The Story of How Raver Had to Pay for His Deadly Sins

THE STORY OF HOW RAVER HAD TO PAY FOR HIS DEADLY SINS

by raver-the-wannabe-journalist-himself

ACHTUNG!

Highly non-informative crap covering most intimate episodes of Raver's life! Recommended to read only for his enemies and true fans!

Finally it's time I will write some deep deep *sigh* article dedicated to all the people who hate me — cheers mates! I have heard a lot of critics concerning my journalistic activities on speccy scene and in some way I can agree with it, let me point out two things I shouldn't be doing:

1) I was too strict initially, hoping for a better times — if people are satisfied fucking old whore pretending to be a young cutie, everything is okay.

2) I shouldn't be writting in russian, ever!

OK, more detailed. 1) — yes, kinda poetic but a very good comparision IMHO! Thing is, I don't like having sex with old whores and being in a company everyone does and believes this whore is top of women. I tried to open eyes for some, hey men it's not, it's a cheap immitation.... Aaaaaaah NO. Did I offend somebody already, again? I did write it somewhere and I will mention it again here — what most of you dear sceners call art and freak about is not what touch my heart'n'soul, definitely no. Why? Because for me it looks like lame tries to reconstruct something from PC and amiga scenes, exactly LAME tries, not even a proper copies. But nothing wrong with it. I see, you like it. Maybe you even cry at monitors reading some text and living together with a new chunk-masterpiece as it goes on. I love you because of this! I hope that's really how I'm hoping it to be, else I wouldn't understand how can you live with all this shit.

If I say your demo suck if I say your graphics suck if I say your music suck I am NOT saying you suck. You might be my best friend but if your creative activities just don't work for me I will tell you it's crap. Of course, that's only my subjective opinion. Thinking about it, there is NO objective opinion, if we treat word "objective" as very opposite to "subjective". We are just using these words, so for me "objective" is when I judge your work not thinking of you as a friend or enemy and not considering how much work did you put in or anything — just what I feel seeing and hearing it! Isn't it fair enough?

And yeah yeah blame me for addiction (?) to other scenes like c=64, amiga, PC and consoles... But for some strange reasons, respected sceners there mostly admit the same good stuff as I do. Perhaps I am following them and licking their arses to be cool eh? NO YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! I have my own favorites which has nothing to do with other people tastes but even if I am not fan of some demo I can immediatelly recognise if it has artistic potential. And they too. You? Yes, some. But these fucking with me just because I am honest enough to express my different opinion should eat this — I am what I am and I choose what I am, be it speccy or c=64 scene, it absolutely doesn't matter...

So, Grunge... You were pissed off by my news-article in Subliminal Extacy? But hey, you shouldn't be reading such an adult magazines, especially if you don't have a sense of humour and an average knowledge of english! I have no attitude to Smash Haxxorz Band at all, besides funny name I don't know much about it, tho' I liked Ru(s)h magazine quite a lot. Why all this bullshit in Scream #1? So what, yes I can say fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I use a lot of such nice words talking everyday and when I am writting articles it's much like talking and if I use bwaaad words they are there because they HAVE to be there, how can you be so stupid to think I insert them to be cool or because some other sceners does include them? BTW that just means you don't read scene press much on other platforms, they DON'T swear that often at all. I do. Should I cut my language just to be a polite boy in the diskmags? Fuck you.

I have to admit it hurts ;D Some say I have too high opinion about myself, I wouldn't think so. I just know what I can do and see what others are doing. If I think I am better in this or that, and there is a talk, I tell what I think. So, journalistic matters. Of course I was inspired by a lot of magazines from c=64, amiga and PC scenes, that's natural thing, if I see something cool, it changes me, that's why it's good production. Funny but one of my "PC diskmags articles" were marked as one of the strangest and most original ever. That's how I copy eh?

Still, where I learned to write was not scene press at all but the big press business, newspapers and magazines. I have been working in some of the biggest publications in country as reporter, journalist, editor and even as photographer. I was interviewing ministers of Latvia while being totally stoned, so fucking what? Does it mean I took everything I can do from there? OK. So why you don't take all the good things from the other scenes? Maybe because there is nothing to take, just inspiration. Could be, before creating art you could once try to perceive, to CONSUME ART ALREADY DONE. Even what you like, look at it again, you might end up discovering you see it for real for the first time.

Wah wah. I could be wrong of course bla bla time it was but that's why I am so rarely touching such subjects... You can write and write about them and have no end because there are so many sides of each thing. I never pretend to be absolutely right. I am not g0d nor do I want to be. Therefore I say straight, but that's what I think not what's TRUTH or something.

That's just something I don't say to lick your ass or to piss you off or to ruin your reputation or to "look cool" or something, that's just exactly what comes to my mind when I see and hear what you did and what you do, these are straight feelings converted to ASCII codes.

On the other hand Grunge has pointed out something which I think to be very true. He said people changes, and he reminded some old PHT intro where I did write NEVER PC. Yeah people are changing, even Raver changes and PC scene changed a lot and speccy one too... And now I am pretty much involved in PC scene already. Not because of machine, although PC was never so close to my heart as speccy, c=64 and amiga, I have a lot of friends on PC scene and there are some good demos. Really! At least 20 of PC demos are really good. Definitely more because I've seen only a couple of hundreds PC demos still. On PC scene... I am one among others in some ways like-minded souls, in some ways completely different people. One small dot among thousands of sinedots, let's say. One of these making this thing called scene complete. Without this dot the picture would be different. As I said I don't want to be g0d or something like that. I want to be one among others, where it is not possible to stand out just because you're talking what you think, just because you know what art is and just because I like this absolute and great feeling scene gives with it's globality.

I am not a fascist. I talk russian, point 2) — I even tried to write russian to move things in the direction of scene language.

The 90% of response were rags about how lame my russian is, like if it was my native language! Could be, I was too rough. You are soft boys who need careful relationship. So, explaining this over again — I don't hate russians, I don't hate russian language, I love talking to you russian, doesn't matter how lame i do it but I want (err, wanted!) you to make yours and non-russian speaking sceners lifes more exciting! You treat everything so strange way... I have a lot of russian friends, on scene and these I meet here around my livingplace and I like to have good time and drink vodka with russian chaps at parties, but this is a completely different talk, well, well — WAS.

Hmmm, guess that's about everything I wanted to say. I will keep writting some stuff here and there when I will feel like to but I won't return to this subject anymore, I think I told everything what had to be told, I am also not writting in russian anymore for some time now (though you might spot on some translations) and finally, Phantasy for sure will continue it's slow life on speccy releasing cracks, demos, tools and other productions from time to time for these who like our style, though I personally will concentrate much more on amiga and c=64 demos and editing my multiplatform scene papermag Blackmarket.

Cheers mates!