01 января 1994

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                    -=By Bogie of Extacy-3=-                    
                                                                
Hello boys and girls, welcome to Read-A-Long Poetry Corner!!! In
this article I shall write some of my favorite and funniest     
poems and limericks that I know! First of all I shall start     
with a very thoughtful one.....                                 
                                                                
                In days of old, and years gone by               
                   When women weren't invented                  
              Men drilled holes in telegraph poles              
                And stood there quite contented.                
                                                                
            (I still know people who do that!!!!)               
                                                                
                                                                
                I knew a young man from Kentucket               
             Whose dick was so long he could suck it            
                       He said with a grin                      
                    As he wipped off his chin                   
              If my ear was a cunt i could fuck it.             
                                                                
                      (Thats me that is!!!)                     
                                                                
                                                                
                      The story of my life!                     
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                I chatted up this girl last night               
                      She never said a word                     
                   I repeated all my questions                  
                     Incase she hadn't heard                    
                 I thought she might be foreign                 
                  Or deaf, or drunk, or loaded.                 
                  Until I lit a match too close                 
                  And the silly bitch exploded!                 
                                                                
                                                                
                     Mary had a little lamb                     
                       She also had a duck                      
                  She put them on the fireplace                 
                    And told them not to Fuck                   
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                     Mary had a little lamb                     
                     She tied it to a pylon                     
                  10,000 Volts went up its ass                  
                  And turned its wool to nylon.                 
                                                                
               Little Willie in the best of sashes              
           Played with the fire and was burnt to ashes          
               Now although the room grows chilly               
            We haven't the heart to poke poor Willie.           
                                                                
                        Here lies my wife                       
                        Here let her lie                        
                       Now she's at peace                       
                          And so am I.                          
                                                                
                The bomb he set went off too soon               
                    And here his story ceases                   
               The bits they found are buried here              
                   And so he rests in pieces.                   
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                     
                                                                
                              Rugby                             
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                When I first played I nearly died               
                 The bitter memory still rankles                
               They formed a scrum with me inside               
              Some kick my balls and some my ankles             
                 I did not like the game at all                 
                Yet after the harm they'd done me               
                  Whenever I came near the ball                 
             They knocked me down and stood upon me.            
                                                                
                                                                
               Teacher heard her class all scream               
               So she pushed them all in a stream               
                Shouting as she plunged the third               
             "Children should be seen ... not heard"            
                                                                
                                                                
                        Poem for Keeners!                       
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                       On the next page!!!                      
                        It's friday night                       
                       I'm full of sorrow                       
                       Because there'll be                      
                       No school tomorrow.                      
                                                                
                        It's Monday morn                        
                         Away with pain                         
                        Because I'm going                       
                        To school again.                        
                                                                
                                                                
                The tutor who taught us the flute               
            Tried to teach two young tooters to toot            
                    Said the two to the tutor                   
                    'is it harder to toot or                    
                  To tutor two tooters to toot?                 
                                                                
              (Try saying that after 15 pints!!!!)              
                                                                
                                                                
              I'm sorry but thats all for now!!!!!!             
                                                                
                                                                
                                                           End.