FAIRY TALE

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│ TALE │
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(C) RIGLES SPEARMINT


                DEAR HAPPY LISTEN!

TODAY WE OPEN A NEW RUBRIC - "THE ADVENTURES OF TYTUS"
TYTUS - AKA TITKO (emphasis on 'O'), TITNYATSKY, TITIA
TITKA (emphasis on 'I') AND SO ON...
THE TALE WRITTEN BY OUR NEW CORRESPONDENT, WHO
I HOPE THERE WILL BE A CONTINUATION. (HE SAID - WILL ADD)
(IN THE WORD 'TITKO' - EMPHASIS ON THE LETTERS 'O' - EDITOR)

  AND SO...


   * A TALE ABOUT HOW TITKO WENT TO INCREASE EDLAK *

THERE WAS A GUY IN THE WORLD, HIS NAME WAS TITKO. THE GUY HE WAS 
NOT BAD, JUST A STUPID CUTE. BUT ONE WAS BAD BAD 
IT WAS SMALL, NOT A PITCH, BUT SOME PITCH. NOT ONE WOMAN IN 
I DID NOT GO TO BED WITH HIM.
HE DIDN’T CURE, HE DIDN’T SMOKE, DIDN’T DRINK, DIDN’T JERK AWAY, BUT ONLY 
EATED SAUSAGES AND SLEEP, WHAT ELSE WILL YOU DO WITH SUCH A FUCK???
HE LIVED DIDN'T HURT, HE KICKED DICK, BUT HE WAS TIRED OF LIVING WITHOUT WOMEN AND JERKING OUT
AND HE WENT AROUND THE WORLD TO SEEK SOMEONE WHO WOULD HELP HIM EDLAK
ENLARGE.
     HE WALKED, HE WALKED THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS, THROUGH FORESTS, THROUGH FIELDS, THROUGH DICKS...
HE WALKS, AND A BEGGAR MEETS HIM. 

AND THE BEGGAR SAYS:

-HEAR, YOU FUCKING BITCH, GIVE THE BEGGAR VODKA AND SAUSAGE, AND 
THEN I AM COMPLETELY DYING OF HUNGER.

- FUCK YOU, YOU OLD ASSHOLE, BEFORE I FUCK YOU, RAS-
FUCKING FUCKING FLY...

- COME ON, YOU UGLY, I’LL DIE...

- YOU'RE FUCKING FUCKED, YOU'RE ALREADY FUCKED, DEFINITELY.

-II DIDN'T FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING MONKEY, FUCK YOU!!!

-WELL, OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU, YOU FUCKING STUFF, MONEY, JUST STAY AWAY...

HE GAVE HIM MONEY AND WENT ON.
GOES, GOES AND SEES AN ADVERTISEMENT HANGING ON A TREE, THE NEXT
CONTENTS:                     

       A WITCH WITH GREAT EXPERIENCE TREATS ALL DISEASES.
   ADDRESS:15000 METERS FORWARD,1305 LEFT,1600 BACKWARD,9000 RIGHT,
       AND 1000 FORWARD.1274 TREE NORTH OF OLD OAK.

ITKO WAS HAPPY, WROTE DOWN THE ADDRESS AND WENT TO THE WITCH. CAME TO THE DU-
BU, AND WHERE THE NORTH DOESN'T KNOW. WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO DO??? TITKO SAT, AND
HOW TO WELL WITH A NOT HUMAN HOWL.  SUDDENLY HE FUCKED SOMEONE WITH
THE ACORN TREE IS GOING TO BLOW!  TITS JUMPED UP, WANTS AN ACORN 
TAKE IT OUT, AND THE BIG ACORN IS STUCK IN THE FUCK!
SUDDENLY A PIG COMES DOWN FROM THE TREE AND TAKES OUT AN ACORN FROM HIM
MOUTH AND ASKS:

- FUCK YOU, OUT OF THE BACK FAGGAT, YOU'RE HOWING UNDER MY TREE???

-YES HERE, MOTHER, PIG MANDOVNA, I’M LOST, WHERE THE NORTH I DON’T KNOW.

-WHAT THE FUCK IS THE NORTH, YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCK???

-YES, I WENT TO THE WITCH, I CAME TO SEDYV, AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE NEXT.
 I GOT IT, CUNT-POPRIKEVNA, YOU'RE MY SPEECH IS FUCKING, HUH???

-WHAT KIND OF CUTE DO YOU NEED A WITCH, HUH???

-YES, YOU SEE, MY PUSSY IS SMALL, UNIQUE...

-WELL, THIS MATTER IS SO IMPORTANT, A GUY WITHOUT A FUCK IS NORMAL - WHAT
HAKHOL WITHOUT SHAPE!

-OVER THE NORTH, IF YOU ARE CURED, THEN COME AND TRY YOUR WORK ON ME
NEW WEAPON.

- THANK YOU, ASSHOLE, I WILL DEFINITELY GET CURED AND FUCK YOU, CUNTTIGHT, BYE!!!
....

TITS GOES AND SEES A SMALL HUT ON CHICKEN LEGS.
HE APPROACHED THE HUT AND KNOCKED ON THE DOOR:
-WHO IS THERE, FUCKED, HUH???

- HEY, OLD ONE!  DO YOU CURE ALL DISEASES???

THEN THE DOOR OPENS AND AN ANGRY GRANDMOTHER FLIES OUT OF THE HUT.

-HOW ARE YOU BORED OF ME WITH ALL, YOU DAMNED BITCHES, YOU ALL TERRIFIED ME,
FUCK YOU FOR YOUR TITTS, I AM NOT A WITCH, NOT ME!!  I AM BABA YAGA BONE
CUNT, FUCKING FURTHER, BONEY FAGOT!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!.....

I WAS SCARED BY TITS AND RUSHED TO FUCK UNTIL THE PUSSIES WERE INSERTED.
I RAN A HUNDRED METERS AND WALKED AWAY. VDUG SEES THE HUT, BUT WITHOUT LEGS.
WALKED UP AND KNOCKED ON THE DOOR.
THE DOOR OPENED BY AN OLD WOMAN:

-WHAT DO YOU NEED, YOU FUCKING YOUNG???

-ARE YOU A WITCH, AN OLD ASSHOLE???

-I, I... DO YOU NEED THE FUCK FROM ME, ACCORDING TO AN AD ???

-YES, SWEET, YES.

-WHAT IS IT THAT HURTS???

-NOTHING HURTS WITH ME, MY PUSSY IS SMALL, I WANT MORE.

-WELL, SHOW YOUR, HE-HE, PUSSY...............
YES, IT'S A SEVERE CASE, THIS DISEASE IS CALLED 'MALOCHER'.
COME IN, I WILL CARE.

- THANK YOU, SWEET!

-HERE’S A POTION FOR YOU, DRINK IT AND YOU WILL HAVE A FOOD WHAT
DO.

-OH, HOW CAN I THANK YOU???

-GET OUT QUICKLY, OR YOU’RE GONNA GET HORNY, AND FUCK YOU
I CAN'T, I'M HAVING CLIMAX.

-FAREWELL, SAVIOR!!!

AND TITKO WENT BACK TO HOME...
WALKED A LITTLE BIT AND SAT UNDER A TREE, DRINKED A POTION AND FELL ASLEEP.
      .....
I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY AND FELT SOMETHING IN MY PANTS
INTERFERRED. I TOOK MY PANTS OFF, AND THERE......FUCKING IMMENSE! 
EGGS LIKE GLOBES!!! TITKO WAS HAPPY, AND LET'S JERK OFF, 
I WAS SO PASSIONATE THAT I LOST EVERYTHING WITHIN A 50 METER RADIUS.
'UFFFFFFFF, AWESOME CUM!!!!!' - TITS EXCELLED AND WENT TO 
A PIG TOUCHING THE CALLS ON THE RIGHT HAND ON THE ROAD...
HE WENT TO THE PIG AND FUCKED HER SO MUCH THAT HE HAD TO TAKE A DOCTOR 
CALL. IT SEEMED TO HIM THAT IT WAS NOT ENOUGH AND HE WENT AND WENT TO FUCK EVERYONE
CONTRACT.  FUCKED EVERYONE IN THE AROUND, AND HAPPY RETURNED HOME...

                     END OF PART ONE.
                       TO BE CONTINUE...