Aspiring Writers - How FLASH and I went for corn.

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║  Beginning writers.      ║
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(C) Stop

 How FLASH and I went for corn.

 *Origin: TURNEPS - must die forever!

 Once FLASH called me to the dacha. He said that
not far from the dacha, across the river, there is a collective farm field where it grows
a lot of things, including corn. FLASH took a healthy sports
an unusually white bag, and I have an ordinary backpack, because
We expected to carry away about twenty kilograms.

 The trip by train and local bus was excellent.
good. The bus was characterized by extremely torn seats -
It seemed to us that a troop of gorillas or macaques was being transported here.

 When we approached the entrance to the land plots, the first thing
what we noticed and what was displayed on the notice board was this
there was a list of potential defendants who had failed to submit land taxes.
Then it was calmer, and only apple trees and transforma-
tor substations.  Cheerful music was heard from the windows of the houses and
heavy sighs of people, signaling the beginning of the working day. Arriving at the place, we found that everything was in order, but
house, residents were found using this living space for
purpose, but clearly did not want to pay taxes or at least
rent to FLASH. In addition, they brazenly gnawed
fork and blanket. It was mice. And in the frying pan, under the plate,
damn it was two years ago...

 Reconnaissance of the situation brought the following results: security
there was no field, but there was also no bridge across the river, however
there was one place where it was possible to ford. We regretted
rubber boots forgotten at home and went to the trash heap for poly-
ethylene bags to use instead of boots.

 Soon FLASH found suitable packages and tried them on. Despite
despite the joy he felt at the same time, they were clearly not suitable
to him. Soon he realized this and decided to take them off.

 So, armed with a bag and a backpack, we moved to that
side.  It turned out that those who like to profit from collective farm goods
enough, and before our eyes people were carting away local cabbage -
mi.

 We decided that we ourselves were no worse, but the goal was somewhat different,
so we went for corn. When we finally see her
It was obvious that she was still immature. It was a shame, but
cabbage itselfit was asking for itself in my backpack and FLASH's bag.
We didn't resist her.

 Among the cabbage, we felt like kings. I didn't have
no knife, so I soon developed a method for extracting the vegetable
only with the help of your hands and your own weight. It was that
I grabbed the rocker tightly, bent it, leaned on it with all my weight.
catfish, after which the pumpkin fell off with a crunch. So we stocked up
twenty-five kilograms of cabbage.

 Afterwards we went back along the road. On the right grew seductively
turnip, popularly called fodder turnip. At FLASH
I happened to have a knife with me, and we decided to try this vegetable. He
I liked it, so I decided to stock up on it too. When we loaded
We were working to capacity, and a car appeared on the road. She's quick to
came to us.  The door opened and a smiling man appeared
frame.  He expressed pride in our action and asked questions for a long time
details, after which he promised to collect all the cabbage and left.

 Another car immediately appeared. We decided that it was still
one unlucky hunter for collective farm vegetables, but through
After half a minute we realized that we were mistaken. The car stopped, from it
A closet-like comrade with a bulletproof face jumped out. "Open-
We dug through the bags, quickly!,” he said. On the side of his clothes there was
some kind of inscription like "Securityfields". We realized that this is exactly
the one we need.

 When he noticed the cabbage, his face lost expression for a second.
bulletproofness, but only for a second. "Backpacks in luggage-
nick, quickly!!  Get in the car, quickly!!! Don't force me
be nervous!!" It was obvious that his nerves were not the same
good, as with the face.

 Viewing FLASH's passport gave him unimaginable pleasure.
pleasure, in turn, we had fun riding on
car through local fields. It was just hot. At a certain moment
The cop car stopped and this guy was carefully watching
rum against the sky of a man walking among the cabbages, who with
looked at her sadly. Our virtuous man was clearly having a hard time.
“Well, cut it, at least one,” he shouted, jumping up every
smoke in a word on the seat. However, he was in no hurry to do this. Not
having endured it, the guard jumped out and shared with the strolling person -
boiled in his heart, after which he advised him not to
appear.

 At a certain moment it was decided that the car was, after all,
taxi, and there are passengers, so you need to give them a ride to the point -
that destination. Along the way we were offered to pay for 20 tons of stolen goods.
day cabbage, apparently we looked so much like thieves.

 When we arrived at the pointappointment, the guard showed
that it was not in vain that he was taught etiquette. He immediately jumped up to my door and
opened it.  Only his tongue was at odds with the wonderful
manners. "Get out of the car, quickly!! Take your bag and follow me!!"

 We found ourselves in an establishment with the most
resembled a stable. There they asked for our passport details -
we were asked to write an explanatory note, and they also don’t care anymore
fall.  In the magazine where we were recorded there were inscriptions from
de: “Detained with a bag of potatoes,” etc. Then they decided that
it's time for them to do something, for which we needed to shake out
take the bags. The presence of turnips surprised them so much that they forgot
about your desire to sell our cabbage at the market.

 Finally, we were asked if we would like to pay for fifty
hundreds of kilograms of cabbage at three rubles per kilogram, a hundredfold
size. When we answered in the negative, we were released.

 The way home was good, except for the fact that it was on the train
newspapers were sold along with ice cream and incense.

 When I returned home, I definitely decided that cabbage
You can’t steal it, but you have to buy it... from those who steal it.

P.S.   The events are real, just a little distorted, so...
       authenticity - 99%