City #18 09 июля 1999

Юмор

Smiley - jokes about women.

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                     Smiley
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  -Girl, what are you crying?
-Mother drowned kittens!
Yes, sorry.
Of course, sorry, she promised that I drown.


  "When you come home, that could be worse
traces of lipstick on the collar?
-Traces of talc for feet on the ears.


  -What is the patient's temperature?
-Normal, room, 18 degrees ...


  -Doctor, my child had eaten sand. I gave him
a lot of water, but now what?
-Make sure that it is not suitable to the cement!


  Haim, people say that you possess the gift of speech?
-I?! Nothing!? Never!


  There was alcohol-free vodka. Sobering-up stations are 
overcrowded sober, angry, utterly ofigevshimi peasants. 


  Call in the CDB.
-Hello, you Boris Yeltsin H. lies?
Yes.
-How does it feel?
-Good. As cheerful.
-Thank you very much. Very glad.
-Who says so?
Yes, very, you know, and I say ... Come on, you still
never not speak the truth ...


  -Vovochka, explain the meaning of the Russian flag.
-White and blue took over the Reds.
-And what is the difference from the French?
Tuk-democracy there, so they are side by side.


  Trolley. Dzyadok sitting in front of him a lady with a carton 
of eggs in their hands. Dzyadok: -A woman pass for the ride.

-I have eggs.
Grandfather again, she also:
-Man, pass the tolls.


  In the cinema a young man tells the cashier:
Two seats in the last row.
The cashier with an idiotic laugh cry the whole movie theater:
A-ah! Places for kisses?
The guy thought:
-For a kiss mean? And if I doplachu?


  -Pete, you're the phone. You. Girl.
-If it Asya, Luba and Natasha, I was not. And if
Katya and Marina is, then I come ...
-This is a draft board ....