╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║ ▒▒▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░ ║
║ ▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ║
║~▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒░~~▒▒▒▒▒░~~▒▒░~▒▒░~▒▒░~▒▒░~~▒▒░~~▒▒▒▒▒▒░~~║
║ ▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ║
║ ▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒░ ▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
Сборник v.12 (3521.8s)
1. Идет, значит, по горной дороге старичок-мусульманин
(М) а навстречу сосед
(С) с женой. Жена впереди, сосед, естественно, сзади.
(М) - Вай, Ахмет, зачем законы нарушаешь?! Ведь в Коране
сказан-о, что жена должна идти позади мужа...
(С) - Когда Коран писали, мин на дорогах не было.
Фатима, вперед!
2. Летит самолет, ....
почти садится, а шасси @#$%, не выпускаются, стюрдесса
готовит народ к посадке...
Стюардесса(С):
- Дорогие господа, у нас небольшая неполадка !
Народ(H):
- Ах-Ух !
Стуардеса:Просуньте руку в карман на кресле впереди, найдите
в нем отвертку, выверните
под своим креслом четыре болтика, уберите кресло,
просуньте ноги в люк - А ТЕПЕРЬ ДРУЖНО БЕЖИМ ПО ПОЛОСЕ ! :))))
3. У мужика случилась бутылка водки,а выпить не с кем.
Думает,что же я,совсем что-ли алкаш ?
Поймал таракана,привязал к ноге нитку.
Отпустил нитку,таракан побежал.
- Ну, с от"ездом тебя! Давай на посошок!
Выпил.Закусил.Посидел.I pulled the thread towards myself.
- Great! Welcome back! This matter needs to be cleaned up!
4. For once, a Georgian wandered into subj, walks and walks, and gets there
finally to Picasso. Well, I was stunned, naturally:
"Oh - says - Kykasso, Kykasso!!!!!!!!" Here he comes towards him
pioneer and says reproachfully: “Georgian uncle, it’s not right
"Kikasso" and "Picasso"! And the Georgian said to him: “Slush, boy, tebe.”
what's your name?" “Petya” “So go ahead, Katya, get out of here...
Oh, Kykasso, Kykasso!!!!"
5. A man stands near the monument to Pushkin and says:
-Kushkin!
A boy standing nearby interrupts him:
-Uncle, this is not Kushkin, but Pushkin.
-Boy, what's your name?
-Petya.
- So, Katya, get out of here.
6. Guide in the museum:
- Please note, this is Pushkin’s skull when he was 10 years old.
- And this is Pushkin’s skull when he graduated from the lyceum.
- And this is Pushkin’s skull after the duel, see, there’s a hole in it?
A citizen standing next to the party intervenes:
- Is it possible for one person to have 3 (three) skulls? :-[]
Guide:
- You, comrade, are resting, so rest.
-(Come on, comrades Chukchi, to the next room.
7. The chicken laid an egg - 5 kg
Well, reporters run up to her:
- How did you do it?
- Secret.
- What are your plans for the future?
- Lay an 8 kg egg.
Approaching the rooster:
- How did you do it?
- Secret.
- What are your plans for the future?
- Punch the ostrich in the face.
8. Restaurant. Two Georgians are sitting at a table.
One screws upkebab with adjika,
washes it all down with wine, and the other only drinks mineral water.
-Listen, Gogi, why don’t you eat anything?
-Ah-ah, the doctor forbade me!
They meet in a restaurant the next day.
And Gogi eats kebabs with adjika and drinks everything.
-Listen, Gogi! What are you doing, the doctor told you not to?!!!
-Ahh, I gave him a hundred dollars - he allowed me!
9. Shop. A man comes in, looks at the display cases and asks
to the saleswoman:
- Girl, do you have any panties?
- No.
- Is it on sale?
10. 2 Georgians are talking:
(1) - Gogi, why is your donkey pecking at my corn?
(2) - He doesn’t bite, he’s a nu-yu-hit!
(3) - It sniffs seven hectares, right???
11. One pilot to another:
Tell the skydivers to stop jumping.
We haven't taken off yet.
12. -Hello ba... young lady! young lady! I'm smo... Smolny I tell you
me? sailor Zheleznyak. no... well, young lady, give me Smolny.
yes, Smolny to me...well, in the end! sailor Zheleznyak.
Hello! Smolny? Smolny? Lenina for me. Sailor Zheleznyak.
Yes, the revolutionary sailor Zheleznyak. I'm L-e-n-n-a. Yes. Lenin.
Hello? Lenin? Lenin? This is the revolutionary sailor Zheleznyak.
Hello Vladimir Ilyich. WHAT DOES FUCK YOU?
13. A soldier approaches the ensign and asks:
- Comrade Ensign, can I watch TV in the cockpit?
- Ensign:
- You can. Just don't turn it on.
14. South. Georgian. Wine shop.
- A vacationer approaches.
- Is there any wine?
- What do you need?
- Agdam
- Yes. (pours wine from a single barrel
inbottle, sticks a label, gives it away)
The next one comes up.
- Do you have any “Southern Night” port wine?
- Yes. (pours from the same barrel, sticks a label, gives it away)
- One more.
- Is there any champagne?
- Yes. The labels are out. Should I pour it?
Processing (c) MDF HACKER
Compiler IS-DOS (c) MERCURY
(095)499-9054 (Alexey.)
(095) 192-7798 (Mikhail)
Share your thoughts about the article