музыка: __MR.SCREW_FROM_HARDWAVE_CREW!__
от: _CERTAIN_MR.SCREW_FROM_HARDWAVE_
(с)Евгений Борисов.
г. Старица.
Стриж.
Прихожу утром на раБоту. Только вworkshop
I entered, I heard something rustling right above my head.
howl. I looked there. There's a ventilation room
A pipe with shutters above the door itself. Sounds
from there.
"The rat is scratching or something." - I thought.
There were rats in our plant and in
we also ran around in the workshop, although I can’t imagine
what you can profit from in our workshop. All around
some pieces of iron: pieces of sheets, different calibers
new rods, blanks, unusable parts from
products. Is it the sawdust that I
I keep it in case my hydraulics break
machine There is no other way to clean up an oil puddle from the floor.
army.
I open my nightstand, prepare the machine
to work - he never stops scratching and
The pipe moves back and forth.
I can't listen anymore! We need to release
tit. I took a broom brush (Former, Without brush-
mud), climbed onto the nightstand (not his machine,
another), picked up the handle of the nearest barrier-
ki, pulled. But no move. Has dried up or
rusted in ten years (about as much
these dampers were not touched). "Well, rat, for-
poke your ears. I will knock." And I became a student
rub the mop on the handle. Knocked until
finished. I see that the work has results.
The shutter moved and the gap opened. How
There's a rat there, isn't it scared to death?
She got quiet there for some reason. Don't wait long
I had to. There was a rustling sound in the pipe, and
in the crack something gray began to show -
Xia. Gray, but not rat-like gray
something Strange color for a rat,se-
rosy-gray. Could it be a bird?.. Quite possible
possible. I tapped again and made the gap acceptable.
mine is for climbing a creature the size of a wing-
su. A head stuck out... Definitely not
rat. Something very round muzzle. And
Without a mustache...
Then the muzzle moved away, and in the crack there was
nikla design consisting clearly of macho-
feathers
So, after all, the bird was caught. Sparrow? No. Square pipe 30 by 30 san
timemeters. Sparrow can fly in one of these.
It will fly out as it flew in. Crow?.. Crow not
so stupid that you would be in a tight pipe
climb. Jackdaw?.. It may very well be. Jackdaws
They love to climb pipes. Climbed on the roof and
fell to the very bottom, to our center
ha. You can't flap your wings in a pipe, paws
don't get caught by the kami. Here he sits now
The poor thing is scratching.
Slavik came up, my colleague from the shop.
- What's there? - asks.
“Bird,” I answer.
- Jackdaw?
- Probably...
But then a head came out of the crack, then
the wing, and then the whole bird fell out. Fell out
spread her wings and flew away.
“No,” I say, “not a jackdaw.” Look,
the wings are long.
And the bird's wings were long. And on
She doesn't look like a jackdaw at all. But on the las-
the dot is similar, only larger.
- No swift. - I say.
“It seems,” Slavik answered.
Meanwhile, the swift is circling under the ceiling
living, looking for a way out. And there are only two exits -window and door. Only he doesn't think so. Go-
Yes, two years ago we had cracks in a piece in our workshop.
the Turks were covered up. And whitewash, as usual,
Forgot. So the dark lines remained on White
los. And it was in these stripes that the swift tried
CLIMB(!). He mistook them for cracks in the wall
no. With what result, you can guess. B
In the end, the swift flew onto the roof of the chambers
ki, where Slavik machines were stored, and there
quieted down.
I opened the window, crumpled the rag,
I placed it so that it wouldn’t be covered by the wind. door
the workshop is wide open and outside too, so that it would be
Where should the swift fly?
He turned on his machine. Working.
And the swift takes off from time to time,
circles around the workshop and onto the strips of Bros' solution -
Yes. “Well, fool,” I think. “Who am I for?
did you open the window? He should fly there, but he
hovering under the ceiling." In his place, anyone
a sparrow, and even more so a crow, having flown around
workshop to the window I would go. And even without OB-
summer, right away.
I'm working, and the swift is on the roof of the closet
sits, then flies under the ceiling. And on the window with
door - zero attention.
“How can I get you out?” I think.
However, everything was resolved unexpectedly
simple. Lunch has barely begun, which means it has died down
factory noise, I hear scratching again.
Only the sound is not booming like from a tin pipe
It would be, but ringing. And it comes from somewhere
zu.
I followed the sound and went to the corner where
We have steel bars. Sound from the floor.I look, and from behind the glands a wing is peeking out -
et. That's where he got to. Scratching. Wing-
got entangled in the pieces of iron.
I took the swift by these same wings, you
zero of iron. He calmed down. Paws under
stings, does not tear, does not flutter, does not squeak
even. He only looks at me. And then
closed his eyes.
We need to let him out quickly, otherwise he will die.
out of fright.
While walking along the corridor, I saw a little
go birdie. Round head, feathered beak
sticks out a little. Everything is like a swallow, only
bigger.
He went outside and threw the stig up.
He immediately spread his wings and flapped
once or twice and began to gain height moving away
from me...
That's all. Flew away.
The only thing left unclear is how to
did the lady manage to fly into the ventilation? For
what kind of fly drove him there?..
What difference does it make now? It doesn't matter
There's no one left to ask...
------------------------------------------
(c) Alexander Mikhailov.
r. Tver.
OBJECTIVE SOLDIERS.
Even when I was serving in the regiment, one day I
I was called to headquarters, where the captain was waiting for me
- executive secretary of the divisional ga-
Zetas. With him was a fat soldier with glasses -
photojournalist. After a while
I was hired to serve in a military printing house,
located in the same building as the editorial office.
So I was able to take a closer look at thea man who saw army life
the lens of your camera.
At the printing house, 22-year-old Oleg Lyutikov
appeared in the evening. I brought it to him from the cafeteria
mashed potato powder. First time
I really liked this dish, but...
Tom was disgusted. Lyutikov ate straight from the salt
Danish pot, while releasing copiously
farting and remembering my stormy youth
reach. He was expelled from the Leningrad university
university from the fourth year of the Faculty of Biology. U
Lyutikova already had a wife and a four-year-old
daughter. Witty Oleg to many colleagues
gave exact nicknames. Big swearer
he often sang the song: “Opa, opa, it’s grown together
n... and w... This cannot be, between-
the current must be."
This song shocked me, as did him.
candid stories: on agricultural work
had girls right in the field, without being embarrassed by the sight
tel.
- When my daughter grows up a little, I will
beat her.
I often wondered whether after the army he should
graduate from university and defend a dissertation
tion, or take up photography - the last
more profitable for her.
When Oleg was not on business trips, then
spent days and nights in his photographic laboratory
ryi, I never went to the barracks. managed
and in the army to earn money.
“I work like a bee,” he said.
Or:
- I work like Papa Carlo.
But Private Lyutikov did not work for the Good
Soviet Army. At night he typed left
photographs, and during the dayslept, locked in the dark
no photo lab, so our boss is re-
the doctor often asked:
- Maybe Oleg died there? - He was worried
not so much Oleg's fate as fear
responsibility.
It's getting cold. The soldier on duty at night
Dat must monitor the stove, which is loading
water roars in the heating system
raffia and editorial.
And here is my first duty with the stoves
about responsibilities. Late in the evening we stayed
together with Oleg. He was diluting chemicals.
- What will happen if this liquid
drink? - I joked.
- You will show up. In general it is better to drink water
ku. I laid a lot of money in civilian life. Od-
I drank so much that I came home very
early. The mother was delighted: “That’s how you are
I love you, this is how I praise you!” She's still
I didn’t realize that I was completely drunk.
I started working on the stove. He threw in the coal, and
Tom, having removed the ring from the stove, waited for a long time when
the fire will flare up. But the longer I looked,
the weaker the fire became and finally
completely gone out. New attempts to melt the furnace
ku did not bring success. Time passed, the water
the system began to cool down. Oleg has long been
slept. But suddenly appeared, twitching
shoulders from the cold. I came to find out what
matter.
Seeing the extinguished stove, he quickly went
into the yard to the Barrel with white spirit, which
We washed off the printed forms. Pumped up with a hose
A jar of this flammable substance and poured it intostove. Instantly a huge flame smoked
ceiling, but the stove began to heat up.
- At least I'll warm up a little. Otherwise I'm really thinking
small, traffic jams in the system or something else
similar. I was in one unit in the command
rovke. There, one officer annoyed everyone like that,
that the soldiers befriended him in revenge. When
They repaired the heating, instead of installing a pipe
crowbar The officer is freezing, but cannot understand,
what's the matter, everything seems to be in place. What about you?
Well, bad p.. child, never bake the stove
drowned?
“I’m not from there,” his words touched me.
- Where from? - he asked in surprise.
- From the navel.
- Are you serious?! - The married man was shocked
Biologist.
- Well, it turns out that men are born...
Are you attracted to Dina? I read in books that over-
they tie the umbilical cord. Well, I decided that you are a child
climbs, connected to the mother navel to navel-
ku. True, it was surprising how from a small
The baby manages to emerge from the navel.
The army enlightened me on the issue of birth
children and taught how to light the stove. I realized
that you need to throw everything you need into the firebox
and surrender to the will of providence. All by yourself
will flare up. And in the second my heating
on duty my stove got so hot,
that the fire burned a big hole in the aluminum
howl plate covering the top hole
these slabs.
In the fall, Oleg became a “grandfather.” However, he
put a lot of money on the army, and therefore spat
from a high mountain to titles - as if they were your own,
so onstrangers. Non-statutory hierarchy too
didn't stick to it.
After the order, some quit, others
have not yet arrived at the printing house, someone is away
start-up Five of us celebrated the New Year - me,
Lyutikov, Nekrasov, Dushin and KiBitkin. Oleg
I decided to make and cook dumplings. Pots
It wasn’t, so they adapted the Big Tea-
nickname In such a vessel in the army canteen
They gave out tea for ten people. There was a kettle
very old, rusty. It was used
whether for washing floors, and sometimes wet in it -
foxed The kettle was washed and pellets were cooked in it.
me.
There was drinking too. For the left photos
Oleg received two bottles of alcohol. We need them
It was hidden. The editor didn't care
whether we drink or not, here is Captain Saranchuk,
executive secretary of the editorial office, always
I checked before the holidays. B this time on-
The head of the political department himself was in charge. At the bottom
Colonel Gladky under ideological pressure
a whole division is roaming, and he is looking for alcohol from
five soldiers! Probably, what would you not say?
Lee: he doesn’t see anything under his nose. Under-
Colonel Gladky walked through the printing house.
A nightstand with the door facing the wall,
aroused his suspicion. Unfolded, opened
dug. Sauerkraut. The discovery also caused
Great expectations - there's a snack! He
began to look in all corners. In the store
(pantry) even climbed on his haunches, looked
breathing under the shelves. Found nothing. Yes and nocould find it. I told my colleagues where
hide the Bottles. Reals - set tables -
had an inclined surface. She seemed
solid with a base from which it extends
appeared at the box office, but in reality she
moved away, and under it you could hide
say what you want.
In the spring, Oleg quit his job. A new fo-
tographer Alyosha Moskalev. It's a year away from being edited
served in another unit in another
positions.
Thin, with a big nose Alyosha Was
the complete opposite of Oleg. Edins-
The only thing they had in common was that they both didn’t smoke,
which is very rare in the army. Moskalev
he said that he didn’t let anyone sit on his neck
"old people", but he himself dreamed of turning around,
when will he become a “grandfather”.
Loved to brag. And not only victory -
mi over the girls (bragged about how many times
can “throw a stick” overnight). Its very
worried about military ranks. Already when I became
army photographer, he often accompanied
division commander and saw representatives
generals. Alyosha excitedly admired:
- I stood next to Marshal Mosca himself -
Lenko!
Our general was short and
completely nondescript. He replaced the previous one
division commander who shot himself
after the number of deaths in the exercises
exceeded what was allowed by the instructions
cent.
Divisional commander Alyosha photographed not only
at work, but also at family celebrations.
He told me thatat home he was wearing a shirt with
lace frill. When Moskalev started
to let go of his mustache, the general advised him not to:
- How on earth...
Alyosha went on vacation twice. All
printing house soldiers and headquarters clerks traveled to
leave, although in units this is rather encouraged
tion, and few people were able to visit home
during the service. And Moskalev’s second vacation
deserved it. The division commander promised to let him go home
for ten days if he makes ten
pictures of those who pour garbage into
in the wrong place. If necessary, then
up to We helped Alyosha take the necessary photographs.
raffia Head of the printing house Vitalik Hekpa-
owls, wearing tights and a shirt, depicted
citizen with a bucket. Private Altaf Zaki-
ditch threw on a robe (we worked in them), on
I tied a scarf around my head. From under the scarf the view is
the woman's hair was gone. The chignon was dried on
neighbor's fence, and Vasya KiBitkin stole
him, without knowing why. Now prepare
wondered. Altaf, equipped, went out into the yard
typography. Before you take a photo,
Alyosha adjusted his clothes. Probably with
sides There was a piquant picture. In the yard
a tall woman is standing with a bucket. Close to
on the knees of a soldier whose hands are under her
robe. We came up with other dramatizations
garbage disposal in a military camp. Ten
photographs Were presented to the division commander, and Mos-
Kalev received a second vacation.
Returning from vacation hedescribed a friend
I love my love affairs, noticing that
"x... didn't have time to fall off", but got confused
envelopes. Mother and sister receiving this
message, we were very offended and did not write to him
a whole month.
At that time there was a very popular song
with the words: “Alexey, Alyoshenka, son-
nok..." Moskalev went into rage,
when they addressed him like that. The word "son"
in the army it is equivalent to the word “new guy”, so
we were surprised at the naivety of other parents,
which are on the radio in the "Field mail of Yunost"
wrote letters with the appeal “Son!..”
Moskalev's hands were golden. He knew how
take more than just photographs. Found on
in the attic the old Big Can, at what times-
they carry milk. The can was very dirty
almost from under the cement. It was washed and
they put Braga in it. Then colleagues
climbed into the attic to take communion. It's over
by the fact that Alyosha and Sokol were carried away and broke through
lo.
Alcohol in the army is sacred. We are on
never went to the drill, although even
the head of the political department had to march
Well, we saw it in the pictures. Moskalev
how the photographer was present at different me-
events and told how once at
the parade ground was destroyed by those found in the Bu- barracks
backs along with the contents. At the moment they
A soldier's groan was heard on the parade ground as they were beating.
Wanting to tease my colleagues, I
I once expressed a wish:
- If only instead of coalheat the stove with spir-
vol.
- What are you doing, it’s good to harass you! - indignantly
The soldiers rejected my proposal.
In addition to Braga, Alyosha brought into our lives
another innovation. We went to the toilet
located among private houses. Your
It wasn’t, so in winter the corner of the building was edited
tion Was covered with yellow ice.
Under the leadership of Alyosha, a
or a wooden latrine. What else, except
us, no one used it, Moskalev
made an internal lock, which, however,
It could have been opened with scissors.
One day, the editor’s wife, the director, came to see him.
torus of the store. Full-breasted lady in furs.
She wanted to go to the toilet. Alyosha went open
let her use the restroom. The woman stood nearby
waiting for the treasured door to open.
The soldiers, looking out the window, mocked:
- Shifts from foot to foot as a whole -
ka!
Alyosha and Altaf immediately disliked each other
friend and were constantly at knifepoint. Moskalev
Was my call, and Altaf was called to
six months later, but, still being a young Sol-
date, became the head of the printing house. Come-
Alyosha wanted to obey his “son”, who,
True, he was five years older than him. When
There was no hazing in Zakirova, what happened was
Initially for Moskalev.
Moskalev received the rank of sergeant -
satisfied his ambition. In a year
after my dismissal I visited only
that demobilized Altaf. Zakirovresigned as a sergeant major.
- I wish I could send my photo with the senior officer -
such shoulder straps that Moskalev would hang himself from
envy.
Share your thoughts about the article