Maximum #01 08 июня 1996

Юмор

Jokes - 16 jokes.

                      * JOKES *


    Sits a boy in the sandbox and builds kulichiki. Passes

  man and accidentally stepping on kulichik. Malchik:

    - You Th man? Sdurel or what?

    - And by the pope palm?

    - And in the face with a shovel?


                             *


    Professor-surgeon pronounces a young intern:

    - How many times have I asked you not to make the cuts so

  deep. You have three tables spoiled.


                             *


    The taxi driver, fearing looters, carries with it whole. 
Planted 

  two in the back seat and drove. His one

  asked, touching the shoulder:

    - Chef, smoke is not there? His taxi driver over the head 
with a crowbar 

  and asks the second:

    - You too?

    - No, we're one for two smoke.


                             *


    - Accused! You acknowledge that struck the victim

  ashtray?

    - Yes to confirm.

    - And where do you find an ashtray on the street?

    - Yes ... there ... at the bus stop was.


                             *


    Chukchi comes to the hairdresser.

    - How do you cut? Shaved or hair done?

    - Bald.

    Chukchi hair cut, he looks at himself in the mirror:

    - However, I do not like naked, do my hair.


                             *


    Chukchi stops the machine:

    - Machine in the Tundra is going?

    - No!

    - A trailer?


                             *


    Drunk goes over the bridge and hear the cries from below.

    - Help! Drowning! Help! The drunk leans over

  railing and said:

    - We must krichat: "Save me, please!"


                             *


    One Georgian married a young girl. Morning after

  married his mother asks:

    - How young? The blood she had?

    - What are you, Mom. That I have a dagger or what?


                             *


    Sitting on the beach hairy Georgians. To him suitable boy

  and asks:

    - Uncle, you popuas?

    - Yes, boy, I'm in the ass ass, and in front - the master.


                             *


    Cussing two Georgian. One:

    - I'll have!

    - I love you twice had. First:

    - And you're so fine - fine grits know? So I'll

  had two sacks.


                             *


    Stirlitz knew better once overhear a hundred times

  hear.


                             *


    Stirlitz was not a sadist, and even Bormann not planted

  button on the electric chair.


                             *


    The bullet hit Stirlitz in the head. "Explosive" - ​​pitched

  Stirlitz brains.


                             *


    Wife to her husband:

    - Darling, let's buy a car. Let us see the light.

    - What? This or that?


                             *


    Standing man. Mutters under his breath:

    - 21,21,21,21,21 ... To him comes the other and says:

    - What are you mumbling? He hits it further:

    - 22,22,22,22,22 ...


                             *


    A guy walks into a meat department store. During a dragging

  Huge suitcase. Suited to the counter and says:

    - Chop me sausage 2 lbs. Saleswoman cut down his

  sausage and asks:

    - And now what?

    - And now to throw out a suitcase! Saleswoman dumped

  sausage in his suitcase. NZ suitcase heard:

    - Hrum, hrum, hrum ...

    - Lord, what is there with you? - Astonished woman.

    - I do not know! But like sausage.