Amanda's Diary
The most popular question to pose and answer these days seems to be what one would do if your lottery numbers came up. For our Euro-bod readers, we've only just got a national lottery in this country. I'm quite set with my plans to open a Spectrum only shop that sells loads of second hand stuff, does repairs and can be a place where we all hang out (man) and get drunk alot. So much for my dreams - maybe if you win it, you can do it.
The reality of the current situation is that I can't even afford to go to the pub until next Thursday. But with a couple of Spectrum set-ups and a little bit of imagination. See if you can scrounge enough cash to get some cans in; the strong lagers are the best if you want to get there fast. Look down the back of the sofa for some fag money (you should also have enough for some crisps). Now set up the Speccies in the corner and load in 3D Pool by Firebird. This is the best pool program I've played - it's like walking into a FREESCAPE house and picking up a cue. Try FRUIT MACHINE 2 in the other Speccy and get those reels spinning. With a third Speccy you can add Wacky Darts by Codies. For added realism, get the students from number 32 to sit in your room talking loudly about themselves. A big fat racist tosser is bound to turn up to complete the atmosphere.
Of course the best thing about this arrangement is you don't spend much money or get some sour faced old slapper telling you to fuck off at closing time. You can take the piss out of the students as they make half a lager last all night then pretend to be 'so drunk'. But the really best thing is you don't get chatted up by the most ugliest man in the world. How comes they always go in the pubs I frequent?
Bad luck to Martyn Sherwoods Nottingham Forest for getting beaten by Millwall in the 4th round of the Coca Cola cup. How dare we eh? You big smug teams seem to think the sun shines out of your arses. Well it doesn't - your mob are over-rated and will be lucky to finish mid-table. I think we should have more football in Sinclair Classic! Only the darling Mat 'Fishy' Beal responded to my plea for games I didn't have. Just you wait til' I've got something you want you mean gits. No lists this issue as it would be a complete waste of memory (now look, you've upset me now). Great fun was had at the Sinclair Classic Xmas office party, held at the Newshouse pub in St James St. A b/w photo of Sir Clive was blu-tacked to a vinegar bottle and much drinking was in evidence. In attendance was SC top cheese Dave 'I fancy Tomboys me' Fountain, who entertained the masses with a rendition of My Old Mans a Dustman. Clare sat quiet in the corner with a large mug of Vodka, sulking because we didn't want her boyfriend coming due to him being far too fat. Steve Vickers and Alan Sugar failed to show but Andy Davis and Martyn Sherwood ended the evening by smashing up the toilets and snogging each other in the mini-cab home. Don't believe all you read in other publications, these boys get on like a house on fire. Strangely enough, Martyn did catch fire at 2am after refusing to accept that Stan Collymore is an over-rated twat with an attitude problem.
Here's to next years bash (we'll still be here, will you?) and keep your Spectrums in tip-top condition. Remember, there is always a redundant brother willing to be canabalised to fly the flag for the little Spectrum.
Share your thoughts about the article