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(C) SPEED INFO
(R) RINDEX
I'm tired of being torn between them. Now it goes like this: a week -
wife, vodka for a week.
In bed, the husband began to personify the blacksmith on the anvil!
Everyone wants “new Russians,” but where should they take the old ones?
There were many hidden places on her body where no one had yet set foot.
la human leg.
He gave his mistress a vibrator for her birthday, and the next
the day she kicked me out.
In life I am very fragile, but in bed I can withstand loads of
several atmospheres.
I wanted a child, and Alexander provided me with every possible help.
He rubbed my chest, but did not light a fire.
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(C) RINDEX
At the Ukrainian market, a man sells a parrot and a turkey. Suitable
the patron and asks:
- How much for a parrot?
- Million.
- Why is it so expensive? Is he talking?
- Yes. He says: “You are a fool!”
- Who is he talking about?
- Buy it, it will be about you.
The buyer stood, thought, and said:
- How much is a turkey?
- Ten million!
- Well, he also says: “You’re a fool!” ?
- No, but he thinks so.
* * *
A bandit comes to a jewelry store and says to the seller:
- Listen, I need a gold cross, like my homies.
The seller to himoffers to look at the counter and choose any
fight, whatever you like.
- Uh-uh. No. I need a gram worth 700-900 so that it hangs here
on this chain.
The seller asks to wait and goes to the warehouse. After a while
time he comes and says:
- There is only one left for 858 grams.
The bandit twirled the cross in his hands and answered:
- I need the same weight, but without a gymnast.
* * *
Do you know that “new Chukchi” have appeared? No? They have little
new skis and 600 reindeer.
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(R)IRONMAN
COLLECTION OF STATEMENTS OF SOVIET OFFICERS
Textbook for junior and intermediate students
educational staff.
"In civilian life you don't need fools.
That's why I'm here."
Unknown ensign.
90. Now I will explain to you why the stop valve on the train is red, but on
airplane - blue.
91. In case of an emergency, pants should be placed on a stool with the fly
to the exit.
92. I’ll rip your hands off now so you don’t chat at random.
93. The radio station should be located in the head of the column leader.
94. Screams and groans of the dead were heard on the battlefield.
95. The reorganization affected the division and other branches of the military.
96. The face in the photograph should be square.
97. Why are you lying here? This is not where you belong!
98. As soon as the diode opens, the Ki-law begins to operate
rkhgofa.
99. What is itlattice? This is a metal sheet with holes cut into it
with holes.
100. The machine works like this: one, two, three - and you’re gone!
101. Eliminate such a disadvantage as hairstyles.
102. All buttons must be sewn tightly, like a barrier.
103. What are you writing here in green ink in black and white?
104. I know that you have an ass instead of a head. To all of you
You need to have information in notebooks - like mine.
105. Abashidze, overgrown like an elephant, hairy as hell!
106. Don't put your hand where the dog won't put his nose.
107. So you say: radiation, radiation. Some sailors
for example, they do not leave nuclear submarines for years, but
I expect their wives to give birth to normal, healthy children.
108. - If a stone is thrown up, then because. a force acts on him
gravity will cause it to fall to the ground.
- What if he falls into the water?
- This does not concern us, this is done in the fleet.
109. Be silent, I ask you! Are you a cadet or where? During the exercises
or what?
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