Humor - Ten bytes that shocked the world.

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║  Chronicle of events  ║
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 Ten bytes that shocked the world.


 In October 2017, in conditions of chaos and anarchy,
flattered the country, the leadership of the CPSU (P) - All-Russian Computer-
Noah Party (Programmers) - decided to seize power.
The coup was carried out quickly and almost without bloodshed. For-
previously sent viruses blocked the work of the General Staff, post offices, ban-
kovs and telegraphs, and detachments of revolutionary players, hatpehupobah-
located in secret bases in the game in the 5th DOOM, were occupied by government
buildings. The first decrees of the new government proclaimed: “Every pro-
rammist has the right to a free computer, free beer and
free sleep" and "All Software Must Be Free". Chairman of the Supreme
of the Hacker Council made an appeal to the population, in which
Thor uttered the historical phrase: “Now there is no more need to
There's a man with a hard drive!"

 The very next day, queues lined up on the streets for
free beer.  Rare non-drinking programmers immediately
returned a major speculation, in addition, they tried npop-
personalities,whose programmer background was clearly
doubtful. The first riots broke out.

 Meanwhile, the Supreme Hacker Council issued a decree on taxation
tax on the use of computers and software for all henporpammuc-
com, which led to the formation of the Users’ League, sharply opposed to
noah to the new regime. Under these conditions, the CPSU(P) was forced to quickly
form armed units to defend the revolution. They are
made up of very different people and therefore received the name Different Gvar-
diy.

 At the same time, the issue of symbolism and visual propaganda was being resolved.
On the Motherboard Square (formerly Red) a con-
monument to Wiener and von Neutmann. The flag was chosen
white-blue-black, which symbolized Windows, Norton Commander
and MS-DOS. The coat of arms depicted, of course, a computer (suggested
The proposal to put another bottle of beer there was rejected by the Supreme Hacker
Council after the personal intervention of the chairman).

 At this time, an extremist organization emerged from underground
The "even hundred", consisting mainly of modem users,
which immediately organized pogroms against ATS workers. Supreme Hacker
The Council did not intervene until the pogroms reached their peak, after which
a decree was issued on the free transfer of digital information via
telephone lines, which caused great delight among the Even Hundreds. Od-however, not all political forces could be won over
side.  The User League, which was gaining strength, staged a
HardDisk (formerly Manezhnaya) powerful demonstration under the defiant
slogan “The user is also a programmer!”, supported by programmers
from the applied faction. The demonstration was dispersed by guardsmen
mi, and the leaders of the User League took refuge in the representative office
Apple, where they asked for political asylum. After that
representatives of applied workers were removed from the leadership of the CPSU(P),
and the new government was formed only from members of the faction
system workers, which subsequently led to the renaming of the party to
CPPS (Computer Party of System Programmers).

 In order to consolidate the victory over the renegades, the Supreme Hacker
The Council passed a law on the universal introduction of hexadecimal
number systems.  The User League and applied workers tried to support
to defeat the rebellion suppressed by the striking forces of mutant viruses. Supreme
The Hacker Council announced the beginning of hacker terror. In computing
rallies were held in public centers under the slogan “Death to Lame-
ram!”, and on the streets, mixed guard patrols stopped passers-by
live and asked them how much 7+5 would be. "12" answered here
they were taken to Kesh (formerly Lubyanka), because the correct answer is 0C.

Left avirs (virus authors) tried to lynchLozinsky,
but were decisively stopped by the right-wing Avirs. But despite everything
However, the provocations did not stop. There were reports that
in the Tower (formerly BD) the new government in full force
He's been playing DOOM 5 for days. But the Check commission found that this
blatant lie - the government played the 12th Beholder.

 One of the leaders of the User League, hiding in the Apple building,
made a joke about how the free program promised to every programmer
A regular computer is a computer without boards. In response to this, the chairman
The head of the Supreme Hacker Council demanded to ban Russian
language, as not amenable to syntactic analysis and correct
broadcast, but this bold decision was blocked by that part
VHS, which did not know English.

 Meanwhile, a new split has matured in the CPSU(P) itself. Fraction ra-
wild systemists, whose positions have strengthened significantly after the soft-
application workers, began a campaign to ban Windows and remove
removal of the white stripe from the flag. But the split did not have time to deepen, after
Since at this time the country ran out of beer.

 At the same time, another catastrophe happened: the crushed
taxed users began to throw away their computers and count on their accounts
tah.  The cache was full. The regime was on the verge of collapse. Supreme
The Hacker Council met all night and then expelled him from the country.representatives of Apple and proclaimed the NEP - New Ergonomic
nal Programming.  Nobody knew what it was, but it sounded
beautiful.

   At this time, a famous foreign virus writer visited
Moscow (still not renamed) and, being impressed
from everything he saw, he wrote a new virus. Thanks to the wide
instruction set of the new Decium processor, it fits it into just 10
byte. The virus has alarmed the world community, because now it is
the emergence of viruses as a result of random failures has become
the possible is simply improbable.  The ideologists of the CPSU(P) saw in
this broad perspective: the time will come when programs will
write themselves, and programmers will only play DOOM and
Beholder, drink beer and sleep.

 A congress of software engineers was held in the Minitower (formerly the Kremlin).
youth, at which the chairman of the Supreme Hacker Council produced
carried the historical phrase: "The current generation of programmers will
live!"
 Yuri Nesterenko, Soft Market.

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