Odyssey Magazine #00 11 декабря 1996

Юмор

Fun - "The Fisherman and the Fish."

To help you get bored offering
Here is a short but instructive tale. Unfortunately authorship
not known, and fished in this tale
"Networks" are our friends from Taganrog.



       The Fisherman and the Fish



        (Unfinished story)


     Once upon a time the old man and an old woman

     Near the engine room

     The old man was producing periphery

     The old woman driver was written

     They lived with a dilapidated terminal

     Exactly five years and two years.


     One old man went to Europe

     There, he threw his nets -

     Pulled the old HANDBOOK'i

     On another occasion he threw the network -

     Pulled FAIL'ovye tape

     The third time he threw the network -

     Lo and behold - in the networks of the goldfish

     Scales in her integralkah

     Written on the tail "MERA"

     As pleaded Goldfish

     Said the old man in Fortran:

     "Let me go

                  old man

                        with the world

     In their native multiplex channels

     Rich for myself, I'll buy -

     Ask for only what you desire "

     Frightened old man, was surprised

     He had not seen such a miracle

     Said: "Give a little software of

     We somehow do not have anything "

     "No problem," he said, the fish

     Merovskim tail waved

     And dived into the bier.


     The old man returned with a hand Exec

     Told me about this miracle old woman

     Angry old woman, zarugalas

     Durachina you gawk

     Are there many prosecutors in the Exec

     I do not want to drive underneath the program

     Go to fool his fish

     Ask your operating system


     The old man returned to Europe

     (It happened FAIL on tape)

     He came to the modem, said:

     "Where are you a goldfish?"

     Swam to him goldfish

                              asked:

     "What do you want, old man?"

     Her with a bow The old man replied:

     "Have mercy, Your Majesty Goldfish,

     The old lady scolded me

     Do not want to work under the Exec

     Bring her to the operating system "

     Meets the goldfish:

     "Do not worry, drive themselves with God"

     The old man returned to the old woman

     Lo and behold - she was sitting at the computer screen

     Looks at the best supervisor

     Editor Marafet suggests

     On-screen timer cuckoo

     Wanders through the yard planner

     Driving a car problem

     CLOSE password

     At one side memory file

     And at the entrance to the dumper with the mallet.


     As she saw the old man old woman -

     Razrugalis worse SYSTEM MESSAGE:

     "Durachina you gawk

     Elicited OS durachina

     I do not want to be a system

                       programmer

     I want to do what you want sweetie

     So that does not mess around with assembler

     A write on a clean PASCAL'e

     Different beautiful things. "


     That old man made his way back to Europe

     Sees - the machines SYSTEM ERROR

     He goes to the modem, is calling

     Sailed goldfish:

     "What do you want, old man?"

     Her with a bow The old man replied:

     "Have mercy, Your Majesty Goldfish,

     Again bristle old woman

     Does not want to deal with software of,

     A programmer wants to be free

     To forget completely about the assembler

     And writing on a clean PASCAL'e "

     Meets the goldfish:

     "Do not worry, drive themselves with God"


     The old man returned to the old woman

     Lo and behold - in the VC software development group

     Old woman wrote preprocessors

     Tray with a bow Utilities

     She hits them over the beard drags

     Requires a new compiler

     The old man said his old woman:

     "Well now your sweetheart

                         satisfied? "

     At his old lady did not look -

     Sent a test strip


     That week, another place

     More than ever the old woman gone mad

     Causes the old man and says to:

     "I do not want to be free

                     prorammistom,

     And I wish to put the problem

     Do not plod all day for terminal

     Compose any algorithms,

     Who only wish. "


     There really old man was astonished:

     "What are you a woman, henbane overeat?

     Nothing in problems not understand

     The whole system will be fun "

     The old woman then stamped their feet

     Ran faithful servants

     The old man was sent on a mission.


     The old man returned to Europe

     (Dali fault system disks)

     He began to click a goldfish

     Fish swam to him and asked:

     "What do you want, old man?"

     Her with a bow The old man replied:

     "Have mercy, Your Majesty Goldfish,

     No plaguing cursed by old ladies,

     I do not want to be free

                      programmer

     Only wants to set goals

     What are her dearest wish "

      Replied the old man a fish:

     "Do not worry, drive yourself to God

     Welcome to it poses problems "

     Returned the old man - astonished

     The old woman sits in his office

     Mathematics around so programmers

     Bank Relational her writing

     Bear Overseas Packages

     Adapt to our machines

     And the old woman know makes requests

     In its simplest form

     Sit near the boyars so nobles

     Discuss the contours of the system.


     As the old woman saw the old man -

     Frowned sternly and said:

     "Go-ka alive to the fish

     I do not want to know about formats

     And give the car the team

     I want to communicate with voice and whistle

     How to think - let it and sing

     And to me your fish served

     And would I have for transactions "

     .............