Lime Tree #19 04 апреля 1996

Самиздат

Lit.Stranichka - The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Chapter 9).

And again we are pleased NOMY adventures of Winnie-Buch.



   Chapter Nine, in which Piglet completely surrounded by vodka.


       IT rained and it rained and rained, and Piglet had no 
choice except how to drink and drink and drink. Indeed, 
continuing here a week rain forest turned into a kind of ocean.

Piglet, all finishing his champagne, which he had (five boxes - 
a year's supply), out of despair began for the vodka, which he 
brought Winnie the Pooh, a week before the flood. Piglet said 
himself that never in all my twenty-two years he did not drink 
so much vodka. But he drank and drank and drank. From morning 
to night. Day after day. 

       "Now, if - I think Piglet, sitting in a chair with a 
cigarette in the teeth and the glass on the table - if it was 
with me Vinnie, I It would be much more fun! "And he imagined 
how they Winnie finish another bottle, and then go swimming in 
the distillation, and then go fuck relatives and friends Bunny 
and then most rabbits, and then dive head first from ten feet. 
Of course, this would be so off! 

       And anyway, what good is such amazing things, like Vodka,
if no one with whom to drink?

       Naturally, at any other time such problems have not 
Piglet, no one else had occurred. There was no need even 
kogolibo invite - all forest dwellers were amazing property 
find out who has a bit to drink, and no less surprising 
property liter drink in fifteen seconds. But inappropriate 
happened Flooding has created quite a difficult obstacle to the 
free flow of alcohol, which was very left. 

       So the drink was not with anyone, and Piglet suffered 
avidly in alone. Gradually the number of bottles decreased 
steadily approaching zero. And now remained only one bottle, 
and Piglet is still done nothing. 

       Actually, he could do nothing as his mind clouded 
specifically for the flood. Temporary Piglet could not even 
remember his own name. Sometimes he imagined Napoleon himself, 
and sometimes it seemed to him that he was the Sultan of 
Brunei, or, at worst, his mistress. In short, pig began visiting

first siptomy delirium tremens.

       However, after four days of Piglet found another fit of 
delirium tremens, which by happy coincidence led him to the 
rescue. Unaware of the actions, Piglet pulled label from one of 
the bottles, and scrawled in pencil: 


   When ha di ones, let's drink!

   I x. .. the ...


                         H., Columbus.


       Then he put the label into the bladder and threw it away 
into the room. After this feat, Piglet, exhausted collapsed to 
the floor. 

       The next morning, Piglet, the first thing looked for
something to be sober. Noticing the bubble, he was joyful 
grunts got up, crawled to the bottle, and the disappointment 
was convinced that it is empty. With anger shooting out of the 
window, Piglet again fell to the floor and began to snore.



       When it began to rain, Winnie the Pooh celebrated the 
opening of the East Pole, which he organized Expotition 
yesterday. Actually, the East Pole Pooh open failed, but 
succeeded in open half a dozen bottles of "hello" and to drink 
in a society Eeyore, who agreed to soprovozhdat.Pridya home, 
they thoroughly added and lay down to sleep. 

       Pooh woke up holoda, and was horrified to find what lies 
at the a large puddle of water formed, podtekshey under the 
door. Close lying vile smelling Eeyore, occasionally snoring in 
his sleep. 

       - The situation is serious - said Pooh. - We must look 
for salvation. 

       The first thing Pooh had to take care of maintaining
their stocks Spirtnogo.Im really serious danger, as with Eeyore 
jokes before (and indeed, after) a hangover are ill.


       Winnie the Pooh matchmakers its biggest-big bubble 
"Absolute" and escaped with him in a thick-pretolstuyu branch 
of his tree. Then he went down, and escaped with yet another 
bubble. 

       And when rescue operations were over, sat on a branch of 
Pooh, dangling his legs, and stood next to seven bottles of 
Absolut. Generous Pooh Eeyore at the bottom left with an opened 
box "Rasputin." 

       The next day, sitting on a branch of Pooh, dangling his 
legs, and near were six bottles of vodka.


       On the third day of sitting on a branch of Pooh, holding 
her legs and dangling his legs, and nearby were four bottles of 
vodka. 

       On the fourth day under a tree lying Pooh, dangling his 
legs, and were lying next to a semicomplete and six empty 
bottles of vodka. 

       That dreadful day was over vodka, which could not be
say about the flood. Winnie, making sure that no vodka, has 
penetrated into House determination to discourage Eeyore little 
"Rasputin." 

       Before the dull gaze of Pooh appeared disappointing 
picture: among the scattered bottles and cans of beer at the 
far corner could be seen the tail, ass and other attributes of 
Oia. 

       - Here, b. .. m. .- it, - said Pooh. - What should I do 
now? 

       And he went outside to ponder the future action plan.

       And just at this time Piglet's bottle floated past 
Pukhov home. 

       Pooh went into ecstasy. With a loud buhim shouting 
"Hurrah-ah!" he selflessly flung himself into the water and 
immediately lost under the feet of the bottom. 

       - Oh, Mama - Winnie scared, trying in vain to swim
back to shore. Seeing that this is not possible, Pooh, gathered 
last power and stretched out a paw to the bottle. Touching as 
gave Bear force, and he, not letting go from the clutches of a 
precious object, desperately earned all his limbs ...


       Meanwhile, Christopher Robin sat at home and bored. Vodka
He was not, and the beer was not able to brighten up the forced
privacy. Water has turned his home into a real, island, on 
which he had nothing to do, except engage in self-satisfaction. 
Every morning, Christopher Robin regularly rode his island in 
the umbrella to find girls, alcohol, or even would be something 
that would cheer him. But alas, nothing interesting to discover 
it was not possible. 

       On this day, it flew to the Owl, is also wanted, where
it would be possible for a drink.

       - Neto them .. I pehtar from here - greeted her, 
Christopher Robin. 

       Owl pretended not to hear.

       - I see that the atmospheric conditions were not 
favorable, - she said. 

       - Fuck off, - said Christopher Robin. - Not up to you.

       - It would not hurt to mark the anniversary of the 
withdrawal of American invaders from Iran to lift a drink, - 
said Owl, looking pointedly at Christopher Robin. 

       - Yes, I would like to have these American impotent - 
said Christopher Robin. - I do not have anything.


       - Sorry - said Owl. - And who is not familiar with?

       - Do Me-e-AE ... - Faint moan.

       Christopher Robin shuddered.

       - Pooh? You?

       - I. .. Yes, help me just b .., can not you see, because 
the tone, ....,... 

       Not listening to the bear raids, Christopher Robin, 
launched the water your umbrella, and sat in it, swam to the 
Winnie the Pooh and helped him get out of the water.


       - What are you here to swim? Asked Christopher Robin, 
Pooh, When they got ashore.


       - I'm ..., well, rain, you know ...., and vodka there 
and ... then Eeyore this ... suddenly I saw a bubble ... and 
...., well, and. .. and then ...


       Christopher Robin, exchanged glances with the Owl.

       - In short, Pooh, you said that you have as you know 
what? 

       - I'm saying?

       - And if not, right now, throw back into the river - has 
threatened to Christopher Robin. 

       - Yes, here is something. Sail by ... - Said Pooh
pointing to the bottle he held in his hands.

       - Oh, hello! - Christopher Robin was delighted. - Only
it is too small for us both.

       - For the three of us - corrected Owl.

       - Come on ... - maternulsya Christopher Robin .- 
insolent, in nature.


       Pooh, meanwhile, opened the bottle and gazed thoughtfully
inside through the neck.

       - You know, Christy, and there's nothing there - he said.

       - How is it nothing? - Christopher Robin was surprised.

       - Oh, s .. some inside, and all.

       With these words the Pooh began to shake the bottle 
until it is not from had the label.


       - Here, you see? It says something ...

       Pooh, trying to read Missage not noticed came up to
it Christopher Robin, who suddenly rushed at the bear, grabbed 
him by the collar and started shaking, crying: 

       - How is it nothing? Yes you are, b .., you know, 
whatever! I! not! drink?!


       And then S. Raman (pal, Christopher Robin), P. SB (guy
Sasha Bugs), SM (Sex Maniac), FA (A fan of alcohol)
In short, our beloved teddy bear Winnie the Pooh because 
Christopher Robin gave a slap in the face, that he flew on two 
meters. 

       - Owl, please read - asked Pooh, holding
book filled with the label.

       - Come and have a drink, I ... x Next illegible - read 
the Owl. 

       While she read, Christopher Robin had come to 
consciousness and thought, what would it pobolnee hit the bear, 
by hand or foot. But read Owl made him completely forget about 
Pooh - his thoughts shifted only on alcohol. 

       - Who wrote it? - Asked Christopher Robin.

       - I do not know - thoughtfully said Owl. - It would not 
hurt it to find out.


       - I know - suddenly said Pooh. - It's Snout.

       - How do you know? -Incredulously asked Christopher 
Robin. 

       - Yes, I gave him a half weeks ago, bring a box, "Hi." 
This one of those bottles, for sure.


       - So what do we sit here? - Cried Christopher Robin.
- Owl, if you want to, fly, just leave us a little bit, okay? 
Hey, Co-wa-ah! ..


       But the Owls have not been around.

       Christopher Robin and Pooh once sat in an umbrella and 
floated to Piglet.


       I will not describe their confusion they experienced 
when they saw lying on the floor of Piglet, who called in a 
dream Eeyore, and the more of their madness, when he saw a pile 
of empty bottles. Tell only that they have left a friend in 
trouble, and fiddled with it for a week, took him out binge. 

       But my story would be incomplete if I did not mention a 
Steep The party that gave Christopher Robin on the liberation 
of forests by the floods. The party lasted all night, and there 
VseVse All-Cool come off - there was alcohol, and Disco, and 
girls, in short, everything that makes life not so boring. 


                                Nomy Graphics Limited, 28.03.96.



Room for release prepared LORD WINTER.

Chief Editor:. LORD WINTER, Alex, t.300-1064
zam.gl.redaktora:. 583-SOFT, Alexander, t.583-8993
ved.rubriki "ABOUT":. ANDY NIK, Andrew, t.186-4850
ved.rubriki "TREENEWS":. ARGON, Alexander, t.401-9029
ved.rubriki "NEWS":. STEVER, Oleg, t.366-6084
Editorial polls:. MICROWORD, Alex, t.135-6017

editor application "CLUB": EVILMAN, Marat, t.300-4489


         Requires technical editor!


(C) 1996 WINSOFT PRODUCTION, LIMESOFT