╔════════════════─────────────── ───────────────════════════════╗ │ CONTINUOUS JOKS │ ╚════════════════─────────────── ───────────────════════════════╝ (C) RINDEX And here MASTER SOFT appeared. And immediately the text was prepared for me - cash Well, in general, read and joke. ---------------------------------------------------------------- (C) SPEED INFO (R) RINDEX She barely waited until he turned the love game into bed acceptance. I never promised a man what I wanted to give. I consider my figure to be normal, but at close range it I don't like it. But I took revenge on him: I hit him in the face from around the corner. And she has no time to do laundry - she has 3 lovers... The air at the resort is so rich in hormones! They undressed in concentration, each in his own corner, as if in a ring. Breasts perked up in the hands of the craftsman... ---------------------------------------------------------------- (C) MASTER SOFTWARE After these exams I was completely blown away! And now, my roof doesn't want to come back. When she returns, then I may write some kind of story, or maybe I won’t! Not I love the rush! What I mean is that I just wanted to relax and you- drinking beer is like... Well, okay, read the jokes written in sober I shake my head. * * * Two men came to get a job. Head of Department personnel, having carefully examined them, asksone: - Do you drink? - I'm drinking. - How much can you drink? - Well, when is it like... - You are not suitable for us. Addresses another: - Do you drink? - Yes, I drink. - How many? - Two liters of vodka. - We'll take you. “How can that be?” the first man began to be indignant. -I drink like everyone else they didn’t take me, but he can blow out two liters of vodka, and you’ll beat him rete... - So he knows his norm, but you don’t! * * * The moonshiners knock on the door. -Who's there? - asks the hostess. - Open up! Police! We know that you have moonshine, and we know where are you hiding it? - Wait, I'll hide it... * * * - How could you hit your friend on the head with a bottle?! - So it was empty! * * * During a round in a mental hospital, one doctor asks another: - Why is this new patient crying so much? - Sold my homeland. - And so worried? - Well, they didn’t pay. * * * At the reception: - Doctor, help, my wife has a strange habit - she loves bite your nails! - Well, that's not the worst thing yet! - Well, on your feet! - So what? - Well, on mine! * * * In a mental hospital. One patient tells his roommate: - I once fell out of a plane when it was flying at an altitude of 5 thousand meters! - Well, you’re pouring it, man! You wouldn't have survived! - Who told you that I survived? * * * In a psychiatric hospital, one patient asks another: - Who are you? - I am an artilleryman. - Why are youhere? - You saw the month? So, it was I who shot off a piece of the moon. - Yes? But yesterday there was a full moon. - Is that so? So it's overgrown. * * * Two men are talking: - And my wife is completely crazy! Almost like he's reaching for the pet- pear on the pear! - It’s definitely shifted! - Otherwise! After all, every time he picks dill instead of parsley! * * * Grandma calls Gorgaz: - Hello! Something smells like gas in my apartment... -Did you turn on the gas stove? - It's been on since morning. -Did you light a match? - No, I’ll light it now... * * * Radio announcement: - Pilot Larsen became the leader of the auto racing. The award ceremony will take place this today, funeral tomorrow. * * * In kindergarten, teachers are discussing the New Year's Eve scenario - Rennik. - Children need to be cheered up somehow so that everyone is happy. - Let the Snow Maiden spray from a gas can... - Then it’s better to call the riot police, let them wave the baton... - Let's immediately give the terrorists so that they have three hundred grams of TNT - the equivalent was blown up. Whoever survives will definitely be pleased! * * * Announcement: “The dog, nickname Mu-Mu, has disappeared, to the one who finds - please drown. Gerasim." * * * - Sister, ask the victim what his last name is, what can we do? inform your parents about it. - Doctor, he says that his parents themselves know perfectly well how his last name. * * * Mental hospital. In the cornerchambers in the pose of an ancient Greek actor, behind- back in the sheet, a middle-aged man stands. - Why did this one come to you? - asks a member of the commission. - I buried my talent. - For compulsory treatment for burying your talent?! - Well, together with the fans. * * * A guy with a pistol bursts into one of the bars in Paris and shouts: -Who is Paolo here?! “I,” replies one of the visitors, “and immediately falls, struck by the pu- lei. Lying on the floor, he smiles with all his might, his dead lips... would whisper: - I fooled him great... Not Paolo... * * * Two housewives are talking: - I don’t like cats! They have a smell, wool... - Well, you just don’t know how to cook them! * * * Two hares met. One had a broken paw. - On the hunt? - On the hunt. - Hunter? - Hunter. - Shot? - It has arrived... * * * Vovochka brought home a bad mark in physical education. The father is strictly right sews: - For what?! - Yes, the physical education teacher ordered the 'goat' to be cursed... Well, I overlaid. * * * Conversation at school. - Vova, did you write on the board that your teacher is an ass? - Yes. - It’s good, Vova, that you’re telling the truth! * * * Vovochka addresses her mother: - Mom, look, I’m as strong as our dad. I also hollowed out the pitchfork small... - You are not as strong, but just as stupid! ----------------------------------------------------------------
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