Nicron #18 31 января 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

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                  Jokes

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(C) DELEALAN

              *

An elderly man goes into a brothel: - I need this,
so that I could do with it whatever I want. - Mark, spend
gentleman in 6 rooms. After a while the client runs out of
Rooms: - What do you want me slipped snotty girl! - Mark
Change the doll she had already packed.

              *

Petya decided to Chapaev go into the room with laughter. Come 
and look: next room sex. - Petya, you go into the room sex

and I'll go into the room with laughter. Comes Petya's room 
sex, see: in the middle of the room stands a large globe, and 
above the globe is naked woman and the inscription: "Who me 
climb, that I give myself." Petya began to climb, the ball is 
spinning and Petya all the time flies. An hour later, Petka 
leaves, angry, angry, and Basil Ivanovic with laughter dies. - 
Well, Petka, but now let you go into the room with laughter, 
but I'm going into the room sex. Petya comes in room with 
laughter. Range is empty. Looking hole in the wall. Petka in lo 
and behold this little hole, and there Vasily Ivanovich on the 
globe climbs. 

              *

Vasily Ivanovich said: - Petka, giving you a task - to deliver
here ten girls, but that they were all virgins!
Got it? - Got it! "A week wait. A week later, Petya leads
ten girls. - Petya, stripped of all, I'll look. - Yes
whom you gave me, Petya! - Shouted Vasili Ivanovich - they
All poporchennye. - It can not be tested himself.

              *

The taxi driver brought the girl in the specified location. The 
girl had nothing to pay, and she offers to pay in kind. Cabbie

puts it under a car and a policeman trahaet.Podhodit: - What do 
you doing here? - Like that, the car repair. - Before

repair the car, you need to put it on the handbrake, and then
She won much rolled away.

              *

Taxi Driver lucky girl. She puts her feet on the dashboard. -
Girl, remove legs from the panel, it's awful ugly. She
disdainfully looking at it: - Some men have the honor to these
feet kissing. - Well, excuse me, please, but some
Girls, I have the honor to a member of suck, so not on the hood 
of me dump him.


              *

The husband learns that his wife is unfaithful. Once he comes 
home and tells his wife that he was leaving on a business trip. 
Itself becomes at site above. The wife comes out of the 
apartment for a lover, husband comes into the apartment and 
hides behind a wardrobe. They come together, drank and ate, he 
fucked her. She says to him: - Baby make me laugh so I 
upisyalas. Lover began to bare flat run and jump. Then on the 
bed, then jumps on the table, then at the closet and suddenly 
it directly from the cabinet in the window. She yells to him: - 
Honey, where are you, I upisyalas! - Look for the cabinet, so 
you and usreshsya!


              *

Ride on horseback Ilya of Murom, Nikitich and Alyosha Popovich.
Look, Ivan the Fool over Humpbacked Horse sobs. Asked in
What's the matter.
Woe to me, skate-humpback died. They went further. Looking
the royal palace stands.

     Alesha and says:

     - Go to the princess, can smile at me luck.

     Comes and says: "Be my wife!"

     And she asked him:

     - You have two sticks for?

     - Put.

     - And three?

     - Put.

     - A five?

     - I do not know.

     - Get out of here. Decided to try his luck Dobrynushka:

     - Be my wife.

     She told him:

     - Five sticks for?

     - Put.

     - And eight?

     - Put.

     - A ten?

     - I do not know.

     - Get out of here. Comes to the princess Ilya:

     - Be my wife.

     - You have ten sticks to throw?

     - Brochu.

     - A thirteen?

     - Brochu.

     - A fifteen?

     - I do not know.

     - Get out of here. They left with nothing. Go home. Look 
and 

       Ivanushka sobs. They said to him:

     - Fool, go to the princess, can you happy smile.

       So he went. Comes in and says:

     - Be my wife.

     - And you fifteen sticks for?

     - Put.

     - A twenty?

     - Put.

     - A thirty?

     - Delivered!

     - And forty?

     - Are you a fool, I stick a 39-horse-humpback was dead!

              *

A young couple comes to the sex therapist. The husband 
complains that they recently married, but due to lack of 
experience, he does not know what to do with his wife. Doctor 
invites his wife to lie on the couch and demonstrates the 
husband of his marital duties. - Now you understand that you 
have to do with your wife? - Asks the doctor. Oh yes, doctor! 
But if you'll be busy sometimes, to whom I then fight it.


              *

The patient calls the doctor back home: - On the mountain! My 
son got sick scarlet fever. The most terrible thing is that he 
caught kissing our maid. The doctor reassuringly: - Do not 
worry, young People always act rashly. Patient: - The trouble 
is, I also kissed the girl. The doctor in amazement: - Here's 
your on! This is very bad. Patient: - Worse than that, I kiss 
my wife Every morning and every evening, I'm afraid that she 
... Doctor alarm: - O God! That means I might get sick ...