scream - How to break the half-line (Chapter 1-3).

<b>scream</b> - How to break the half-line (Chapter 1-3).


          How to break axis.



             Chapter 1.


      If you want to run SETUP -

      Press . Your Dell is out!

      From the memories of radio operators Cat.


Through the windows came the rain and the process of 
installation. Bill Gates has turned from the window Microsoft

Excel and asked Norton-commander:
 - Petya devices?
 - 486DX2/66/1/40/kosye/EGAmono!
 - What EGAmono?
 - And that the "instruments"?
Ten minutes later the Excel window is finally
Gates were closed and asked:
 - How are things with fellow ISAeva?
 - It is difficult.
 - This is Good. Ai keV for him new

   TASK invariant systems.
But the windows came the rain and the process
installation.

Low smoky ceiling restore_run'a
Three megabytes was almost black from soot.
Fed there is not very good - as a rule,
was 4 Mb azu and salad Olivetti. Fed
there is even worse - usually beer
"Ostankino", which everyone called
"Trupovskim. But this is not to scare away
regulars. Scared away their friend. C
recently became a restore_run
look Advertising Manager OS / 2
Stirlitz. And now he sat at the far
table with his laptop with the resources to
seven and programs at eight, in
T-shirt with the inscription "Do not Microsoft, and
small programs in Russian! ". Sometimes
he grew bored, and he pulled out of
pocket floppy disk labeled "Manager
ISAevu from BG for the liberation of the market from
CP / M "and with the agility of a true hacker
ran a network of a couple - three new
viruses.
 - What heinous program of this
Microsoft - all of a sudden said,
programmistik young - I have them all
recorded by one and wash in the queue!
The room was silent. All
looked at Shtirlitsa. Stirlitz took
floppy disk, although the bulb has not yet
went out and knocking three monitors, the lunar
gait approached the high-handed
programmistiku.
 - KOBOLtus nedoinstallirovanny!-Strained
he clicked on a laptop 
programmer.
 - Sorry, I do not quite understand -
babbled fluttered programmistik.
Stirlitz lost control of himself and without giving
to recover, scored Format C: and hit
Enter.
 - I am manager of Microsoft ISAev and
let every user to offend
maykrosoftovskih programmers!
The audience rushed to separate
disputants. Merry Shtirlitsa
dragged from moaning programmistika and
to comfort, offered a toast to
Microsoft for Bill Gates. Stirlitz drank
and the programmer was not interested in him.
 - Well as you can - if Stirlitz
Microsoft is talking about, and even in
such terms, - said one of the
presence.
 - Stirlitz - good soul - sigh
the other - I remember three days ago here
washed pirated copy Solaris, so all
used low-level formatting, and
Stirlitz - Quick Format.

    A Stirlitz already asleep. Dreamed
engineers, tapeworms, and printers. Now he
asleep, but exactly half an hour later woke up,
to continue its hard, but this
necessary work for Microsoft.



              Chapter 2.


            To chip in the eye can not beat,

            Wore glasses, work!

            From the memories of radio operators Cat.


Stirlitz childhood fond of computers.
His favorite stories were
"Trehdyuymovochka" and "OLE Lukkoye. The five
years he was using the carrot and stick seized
the art of programming. In ten years
commissioned by the Russian Academy of Sciences, he
wrote the Forth, which
known as Fortran. In
twelve years he had two drive
Toshiba laser printers and three - in
police. In fifteen years of Maxim for the first time
tried beer, "Porter Centronics" and
morning invented language Alcola. He was very fond
music - especially the group of DOORS and album
"The Wall", so it was difficult
go to the platform Windows. Now in its
hit - parade in the lead group "Acer of
Baser ", S. VEGA, Suzi Quattro Pro and
old song "I met all the VAX
former ...".
In the first year at college Stirlitz proved
sines ver. 5.0. The topic of his
thesis was to write full
multitasking and multiuser
operating system's processor 8088,
which he called a "wicket." It was noticed
and, on graduation, were invited to
group of developers Windows. Through
some time he was transferred to a group
industrial espionage.
Stirlitz was the best resident. It can be
was interrupted, but can not be unloaded. In his
track record of such cases were listed as
"Professional friend" - the Lotus Ami Pro,
"Cool outfit - a Lotus SmartSuit,
"Hand lewd" - about Aldus FreeHand,
"Local bus" - the Local Bus and more
another.
Now he is out the most important task -
trying to get a list of the undocumented
functions of OS / 2. "I'll call her report
"Sex" - with its inherent tendency to
bad pun thought Stirlitz
absently watching for one of
terminals in his office a couple ol broke
password.
 - Buttons tight at the buttons - as always
in the subject blurted Stirlitz.
ISAev picked with a screwdriver in DeskJet'e thinking
"Not a fig yourself jet streams are not in fact
at all "when he came on the modem ZyXEL
encryption of Diskdoktora Pleischner.
 - ZyXEL - moksel! - Swore Stirlitz
read that Diskdoktoru have failed
get the necessary documents. Remained
The last hope. Stirlitz got up and left,
whistling a tune through his teeth, "Come on,
Jora, and hold my Macintosh ".



                Chapter 3.


          We note with squeal banging on the keys,

                Bringing the autumn dawn.

             From the memories of radio operators Cat.

Chief of Security EF One of
HELP nicknamed, was a fine dirty dog. He
collected viruses written
Stirlitz, and sent them as freeware on
BBS for the Air Force, VMS, Navy and DOSAAF. Once, in the
result of this was destroyed
semi-annual labor development team.
Head of Software Department
von T. de Zayner instructed to investigate this
cause most EF Odin. Two months, all
HELP grovel and Stirlitz
to deflect suspicion from himself, even
came up with a version that is made in China
Spy NEC DEC. In the end, hurt
SK Rolling, Head of intimate
Public Relations, which
inadvertently won HELP Tetris.
Now EF send one message to BBS
"Stirlitz uses in the programs the operator
GOTO ". Before he could press Enter, the door
opened and entered the room itself ISAev.
 - One, "said Stirlitz - Give PageMaker.
 - And why you? - Asked HELP.
 - Changes to do - without batting an eye
countered Stirlitz.
"This is his words not climb -
HELP thought - "here sense the hand
Microserfs.
While EF One rummaging in boxes with
pirate distributions, Stirlitz its
moon walk quietly walked to the safe
and using a handheld cracker hacked 128
bit security code. It was not difficult
after cracker Shtirlitsa broke and √ 2-bit, and
№-bit, and even e-bit code. Taking the necessary
folder with the documents Stirlitz slammed
the door and said:
 - By the way, One, did you try sometime
plug the cord into the socket with a jam?
ISAev knew that he always remembered
the last sentence, so HELP, remembering
Visit Shtirlitsa will think that he
came to show off their next wacky
pun.
Two days later Stirlitz received a message:
"Unix - apex'u. Date error. Kanto Reed Drive
tse. "
 - Excel-moksel! - Said Stirlitz.
He alone knew that he would raise the salary.
ISAev went and bought for a fee
Ethernet box favorite, "Porter
Centronics ", slowly drank, parallel
Loved playing Minesweeper.
After a while he lay in a haystack
junction of two drains, watching his stack
memory, tapping a stack with a bang on
boots, waving a banner and streaming
happy tears.
But the windows came the rain and the process
Installation ...



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