump, Comintern Petrovich in the chess tour-
nira is participating, and you’re new, you don’t care
the rank is due.  So drop everything and go
Get ready, the car leaves at six in the morning.   
                                          
   “Okay, I’ve persuaded you,” Bildu agreed.
gin.- I’ll just finish the work now. You
go home, I have a little left here.  
                                          
   “Let me finish it for you,” generously
suggested the agronomist. “Otherwise you won’t get enough sleep.”
tomorrow.                                   
                                          
   - No, I do it myself. The owner tips me both
sorry We have to wait for him.                  
                                          
   “Ha-ha,” said the agronomist, “ha-ha-ha.”
Your owner in the morning for potatoes
sent. He called our office and asked
apologize to you. “I forgot,” he says, “
I’ll give your master three rubles, as both
sorry I'll give it back when I get back." So, semi-
You tell me, Bildyugin, your tips not before,
than throughtwo weeks.                     
                                          
   Karp Karpovich clenched his teeth until they crunched,
spat out the broken crown and jumped out onto
street.                                    
  CHAPTER 9                  
                                          
            Last sabotage            
                                          
   Behind an impregnable stone fence stood
a gloomy building, like Princess Nesmeyana. Vo-
the company was decorated with modest gilded
sign "Plant N7".  James Bond for a long time
noticed this object, but to get there
seemed to him an extremely difficult task.
However, now there was no choice. Before
The plane had only a few hours left.       
                                          
   - Fir trees and sticks, the forest is dense, - they are dirty -
spy.- The inventor managed to escape-
well, but the drawings won’t get me anywhere -
Xia. If I weren't Iron Joe.               
                                          
   He decisively struck himself with his fist.
chest and approached the security worker, an old
ku in a rumpled straw hat, menacingly
pacing at the gate with a small-caliber
with a rifle in his hands.                        
                                          
   -Father, is there a light?           
                                          
   Grandfather lit a match.                      
                                          
   “Help yourself,” Bildu suggested insidiously.
gin holding out a pack of sabotage special
gareth.  The old man took a cigarette, took a drag and
suddenly dropped the gun, grabbed his stomach and
rushed to the toilet. The cigarettes were stuffed
not ours, not Russian salt.               
                                          
   Agent 008, without wasting a minute, put on
mask on his face, quickly climbed over the fence
and crept up to the building. By drainpipe
he climbed onto the roof and ducked into the auditorium
window.  Five minutes later he was already carefully
walked along the long corridor of the factory management
nia.  Suddenly a woman appeared in front of him
with a wet rag in his hands. Seeing a man in
mask, the woman took a step back and
ganno asked:                           
                                          
   - Who are you talking to, citizen, in such
form? Everyone has already left.                       
                                          
   - I was sent to do disinfection, - no
Karp Karpovich was confused. “You have flies here.”
too much has gone wrong. Move away, mom
I’ll start spraying now, I’ll spray more
inadvertently.                                
                                          
   “What else can you say,” the cleaning lady was offended.Tsa, - we don’t have any flies. Alone with them
I'm managing. Here's a rag.                  
                                          
   Bildyugin looked at his watch.  Prepi-
there was no time to fight. He pulled out a gun and
pointed at the opponent of disinfection.       
                                          
   - Stop talking, show me where
Here you have the office of the chief engineer.      
                                          
 The cleaning lady pursed her lips and raised her
hands with a rag and led him to the door with
sign "Chief engineer Ivanov". In the office
there was a large table covered with green branch
nom.  The spy tied the cleaning lady with a tablecloth for
meetings and opened the safe with an autogen. Drawings
were lying inside. Karp Karpovich happily
kissed the cleaning lady, wiped himself with a cloth and
suddenly froze, like a child seeing for the first time
killed the cow. Each of the drawings had
clearly written in ink: "Road electric
semiconductor kettle. Author of the project:
engineer Ivanov."                          
                                          
   James Bond dropped the blueprints in confusion
and stared blankly into space. He's okay
didn't understand.                               
                                          
   “Darling,” she couldn’t stand the long silence.
cleaning lady, - I still want to ask you: are you here?
climbed behind an enamel teapot or
samovar? - And, seeing himconfusion,
added condescendingly:                  
                                          
   - What an eccentric.  Is it in our city?
can you find at least one teapot? We're all about
We send products for export.             
                                          
   - What... that your plant is still producing -
“Yes?” the saboteur said in a dead voice.   
                                          
   - Boilers, electric frying pans -
ki,” proudly began to list the cleaning staff.
tsa, - irons with a regulator.                 
                                          
   - That's all?                               
                                          
   - Well, I’ve also mastered the transistor kettle -
I eat, but this is unlikely to happen soon,
so I don’t advise you to wait.     
                                          
   Bildyugin recalled the enthusiastic story
The chief engineer's speech about his invention. 
                                          
 - Amazing thing, abroad the nose is duck-
rem,” agent 008 mimicked with hatred, “
I'll break this Ivanov's legs,
I'll let bedbugs into the apartment.                 
                                          
   - And he’s on potatoes now, - sympathetic -
but the cleaning lady noticed.                     
                                          
   - Then... then the director didn’t bear it-private factory.                        
                                          
   “Nothing will work out either,” she shook.
head of the cleaning lady. - He's gone on a business trip -
hal, to Belsk.                            
                                          
   -  Where?  Where?  - he asked ominously
Karp Karpovich.                            
                                          
   - To Belsk, to the neighboring region.        
                                          
   “Are you kidding me, old poker?”
the spy yelled in English. And seeing that
The cleaning lady doesn’t understand, she immediately translated the phrase
into Russian. - Why are you fooling me?
We are now in Belsk.         
                                          
   - No, my dear, you climbed into the wrong place, -
the cleaning lady calmly objected. “This is a city.”
Pelsk, and Belsk is four hundred kilos from here
meters with a hook.                           
                                          
   - Damn conductor, overslept, once -
“I woke you up in the wrong place,” he whispered
Bildyugin.  And the amazed cleaning lady saw
that her interlocutor in one minute became co-
completely bald. - I won’t leave it like that, I
I will complain to the Ministry of Railways
sorry, I’ll get to the minister.” And, falling to
shoulder of the cleaning lady, James Bond sobbed loudly.
                                          
                 CHAPTER 10                 
                                          
               End of agent               
                                          
 Agent 008 returned home after midnight.
There was nowhere to rush. The plane took off, where...
then Bond was still waiting in international waters
submarine, but after a few hours
and she will leave with nothing. The spy didn't even try
catch it in time. He knew that without drawings
It’s better for him not to show himself there. The owners are not
they will look at previous merits and transfer
him to clerks.                  
                                          
   Iron Joe took the rope and went out
yard He approached the old man, who had seen everything...
some times, poplar, threw over it
thick bitch end of the rope, made a loop
more firmly and suddenly pulled back.  Saboteur
I remembered that the insurance policy remained with
it sewn into the lining of the handkerchief.
“They probably won’t find it,” he thought listlessly, you-
pulled his head out of the noose and for the last time
went to the room to put things in order
documents                                  
                                          
 Going out into the yard, the spy looked around him
with a sad look.  There was no poplar. on his
there was a tree stump just higher than a human tree
growth. Hang onhe couldn't imagine
no possibility. At the far end of the yard
two men standing on a sliding ladder,
sawed off the top of a mighty linden tree. Diver-
Santa looked around helplessly - not a single
There is no row branch left in the yard. All
the trees stood bare, like the pipes of a crema-
riya.                                      
                                          
   Bond staggered out of the yard. He wandered
without making out the roads, on the lawns, on
rails.  On some street he noticed you
name "Cafe", went inside and ordered a brew
a new egg and a bottle of vodka. Having drained it in one gulp
glass, spy peeled the egg and piece
began to thoughtfully scratch out the shells
on oilcloth: “There is no happiness in life.”
A plump man sitting at the next table...
rank with cheerful eyes and a sad nose
leaned over James's shoulder and lovingly
I watched with torture the birth of the phrase.       
                                          
   “Yes,” he exclaimed passionately, having finished reading
to the end - let me subscribe to this!
                                          
   “Huh?” asked the saboteur.               
                                          
   “Allow me to shake your hand,” he said.
fat man - no, not this one. The one you pi-
sali. My last name is Nitkin and I am completely with you.
I strongly agree.                           
                                          
   “Ah,” he repeated.Bond.                   
                                          
   “No,” the man confirmed. “You tell me
cute, so I won't get away from you
hide - no.                          
                                          
   “What’s missing?” the spy was gloomily surprised.   
                                          
   - There is nothing.  There is no happiness, constant
there is no government, there is no Ivan Ivanovich...         
                                          
   - Which Ivan Ivanovich?                 
                                          
   - The one who was in the city executive committee. Mo-
can you imagine, he was freed from there?
dili.                                     
                                          
   “I don’t care,” Agent 008 waved him off.    
                                          
   “How can anyone give a damn?” he indignantly said to himself.
sednik.- When three months ago I
fired from the railway who provided
I want the position of director of city trade, maybe
you? No, not you, but Ivan Ivanovich. And when me-
Nya was released for breaking up, who transferred
me to manage a communal farm? And who
Tom recommended me as the head of the RJU?    
                                          
   “What, what?” asked James Bond.
painfully trying to concentrate. - By whom
Have you been working lately?        
- Better ask who I didn’t work for. Te-
he commanded the telephone unit, the head of the hospital
was a manager, headed a department at the plant
electric kettles.                          
                                          
   “And now,” in an ominous whisper,
the saboteur poked his head in, “Who are you now?”        
                                          
   - Head of the landscaping trust, -
The fat man introduced himself and sadly added,
bye.  It’s unlikely that I’ll stay here long either -
There are intrigues and undermining everywhere.                   
                                          
   But the saboteur was no longer listening. He started
to see clearly  So this is the man who
stood in his way all the time, a man
the fault of which he, agent 008, suffered
some fiasco, I stopped believing in myself, I lost
had a brilliant start to his career!             
                                          
   “Well, wait a minute,” Bond muttered, squeezing
fists and rising from the chair.- Scoundrel!
Slacker!  Tune... vtune... parasite.-
His face gradually took on the color of hemo-
forehead                                   
                                          
   - It’s not enough to evict you, deprive you of your registration!
Work has been ruined everywhere!                    
                                          
   - But, but.  I'll ask you to choose expressions -
Nitkin threatened, sliding to the floor and backing away
back under the table. - I you... Ito you, I to you...
I won't shake hands. Defend yourself! - and he is from below the der-
kicked the spy by the leg and knocked him straight onto
yourself.                                     
                                          
   Clutching, they rolled to the side
handout.  The fight did not last long.
Half an hour later the rivals were already standing in front of
desk of the duty officer at the police station.     
                                          
   - last name, first name, patronymic? - asked sternly
forces junior lieutenant.                    
                                          
   The spy was silent, tired with a dull gaze.
hanging onto the window bars.                  
                                          
   “Your name,” the duty officer repeated.    
                                          
   Bond, biting his lip, looked sadly at
clouds floating behind bars.          
                                          
   “Calm down, citizen,” affably
said the junior lieutenant, “drink some tea,”
light up, make yourself at home. So, your fa-
Milia?                                    
                                          
   Iron Joe's chin trembled,
so he began to shake.                      
                                          
   “Write!” the saboteur said decisively.
St. - Bildyugin, aka Shchukin, aka Kara-
Sev, aka James Bond, Agent 008.He took a breath and looked ingratiatingly at
junior lieutenant, added:             
                                          
   - Please take into account, I give my testimony ok -
at ease...                                 
                                          
EPILOGUE                  
                                          
 What happened with James Bond, of course -
yes, atypical, because rotose, lazy
thieves, slobs, grabbers, speculators and pro-
whose negative types are always found
ka for the class enemy, his unwitting
accomplices.  Oh, if only it were the other way around! Here we are
and they wrote it the other way around. In terms of irony
a dream taken to the point of absurdity. And since
the absurdity is obvious, to the extent that the authors ardently
join those people who are fighting -
with carelessness, disorganization,
lack of discipline.                  
                                          
                - end -                 
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