Acid Paper #01

Юмор

write on the walls of the toilet - aphorisms on desks, walls and in the newspapers. WC as a mirror of the soul.

        It is interesting to read the aphorisms on desks, walls 
and in the newspapers. Better yet, read the collections, one of 
which we and present. Know that Smiryagin - is not only

"Learn to shoot," but a few hundred kilobytes of high-quality
humor!


                      A. Smiryagin

               TOILET AS A MIRROR OF THE SOUL


       Anyone who has ever been in my life in the public
toilet of a school, knows that it is
place, wonderful in all respects. Firstly, it
can be used for its intended purpose. However, this is
not the most important is its function. Second, you can smoke,
but it is a useful quality is of secondary importance
compared with the most important for students party
public loo - to serve the specific information
a bridge between people.

       Each generation of students considered it a rule to leave
its unique record on its walls. And one can not but feel the
respect to this method to communicate time since
This tradition goes back to ancient times and led all of
primitive man first discovered the possibility to express
its unique identity, something nakaryabav
charcoal on the cave walls.

       There is no shadow of doubt about the fact that the 
toilet is first place to sample a pen for all future talent

artists, poets and wits. Ask the famous
artist, and whether he pootkrovennee, he would have admitted 
that began his rise to fame and recognition with a tiny

Pictures indecent content, they scribbled stud
in the school bathroom stall in between times. And whether you
sincere some well-known poet, and he would have told me that
it is here that his first visit to the poetic muse
inspiration. And he will never forget the agonizing hours,
conducted in this institution, in an attempt to find the right 
rhyme to the end "host."


        And it would be foolish not to pay attention to this 
section our culture with you. Because there is no place in the 
world except the toilet, where people are so free in his 
thoughts and manifestations. 

        However, it is enough to theorize, it's time to start 
our review dressing work of one institution of higher education.

Later you will learn what.

        We go into the first door with a sign "M"
enter at random in any booth, and immediately in front of him 
read order: "Turn left". It's hard not comply with the request

expressed in such categorical terms, and curiosity takes
top, turn left. There we read the following statement:
"Turn right". Well, do not throw the same started in the middle
road, turn right, and read almost expected:
"Turn back." But already back and it should finally shine with
painstakingly extracted the truth. Preparing for a meeting with 
this revelation, turns back and read:

"Goat, you come here to write or twirl?"

        As it turns out later, this unconscionable tattoo can
meet every second intimate room. Apparently, she
refers to the so-called toilet classics, with which
familiar to many users of public Closet. Who does not
knows this famous:

Let the walls of our loo
Decorate humor and satire.

    And this immortal:

Write on the walls of toilets
Alas, my friends, is not surprising.
Among the city .. you are all poets
Among the poets you was. "


        "What filth!" - Cry a Puritan. On the contrary,
I say, care about cleanliness and order is not alien and 
writing in walls. Here is an obvious example of worrying about 
you, God forbid, are not missed by:


Come closer - it's shorter than you think.

Or another, became a classic, please follow the order:

Do not throw cigarette butts down the toilet, they are 
difficult after this puff at. 


        Yes, all the same culture and literacy in our nation
became larger. Again, knowledge of foreign languages ​​was not
rare exception. And where but in the closet to show off his
foreign. Yes still on it to share the secret of life
well-being. For example like this:

If you wonna be OK
Fuck your baby every day!

However, not everyone agrees with this statement and write below
Disclaimer:

If you want a lot of pleasure
Fuck your girl ... as sparingly as possible.


        Who is right, can not say. Such everyday
wisdom in the form of short aphoristic sayings abundantly
adorn the walls and doors of almost all of Toilets:

Button up fly, Okhlamanov,
For you watching a spy!

This is not anarchy, this procedure, his mother!

Led the convoy going to the dick!


        Incidentally, an interesting fact. Type of education 
received undoubtedly affect the features of retained messages. 
There labels that can not be found anywhere else except on the

certain departments. For example, this sample
with the Faculty of Law:

Chikatilo, AR 1936-1994 We will remember the coolest guy!

This is a distinguished historian:

Is the truth of the eternal
And repeat, we will again
In Russia, the authorities - a sick gut
Always ready to crap one's pants.

But this truth opened to the world's philosophers:

Who does not masturbate, that does not exist.


        However!

        But the interesting thing is that usually
faculty, has the same
most toilets. Can you imagine what they are experiencing
find the sight of this:

Jerks always Fingering everywhere
Fingering on land and in water.

Some can not hold back his feelings, take out their pens and

Gentlemen, sex maniacs,
Express yourself as something differently,
Or at least not so rude.

However clever the students do not remain in front of professors
in debt. And now, over a urinal flaunts the inscription:

Professor, in your hands your past.

But professors are not born yesterday, and immediately above 
the urinal next deduce the answer:


A student who is in your hands your future.


        Separately dwell on still persist in our
social evil practices of homosexuality. No need to have seven
genius to realize that a public restroom - is
the perfect place to find unconventional relationships. And 
because some of them are just full of slogans such as:


"I want to get acquainted with the blue guy no older than 22 
years. Boris." 

And, of course, phone.


        But do not rush to call him. It is not excluded that
Bora is already over sixty, and he is not gay, but only
poor teacher of the local school, which
more severe than expected student dunce, treated him in the 
exams. 

        However, there are suggestions expressed in the more
witty form. That is, for example:

"I am looking for love and friendship. About: Material puzzled
housing is concerned, sexually assured. "

And here is the poetic izlivaniya blue romance:

"We were able to make friends and something is not bed rest, 
lying side by side hours to talk to you in the night. "


And following some ill-mannered boor summed resume:

"So that you are dead, fagot!"

However, not all agree on that, and someone continues to 
campaign: 

"Guys! Best Sex Blue, believe me!"

Believe him, but are interested in:

- Are you in the mouth you take?

Start corresponding:

- Beru, and another in the ear, nose and throat.
- So you're - ENT.

Correspondence to connect new members:

"Do not take by mouth - Ministry of Health warned!"

Debate is growing and expanding, becoming almost
national discussion about how bad or good:

"And I want to take in your mouth!"
"Do not give that right?"

Here and professors can not hold and connects
to the debate:

"Suck!" How neblagovospitanno "It's just outrageous."

To their indignation, and joined radical
sexual orthodoxy:

"I want to get acquainted with the active or passive homosexual
to give him in the face. "

Or:

"I am looking for a guy - a homosexual. Naidoo - slaughter."

But homosexuals are also not on the alert and respond to attacks
neat hole in the wall leading into the next stall. And to
No one doubted, for which she pointed out a number:

"A hole. SUVA here and take the same here."


        Phew! How disgusting! However, enough of the blue. Talk
more about women's restrooms. The number of inscriptions and 
drawings in the female toilet hardly yield in terms of content 
and quantity toilet male. Some girls even surprised themselves

abundance of inscriptions and exclaim:

- Oh, why do we need these doors?
- To make you a fool, then wrote, - says she is different.

Immediately connects the third, and went, and went:

- And you are not interested in consonance verb "write" and 
"write"? - Sounds great.

- I want love, big and clean!
- Girl! Size is not as important as cleanliness in the conduct 
of 

  sanepidemstantsii.
- I want to work in this sanepidemstantsii. And by the way, I

  not a girl. My soul is too old ...

But the dialogue breaks off roughly cleaner and put a lot of 
work, washes cloth Babskii General Discussion. In vain, the 
next day comes a new label:


- Oh, babonki again have to start all over again - and then 
through 

  the wall displays a cri de coeur: "I am not satisfied!"

By the way, here I must say that unlike male in the female
toilet inscriptions more emotional and lyrical. This is 
understandable, women are more subtle feel and express, 
respectively: 

I'm in love, and life is wonderful, though I know - it is a 
goat. 


        And in general in the women often write about love. 
Someone For example, we finally got her current boyfriend, and 
she willing to part with him, although not free: "For Sale Sofa

with the sailor. "Others continue to this rigmarole with love:" 
I Here I am suffering suffering. I love him, and he is gay. 
"Well, someone has already find out for yourself: "Dura, I now 
tried to sixty-year. This is awesome! "



        Although some splinter and are not restrained, it is 
evident jealous of others' happiness, and added the same drop 
of poison: "He as you shook and shook himself? "Maybe it was 
someone from those below said: "Girls and lesbians here?"


        After reading this, of course you can not restrain an 
exclamation. What a pity that both male and female toilets are 
shared between a! After all, the men's room enough confessions 
of love, which objects of sense, alas, never read. For example,

such sorrowful inscription:

Sasha loves Masha, Masha loves Mambo.

Does not that emanates from this recognition of this human
tragedy? Or a reproach to his girlfriend:

You, Alyonushka painfully proud
Boobs are soft, firm ass.

Can you imagine what could be an interesting tie
correspondence, read Alyonushka is. But most of all I
struck by the inscription in the women's toilet, which would 
not be ashamed decorate them, and men's shelter needs. Here it 
is: 

Vodka cold - the best drink
It warms your soul.
If vodka prevents learning,
Throw to the devil his studies.

Unfortunately, the more records in the women's restroom, I do 
not had since been hounded out came by to smoke

daughters. And to complete this survey want a wonderful
sentence written in one of the toilets and call upon all
visitors toilets of all educational institutions (the last word
changed):

O you who reads this, why are you so stupid?

Only I would also add "and writing".
Yes, I almost forgot. I will only say that all rights to
inscriptions are listed in my study are those toilets
and smoking rooms of the Moscow State University.
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