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│ TIPS FROM EXPERIENCED. │
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(C) Igor Sergeev
(C) Mikhail Silin
(R)IRONMAN
UNIFIED THEORY
sports and recreational glue.
(Essay on Applied Sociology)
"...But I love you so much
them, these pointy tits
and smooth butts."
K. Zvezdochetov
PART 1
Introduction
Mikhail and I are buffer workers. Buffer workers are a certain social
category of men.
“It’s no secret,” Mikhail once formulated, that cultural
the level of women is on average higher than that of men due to traditional
drunkenness of the latter. Thus there is a shortage
decent men, since quite a large number
women cannot find a partner according to their culture
ny requests. But at the same time, there are people who are quite intuitive
ligent, and serving at once all this mass of unfortunates,
i.e. creating, as it were, a buffer between the women themselves and the search
kami them husband. This is us - the buffer workers. To the joy of high
comoral individuals can be safelyto say - we are very dumb -
no, but we are creative people."
In particular, the goal of my research with Mikhail was to incriminate
glue (i.e. meeting women on the street) and developing basic
new provisions of the theory. Street glue - unlike other vi-
Dov glue allows you to achieve the greatest freedom in choice
contingent, because in other places there is selection based on interest
myself For example, in the world of rock music the situation is generally catastrophic.
logical As a rule, the women there are vile, smoky tu-
owls, stupid and unsympathetic, and even those are clearly not at all
enough. But there is plenty of all kinds of sexually transmitted infections there. Other
business is the street. The only difficulty is the deep-rooted taboo on
street dating, especially in Moscow and especially at the monument
Pushkin. This is due to the prevailing misconception that “with a decent
you won’t meet a person on the street.” But in the theater for some reason you can
but... What, one might ask, is the difference? It's just that
in our statistical studies there are two prevailing
street glue method:
The first one is for morons: “Girl, won’t you let me smoke?”
or “Girl, can you tell me what time it is?” - this is 80%
all attempts.
Second - sit down at the other end of the bench and, starting to un-
talking, say, about the weather or commenting on passers-by, or with
joyful: “Girl, I saw you somewhere!” slowly
startmove the lower part of the body along the bench - "
drift method - 15%.
Both methods are equally doomed and equally discredit the entire
idea. In fact, street glue breaks down into a series solution
tasks, each of which implements one of the following con-
concepts.
PART 2
Basic Concepts
1. The concept of places is one of the main ones in the unified theory of sports
- healing glue.
“You know,” Mikhail once said with a lustful brilliance,
lump in my eyes - that there are places where you can pick up a girl ten times
easier than anywhere else?"
"Surely, but where are they? Taverns are different, there are majors and
limit, which we cannot bear."
"Do you want one thing offhand? This is a movie poster at the exit from Ka-
Dashevsky baths!
" ? "
"Imagine the psychological state of a person after
baths The mood is great! There is time! The men's first thought is
a glass at a time! What about girls? The first step is to the poster. That's where
glue. Checked!"
The concept of places realizes the precise absence of a target setting.
These are places where people do not have a specific task, there is free
time and a little boring. These are squares, parks, boulevards, beaches,
faini, posters, etc. According to the pace of human behavior in these places
the absence of a target installation is determined with a 100% guarantee.
2. General selection - based on external characteristics. According to the generally accepted five-point system - approach girls at least 3+, based on clothing,
by manners, by the absence of a goal setting. Availability of target
attitudes serve as a barrier to communication. People, especially girls,
cannot, as a rule, communicate normally and think about purchasing
tights at the same time.
3. It is suggested that one person approach two girls. If there are two of them,
then most likely there is no target setting, they are more colorful
reposted. Statistics have shown that for single people, the
shield complex, because you pester one (dirty, of course),
and two, by definition, cannot be pestered. There is, however, one
underwater pebble - remove the second one, but this is a matter of technique. According to
early statistics, the “one to two” option is the most effective
tive. The two-for-two approach is not recommended. Beware
pairs with the ratio: 1 - 4 points, 2 - 2 points and below. Number two
gets wildly angry and prevents you from working, rightly understanding that
You didn’t come here for her sake.
4. The initial glue phase is one of the most difficult. The approach should
produce natural selection - bullshit aside - show
that you have nothing in common with street thugs, you must
but to make you laugh (which means relax), you need to gently present yourself, and
all this is supposedly only for her, i.e. you need to look in moderation
Letantski. There are two options:
a) linking the first phrase to the external situation, showing when
thisthe ability to show extraordinary optimism in everyday life
life, but, alas, there may not be external events, or
an attack of debility will find you;
b) preliminary preparation is more reliable, but it is necessary to issue
exemplary homework for improvisation,
albeit not related to the phenomena occurring around. One-
However, maximum connection to the terrain is desirable, the illusion of im-
provisioning masks the core of homemade preparations.
5. Communication should be natural and easy - don’t show off!
6. When presenting yourself, you need to get as much information as possible about
object without betraying your professionalism.
7. Upon receipt of information, the prospects for further
communication - the presence of a roof, social status, social circle,
moral character, intellectual level, presence of complexes.
The communication process is built from three phases: contact, control
meeting, test. There may be several control meetings - according to
necessary. Basic rule: never try to do
everything the first time. The control meeting is purely spiritual
nature, attempts at rapprochement in this phase are permissible only in part
no case. The test ends with sexual intercourse. If the object
deserves, it is necessary to obtain the maximum number of
phone number, home and work, place of work (study), time
finishing work (study) - i.e. hard circleswhich he walks
object. This is necessary in case of a breakdown on one of the circles -
for example, an error (intentional or accidental) in a telephone number.
At the same time, a meeting after work (study) is not before! - produces
positive impression. In particularly difficult cases, you can use
use the rule - the process is easier, the more it is stretched out in
time. You can start by getting familiar, sitting on its tail. If
this is an eternal oncoming - ride next to you without making an attempt -
contact current. For this purpose, strict circles are needed “from work”, “to
work." In case of failure (failure of the object, complexity of the situation)
mark the time and place, often this is a point on a rigid circle,
so you can use these points again, the approach is this
case is greatly facilitated - the illusion of old acquaintance
, or definitely breaks off, at least it turns out right away
zu, saving time, yours and others.
8. The contrast method has very high effectiveness,
built on the basis of the difference in potential of individuals.
The method has been tested several times (mainly on Tverskoy and Go-
Golevsky boulevards) and is as follows: selected
boorish, sexually horny drunk or just
male gopnik. The drunk moves along the boulevard, getting hooked
to everyone in a row and by everyone, on average, after 5 minutes,
creating a background for you. Following, in caseworthy object
sit down in his place immediately. In our opinion it is the same
Two formulas are effective:
a) admiration for the moral character of the object is expressed. Next
follows a conversation about the low culture of individuals and
the resulting difficulties for everyone;
b) "...was going to help you send him off, but you yourself were very...
coped well. Apparently, experience takes its toll? Next time
speak as in point "a".
The effectiveness of the contrast method is 90-95%. Taking into account
its simplicity - the figure is very high.
9. The concept of original kindness. The relationship to the object should
always be friendly. And why communicate with those who
do you treat me badly? Therefore one should never provoke
object. In the process of research on the southern coast of Crimea to the authors
joined by someone L. - associate professor of one of the Moscow universities, 46
years, to exchange experiences. An interesting find by L. was the “pop-
river section". Upon arrival at the place, L. parked his car on
leaving the beach from 12.00 to 14.00, i.e. at a time when all
the village goes to lunch. Thus, within 2 hours he
looked through the entire contingent and declared with a calm soul: "
Let's go from here guys, there's nothing to do here! ". Cross section
study in Moscow gave good results in controlling foreign language, singing
college and a number of medical schools. The very method of L.’s approach was the basis
van onprovocations, and we have clearly seen the smallness of it
effectiveness, although all the previously mentioned concepts, except
paragraph 5, L. fulfilled completely. Here are some typical situations:
a) if two girls were playing cards on the beach, L. would come over
from behind, he was pulling the elastic band of the top beach from one of the girls
clothes and, hitting the girl on the back with it, delicately illuminated
asked: “So, what do we have in the deck?”
b) if one girl sunbathed with her nose in the sand - the case is complicated -
ny - L. took a stone of 30-40 kg. weight and put it on her ass,
and then, giggling, he watched as she crawled out from under him;
c) if a group of girls was nearby, L. began
with obscene smiles throw stones in their direction - first -
small ones, then bigger ones, then really big ones, nano-
any physical damage.
Alas, there is a violation of the concept of naturalness, and therefore
and a significant decrease in success rate. "Cross section" on
It was further developed into the “fast scanning” method. Case
is that the glue process on the boulevards was hampered by the thought that somewhere
There may be more worthy objects nearby. Therefore it was
It was decided to conduct a preliminary review. For this we use
there was a trolleybus No.15 running parallel to Tverskoy and Gogolevs-
to whom the boulevards. When traveling back and forth it was possible within
10 minutes to evaluate the entire contingent in the current time interval.At this point, the quick scan ended and the detail began.
naya development.
PART 3
Our competitors
During our research to develop working models of adhesive
a number of personalities competing with us were discovered:
1. "Watermelon Head" - real name unknown. Works
on Tverskoy Boulevard and near the Rossiya cinema. Suitable with the question
catfish "Girl, don't you recognize me?" Provided an invaluable service
for it served as a background for the contrasting method. Calculated by "glue"
following."
2. “Beard” - a man 45-50 years old, extremely cautious. Works me-
tod drift. It was not possible to obtain additional information about him
due to the latter's extreme caution.
3. “Prof” is a 45-year-old man who speaks Russian well. In summer, live
wind in Moscow, in winter - in Austria. Sometimes he walks with a Great Dane. On the belt
- a bag of groceries, specially tailored clothes. Can hold
Autonomous up to 4 days. Communicates mainly with hairy people.
It was calculated through them.
4. "Khokhmachi" - two scumbags who only peck for fun
ugly old women. Our guys!
5. Works on Tverskoy Boulevard, where, after sitting down next to the object, he spends a long time
and talks tediously about symphonic music. Appearance is not
metallic
All of the above, as well as other unidentified professionals
or amateurs can be used as a background (see part 2, paragraph 8).PART 4
Working models
According to the developed concepts, a number of working models were created
pour glue. Here are some of them that showed the greatest results:
activity:
1. "Souvenir" - the method is based on the idea of simplicity of the approach.
A simple, cheerful item is given - a Cheburashka badge, colored
current, postcard, etc. The author used a simple plot -
ny drawing. The souvenir is given under the pretext or "just
yes." Out of 200 souvenirs, only two were refused.
cases, i.e. Efficiency - 99%. Positive side effect
as statistics on reactions to the same souvenir are collected
you can get information about the object.
2. “Trait” - maximally realizes the idea of artificial
boron on contact. They work together. Held on the sidewalk
chalk line. Moving away from the line of meters by 200 1st number
approaches the object and explains that he is a street bailiff
la, works from corner to line, etc. Approaching the object with
line, it is necessary to explain that your zone ends here -
Well, another person is working further, and here he is. Number
the second approaches the object and explains the current situation -
tion. The "Trait" method produces the most severe natural repellent
boron and, as a result, has a low overall efficiency. Pos-
wants to highlight objects with unconventional thinking.
3. “Note” - the method differs in minimalcosts.
Used in crowded public transport. Ob-
A note with the text is quietly thrust into his pocket:
“Urgently call the number...” and the number of your telephone number.
lefona. Oddly enough, but this moronic move gave an unexpected
given a high efficiency - 50%. Analysis showed that such a high
the result is due to a sharp change in the psychological state
of the object. The fact is that when you come home and find in your car-
mana note, the subjects were frightened and wondered what had happened
some misfortune, and they completely forgot to call or
something like that. So they call to find out
what happened. Your stupid, simple-minded explanation,
that nothing happened brings a feeling of relief, and,
as a result, an influx of positive emotions. Against this background
further explanation that the transport was overcrowded and
I wanted to meet you, but I couldn’t even approach you, yes
and speaking in a crowd is not very convenient, so I had to, barely
reaching out with your hand, slip a note, etc. - everything is perceived-
is very favorable. The object is happy that nothing is wrong
nothing happened and is imbued with sympathy for you (you are not
deserved, but in our case necessary). Minus
method is the absence of direct natural selection,
but a telephone conversation allows for partial di-
agnostic.
4.Contrast method - discussed in detail in part 2, paragraph 8.
5. The “chain dating” method is categorically rejected -
through someone, unfortunately now the most widespread. Me-
Tod oppresses the psyche with its lack of freedom, because central
his idea is “take it, otherwise this won’t happen soon” or “be-
"Take what they give."
CONCLUSION
Results of statistical studies conducted in 1983-85.
brilliantly confirmed the theoretical positions. To the costs of
production can be attributed to the disease and further hasty
treatment with vibramycin of one of the members of the author’s team
lective, and, as a result, 12 subjects. But art requires
There are no victims. With the advent of the AIDS era, we definitely recommend re-
go for the “all in rubber” style. The problem we have already considered
has been exaggerated by the Moskovsky Komsomolets newspaper for several years. Judging
according to publications, the newspaper was choked by a stream of contradictory letters
seven received by the editor. And in general regular publication
suffering letters on this topic can hardly be considered
as a way to solve the problem. Our example shows that creative
creative young people are able to solve a problem better and faster,
especially since, according to tradition, the leading principle in these matters comes from
belongs to a man. As proof of this, the United
The theory of sports and health glue has successfully withstoodtest
tania and introduced into production. Note that the editorial approach
"MK" in general is fundamentally wrong, and without developing common principles -
pov and knowledge of the laws of applied sociology will not move the needle
dead center. There is little hope for the so-called “Community Clubs”
nia". They bear the stamp of inferiority and develop in humans
ka inferiority complex. They hope that the attitude
people will soon change to such clubs, so far they are not coming -
Xia. In addition, clubs do not provide sufficient freedom of choice.
After the first publication of this article, some unbridled
young men repeatedly remarked to the authors that “picking up a woman” is much more
simpler. We would like to note that all sports and health glue
is not aimed at solving the problem of “picking up a woman” (chick, girl, toad)
etc.) to satisfy physiological needs. Os-
The new task was to identify, get to know and further
neck spiritual communication with decent girls, potentially
wanting to transform into a high, bright feeling, but with minimal
energy costs and costs. In this we wish everyone success.
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