DonNews #15 16 июля 2001

Юмор

:) - Humor

  ... here today is not very thick, but
a couple of cool pieces there ...



(C) The Rock


     Than a computer is like a man?

__________________________________________


  1. Considers himself smart, but can not do without my mother.

  2. Tknesh finger - he starts.

  3. Requires a lot of toys and lotions.

  4. Always wants to get into the network.

  5. He still falls with an enviable Periodicity.

  6. To him it is better not come back.

  7. And strives to ask a stupid question.

  8. Likes to be with him and blew dust
washed with alcohol.

  9. Does not make abrupt changes in voltage.

  10. First freezes, then dies

  11. Complains of lack of memory, although
Indeed lack of brains.

  12. Burchi, when his ship.

  13. Sam can do nothing: it all depends on
who uses it.

  14. When tired of putting it in order, finally realize - is 
cheaper to get a new one. 

__________________________________________


... And as usual KLIM-ovsky collection of anecdotes ...

__________________________________________


Lieutenant wakes up in the morning in a tent after
terrible drinking the hussars and the local whores. Pops out 
and says: - Lord, but a fog today ...

- Lieutenant, remove from head Gandon!



             -+-+-+-+-+

Lieutenant Rzhevskii Natasha walk in the woods.
That something is silent, and Natasha ties
conversation:

  - Lieutenant, see how good here:
the sun is shining, the birds are singing ...

  Lieutenant revived:

  - Oh! Speaking of the bird: my friend
Cornet on dick placed five thrushes and
three sparrows ...

  Natasha:

  -Lieutenant, fu ... As you are straight ...

  -O! Incidentally, the straightness: when
My friend the cornet fuck a cow, her horns
straighten out!

  - Stop! You have a vacuum in the head!

  - Oh! Speaking of vacuum: when my friend
Cornet pulls dick out of the cow, she sucks a haystack ...



             -+-+-+-+-+

Natasha Rostov thinks of Lieutenant puzzle
- Lieutenant, guess-ka: what-a small, grayish, a sexual crack - 
sniffing! The lieutenant hesitated:

- Natasha, but it is unseemly, um ...
- Lieutenant, what you have, it's a mouse!
Lieutenant surprise removes his pince-nez:
- Mouse? In the pussy? Originally, sir!



             -+-+-+-+-+

Natasha Rostov danced at a ball with Lieutenant
Rzhevsky.

    - Lieutenant, you breath stinks!

    - Here are bastards! Again, the soul of shit!



             -+-+-+-+-+

Lieutenant Rzhevskii love to confess his hussars
sleep.

    - I was walking through the woods and see ...

    - Ass! - Hussars shouted, well
knowing the style of lieutenant.

    - No, I see a small house, and so
I went up to the house and see ...

    - Ass! - Scream Hussars.

    - No, the door, I go, I mean in
this door and see ...

    - Ass! - Scream Hussars.

    - Yes - a loss Lieutenant Rzhevskii - and
that I have already told this dream?



             -+-+-+-+-+


  Beat once ants elephant, beat him
beat, then one of the ants climbed up a tree
and yells:

  -Hey, guys, dismissed! " I told him right now
ridge will break!



             -+-+-+-+-+


    The woman buried her husband.

    The next day, she mistakenly bring tellegramu:

    "Got good. Uzhasnoe.Tseluyu Sunshine.

                                     Waiting. "



             -+-+-+-+-+


  So why, when ssysh, the last drop
 always trysy?

  Potomy that hyy can not do so:

                               x x x tfy!



             -+-+-+-+-+


  Is a drug addict in the desert. Towards the Be
  Duino, a camel.

  - Hey, man, what's going on here - ice?

  - What are you doing, ohrenel which there ice?

  - In kind: so much sand was poured!



             -+-+-+-+-+


    Two best friends sitting at the bar ... Passes
by stunning maiden one another:
- A week would not eat, drink ... Just to sleep with her ...

    A friend hears the case, turns,
says:
- Easy! If a week is not eating, not drinking - I
give myself to you.

    Shorter leads fellow home, closes the cabinet. A week, a 
friend lets the body out of the closet, undress, lies on the 
bed, said pier, bear me .. A man comes to the girl, touching

chest and a sigh:
- Soft .... How hlebushek ...



             -+-+-+-+-+

Vasily Ivanovich and Petka spotted a submarine.
- Petya, dive, find out whose!
Popped up, Petya shouted:
- China.
- Why?
- At her Chinese characters.
- You're a fool, Petka, now all the boats
Chinese characters, dive again.
Petya again dives. After 10 min pops up and says:
- English.
- Why?
- I listened, speaking English.
- You're a fool, Petka, now English -
international language, dive again.
After 5 minutes, Petya emerges:
- Chukotka, Vasily Ivanovich.
- Why?
- Yes, I knocked, they opened up.



             -+-+-+-+-+

At school, drug addicts (Y) chitel in Russian
language makes the task:
(Y): - So as children. Got grass.
(The children got)
Scored jamb.
(Detizabili)
Hurting.
(Hurting children)
Smoked
(Children smoked)
Now write an essay about pink elephants.
Vovochka: - I do not see pink elephants: (
(Y): - repeat the task.
Got grass.
(The children got)
Scored jamb.
(Children scored)
Hurting.
(Hurting children)
Smoked
(Children smoked)
Now write an essay about pink elephants.
Vovochka: - I do not see pink elephants: ((
(Y): - The last time I repeat.
Got grass.
(The children got)
Scored jamb.
(Children scored)
Hurting.
(Hurting children)
Smoked
(Children smoked)
Now write an essay on "Why
Vovochka golimy Plan



             -+-+-+-+-+

The hacker tells his son a fairy tale: - "... was
He _klikat_ goldfish ... "
- And why the fish?
- And because the mice did not yet exist.


... Yet all, in other times would be more ...