01 января 1994

          >>>>> Things To Avoid Saying When Drunk <<<<<         
                                                                
                    -= By Gwi Of Extacy-3 =-                    
                                                                
                                                                
It's always the same, you wake up with an absolute donkey of a  
hangover, and slowly and surely as your very fragile head begins
to remember the night before, here are some of the things you   
hope you never said or done!                                    
                                                                
01: I'd shag your sister.                                       
                                                                
02: Was that your mother I saw you in town with?                
                                                                
03: The more I drink, the better looking you get!               
                                                                
04: Do not start indefinite theory conversations like "Is your  
    brain infinite or is there a limit to what you can learn or 
    remember?" as this makes everyone try to think, and being   
    drunk you and you're friends can't quite manage a structured
    debate, and so convey their frustration as violence, usually
    towards each other, and then toward you for starting it.    
                                                                
05: It is not a good idea to put a 2p in a condom and then drop 
    it in your mates guinness and then wait beside him and laugh
    when he finishes his pint.                                  
                                                                
06: Be Sick.                                                    
                                                                
07: Be sick over the balcony onto the dance floor.              
                                                                
08: After leaving the club, avoid going to the chippy with the  
    express intention of starting a curry/gravy/chip fight and  
    generally abusing the girls behind the counter.             
                                                                
09: If dining in a stationary car, it is not a good idea to     
    shout verbal abuse at people through the window.  Just      
    because you don't know them, it doesn't stop them from      
    reaching in and punching you violently in the face!         
                                                                
Lastly the following things are best not said in a group        
situation.                                                      
                                                                
10: I wish I could get a stiffy!                                
                                                                
11: I had the most amazing wank last night!                     
                                                                
12: Look boy's I'm sorry I wank, I'm a wanker, just wanted to   
    get that straight! (All of the above can lead to you walking
    home alone, and not getting anywhere near a taxi).          
                                                                
I'm only guilty of a few of these, but when all's said and done,
it's been a good night regardless if you wake up with your arms 
around a traffic cone!                                          
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                            End.