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Buzz #11
22 октября 1997 |
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Jokes - 10 jokes ...
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(C) 1997 MELTED SNOW
Several wealthy middle-aged married ladies discuss: what it
is - romance? One says: "Well, why should I kakin affair with a
muzhinoy? After all, he probably will want and sex. "
* * * * *
After a medical examination doctor prescribed medications the
patient and explained how to take them. "In the morning take
the green tablets, and drinks a glass of water. After lunch -
the blue pill with a glass of water. Before going to bed wash
down the red pill yet a glass of water. "
- Doctor, tell me? - Asked the woman.
- Do you drink too little water.
* * * * *
- I think I drank too much - the waiter muttered Robert. -
Please bring me something that I sobered up.
- One moment, - said the waiter. - I'll bring the account.
* * * * *
The car, which traveled three members IBM, a flat tire. They
stopped to decide what to do next. Marketing Manager said:
"With this machine of death. We need new! "Expert servicing
vosrazil:" Wait! Let's swap the nekototye part. Suddenly start
working. "A programmer has offered:" Nope. Let's just turn off,
and then switch it on, maybe this will help. "
* * * * *
At Commercial gas station in Utah, was given
announcement that anyone who refuel on it, get a free
road map. One summer day a car drove up with the numbers
another state. The driver filled the tank of gasoline is only
25 cents and brazenly demanded a free card.
Raised his eyebrows, the owner of filling growled: "Why do you
Card? I can hand to show up any place you bought enough
gasoline. "
* * * * *
My wife tells her husband:
- Honey, I've been listening to advertisements about the
incredible opportunities WINDOWS 95, finally decided to buy it.
- But, my dear, - the man - we do not have the same computer to
work with her. - What computer? - Surprised his wife - in
advertising on this says nothing!
* * * * *
At the beach my husband looks at women in swimsuits. Wife
jealous notes: "Do not forget that you're married."
- If a person on a diet - parries her husband - then it does
not mean that he is forbidden to study the menu.
* * * * *
Before the municipality boy, newsboy, shouting:
"Special Edition" Special Edition "Two deceived!" To him
approached a passerby, I bought a newspaper and sat down to
read. "Hey, the guy - indignantly, "he said a minute later. -
It says nothing of deception. "
-News Flash! - Shouted the boy. - Three deceived!
* * * * *
In the bar the young bachelor has admitted his interlocutor,
middle-aged is looking for a bride. That did not keep a smile.
"The Fortunately, - he said - my daughter just the right age
for marriage. Her eyes doe lips - like a rosebud, ears - coral
shell, swan neck and the voice of a nightingale. It is for you
have the perfect bride. " - I'm not sure - said a bachelor. -
It did not seem to human.
* * * * *
Walking down the street, dog saw an ad in the box office.
"Needs Assistant. Should be able to print at a speed of 70 words
per minute. Computer skills and proficiency in a second language
required. The employer guarantees equal rights to all
candidates. "
The dog gave a statement but then refused. "I can not
take the dog for this job ", - explained the manager. But when
pointed to the last line of announcement, and asked to breath:
"You know how to type? "The dog walked silently to the machine
and immediately printed the letter without any mistakes. "And
with a computer are able to contact? "- did not yield manager.
The dog sat down at a terminal, wrote a program and then
worked in it.
- Look, I'm still not a leg to take the dog for this position -
angrily said the manager. - You have a wonderful skills, but I
need an employee who speaks two languages. About This is stated
in the ad.
The dog looked at the manager and said: "Meow."
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