Humor - description of the game "Tankmen".

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 ║ ─── HUMOR ─── ║      
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  In general, this section is not like that
useful like the others, but also
SPECTROFON has recently become
lazy, prints all sorts of nonsense,
but that's true, by the way.            
                                
  So, today in this section we have
us the description of the game (don’t be surprised -
Although it's just a description, it's HUMOR)
for game console SONY PLAY
StAtION. Apparently the description of the preparation
Isn't it for the sake of the description itself, a
just for humorous reasons
Denia.  And copyright, I think
We won't break anything.          
                                
   The style of presentation has been preserved.    
                                
                                
                                
(C) GAME MAGAZINE, 1995         
                                
TANKERS.            
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author unknown.        
                                
  Listen, friend, here we are the other day
a new console has arrived, SONY
It's called PLAY STATION.  Class-
This is, in fact, a thing.  For special
I can repeat the illiterate gopot
say: "Sonya Plau Ctatuoh." Re-
Don't ask for water - I don't know.
Like this. Mutter to yourself once
eight, look, you'll remember...   
  Yes! you just go straight to the network 
don't bother with the one with 220
voltaicx. My friend and I when
they turned it on, she’s sacrilegious about something
I was crazy, I was dynamite.  Probably 220
it seemed like a lot to her. Nothing, by-
repaired.  Which is what we advise you too.
                                
                                
In short, boy, watch the voltage
pulp: 197 there, 204, on thin skin
Nets - 211. This is normal. A 220 -
her pure bend.  He closes his eyes,
bourgeois product.             
   Well... As soon as "Sonya P.
C." purred (after repairs, well,
when I poke around in it with a soldering iron,
dil after 220), we immediately calculated
stared at the nose and thought,
Why not play? Well, you know
eat, "Kombat" is there, the others are cool
toys - mochilovki, it suits us
high. You sit and wet. You wet and
you are sitting. Ottyag is like a paramedic
prescribed.  We opened it with kehtom
the first CD, and he is yours
Negro - all black! And how to jump-
no to the bathhouse!.. In short, listen,
we wanted to wash it with soap,
but thenwe thought why did we
We’ll wash it, the japas are too lazy,
didn't wash, but we will. Yeah. Yesterday
you'll come soon. Fuck.           
Soap is expensive these days... Well...
they didn’t do it right: it’s just cool
Sishnaya later explained to us that
In general, all Sony CDs are neg-
Rityanskie.  But in vain. Nelson
Do they not respect Mandela?
Although... Why should we, let them, ja-
pov that is, others are steaming,
for us they are at least brown sitting
ki rivet. If only the body does not
dirali (from Chinese CDs
you know what burrs!) and extinguish-
be more adept at them.          
 And the toys on these blacks -
the worst thing. I'm telling you exactly. And
not even black and white, but in some places
colored.  I was one pioneer later
treated: 32 bits, says
your "Sony" and this console
the zi-zi-top to the graphics
there was a bite... In short, listen, we
they caught a cutie on one toy,
three days with kehtom dragged and about
We'll tell you our opinion.
Cyber Sled (“Suber Trace”) is called
is happening.  God knows what it's about
this, but the game is the most junkie.
True, the Russians were lazy
learn and, like clockwork balabo-
lyat on some yours-my-henohu-
May.   In short, Kirguda is a complete mess,
something like Mongolian.
Well, you know, we are not Mongols and
we'll never go there, so
I had to turn on my thoughts and
dig hard. Nothing for
green ones can be glitchy (a
youthought here in tyrpukax bash-
are they lying?!).                        
                                
  Okay, good lyrically basic
let's get started with my smart stuff
thoughts about "Suber Trace".    
                                
  In short, ceku: you go into
lump, and there is e-mine! - tanks
are on sale. As many as eight models.
                                
only my favorite 34th for some reason
no.  Okay bro, don't take it
head of cabbage, there is a crisis in the country, three-
Tsat'4s are temporarily out of production
repent, tractor factories will cross
or on Lukich's armored cars. In general,
grab what they give you and go. Cases
There are some tough ones coming up.               
  (As it turned out later, such
there were tank stalls in the city
eight pieces;  in short, half
fellow countrymen have already ottanketilas and
armored transported - this is how-
Kim doesn't care what, as long as xan-
no, and the other half is worth
queue, homepku on the hands of chemical
writes with a Czech pencil - it became
maybe our people are waiting for a ride
thirty-fours and all sorts of bullshit
they don't take it).                      
                                
                                
                                
                                
 you are probably young and not yet
you know that a tank is a device
thin, curly, demanding,
so that she salts every day -
scraped down and used solarium
whether. And also to her, that is, to the tank,comfort
required, heated garage with
shower and air conditioning in one
boxing and the golden hands of a master.
In short, boy, mectob in the city
there's nothing left - all the clearings
filled between the scrapers
tank hangars-shells. you
you ask: where are the people dogs?
walked?  And I will answer: I didn’t myself
I'm moving in, okay?                 
                                
  In short, zema, when in York with
The clearings are generally a mess. Hacty-
drank, the people slowly became greedy
to run and, you know, shoot.
In kind. From tanks. Because
the law of nature - the fight for housing
area and separate bathroom.
Harley-Davidson scooters,
chisels and other gears - everything
it became useless, people everyone
Kagal sat down in the tanks. Arranged
yourself, so to speak, an eternal holiday
day - tanker's day.  Even in
lobas - and then on armored vehicles
drove. And if the bullets ran out
"dum-dum", pturses were used,
resources and under-barrel rpahato-
meta.  Not to mention the cumulative
fire and incendiary shells.
Ammunition rose steeply in the center
not, having reached a kilogram of live-
weights as many as tons of pieces of wood (the most
their currency is strong).          
                                
  Soon the country came
complete chaos. (Here she is, praise
lazy foreign country Japa-
nia! is that the case with us! All tanks
all of them stand at home
lah, they don’t violate outrages and
discipline is not abused, but if
and sometimes go out onto the boulevards and
area of the capital, then only the density
orderly formation, measured steps and according to
order, and not from the bullshit). In short,
buddy, now I'll tell you...
I know what authentic is
bourgeois lawlessness (in its own
ckuhe smelled it).                  
                                
  Kehtom and I didn’t have time to leave
from a tank store, like some 
then an overpowered eccentric with the letter "me"
signed us into the militia and greyhound
(without even asking our “don’t want-
chu") staked out a living tahko for us
I made a target, but I made my own legs -
I guess I went to push the ticket on
glyukalovo, as we will be
extinguish the enemy.              
                                
 But listen, the enemy was caught quickly
roaring like a broom: stuck out from behind
the nearest column had a muzzle and a shmal-
gave us a line from his
pneumosuperblaster.  Or else from
Why, we didn’t get it right away. A
then again and again. Of course we
At first they dropped it because they weren’t expecting it
from a Mongol such greyhound, but
then quickly crossed the fields -
well, put on the old chromachi and cas-
ki and a little, you know, sub-
get out, that is, teach him who in
company sergeant. Why is he smelling
lost? (I just read ours -
dirty and I immediately correct myself:
not right awaywe began to wet it, and
a little later, when with the control
they have mastered it - it is in these
the new tailors are not very good,
no match for ours, thirty-four-
nomu...)                        
                                
                                
 By the way, listen, already during the battle
it turned out that with ntypcamu we are in
They stabbed the storage shed - they didn’t give it to me.
I had to back up and
to scam thieving hucksters -
to teach them a lesson too. But when we
arrived at the place, it turned out that
the traders weren't fooling around
for us alone, from the chic, only
that otctpoehhoro tank su-
nepmapketa was left alone deep-
what a funnel.  Apparently, straight
falling.  And that's right. Necha
fool honest tankers. Yes, even
on their professional holiday..
                                
  Okay, let's turn around and go
for the insolent person who did not recognize
We have father-commanders in us.  Oh and
the nimble bastard got caught! No, in na-
tour.                           
                                
                                
                                
 We chased him for a whole kbap-
Tal, picking up bro-
woven with some kind of felt boots
containers with missiles of what we need
caliber (you understand, dude,
that the armor is like a tank fluff
fuck for a very long time). Yes! In
ucke ptursov map can help
(not playing, but terrain). Co-dear, give the stupidity some time-
pour, look through the plank in front
wheelbarrow, you won't break it.          
                                
  And one more cherished thing - about closing
hey toys. Missing (a ta-
something sometimes happens even with
tinned tahkuctamu), we were
lo, we were rummaging through numerous
white huts and flats. But! Voltage
Geez, buddy!  A full crowd was waiting for us
bummer: the huts and flats stood like
new!  (Maybe because
protected by the Japanese government
stvom?)                         
 In short, what will our
water and suggestions? Very simple
you.  Firstly, tank urine-
dexterity is class. Secondly,
"Combat" is also a class. And
"Gas sector" - damn it, too
cool. In kind, understand?