Humor - Quoting 'Murphy's Laws'...

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|       Цитируя  'Законы  Мерфи'        ║ 
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                          Sting/Infotek   
                                          
               Артур Блох                 
           перевод Л.Беляевой             
           (ЭКО 1983,NN 1,2,3)            
                                          
  Данная  статья выпущена на суд Спуктру- 
мистов, для возможного дальнейшего обсуж- 
дения  в  кругах  газеты  Plutonium. Ниже 
рассмотрена,  imho, либо философия корен- 
ного неудачника, либо оригинальный подход 
к  жизни. Самые печальные выдержки поски- 
паны. Ну что - понеслась !!!              
                                          
              Закон Мерфи.If any trouble may arise 
Guess it happens.                    
                                          
               Consequences.                 
+Everything is not as easy as it seems.           
+Every job requires more time, 
 than you think.                          
+ Of all the troubles that will happen, it is 
 the one from which the damage is greater.             
+Left to themselves, events have 
 have a tendency to develop from bad to 
 to the worst.                                 
+Every solution creates new problems.    
                                          
         Chisholm's first law.           
Everything that can go bad will go bad.    
                                          
               Consequence.                 
Everything that cannot go bad does.
                                          
         Chisholm's second law.           
When things are going well, something must 
happen in the very near future.      
                                          
               Consequences.                 
+When things go from bad to worse, in fact 
 in the near future they will get even worse.   
+If you think the situation is improving- 
 It means you didn't notice something.      
                                          
         Chisholm's third law.           
Any suggestions peopleunderstand differently 
than the one who contributes them.                   
                                          
               Consequences.                 
+Even if your explanation is so clear- 
 but, which excludes any false interpretation - 
 no, there will still be a person who 
 will misunderstand you.                  
+If you are sure that your action will be met 
 titus everyone's approval, he owes someone 
 definitely won't like it.                  
                                          
          Scott's first law.            
It doesn't matter that someone is going wrong. 
Maybe it looks good...          
                                          
       Murphy's law of thermodynamics.         
Things get worse under pressure.             
                                          
     The first law of creating dynamics       
             Zimerga systems.              
If you've already opened a can of worms, then 
the only way to seal them again is 
is to use a larger jar 
measure.                                     
                                          
         Johnson's third law.           
The magazine issue you lost contains 
exactly that article, story or passage from 
mana, which you would urgently like to remove 
thief.Consequence.                 
All your friends either have this number or not. 
it was either lost or thrown away.      
                                          
    Harper's Magazine Law.      
An item cannot be found until you buy a replacement. 
her other one.                                
                                          
   Richard's Rules of Interdependence.     
What you store long enough can 
but throw it away. As soon as you throw something away 
sieve, you'll need it.                
                                          
             Airplane Law.              
When your plane is late, the plane is on 
the one you wanted to transfer flies away 
on time.                                 
                                          
    The first law of cycling.      
No matter where you go, it's 
uphill and against the wind!                    
                                          
           Ettore's observation.             
The queue next to you always moves faster. 
                                          
               Buba's Law.                
What is lost is always found in the last 
pocket.                                  
                                          
                                          
            Truman's postulate.             
Unprintablejargon is the language that 
absolutely all programmers are proficient in 
perfection.                               
                                          
       Gilb's laws of unreliability.        
+Computers are unreliable, but people are not yet 
safer.                                   
+Any system that depends on human 
reliability, unreliable.                    
+Number of errors that cannot be detected 
infinitely, as opposed to the number of errors, 
which can be detected - it is of course by 
definition.                              
                                          
              Brooke's law.                
Increasing the number of participants during preparation 
than a late program only slows down 
no process.                               
 Shaw principle.                
Create a system that can be used 
fool, and only a fool would want it 
use.                             
                                          
              IBM principle.                
A machine must work, a person must think. 
                                          
        The law of nature's willfulness.         
It is impossible to correctly determine in advance which 
Which side of the sandwich should be buttered.     
                                          
     Law of selective gravity.      
The object will fall in such a way that 
carrygreatest damage.                   
                                          
          Jenning's corollary.            
Probability that a sandwich will fall 
oil side down, is directly proportional to the cost 
carpet bridges.                              
Field Law.                
You can't fall off the floor.                     
                                          
        Vyshkovsky's second law.         
Everything can be adjusted if you twirl it in your hands 
long enough.                         
                                          
              Lowery's Law.               
A part is stuck - press on it. If it's broken- 
nothing: it still needed to be replaced 
no...                                   
                                          
           Anthony's Law of Power.             
Don't waste your energy, take a hammer 
more!                                   
                                          
              Kahn's axiom.               
If nothing else helps, read this: 
Finally, instructions!                      
                                          
 Precision rule.             
When working on solving a problem, you always 
good to know the answer.                        
                                          
               Young's Law.                
All the great discoveriesare done by mistake.  
                                          
       Peter's law of substitutability.         
Take care of the flies, and the elephants themselves 
take care of themselves.                         
                                          
           H. L. Mencken's Law.             
Those who can do it do it. Those who cannot, teach.  
                                          
           Martin's addition.            
Those who cannot teach control.           
                                          
           Army axiom.             
Any order that may be incorrect 
misunderstood, misunderstood.     
 The first law of dispute.            
Never argue with a fool - people can 
not notice the difference between you.           
                                          
      Swipple's order rule.        
Whoever shouts the loudest is given the floor 
in.                                       
                                          
            Rayburn's rule.             
If you want to live in harmony, agree.      
                                          
             Cole's axiom.               
The total amount of intelligence on the planet is the magnitude 
constant, but the population is growing...         
                                          
      The first law of socio-genetics.        
The addiction to bachelor life does not change 
given byinheritance.                     
                                          
             Jones's motto.               
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate 
are pouring.                                 
                                          
             Fifth rule.               
You take yourself too seriously.       
                                          
                                          
 I have to end here.              
                              Sting.      

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