Think #04 30 августа 1997

Юмор

Jokes - 14 jokes.

                JOKES



    "Crocodile" - "Smiles of different latitudes"



  Call the police.

  - Urgent outfit on the Boulevard des Capucines, House
five, fourth floor, left. Wife beating husband with anything. 
And the horrible screams. 

  - Call prinyat.Naryad send. And who are you,
neighbor?

  - No. I am the husband.



    - Darling, you'll be very pleased with me. I drove three 
times at a red light, and I never nobody fined. On the money 
saved, I bought myself three new cap.




  The buyer comes to the pet shop and
exasperation says to the seller:

  - When I bought a parrot, you are assured
me that he was speaking, and he all day
silent.

  - Do you have a woman in the house?

  - Even the two.

  - Ah ... Then listen to the parrots at night.



  To convict on death attackers came
priest.

  - My son, confess their sins
to the door of paradise is not remained closed
for you ...

  - What? Yes, there are no doors that I
could not open!



  - If you stop drinking, I will appoint a department head.

  - Do not bother sebya.Kogda I drink, I imagine myself by the 
CEO. 



  - What is it, why are you so angry?

  - Just call my new husband's ex-wife and threw a tantrum, why 
am I in three years has taught her to cook the soup with 
meatballs! 



  At the police station, the phone rings.

  - To help, help! - Can be heard in
tube. - Help!

  - Now we leave - says inspektor.No what happened?

  - The room broke into a cat!

  - Pardon, monsieur, but because of such trifles do not bother 
the police. Who are you? 

  - How is who? The parrot, of course!



   The wife was away and called her husband:

   - How is my cat?

   - Died.

   - What a mess! Surely you could not tell me about it 
delicately! For example, it is supposedly sitting on the roof. 
And only then would you said that she fell and broke. 
Understand? 

  - Absolutely.

  - And my mother?

  - Sitting on the roof ...



    Two ladies talking about marriage.

    - I think - says one - that
Marriage resembles a mirage in the desert - with
palaces, palm trees and camels. Then disappears palace, 
followed by palm trees, and finally remain with one camel.




  Milkman. You top up the water today in the milk?

  NEW henchmen. Yes, sir.

  Milkman. Do not you know it
immoral?

  Assistants. Yes, sir, but you said yourself ...

  Milkman. I told you that you must first pour a can of water, 
and then add back the milk. Then we in good conscience can say 
that does not dilute the milk with water. 



  - You told Eve that she was a fool. And now
pleased to say that you're sorry about this -
mother says her son.

  - Eva, I am very sorry that you're a fool ...



  Zhenivshemusya doctor recently called and invited colleagues 
to a game of bridge. 

  - Emergency call - explained the doctor, then hung up.

  - There is something very serious? - Asked
Alarmed by the young wife saw her husband
hastily dressed.

  - Yes, extremely! Three doctors there already!


  In the pet store.

  - I need 276 bugs, 524 Cockroach, 18
mice and 5 rats.

  - Why?

  - I was evicted from the house and demand that
I left it in the same condition as it was prior to my arrival.

 The company announced a contest for the best deal on the 
economy. Prize winner owed 25 pounds. Won a Scotsman, which is 
proposed to reduce the award to 10 pounds.