Buzz #14 29 апреля 1998

Юмор

Humor - watch commander with zuboneppokusaemym pemeshkom smeptnym and fight ...

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                   And a little more ADVERTISEMENT:


            PART Li K O M A H D & R C K & E

               zuboneprokusaemym with strap

                     and Johansen

Hours are 8 arrows. Four of them show the time remaining
spare, to confuse potential enemy. Arrows
covered with a special composition, blagodyarya that they glow 
in the the dark and used to dazzle the enemy. Dose izducheniya

enough for radiation damage in a radius of 200 meters.
For simplicity, the angle between the hour and minute hands are 
always is direct.


All gears are made hours of the most modern
transistors and circuits. In the manufacture of hours used
Best Western technology: explosion welding, riveting gas
assembly sober. Gold-plated watch case galvanized tungsten
encrusted fur and filled with cement. Product quality
flushing mechanism is provided soup, dried and friction
checking vremyanem.

Hours of commanding the factory with a half-turn, in the 
northern areas country to them is attached a special pen for 
the plant to frost. If ingestion of sand hours they will begin 
work as sand. Possible filling coal, current hay. Winding of a 
gas station on the reading of signals of exact time is not 
affected. 

In a combat situation automatically clockwork
delayed action, and the clock starts ticking. At a critical
time the commander can throw them in the direction of the 
enemy. At the same time built-in speaker beeps commanding 
voice: "Follow me! In attack! "Deadly force is preserved during 
the whole trip. In the dark hours in a whisper said: "Do not 
worry, I'm with you!". In Surrounded eat himself. In other 
cases, share it with a friend. In the battle to feed our 
enemies and make built-in alarm clock Kashpirovsky his wet work.


Package Contents: Qty:
Cheka (Watch Commander) on the arm .................... 1
WPRA (podzavodKi handle the cold) on cold .......... 1
PE (Front Cover) to the parade ...................... 1
Emergency (Cover Table) on the clock ....................... 1
HP (Lopata Sapper) on track ................... 2
NC (Reserve Neprekosnovenny) on posashok ........ 0,33
CAT (commander Cloak Tents) just in case ... 1
BTR (Self-propelled akkomulyatornaya BoTaReyka) on track 1
STOP (Tara packaging commander) does not provide a
Total: (Individual Current GOrantiya) ....... 9sht033l

The warranty is valid for the duration of work hours.
Warranty workshops:
1) PO Box N 2000 Dovostrebovagiya.

Buy watch commander! This will be the most pleasant hours in
your life! Buying a watch commander you buy a friend
the whole otavshuyusya life!

Min.Zdrav. warns: Tested on ranks.
UN: Watch banned for use against civilian
population.


                         P R O D A M:
* Air conditioners "Last Breath", which provides a vacuum in the

  room for 8 seconds
* Toilet bowl with a direct outflow of the drain bachek
* Gas ​​chamber, converted for the preparation of pies

  with meat
* Tea-service "Chefir, coffee service," Kefir ", soup

  service "greedily" barbecue "Sunshine"
* 2-volume edition of "Pearls of the People's stupidity"
* Bicycles "Schoolboy", "Student", "graduate", "Dean"
* Spiral filament female
* New shell ear, a white, porcelain
* Puppy Middle Asian, South African,

  long-Moorish shepherds, as well as rocks Russian thieves
* Length denim boots on
* Vietnamese (Vietnam), the Czech (Czech Republic) burkas shaped

  (Burkina Faso) and boots (Valka on the commission earned)
* Dengosos "Racket"
* Muslim-edged boards
* Camouflage jacket lined with tar paper
* Matyuk - wholesale, for all occasions
* Wooden ties with pin-bumps and zip-squirrel
* Black and white TV, "Rainbow"
* Boxing gloves from the swan's down
* Cordless telephone for the deaf
* Refrigerator "Africa-8"
* Boots soluble
* Lek.Dermohrenolin a loaf
* Locker under the piano
* Bike Desna-2 with handlebars Glanda-3
* Pipeline Urengoy-Pomary-Uzhgorod, samovykop
* Acne mosquito injections
* Pot with one handle, two noses and three mouths.

  eyes absent
* TV in black and white, red and blue, zhovto-Blakitnaya
* New solid corner
* Chair konchalku
* Loofah with program management
* Chainsaw "Hostility"
* Metallic scarf
* Cigarette filling
* Precast house 7h10 m, 2 floors, 5 rooms, 3 roof, 8 inputs
(5 blacks, 2 whites and 1 front), 3 inputs to the turnstiles 
and 6 with barriers. 05/17 windows with views of the cellar, 
garage for 3 excavator, the house spiral runway to

paper airplanes and sandbox 9x12 meters, filled with gravel.
House is going 3-generations
* Knitting machine "Neva-YES" for knitting knots
* Spy drain pipe
* Hearing aids (stereo with equalizer and the ability to

  repeat heard)
* Patent leather high-heeled flipper
* Double coffin
* Puppy nem.ovcharki rolls 15 sq.m
* Direction indicators home (there are wild)
* Engagement ring in his nose
* Panties of toilet paper
* Dolbatelnuyu typewriter "Woodpecker"
* Imported cigarettes with low-frequency filter and automatic

  injection of nicotine into the lungs
* Batch import of waste
* Hair color of sunsets on o.Honsyu (min.partiya 30 pieces)
* Putty Donald
* Mink coat cropped at "zero"
* Bagel-gum from natural Moscow GUM
* Color photo-album "Leaning Tower". bashlyat in Pisani
* Couch galvanized 1x1x1 with padding of rod

  liners and bearings of Indigenous Australian
* Officers calf boots with ski bindings
* Plastic raincoat rain parkas
* Drum roll
* Pish.mashinku Yatran: rus.shrift, wide carriage, wide

  keys. cool thing, but the handwriting is awful
* Dog, a boxer, the power 3 wire
* Accordion for spare parts
* Det.kolyasku "Malvina" det.gorshok "Pinocchio" and diapers

  Papa Carlo
* Siphon and tablet Trykhopol thereto
* VERY soft corner "Prodavlinka"
* Piano, Ukraine - 5 MGB Memory
* Foot child with centrifuge
* Observation pit 3x5 in the women's bath for $
 - His wife, along with boots (C) Lenya Golubkov
 - Artificial nature's gifts
 - Socks with braces
 - Shorts with hood


                          For Sale:
 - Washing machine on tracks. Caterpillars are green,

   frozen. To ride with washing across the tundra.
 - Delusions of decency. Home, does not bite.
 - Vacuum Cleaner with Auto Reverse.
 - Thread for climbers of "Hold me a straw, hold"
 - Alcohol BesPohmelny firm goes goby, tottering. " For devils,

   suffering from a hangover.
 - Digger without wheels.
 - English-Russian dictionary in German.
 - Bomb the unpredictable actions with delayed administration.
 - Poison instant action. The minimum lot of 1 ton.
Add a teaspoon of tea 3 times a day for 10
years. Production: domestic plant "Kiss me, ... not
poison "under license from Proctor 'Gambel.
That's because we care about you and your health.
 - Protective, bullet-proof, waterproof, fireproof

  screen directional. Warranty - 3 years. Environmentally

  pure product.
 - A portable radio telephone for field work. Built-in

   excavator, a machine gun. Power from nuclear power.
 - Unbreakable mirrors, no black cats, spiral stairs, etc.
 - Flattened Bear with the inscription of oil paint on his head

   "Intel inside".


                         BUY:
* Gas ​​balloon with a sexually transmitted disease
* A copy of the Great Wall of China at 1:1
* Automobile Glass "Razpleks", "Dvapleks", "Triplex"
* Manual juicer "Othello"
* Baby stroller with enameled lid
* Fiberglass and patterns for sewing a diving suit
* Women's shoes for a boy
* Book with transparent letters
* Children's albums for coloring PLAYBOY
* Sugar (two dune)
* Panamku iron with a hole for pigtails
* Fog flashers for the miners' ambulance
* Men's suit (a double-breasted, three-deck)
* Bag of black caviar
* Children's rattles, with 20 decibels
* Toffee with inserts
* Urinals under Gzhel
* Guide to sausage pruning
* Floppy disks for domestic timber accounts
* New bags under your eyes
* Rubberized wedding dress
* Gold-plated chain to the bike, "Ukraine"
* Pish.mashinku Yairan with Arabic script
* Straitjacket r.44 jaunty colors
* Insulting acid (cysts).
* Coffee in capsules
* Window frames with sea views
* Consignment of cigarettes, "the President, please do not 
offer" Kravchuk and 

  "Boris Yeltsin"
* Slate of one-wave
* Set for manual molding otmazok
* Tsv.tv. Electron, Proton, Neutron, "with a gamma emitter for

  Atomic satellite dish
* Cigarette imp.s menthol validol, dimedrolom and Papazol
* Velveteen coat of obbivochnogo
* Enamel for teeth white, 4 banks
* Hose watering "netting"
- Watchdog hamster with three-liter booth
- Two pounds of lemons F-1 (can be used)
- Phone-Kalashnikov
- Vacuum cleaner with a jet engine
- Three-chamber refrigerator, with a capacity of 5.6 or more
- Mnogotonazhny icebreaker ice chisel (for fans of ice fishing)


                           Change:
* Image basket, cardboard - the women's sheepskin coat from

  small sobachenki
* Home - at home behind the hill, or selling
* Officer's coat with a slit on one side - on audiotsentr

  "Samvsun-G"
* Part of the house (on the outskirts of the center) + portion 
of debt - in part 

  Your wife and your income
* Male harmony - on female hormones
* Collie dog (35 years), male - on the skin

  jacket-hornblende
* Country house in the Gaza Strip mined potato field and

  beautiful birch garden-tonne batch of peas and straws

  for spitting
* Moped "Kardilery" - on an electric tiles
* Nails corrugated inlaid with - on points with the

  bulletproof glass
* Rear wings VAZ 2106 - on top of AN-2
* A bag of crocodile Genes - the mantle of Cheburashka
* Shop "Book World" offers a new book:
- Toaster Treasure
- "The Kid and Cavities"
- "The Captain's kidney"
- "Gone with the tornado"
- "Wheezing in the Thorn"
* Chocolate "M'M's" does not melt or in the hands or mouth, or 
in the stomach, 

  because it is made from selected varieties of cellulose and

  Plastic!

Text converted from PC, formated, corrected by Crazy Softvor / 
EI.