Big Belly Productions: Second Helpings

Big Belly Productions: Second Helpings
(c) Osmium

Hi S.E. editors and readers! This is Osmium, with more succulent news about your favourite ZX demo crew!

I wish I had good things to say, but unfortunately our plans for WORLD DOMINATION didn't pan out :( Shortly after our previous letter, there was a HUGE incident that shook the B.B.P. to its core. And I am here to serve you all this piece of hot news.

So, it turns out Styrofoam - after having a gastric bypass in 2023 - had been taking Ozempic for months, which is why he was such a featherweight. When MetricTonne found out, he was obviously not happy. MetricTonne is a fanatic, a zealot, a true believer in the B.B.P. lifestyle. So, worried about Styrofoam's mental health, MetricTonne had us stage an intervention. All of us (MetricTonne, DJ Porkchops and me) gathered at my place and waited for him to show up for our weekly group meeting. And we waited. We ate basically all the food I had. And we waited some more.

An hour passed and he still hadn't shown up. MetricTonne started getting really pissed off, yelling that we should kick him out of the group - we'd already received a membership application from M4X1-M00S3, so we didn't need him anymore. Fortunately, DJ Porkchops, the quiet one, intervened and said that maybe Styrofoam had just stopped at McDonald's for a quick bite, and that we should go out and look for him.

After we managed to get MetricTonne out of my house (his arse got stuck in the doorway), we started (slowly) walking the route Styrofoam usually takes to get to my place. We hadn't even walked 100 metres when MetricTonne started sweating like a pig and we had to stop. Just as he was catching his breath, he glanced across the road, and what did he see? I'll tell you what he saw - Styrofoam inside a gym, working out! A fucking GYM, for fuck's sake! This was heretic-level shit.

MetricTonne went completely mental. He dropped his sandwich (I've never, ever seen him do that) and started walking towards the gym entrance as fast as he could (which means not fast at all). Meanwhile, Styrofoam realised what was happening and ran for the exit. It was like watching a nature documentary in slow motion: a fat, lumbering lion chasing a slim, fast gazelle. Unfortunately for MetricTonne, by the time he got to the gym's door, Styrofoam was long gone. We haven't seen him since - MetricTonne thinks he might have joined a Fitness Protection Programme.

So now not only are we down one coder, but MetricTonne wants to find Styrofoam and get him sectioned. I have mixed feelings about this - on the one hand, it's just not right for Styrofoam to break all of the B.B.P.'s core beliefs, taking Ozempic and going to a gym of his own free will. On the other hand, maybe he's just depressed? I dunno, but we need to get him some help before we lose him for good.

This means we haven't done much (if any) Speccy work lately, but fret not - Styrofoam or no Styrofoam, we will be releasing our first production very soon at a demo party near you!

Bye, and keep on munchin'!