Let's Poguram - novel duology by Sergei Pavlov “Moon Rainbow” (chapter 6-10).

G L A B A 6                
                                          
   Stirlitz was born in January, but his day
celebrated the first of May so that
establish your own   solidarity with the international
working class.  Last year this
day he invited one Muller, but
Himmler's vile initiative, to his home
the entire top of the Reich showed up,  which
considered it my duty to congratulate   him on
holiday,  and everyone, as if mocking,
gave either a GIF picture of Stalin or
tarpaulinboots lined with floppy disks,
then the complete works of Kernighan and
Ritchie in two volumes in Chinese, and
Borman was even honored to donate his old
I'm working as a laboratory assistant.  Stirlitz asked him for this
I couldn’t say anything, he immediately handed over the laboratory assistant
Schellenberg, who mixed Bor-
Manu in the toner a little purgenu.             
                                          
 Only one kind and intelligent 
Muller presentedStirlitz file in French 
Tsuz pornography for 1917.          
                                          
   Everything would be fine if the officers didn’t
bitten to the point of swinishness and did not
they crap on Stirlitz the whole apartment. Stirlitz
it was not   sorry  broken  monitor
Super-VGA, broken disk drive, formatted
matted hard drive and remote files
fishing, but it was a matter of principle, and for this
since Stirlitz didn’t invite anyone. He
thought about his situation from all sides and
prudently   decided to celebrate the day
birth at the dacha in the company of Pastor Schlag
and his parishioners, thereby hiding from
uninvited guests.                       
                                          
   The table was placed   with the letter "W". Satisfied
Stirlitz generously gave instructions, and although
no one listened to him,  felt
large chief.  Agents pastors
Shlaga,   dressed in white aprons, cotton
stood in the kitchen, set the table, with joy
she hung on every word of the standartenfu-
rera.  English  agent, made up
like a woman and also in a white apron,
painstakingly masked the microphones in the corners.
His heart sang.  He finally came out
Stirlitz himself.                          
                                          
  Bus arrived with women
  just three hours ago. Love-
  tortured female faces looking
  get out of the bus windows onto the
  Stir-
  faces.  He was in a robe,
  scented on the hairy chest,
  on his head was pulled
  grid.  Why, Stirlitz
  knew, but he saw exactly the same 
  same with Schellenberg.        
                               
                                          
                                          
   Today Stirlitz took a bath again.  
                                          
   Pastor Schlag got out of the cab and gave 
honor.                                    
                                          
   - How much?  - Stirlitz asked, throwinga quick look at the bus.                
                                          
   - Twenty-four.                     
                                          
   - Three bytes. - Stirlitz rejoiced.    
                                          
   - Twenty-three verified agents and 
one is new,” said Pastor Schlag, ro- 
smiling invitingly.                        
                                          
   - Command, - Stirlitz allowed.      
                                          
   Pastor Schlag took a deep breath 
ha and shouted in a disgusting voice:         
                                          
                                          
   - Stand in one line!            
                                          
   - Become, become... - echoed
echo, and something rustled in the bushes.         
                                          
   Women, giggling and  talking,
got off the bus, and twenty minutes later
The pastor managed to build them.         
                                          
   Stirlitz took on a fighting look and said:    
                                          
   - Pay off the first, the second! Per-
The first rooms are for the kitchen, the second rooms are for covering 
on the table.                                  
                                          
   Women scurried back and forth, and Stirlitz and
the pastor played the tricky fool on the crack
bans. When everything was covered, Stirlitz sat down
at the head of the table, and Pastor Schlag straightened the
I peel off my shirtfront and raise my glass of champagne.   
                                          
                                          
   Suddenly a motor began to purr in the yard. Stirlitz
looked out the window.  From the arriving  SX
Borman got down. The dacha was cordoned off by the SS
tsami.  SS men were sitting on all the trees,
in the bushes,   on the roof and in other areas
bright places. Practical Schellenberg wanted
catch Stirlitz by surprise and not yet
I ordered the dacha to be surrounded. C SX
angry Himmler and Goebbels, and Stirlitz relished
but he spat on the just washed   floor.
Himmler, who had already gained quite a bit of weight (by
On the way they   stopped at a women's concentration camp,
and the commandant treated them to   some liqueur),
convinced Goebbels that Stirlitz would be in
three times more enjoyable if the SX drives right into
house.                                      
                                          
                                          
   Stirlitz knew how to restrain his feelings.  
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
   - Infections!!!                            
                           
                           
  He grabbed the bottle
     шампанского и метнул в
     монитор.Посыпались ос-
     колки.                
                           
                           
                           
                           
                           
                                          
   - Я тоже не люблю  шампанское, - сказал
подошедший Мюллер.                        
                                          
   Офицеры  весело   рассаживались за сто-
лом,  обнимая  прихожанок   пастора Шлага.
Борман потянулся за  Turbo C++ и опрокинул
Larry.                                    
                                          
   Müller brought a bouquet of red flowers to Stirlitz  
floppy disks                                   
                                          
   - I propose, - Goebbels yelled, - you-
drink for  true  patriot  Reich,
Standartenführer CC Von Stirlitz!         
                                          
   - Heil Stirlitz! - the guests shouted.    
                                          
   Gloomy   Stirlitz ate one after another
dumplings from a large silver dish with
microcircuits.                             
                                          
   Schellenberg stood up and reached for a piece of
com  hard drive.   Borman planted it on him
bigbutton. Schellenberg jumped to
ceiling and landed on the table, knocking over
for Himmler a three-liter jar of toner.
Himmler, not at a loss,  without understanding,
whoever did this punched the person sitting next to him in the nose
Goering.  He overturned along with the chair
crowbar.                                      
                                          
   Stirlitz  poured  Muller another
stack of toner.                            
                                          
Overturned Goering
crawled to the table and 
tried to get up. 
Getting up, he
clutched his head to
Goebbels' leg, co-
which  pronounced
toast, and raised                       
it is above the table. Goebbels, don't understand anything
May, shouted "help!" and fell on the table.
The women burst out laughing.                 
                                          
   Müller  poured  Stirlitz next
stack of toner.                            
                                          
   Goebbels, who fell  face into a dish with
Finnish paper, tried to prove nothing
not  understanding sheets   superiority
Aryan race over all others and agitation
wanted to enroll in the Hitler Youth.      
                                          
   Bitten adjutant Himmler, shata-
I walked up to Stirlitz and began to congratulate him.
wish him a happy birthday.                 
                                          
   - I admire you, Mr. Standar-
Tenführer!  You are my ideal  system...
Hic!... a new programmer!                 
                                          
   They drank for brotherhood.  Muller, co-
who liked the blonde sitting next to her
ka, looked at his watch and said:           
                                          
  - In my opinion. It's time for us to F10.              
                                          
                                          
  Himmler   stood up and shook it in front of his nose
Stirlitz with index finger:            
                                          
 - But still, Stirlitz, you are a big Pig,
tried to escape from us at the dacha... 
                                          
   - Come on, Undo quickly! - indignant
adjutant and slapped Himmler in the face.      
                                          
   DrunkBorman walked around the table and took turns
di tried to make acquaintance with a woman
mi.  He smelled of vodka and garlic, and
women pushed him away with disgust.
The English agent hid from Bormann under
table                                   
                                          
   Without a sip, Borman sat down next to
Pastor Schlag.                          
                                          
   “B-Borman,” said Borman, drawling
shaking a sweaty palm.                        
                                          
   They met and drank.  We had a bite.
We drank more. Soon Pastor Schlag, pull-up
Vaya in third with Borman, he sang:           
                                          
   - From Moscow to the British seas...     
                                          
   Wolf, Holthoff and Von Schwarzkopfman
ruzili preference.  The bullet was written with chalk on
keyboard.  Von Schwarzkopfman was losing and
swore. Around  them crowded
most women, they watch with excitement
gave for the game and prompted the unlucky
to von Schwarzkopfman.                     
                                          
   Himmler  fell ill, he climbed under
table and fell asleep, displacing the English agent
ta.                                       
                                          
   Stirlitz remembered  what he has today
birthday.  He looked with disgust
hall and realized that the holiday was ruined.       
                                          
   "They would collect  all the reptiles somewhere-
be... Just not at my dacha... And za-
pour the fuse at the box of dynamite..." - us-
thought Stirlitz.                     
                                          
   He spat at Goering and took it with him
bottle of toner and headed to the toilet from -
die from the vulgar noise.              
                                          
   An English agent came out from behind the table and
on his belly  crawled in the same direction-
Research Institute.                                      
                                          
   Toilet  Shtirlitsa was decorated with south-facing
Lava tiles. Standing next to the pool
blue Finnish VGA monitor. Stirlitz at-
sat down, rested his cheek on his fist  and thought,
looking at the reproduction of the painting  Levitan
"Russian :-)8". Stirlitz remembered his family
naya village, a stack of snow, a girl from her homeland
Coy on the left chest.                       
                                          
   "Damn it," thought  Stirlitz, -
There are only Jews all around!”                        
                                          
 And here a thought came into his head  
congratulate the center on your birthday.
Stirlitz tried to remember in which cata-log he put the modem in last time. Neither
under the sink, not in the modem tank
it was, but in the toilet itself I found something
something similar.  At least it's something
was with a quality mark.                  
                                          
   "To Felix from Stirlitz. Absolutely se-
really,  -  passed Stirlitz open
text, - congratulations on your birthday-
Deniya, I wish  happiness in work and in personal
life. Stirlitz."                          
                                          
   The center did not respond.                      
                                          
   "Fell asleep  are they there or what?" - thought
Stirlitz repeated the message.            
                                          
   It was similar. which the center has already noted
birthday.  got drunk and sleep. Stirlitz
was upset that they got into a fight without him, and
turned off the modem.                          
                                          
   "We hung it here!"  - he pulled the faith -
Well, the tank began to purr.                     
                                          
   The English agent behind the door changed the
setu.  Unsatisfied   Stirlitz kicked
the door was kicked, the door hit the agent in the but-
su, and Stirlitz, having forgotten a bottle of toner, suspected
walked to the table.                              
                                          
   The agent, rubbing his swollen nose, entered the
toilet.                                   
                                          
   "Where does he hide the modem?"                 
                                          
   The agent began to search and found a bottle of the
Nera.  Bormann, having gotten Pastor Schlag so drunk,
that he fell under the table, tied his cord -
ki to the table leg and, rubbing his hands,
get ready  went  to  to the toilet.  In  toilet
The English agent drank toner.               
                                          
   -P-Pardon, madam, said Borman,
closed the door and stared blankly at the letter
"M".                                      
                                          
   "Stirlitz's signs are mixed up  on
doors. There is a sign on the women's restroom.
"M".  We need to think about this.   What will it say?
about Kaltenbrunner ?"            
                                          
   Thoughtful Borman weighed the pros and
"against", bent three fingers   and changed
signs.  Then I thought that I had done an extra
I dug the matter and changed the signs back.       
                                          
   “I love order,” he said out loud and
entered another door.                     
                                          
   There was a squeal, and Borman came out with a
with the tip of your palm on your right cheek.             
                                          
                                          
   "@#%$#%$@@#$%#@#$%%#@!. - thought Bor-
man, - I don’t understand anything!”                
                                          
   And the offended Borman went into the garden.         
                                          
   Everyone in the hall was already asleep. General Fon
Schwarzkopfman muttered in his sleep:             
                                          
   "Six pikes - Stalingrad. Where are you going with
diamonds, yours won't fit..."                 
                                          
                                          
   And only Stirlitz sat in the corner and
in the light of the floor lamp I read Yesenin:              
                                          
                                          
   - "No. I won't interrupt you -            
   That's what I really said.           
   And not alone. and a hundred ticks. -            
   And you didn’t want to believe it..."          
                                          
                                          
               G L A B A 7                
                                          
   The meeting with the new laboratory assistant was called
started on the beach.   Previous laboratory assistant
Stirlitz unexpectedly went on maternity leave and her
sent to the Bolshoi  VC. Stirlitz is very
there was a lack of a laboratory assistant, and in the center there was
it was decided to send a new one.                     
   In order not to attract attention, Stirlitz
didn’t walk along the beach in a uniform, but just
got up and decided to take a swim. The hot sun
poured the earth with its rays like boiling water,
and just the thought of swimming already makes you feel...
it felt light and pleasant on the soul.  Holding two
fingers his nose, Stirlitz dived into the water. Water
was warm, transparent, and he was somewhat
I allowed myself to be pampered for a few minutes. Stirlitz
lay on his back andmoved his fingers slightly.
An hour later, looking at his watch, he crawled out
water.  I went into the booth, squeezed out my family-
new underpants and combed his hair.                   
 He walked along the beach, whistling as it was
agreed with the center,   "International" and
among  many   girls tried to find
Russian laboratory assistant, relying on her in-
intuition. Stirlitz's intuition never failed
drove.                                   
    
 The Russian radio operator stood     
at  beer  stall  at     
catchy red swimsuit     
swritten Turbo Basic on     
left breast. In one hand     
she  was holding "Computer     
Press".  and in the other - what-     
mod with modem and sit-     
tail dress.     
                               
 Stirlitz walked around three times     
around  beer stall.     
No trackingwas. He couldn't     
take a risk with a new agent.     
                               
 Stirlitz liked the radio operator.         
                                          
   - You won't tell. what time is it? - ask
he is strong. This was the password.                   
                                          
   - I left the watch in Moscow. - ready-
The radio operator answered emphatically.                 
                                          
   Stirlitz took her arm, and they walked
walked along the beach.                          
                                          
   - Shall we sunbathe?                          
                                          
   The radio operator nodded.                      
                                          
   They swam to the buoys,sunbathed,
talked about the weather  in Moscow, sent
Message  to the center about the successful arrival of la-
drills.  Stirlitz told her a couple of systems
dark jokes.  She laughed delicately -
she fell in love, and Stirlitz invited her to the restaurant.  
                                          
 - Just a minute, I'll just change my clothes.  
                                          
   Stirlitz drove home and exactly after mi-
Nutu came out in black, just washed
nom tailcoat.  This hasn't happened to him since
'39.                               
                                          
   When civilian Stirlitz with a radio operator
we entered the restaurant, a surprise flashed through the hall.
lazy groan.                              
                                          
   On half-bent legs, he jumped up
a knitted waiter with a Jewish face.  
                                          
   - To you, as always, Mr. Standarten-
Fuhrer? Toner carafe and paper roll?Stirlitz leaned towards the radio operator:         
                                          
   - Do you want some paper?                       
                                          
   She shook her head negatively.      
                                          
   - Insolent, - Stirlitz boiled, - what are you doing?
bastard, don't you see that I'm with a lady?        
                                          
   To make up for his mistake, the waiter
chuckled sycophantically and in a vile voice
asked:                                  
                                          
   - Do you have a new girl again?               
                                          
   - Yes.  “New laboratory assistant,” said
Stirlitz.  He took the keyboard from the lady and
marked "*.exe".                          
                                          
   - This is for us... And more...               
                                          
   -I understand, - understanding  smirked
the waiter and ran to the kitchen.               
                                          
   - What do you understand, bastard? - close-
Stirlitz called after him, “toner for me and sham-
Pansky lady!  And so this very minute! - He
turned to the radio operator, - waiters in Ger-
such manias are Pig, you'll excuse him.      
                                          
   And Stirlitz kissed the radio operator   hand.
The entire room sat with their jaws hanging.  Pa-
Kistani spy filmed this incredible
event on a movie camera.  Gestapo agent co-
rubbed his finger in his nose:                     
                                          
   "A  what  will say by   about this
Kaltenbrunner?"                          
                                          
   Two SS men waitingfights, got enough
recently purchased printers.  Find everything
were in agonizing anticipation.              
                                          
   Stirlitz ordered a waltz from Weird Dreamand
invited the radio operator on a tour.                
                                          
   "Well, it's about to start!"  - rubbed their hands
SS men. Now everything was clear to them.        
                                          
 But the waltz ended,  Stirlitz spent
the lady in her place, but there was still no fight
it was.                                     
                                          
   The regulars were completely shocked,
when Stirlitz paid the bill and, having submitted
hand to the lady, headed for the exit. SS man
said that it was not Stirlitz, but someone
another.  Agent   Gestapo objected, and through
a minute the fight started.                    
                                          
   Stirlitz's car stopped at the house, in
whichStirlitz rented an apartment for his
new employee. Stirlitz helped the lady get out
you and they went up to the third floor.        
                                          
   - Where should I put this?   - asked the laboratory
welt, lifting a heavy suitcase with fashion 
mom PhysTech 1200.                          
                                          
   - Put it on the mezzanine, - gently say-
Stirlitz Hall - and I’ll make some paste.       
                                          
   The radio operator went into the room and changed clothes
in the uniform of a lieutenant of the signal troops, sat down to
table, took out a magnet, and, spitting on the non-
Go, I started cleaning.                       
                                          
   Stirlitz entered with a tray of paste and
sat down opposite.                             
                                          
   After drinking the paste, they listened to Tea-
Kovsky.                                 
                                          
   -Well, I have to go, - Stirlitz hurried.
He didn't want to leave, andhe took his time
me. - Well, I'm off.                        
                                          
   The radio operator sighed.                    
                                          
   - Or maybe some more paste?  - asked
Stirlitz, timid, like a schoolboy.            
                                          
   The radio operator nodded, and he stayed.        
                                          
   - What is your name?   - asked
Stirlitz.                                  
                                          
   - Katya.                                
                                          
   - Katyusha, that means!  Nice name.  Clean
Russian. And me - Stirlitz.                
                                          
                                          
               G L A B A 8                
                                          
   "Operation Dubels. What the hell
they had inmind? What are these vile faces?
are you planning?"                                
                                          
   Stirlitz was sitting at home, by the fireplace, and
smoked a pipe. On his lap lay a volume
Virt, opened on page 57.  Stirlitz
for the sake of secrecy, he pretended to read.
No one was supposed to know that he was submerged
wives in thought.                           
                                          
   "What if trade should be
drink Japan or Uruguay?"                 
                                          
   Stirlitz filled a new tube, took it from
fireplace   coal and, lighting a cigarette, began to let
rings.  He knew that without his participation Ro-
Dina will feel bad.                         
                                          
   "These scoundrels are up to something from me too
they hide, even  Muller is silent.  We need them
remove everyone, and everything will be in perfect order -
ke. And to do this you need to collect the entire top
Reich together, in the church near Schlag, to lure
their availability of games and toner and explode! Di-
I have it..." A clear picture appeared in Stirlitz’s head
plan, now he knew what to do. "And then
I will find out what Operation Dubels is and
I'll report to the center."                           
                                          
 The doorbell rang.                     
                                          
   - Tell PassWord?                      
                                          
   - PassWord.                            
                                          
   - "Iceman" - thought Stirlitz.          
                                          
   The maid opened the door.               
                                          
   - Hello,   cutie,   - said
Iceman, and, patting her on the cheek, directed-
going to the toilet. From the toilet came his voice
lightened voice:- By the way, you haven’t heard, Stir-
persons, Bormann dabbled in Goering's program
frame Disk Manager, and it ruined the document
Okay Fuhrer!                            
                                          
   Isman entered the room, adjusting his underwear
heavy.                                    
                                          
   - They installed, bastards, paid sorters-
for 10 kilobytes, I think, give me a loan
go to Stirlitz. Where are your floppy disks?   
                                          
   Stirlitz nodded towards the sideboard.             
                                          
   Isman pulled out the drawer,   put the pack
floppy disks into his uniform pocket and took out the floppy disk
from an already opened pack.                    
                                          
   Maid,  excellent  knowing the habits
Mr. Standartenführer, brought in a tray
with paste.                             
                                          
   - Iceman, - asked Stirlitz, - how are you
do you relate to women?                    
                                          
   - I'm not one of them  - he joked
Iceman, - and when?                        
                                          
   - For example, on Thursday.                 
                                          
   - And where?                               
                                          
   - In my pastor's BBS.                 
                                          
   - In BBS?  - Iceman asked doubtfully.
                                          
   - What?  - said the atheist Stirlitz, - He
it will be refurbished by Thursday, we'll invite you again
someone so that there would be no gossip later.
                                          
   - Shall we invite Borman? - Definitely, it’s boring without it.        
                                          
   Isman  made lists of who to invite
to piss off, and who shouldn’t. Stirlitz approved both
list, perfectly   knowing that those who are not
they will invite you, they will appear themselves.                   
                                          
   When Isman left, Stirlitz returned
reached for the volume of Virt.                 
                                          
   - Interesting. what will he say about this?
do Kaltenbrunner?                        
                                          
   The clock  struck eleven. In five
minutes the maid knocked on his door, well
sho knows the habits of Stirlitz.             
                                          
               G L A B A 9                
                                          
   CunningBorman slobbered on the keyboard -
Ru and Norton's handwriting wrote Message
Stirlitz.                                 
                                          
 "Dear Shtirlitz!                        
 I am very interested in you.             
 Come today to the Shtandart-Shtrasse.15.
  Wait you.            
                              P.N. "      
                                          
   - Brevity is the sister of talent, it’s time-
Bormann exclaimed and, squealing with delight,
wrote on the envelope "to Comrade Stirlitz." 
                                          
   Bormann thought everything over carefully.  This joke
ka was supposed to become the apotheosis of his work
chess   activity, his swan song
her. Everything was arranged at the indicated address.
it’s so that they would bring Stirlitz back
on a stretcher.Borman grunted quietly and imagined in his mind
this picture.                              
                                          
   Coiffured Stirlitz with a bouquet of roses and
a tailcoat enters house number 15, the door is behind him
closes. Stirlitz calls in a gentle voice
into the darkness: “Petenka!!!”...  And falls,
slipping on a grated cleanser
semi-liquid  When he falls he hits
behind the printer ribbon, and a non-
large CGA monitor.  Big Borman dos-
I couldn't hide.  MCGA, however, he saw
Goering, but he, angry at the trick with
Disk Manager'om, set Borman for
door.                                    
                                          
   So, as soon as the monitor   falls on
Stirlitz, the door automatically locks,
a small program is triggered, setting
hastily installed on the Turbo C, and opens
gas chamber. - Hey, hey! - Borman burst out laughing and
stopped short,   - what if Stirlitz doesn’t understand,
What is "P.N."?                         
                                          
   Bormann thought about it.                      
                                          
   - Stirlitz will then never follow
to this address... Parteigenosse introduced,
how no one enters the house, the monitor does not pas-
Yes, the gas chamber is idle.  But
Borman ruined half of her test
6th barracks of the Ravensbrück concentration camp!      
                                          
 Out of frustration, Borman scratched his bald head until
until it dawned on him. He will examine again
removed the keyboard, deleted the block with the word
"Stirlitz" and drove in "Stirlitz from Petit Nor-
tones".                                    
                                          
   - Now everything is in order!                
                                          
   Yes, this joke should be the funniest
Bormann's joke. Parteigenosse stood up and looked at the cha-
sy.  It was time to go to the party, or-
organized by Stirlitz.                  
                                          
   Borman got into the car, clicking on the top of his head
he let the driver know that he had to go. Ma-
the tire is moving.                             
                                          
   Roading up to the church, Borman opened the door
tsu and, already lifting his foot onto the sidewalk, discovers
I lived that I forgot the floppy disk with the letter in the disco
water.                                     
                                          
   "I remembered in time," he praised himself,
“It’s a sin to complain about memory.”         
                                          
   He had to return for a disect, and
that's why he was late.                       
                                          
   Stirlitz was nervous.  He was worried
the absence of Bormann, who was necessary for him
We are going to begin the planned operation. Rya-
Muller sat in the house with the pensive Stirlitz, 
checking the light on a mug with paste. - Whatever you say, Stirlitz, -
he said skeptically, -  and Bavarian
The paste is three times better than the Zhiguli paste.  
                                          
   - Clear stump, - muttered Stiritz, - But
where is Bormann? I'm guessing I'm thinking again
rare disgusting!                           
                                          
                                          
   - Oak understands, - Muller agreed, -
He can't live without it.                    
                                          
   "What does oak have to do with it?"  - thought Stir-
persons  He had heard this word before. And here he is
guessed it.   After all, “oaks” - in German “Du-
bels"!  And that’s exactly what that one was called
special operation of the Wehrmacht, to solve the
which he fought for so long. Stirlitz
the plural has been knocked off.                
                                          
   "Something has to do with oak trees! Well, now I
I'll extract everything from them." - Oak? - asked Stirlitz.         
                                          
   - Yes, yes, this one, with branches...          
                                          
   - By the way,  Muller, what then
Do oak trees reproduce?                        
                                          
                                          
   - Ask Kaltenbrunner.          
                                          
   - Will he say?                         
                                          
   - Nobody  does know.  what will  say
Kaltenbrunner.  - Mule said philosophically-
ler, - But still, Stirlitz, no matter what you
they said Bavarian paste even at six
times better than the Zhiguli one. - Clear stump, - Stirlitz muttered and
was silent.                                   
                                          
   Admiring people wandered around Stirlitz in circles.
Adjutant of Himmler Fritz, old
carefully listening to every word
his idol.                               
                                          
   - “Clear stump,” he took notes.     
                                          
   The English agent took photographs from behind
altar page from Fritz's notebook.   
                                          
   There were quite a few officials in the hall
ditch  Most  wanted to try
themselves in the role of confessors, and they scattered
walked around the rooms with the parishioners
Pastor Schlag.  The others were having fun
could.  Goering and Goebbels rocked for
hands behind Schellenberg's legs, and Himmler considered
tal:                                      
   - Ain, tswei, policeman,drive, fire, grenadier !!!              
                                          
   Schellenberg, dissatisfied with something, shouted,
that he is ready to erase the screw for the great fu-
rera, flew over the  altar and saddled
English agent.                       
                                          
   - B-but!!!  - Schellenberg yelled, - es-
Kadron, follow me!!!                        
                                          
   The English agent for conspiracy made
he pretended that he had not noticed anything.        
                                          
   Goering and Goebbels dragged Schellenberg away
from the agent, and again I heard:           
                                          
     - Ain, tswei, policeman!!!              
                                          
   Agent prudently sneaked behind
curtain. Iceman and Holtoff were absorbing a huge
hard drive, washing it down with toner.           
                                          
   - Ah-ah!!! - was heard over Shtir's ear -
faces.  Not a single muscle moved on his face
Russian intelligence officer.  Well of course it is
was Bormann.                               
                                          
   "It's time to leave," thought Stirlitz. Him
All that remained was to take Muller and Pastor Schla-
ha, and it was possible to explode.                
                                          
 Picking his teeth, Borman called:         
                                          
   - Stirlitz, I need to tell you something
interesting...                             
                                          
   - Borman, how do oak trees reproduce?     
                                          
   Borman was taken aback.                         
                                          
   - Well, this... - he made a vague
great gesturehands, - the programmer leads
laboratory assistant, and this... - Borman repeated
your gesture.                                
                                          
   - I see, - Stirlitz nodded, - you too
you don't know.  Where do you think the oak trees are?
reproduce faster in Russia or Germany
mania?                                    
                                          
   - Don't worry, Stirlitz! Display
Here all "Mikroshi" are from Russia!  Already a train
coming.                                     
                                          
   Stirlitz leaned back in his chair.            
                                          
   "Echelon! They will take from Russia! Yes, but
because then in Russia the technical
balance, and we, Russian SysOps, will get off
crazy!"                                   
                                          
   - Stirlitz, - muttered Borman, - let's move away,
I need to tell you something important...     
                                          
   -Leave me alone, - Stirlitz waved him off.       
                                          
   A huge thought process was going on in his head
work.  Stirlitz realized that to save "Mik-
Rosh" is much more important than destroying a bunch of
drunken officers who have never...
be they die.                               
                                          
   Borman, seeing that Stirlitz has no time for him,
looked around and noticed Fritz.         
                                          
 "Himmler's adjutant", - he thought and
called:                                   
                                          
   - Fritz! Just a minute!                  
                                          
   And grabbing the copper button with your fingers
on the adjutant's uniform, he whispered hotly:    
                                          
   - Fritz! Do you want to help Stirlitz?     
                                          
   - Clear stump!  This is my best friend. I'm with
he drank for brotherhood.                    
                                          
   - You see, Stirlitz has a contract with
Norton...                               
                                          
   -I understand, nodded Fritz.              
                                          
   - And Kaltenbrunner himself found out about this
Trouble might happen, we must save Stirlitz!
                                          
                                          
  “I’m ready,” Fritz stretched out.           
                                          
   - Give Stirlitz this file.        
                                          
   Bormal  let go of the button on his uniform
Fritz and secretly slipped a disk into his bosom
that one                                       
                                          
   Stirlitz made his way to the exit.           
                                          
   The inspired Fritz caught up with him only about
lo doors.                                
                                          
   - Mister Standartenführer I must...
                                          
   - You don't owe me anything! - pushed away
his Stirlitz, - Drunken pig!             
                                          
   On the street, a patrol accosted Stirlitz.   
                                          
   - Allow  documents, Mr. official-
cer! - said the bald corporal.            
                                          
   - @# %$%#$# $@ #% $#% #$ #$# %%%%!... 
- Stirlitz had no time.                  
                                          
   The corporal opened  Russian-German conversation
vornik                                   
                                          
   “Oh, this is Stirlitz,” he said, looking
following the departing scout.               
                                          
   "Am I a drunken pig?"  - Fritz was surprised,
leaning against the curtain.  He started to have...
thoughts wander.                             
                                          
   The English agent closely followed
current events.  He came out from behind
curtains and, straightening her apron, coquettishly
called:                                
                                          
   - Mister Himmler's adjutant, they couldn't
would you give me a few minutes?       
                                          
                                          
 - Sorry,  fraulein, I need to save
Stirlitz.                                 
                                          
   Blow of a professional boxer "froy-
len" dumped                           
adjutant   on 
floor. Rubping  
hands and bruises - 
ny fist, agent 
crouched over the bez- 
breathing body 
and  as usual 
got acquainted  with 
contents of the car- 
manov.  Except 
letters he arrived - 
vatil twenty 
bytes, listing                           
all B B S and                            
distribution Turbo                         
               Professional.              
Having read  the file, the agent congratulated himself on
promotion and successful operation
in Berlin.  No wonder he was away for so many days
dressed as a woman.                          
                                          
   On Standard Strasse the agent quickly found
house 15.                                   
                                          
   - That's all. - the agent said to himself and
went into the house.                              
                                          
   The door closed behind him.               
                                          
 This was Bormann's most successful joke...
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
              G L A B A 1 0Stirlitz lay on a hillock, at a fork
railwayroad, and looked into the bottomless
blue sky.  This day could be the last
him a day in his life. But Stirlitz was able to
koen, because he knew that he was fulfilling his
duty, duty not only to the Motherland, but
first of all to yourself.           
                                          
                                          
                                          
   Stirlitz lit the last floppy disk,
crumpled the pack and wiped the barrel with it
ber magnet.                          
                                          
                                          
   A train with "Mik-
roshami".                                  
                                          
                                          
                
  -  А  я так и 
  не успел бро- 
  сить  курить, 
  -    вздохнул 
  Штирлиц     и 
  щелкнул  вык- 
  лючателем.    
  Паровоз   по- 
  равнялся   со 
  Штирлицем,  и 
  Штирлиц  бро- 
  сил    первую 
  пачку дискет. 
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
           З A K Л Ю Ч E Н И E            
                                          
   3а окном шел Штирлиц  и размечался вин-
честер.                                   
                                          
   Iosif Vissarionovich turned away from the
nitor and asked:                         
                                          
   - Comrade Zhyukov, have you been infected yet?  
                                          
   - No, Comrade Stalin.                 
                                          
   - Then giveAIDSTEST.                
                                          
   Zhukov sighed obediently, took out from his right
in his pocket a box of   floppy disks and handed
Stalin. By crumbling  several floppy disks into
receiver, the commander-in-chief thoughtfully
smoked from the extended CC.                   
                                          
                                          
                                          
   Ten minutes later he asked:         
                                          
 - How are things going on "Mitinsky" market?  
                                          
 - They are trading, - Zhukov answered simply.      
                                          
 - How does Comrade A. Isaev feel? 
                                          
                                          
 - He accomplished a feat again, - sad  
said Zhukov.                             
                                          
 - This is good, - said Stalin, - I think 
I think he should be promoted.         
                                          
 - And I’m of the same opinion, comrade chief -
Commander,” Zhukov supported him, “I
it seems that  he  is worthy  ranks
Gruppenführer CC.                         
                                          
                                          
- Gruppenführer?  - Stalin thought, -
That's good.   I have a new one for him
task...                                
                                          
   A behind Stirlitz was walking by the window and was marked
Winchester                                
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
P.S. BCE NAMES.SURNAMES. TIME AND MECTO DAY-
  STVIES ARE FICTIONAL. ALTHOUGH IN PLACES .......