Nicron #39 19 июня 1997

Самиздат

Humor - short stories and poems from 5 "A".

           5 "A" is ...



          Steep Gingerbread Man, or The Return of Russian-style


(C) Yuri Morozov,
5 "A" class of 91-th school

        Gingerbread Man and the market economy
            (A parody of the fairy tale)


   In a certain kingdom, in some countries once lived an old man
the old woman. They lived, not bemoaned. The old woman haggling
"Rothmans" near a subway Arbatskaya old man drove down jackets 
and cud of friendly Tridevyatomu kingdom States. Once,

on returning afar, the old man asked the old lady bun for lunch.
"You're that old, henbane stuffed? Come, drink Hershey, look,
feel better. "And the old man a fist on the table hryas:" I'm 
tired of these Overseas sneakers, diapers! Reduces the insides 
of the Hotdog - blendameda them no! I want people's kitchen, 
and that's it! ". Well, do nothing; old woman wandered to the 
wholesale market, according to their tents scraped, susekam 
combed, but the recipe my grandmother and she remembered 
something. In short, baked bun concrete, round, ruddy, and

radiates health. Only my grandfather opened his mouth, lip 
roll, and bun and said human voice: "Well, you, daddy, wrong! Y

us, inter-alia, democracy, ponimash. I am, damn it, too, right
I have to vote. "grabbed grandfathers pager was gone.

   Bun rolled rolls - lo and behold, met a hare-rocker on
motorcycle: "Healthy, Bald, I Squint!'ll hang out?" - "Uh-uh,
my grandmother dopekla, grandfather of goods; I faded from them 
and from you faded, count up!. "Hare took the bandanna and 
rolled on, only it and see. There to meet him Grey 
Wolf-racketeer: "Hey, bald, well, you're cool. Come to an arrow 
with Koptevo, 'll be our secret psychological weapon. "-" Ha! 
For Elaeagnus hold on! I'm his grandmother with my grandfather 
left, from the Hare and faded from you coiled, count up!. "He 
took the wolf and black sunglasses on rolled, just him and see. 
Rolling past the bar - remember grandmother "Phantom", wanted 
to drink. And just then Lisa Sweet voice beckoning: "Come, 
bald, relax, sing a song. We have Coca-Cola, slot machines, 
Bucks!. "Here is our Gingerbread nearly lohanulsya and cunning 
fox is not hooked, as suddenly on his stomach something 
squeaked. These were the sounds Dedova Pager "Motorola". The 
connection came Grandma: "I believe that love, I wait. 
Refrigerate two cans of "Vimto". Zina.. "-" Bored, putter; 
uneven hour of boredom pozeleneet, no "as" not help, "- he 
sighed bun and rolled home. 



            The Queen of Spades ... not quite Pushkimu


(C) T. Enaev,
5 "A" class of 91-th school

    A parody of Pushkin's "Queen of Spades
            (Abridged)


... The study is part of Yeltsin and Lebed said:
- Boris Nikolayevich, you know the three winning cards?
- Yes.
Cygnus gets revolver:
- What?
- Three, seven and ace.
Lebed leaves.
Later in the casino playing cards Swan, Gorbachev, Zhirinovsky
and others.
- Troika - says Swan and shows the map.
Everyone is wondering.
- Seven.
All start singing: "... Tonight you, but tomorrow I ...".
After Swan says:
- Ace.
- Your lady bits - Rybkin said.
- Ka-ak!
From the darkness comes Yeltsin:
- Look raspelis - "Today you, tomorrow I !"... Today I

  and tomorrow I am!



                        Guts ?!...


(Signature illegible)
5 "A" class of 91-th school

       Parody on a poem of Nekrasov "Troika"

        What are you staring hungrily into the fridge
        Aside from the hungry girlfriends?
        The bell, known as stomach alarm clock
        And the dinner broke out in memory at once.

        With sausage you running quickly
        From raced three vosled.
        At her, arms akimbo beautiful
        Carnivore looked cornet ...

        To gaze upon it is no wonder,
        Love her just do not mind.
        Sweeps smell wonderful smoked,
        To which he is hunt ...

        Through its dark glow intestine
        Breaks fat snowball
        And on a section of a semicircular
        Pistachio green eye.

        Opinion one poperchennoy Darkie,
        Full charms, kindle the blood,
        The old man's ruin at the counter,
        At the heart of young men throw love.