Reprinted from cont. - Dedicated to graduates of military departments (part 1).

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│ PRINTED WITH CONTINUATION.		       │
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 (C) Kuzma Pacifistyuk
 (R) Fedin Pavel



	     Dedicated to graduates of military departments.
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		      Part 1. CONSTRUCTION

    ...This is not the place for you! Here you will quickly wean yourself off the disgrace.
violate! It was you who swore in civilian life like little children,
drank vodka and crawled around them red, damn, like
cucumbers No, well, I understand, you can drink a bottle, well, a liter, well
two, - but why get fat like pigs?! Enough! There will be
those to do business for real and become people.
Here the law is this: if you come to the army, damn it, be a man.
You will become a woman when you come back. And don't do it to me
their grievances - people like you are already laughing at jokes.  And you and
don't blink an ear...

    Attention! With their backs to each other in a checkerboard pattern diagonally
become! As you line up, run one by one!  Private,
take your hands out of your mouth. Why do you always build crookedly?!  Everyone is equal
fuck in the genital cracks! That's it, be it. Shut your mouth, private, -
panties are visible. Let’s not drag our feet, let’s know
lump.

    I am your commander, my last name is Major Ivanov. I'm coming to you
came from the Kantemirovskaya division. Well, how is itknown to be fools
don't hold! The reorganization affected our division and other branches
troops. Look at me, where I am normal and where I am merciless.  I
I didn’t graduate from the Academy, but I will give you an army education!  I advise
you should mark this on your forehead. And if you fucking have a head like
a toilet where nothing stays in, then get yourself one for information
notebook. Or better yet, two, like mine. That's it, be it.

    Hey you asshole, raise your face! Why do we sleep while standing on the move?  Before
You're worth a whole major! Why is that belt on your scrotum so big?
lurking like a pregnant woman? Does your throat hurt?! Learn the charter - to get sick
there won't be. After construction, you will immediately take and rewrite the entire structure
tav by heart five times. Be silent, I ask you! You are not here for me
Find out, I’m literate myself. If you want to say something, just stop
keep quiet. Sloppy, damn... If it were wartime, they would take him out
If only you were in an open field, they would put you facing the wall and let you go...
I hit it in the forehead with two bursts. Why the fuck are you looking at me with your eyes?
are you looking? When a soldier is scolded, you need to stand at attention and blush.
In winter, that is, at night, the guard changes twice a day.  Otherwise
orderly, sleeping, standing on the bedside table. My conscience has become completely insolent -
oh, damn...

    Sergeant, the platoon is not doing enough fighting against the external
house The orderly has no haircut and hangs by his ears. This is the claws of the industry
It's like an eagle's, and probably also climbs trees. Abashidze for-
grew up,like an elephant, and hairy as hell. The necks are unshaven - but with this -
The Motherland begins... Make everyone's necks edging! And liquidated
to take into account such a flaw as hairstyles. The hairstyle should be like
me, - bare at the back, and bare in the front, just like the back.  Sergeant, what?
Are you smiling like a moron, are you smart or what?  In the platoon seven times -
guildyaev, and he wears his hair in the parting, damn... Button up at least
would! The boots are not sufficiently shaped, so they must be cleaned with
Yesterday and in the morning put it on with a fresh head! And remember, all yours
troubles because your upper button is talking...
Xia. And the buttons must be sewn tightly, like a barrier!  This-
I'll figure it out properly in an hour and punish just anyone!

    Now about the order. You live here like pigs in a den.  In the dark
barrels
- knee-deep muddy slippers, in one nightstand I found two
naked women. I tore off one, but the second one is not removable, it stuck together,
so let the one whose bedside table is immediately rebuff it! Like-
Chat, or I will commit atrocities. Today, damn it, Tuesday is coming
Saturday. So, behold, on Saturday the first and second bedside tables in
dismissal will not work. This is so that they know that I am your commander here, and
no, $b-na-x, a locomotive whistle at the Kazan station.

    There's trash all around, damn it! There's a whole urn of papers standing there, and no one
he doesn't make any decisions.  You lead a marmot's lifestyle,
Rush soldiers! What kind of pig passed through here? Cow,fuck what
is it?

    So, so be it. Today we are organizing a Sunday cleanup.
A soldier without a job is a potential criminal. Now until evening
It's time for everyone to plow so that the sweat flows like hail. But don't drink a lot of water,
otherwise all the water will appear on your back in the form of salt. I set the task
chu: collect all the bricks and burn them. Here in this place dig a ca-
Nava, dig from this fence to the end. I agreed with the shovels -
Xia. Who has an aptitude for mathematics? At your place?  What's the last name?  Yes,
Damn, Sidorov, take a shovel and you’ll dig up the roots!  Barracks
clean thoroughly. Cover the beds with sheets so that the mattress
was even squarer. And remember that every fold on the blanket is
This is a loophole for the enemy! In Lenin's room, don't swear loudly
go away and make a “Combat leaflet”. And then you first swear, be damned,
cover it, and then you will take the bread with the same hands.  Don't you know
what to write? Well... $f-fuck, two or three small notes, not praise
words melt - draw a picture. And in general!  The combat leaflet must
be be a combat leaflet, because this is a combat leaflet. If you
If you glue the photo, then look at me, the face in the photo must
It's good to be square. Otherwise I’m here for you, doing my work here
I won't bark.

    Sweep dusty puddles on the parade ground and eliminate them by dispersing them.
So that the officers no longer urinate when they walk through the parade ground.  Substitute
thief with a crowbar. It is not necessary what is best, it is necessary as it should be.  I'm without youI know that a broom is more convenient, but what is important is not the result, but that you
tired. And so that I don’t have a single personnel in the barracks at this time
I haven't seen it!

    After work, we line up one at a time for dinner. If you are all staff-
The kids were so smart, why don’t you go to the dining room in formation?  And
so that they come in from the front door, otherwise they reported to me that the participation
There have been cases of personnel eating food through the anus.  And
Be quiet, otherwise the tea will get cold. This will be detrimental to you
I guarantee how not to go to grandma. Then everyone to the barracks, and si-
be so quiet that you can hear what the TV is saying.  I
I'll arrange a surprise scheduled inspection.

    At the command “hang up” the night will come.  Then everyone
sleep and no talking, damn. Starting in the morning and talking all night,
rite. In the morning the wake-up signal is three green whistles up.  In the morning
we will paint the bars on the barracks, because in the army everything should
be uniform, trimmed, painted and sprinkled with sand. If
who doesn’t understand what the f*ck is a lattice, I’ll explain it quickly
cially for fools and students: this is a metal sheet with pro-
chopped into squares.

    I said everything, fuck. And now there’s a ten minute smoke break, and after
Five minutes for everyone to line up. You can smoke, but make cigarette butts
here. Move around to the left! Why are you limping sadly here -
Are you planning to give birth or something? Don't be afraid, bet! Will you still remember Mayo-
ra Ivanovaone kind word. Because here I am your father,
noah, and your mother is a field kitchen. As Admiral Suvorov said in
the Russo-Japanese War - hard to learn, easy to die!


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  ^BE - a difficult to translate decent expression inherent in the environment
him to the command staff of our army. Derived from contaminant-
tions of some idioms of obscene vocabulary, probably archaic
origin. Simply put, swear words gathered together in a cunning heap.
You swear in front of everyone, but there is nothing to reproach

  ^^EB-HA-X is a completely translatable, almost decent expression, mainly
tal is similar to the first. Most characteristic of teaching
members of the military department of the Omsk Polytechnic Institute.


		      TO BE CONTINUED.