ZX-News #42 27 сентября 1998

Юмор

Humor - Guessing on cockroaches.

                 Humor



                          Alexei Andreev,

   Newspaper "St.-Petersburg Vedomosti", 09.12.1998


           Guessing to cockroach


  All people love to speculate. Only one safely
admit it and others do not. But to
speculate on a strictly scientific basis, we need certain 
adaptations that are not there is always at hand. For example, 
to speculate on coffee grounds - should be coffee, not instant, 
and natural to read the cards - you need special cards to 
speculate on the book - you need at least one book, to 
speculate on the palms of the hands - hands need clean (hot 
heart and a cool head for divination is not required), and to 
speculate on the bump on skull - need - what? - Correctly, head,

and yet still desirable bald. And so on ... And all this in the 
house may not Search


  What to do then? In this case there are special kinds of 
divination using the most common materials at hand. One of them 
- guessing at the cockroach - and we Today we offer to our 
readers. So ...



  Catch a cockroach in the kitchen and carefully
to him unattended.

  If a cockroach vigorous and healthy, so
at home you have everything in order.

  If a cockroach weakly - Get your
wife: it is bad feeds you.

  If a cockroach is strictly black - you
waiting for a promotion.

  If the red-haired cockroach - in love with you
Blond.

  If the cockroach is green - it's a great
money in hard currency.

  If the cockroach moves his mustache all the time -
You are a man active, energetic, can not sit idle.

  If a cockroach froze - you philosopher, recluse.

  If a cockroach only occasionally twitches
- You have to frequently visit the open air.

  If the cockroach has a surprise appearance - around a little 
you appreciate them. 

  If a cockroach scared - you're a person who knows how to 
insist on his own. 

  If the cockroach is bright blue, horned and
says the man's voice - congratulations, you have delirium 
tremens. 


  Now measure the cockroach.

  If the width is less than one centimeter a cockroach - you 
can rely on family life. 

  If the length of a cockroach than three centimeters - you're 
a man looking. 

  If the wingspan is the length of a cockroach
your nose - you're a person curious.

  If a cockroach mustache is much shorter
another - you have not yet implemented all of its
opportunities.

  If the total length of the whiskers is a cockroach
sesquioxide length of his body, multiplied by
square root of the diameter of its belly and
divided by the logarithm of the number of his feet -
you thorough and meticulous person.

  If cockroach legs are evenly distributed throughout the body 
- you just case seem a psychiatrist.


  If the length of the cockroach is equal to its width - it 
means a bug. 


  Release the cockroach.

  If it will run from you in a straight line - you have
everything is still ahead.

  If he starts to rush from side to
side - fear of random acquaintances.

  If he will run to the left - you will be an exciting 
encounter with the beautiful stranger. 

  If he will run right - Get the affairs of service: you 
podsizhivayut. 

  If he would rush back to you - you are an interesting person 
who can charm anyone. 

  If he does not run, then he
died.

  Catch the next cockroach and start
all over again.


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