ZX Pilot #13 12 августа 1997

Юмор

COMICS - FAQ on computer topics (humor).

     COMICS



   1. "Dear Norwegian Wood" I'm 14 years old, I was a schoolboy.
Please help me! All my friends say that the modem
must be at least 9600, and I have - just in 2400.
With parents, I speak on this topic too shy, they have me
strict. Is it pathological? Tell me, what should
be a normal modem. "

   No pathology here. In this case, the norm is
whatever you enjoy to communicate that to you
nice. Remember, a lot depends on you. I know a lot of
when a person with a modem for 1200 vytvoryayu such that its
neighbor (who, incidentally, was at 14400) did not even dream 
of. It is quite another matter if the adult is not more than 
300 - should seek emergency medical attention.




   2. "My name is Nastya, I'll fall in Grade 8. My problem
lies in the fact that I have very little hard drive. There
whether - any way to increase it? The girls in the class of 
home-based laugh ... " 

   There is nothing funny about it. Too many people are faced 
with this problem. Fortunately, now there are many

ways to overcome it. Each has its advantages and
disadvantages. Which to choose, you decide. Just do not forget 
to first consult a specialist.




   3. "Write you Misha conscripts. Three years ago I
started "vocabulary" and have been doing that ever since.
Tried several times to quit, but nothing happened. I guess I
pervert and infirm. Soon to return to the citizen - and
As I look into the eyes of his comrades? "

   Calm down, no reason for concern. This
perfectly normal, stage, through which
many. By some estimates, up to 85% of men did the same
most or doing it until now. Usually, after some
time it passes. Of course, if you do this
Several times during the day, bringing themselves into a frenzy 
- need psychiatric intervention.




   4. "My husband and every Friday we do a backup of the entire
our information. I prefer cartridges Bernuilli, and her husband
like magneto-optical disks of 1.2 GB. Who of us is right? "

   You're both right. Each of you is your ideal, your habits.
And that is another point of view has a right to exist. My
Board one - Do this more often.



   5. "On the wedding night my wife and I tried to install
Windows 95, but we did not succeed. Maybe we are something
sick? Tell me, where shall we go? "

   The main thing - do not worry. Did not work the first time -
try again. Do not be afraid to experiment, and all you have
necessarily succeed. Light the candles, turn on the quiet calm
music, and - go ahead! Remember: more than 1 million people 
have experienced the same trouble as you. And how much is yet 
to be? " 



   6. "How many physical hard drives on my computer?"

   And what is your difference? If one - that you do not use it
you? And if they are seven - seven more to add? In the physical 
hard drives the main thing - that they were.




   7. "Just got a new computer. How to determine
first I had a user or not? "

   It does not matter. The most important thing - to find 
mutual understanding. 



   8. "How do I insert a floppy disk 3.5''?

   Usually it takes the right hand and inserted into suitable 
for the size of the hole to a depth of about six fingers. 
However, if you're a southpaw, you can safely use the left hand 
- prohibitions here are misplaced. Try it with lips, hips,

muscles of the anus - it will make a variety in your
everyday life.



   9. "My new computer has only one drive on the
3.5''. At work I have left ICDO floppies to 5.25.'' Tell me
Will my drive on the 3.5''over time to adapt to
5.25''floppy disks? "

   Alas, can not. This is one of the best examples of 
incompatibility. 



   10. "When I was in first grade, I was approached
high school and invited him to write a program in BASIC. I
was to refuse, but he made me. Since then, I am writing
program only in BASIC. Sometimes, when parents leave, we
gathers a group of 6-8 guys and write programs in BASIC
together. A year ago I met a girl, and she suggested
I write a program in Pascal. I did not work: I
vomited and then long headache. My name is Basil
Pavlovic, in September I will be 47 years old. My life is 
broken. " 

   I appeal primarily to adults: Explain your
children the dangers podsterigayut them in school, in the 
street, Away. Tell me that they can make adult uncle with

mental disorders. Just do not be too intimidated - children
very impressionable, they can arise from complexes that
will then interfere in their adult life.


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