музыка: __MR.SCREW_FROM_HARDWAVE_CREW!__ от: _CERTAIN_MR.SCREW_FROM_HARDWAVE_ (с)Евгений Борисов. г. Старица. Стриж. Прихожу утром на раБоту. Только вworkshop I entered, I heard something rustling right above my head. howl. I looked there. There's a ventilation room A pipe with shutters above the door itself. Sounds from there. "The rat is scratching or something." - I thought. There were rats in our plant and in we also ran around in the workshop, although I can’t imagine what you can profit from in our workshop. All around some pieces of iron: pieces of sheets, different calibers new rods, blanks, unusable parts from products. Is it the sawdust that I I keep it in case my hydraulics break machine There is no other way to clean up an oil puddle from the floor. army. I open my nightstand, prepare the machine to work - he never stops scratching and The pipe moves back and forth. I can't listen anymore! We need to release tit. I took a broom brush (Former, Without brush- mud), climbed onto the nightstand (not his machine, another), picked up the handle of the nearest barrier- ki, pulled. But no move. Has dried up or rusted in ten years (about as much these dampers were not touched). "Well, rat, for- poke your ears. I will knock." And I became a student rub the mop on the handle. Knocked until finished. I see that the work has results. The shutter moved and the gap opened. How There's a rat there, isn't it scared to death? She got quiet there for some reason. Don't wait long I had to. There was a rustling sound in the pipe, and in the crack something gray began to show - Xia. Gray, but not rat-like gray something Strange color for a rat,se- rosy-gray. Could it be a bird?.. Quite possible possible. I tapped again and made the gap acceptable. mine is for climbing a creature the size of a wing- su. A head stuck out... Definitely not rat. Something very round muzzle. And Without a mustache... Then the muzzle moved away, and in the crack there was nikla design consisting clearly of macho- feathers So, after all, the bird was caught. Sparrow? No. Square pipe 30 by 30 san timemeters. Sparrow can fly in one of these. It will fly out as it flew in. Crow?.. Crow not so stupid that you would be in a tight pipe climb. Jackdaw?.. It may very well be. Jackdaws They love to climb pipes. Climbed on the roof and fell to the very bottom, to our center ha. You can't flap your wings in a pipe, paws don't get caught by the kami. Here he sits now The poor thing is scratching. Slavik came up, my colleague from the shop. - What's there? - asks. “Bird,” I answer. - Jackdaw? - Probably... But then a head came out of the crack, then the wing, and then the whole bird fell out. Fell out spread her wings and flew away. “No,” I say, “not a jackdaw.” Look, the wings are long. And the bird's wings were long. And on She doesn't look like a jackdaw at all. But on the las- the dot is similar, only larger. - No swift. - I say. “It seems,” Slavik answered. Meanwhile, the swift is circling under the ceiling living, looking for a way out. And there are only two exits -window and door. Only he doesn't think so. Go- Yes, two years ago we had cracks in a piece in our workshop. the Turks were covered up. And whitewash, as usual, Forgot. So the dark lines remained on White los. And it was in these stripes that the swift tried CLIMB(!). He mistook them for cracks in the wall no. With what result, you can guess. B In the end, the swift flew onto the roof of the chambers ki, where Slavik machines were stored, and there quieted down. I opened the window, crumpled the rag, I placed it so that it wouldn’t be covered by the wind. door the workshop is wide open and outside too, so that it would be Where should the swift fly? He turned on his machine. Working. And the swift takes off from time to time, circles around the workshop and onto the strips of Bros' solution - Yes. “Well, fool,” I think. “Who am I for? did you open the window? He should fly there, but he hovering under the ceiling." In his place, anyone a sparrow, and even more so a crow, having flown around workshop to the window I would go. And even without OB- summer, right away. I'm working, and the swift is on the roof of the closet sits, then flies under the ceiling. And on the window with door - zero attention. “How can I get you out?” I think. However, everything was resolved unexpectedly simple. Lunch has barely begun, which means it has died down factory noise, I hear scratching again. Only the sound is not booming like from a tin pipe It would be, but ringing. And it comes from somewhere zu. I followed the sound and went to the corner where We have steel bars. Sound from the floor.I look, and from behind the glands a wing is peeking out - et. That's where he got to. Scratching. Wing- got entangled in the pieces of iron. I took the swift by these same wings, you zero of iron. He calmed down. Paws under stings, does not tear, does not flutter, does not squeak even. He only looks at me. And then closed his eyes. We need to let him out quickly, otherwise he will die. out of fright. While walking along the corridor, I saw a little go birdie. Round head, feathered beak sticks out a little. Everything is like a swallow, only bigger. He went outside and threw the stig up. He immediately spread his wings and flapped once or twice and began to gain height moving away from me... That's all. Flew away. The only thing left unclear is how to did the lady manage to fly into the ventilation? For what kind of fly drove him there?.. What difference does it make now? It doesn't matter There's no one left to ask... ------------------------------------------ (c) Alexander Mikhailov. r. Tver. OBJECTIVE SOLDIERS. Even when I was serving in the regiment, one day I I was called to headquarters, where the captain was waiting for me - executive secretary of the divisional ga- Zetas. With him was a fat soldier with glasses - photojournalist. After a while I was hired to serve in a military printing house, located in the same building as the editorial office. So I was able to take a closer look at thea man who saw army life the lens of your camera. At the printing house, 22-year-old Oleg Lyutikov appeared in the evening. I brought it to him from the cafeteria mashed potato powder. First time I really liked this dish, but... Tom was disgusted. Lyutikov ate straight from the salt Danish pot, while releasing copiously farting and remembering my stormy youth reach. He was expelled from the Leningrad university university from the fourth year of the Faculty of Biology. U Lyutikova already had a wife and a four-year-old daughter. Witty Oleg to many colleagues gave exact nicknames. Big swearer he often sang the song: “Opa, opa, it’s grown together n... and w... This cannot be, between- the current must be." This song shocked me, as did him. candid stories: on agricultural work had girls right in the field, without being embarrassed by the sight tel. - When my daughter grows up a little, I will beat her. I often wondered whether after the army he should graduate from university and defend a dissertation tion, or take up photography - the last more profitable for her. When Oleg was not on business trips, then spent days and nights in his photographic laboratory ryi, I never went to the barracks. managed and in the army to earn money. “I work like a bee,” he said. Or: - I work like Papa Carlo. But Private Lyutikov did not work for the Good Soviet Army. At night he typed left photographs, and during the dayslept, locked in the dark no photo lab, so our boss is re- the doctor often asked: - Maybe Oleg died there? - He was worried not so much Oleg's fate as fear responsibility. It's getting cold. The soldier on duty at night Dat must monitor the stove, which is loading water roars in the heating system raffia and editorial. And here is my first duty with the stoves about responsibilities. Late in the evening we stayed together with Oleg. He was diluting chemicals. - What will happen if this liquid drink? - I joked. - You will show up. In general it is better to drink water ku. I laid a lot of money in civilian life. Od- I drank so much that I came home very early. The mother was delighted: “That’s how you are I love you, this is how I praise you!” She's still I didn’t realize that I was completely drunk. I started working on the stove. He threw in the coal, and Tom, having removed the ring from the stove, waited for a long time when the fire will flare up. But the longer I looked, the weaker the fire became and finally completely gone out. New attempts to melt the furnace ku did not bring success. Time passed, the water the system began to cool down. Oleg has long been slept. But suddenly appeared, twitching shoulders from the cold. I came to find out what matter. Seeing the extinguished stove, he quickly went into the yard to the Barrel with white spirit, which We washed off the printed forms. Pumped up with a hose A jar of this flammable substance and poured it intostove. Instantly a huge flame smoked ceiling, but the stove began to heat up. - At least I'll warm up a little. Otherwise I'm really thinking small, traffic jams in the system or something else similar. I was in one unit in the command rovke. There, one officer annoyed everyone like that, that the soldiers befriended him in revenge. When They repaired the heating, instead of installing a pipe crowbar The officer is freezing, but cannot understand, what's the matter, everything seems to be in place. What about you? Well, bad p.. child, never bake the stove drowned? “I’m not from there,” his words touched me. - Where from? - he asked in surprise. - From the navel. - Are you serious?! - The married man was shocked Biologist. - Well, it turns out that men are born... Are you attracted to Dina? I read in books that over- they tie the umbilical cord. Well, I decided that you are a child climbs, connected to the mother navel to navel- ku. True, it was surprising how from a small The baby manages to emerge from the navel. The army enlightened me on the issue of birth children and taught how to light the stove. I realized that you need to throw everything you need into the firebox and surrender to the will of providence. All by yourself will flare up. And in the second my heating on duty my stove got so hot, that the fire burned a big hole in the aluminum howl plate covering the top hole these slabs. In the fall, Oleg became a “grandfather.” However, he put a lot of money on the army, and therefore spat from a high mountain to titles - as if they were your own, so onstrangers. Non-statutory hierarchy too didn't stick to it. After the order, some quit, others have not yet arrived at the printing house, someone is away start-up Five of us celebrated the New Year - me, Lyutikov, Nekrasov, Dushin and KiBitkin. Oleg I decided to make and cook dumplings. Pots It wasn’t, so they adapted the Big Tea- nickname In such a vessel in the army canteen They gave out tea for ten people. There was a kettle very old, rusty. It was used whether for washing floors, and sometimes wet in it - foxed The kettle was washed and pellets were cooked in it. me. There was drinking too. For the left photos Oleg received two bottles of alcohol. We need them It was hidden. The editor didn't care whether we drink or not, here is Captain Saranchuk, executive secretary of the editorial office, always I checked before the holidays. B this time on- The head of the political department himself was in charge. At the bottom Colonel Gladky under ideological pressure a whole division is roaming, and he is looking for alcohol from five soldiers! Probably, what would you not say? Lee: he doesn’t see anything under his nose. Under- Colonel Gladky walked through the printing house. A nightstand with the door facing the wall, aroused his suspicion. Unfolded, opened dug. Sauerkraut. The discovery also caused Great expectations - there's a snack! He began to look in all corners. In the store (pantry) even climbed on his haunches, looked breathing under the shelves. Found nothing. Yes and nocould find it. I told my colleagues where hide the Bottles. Reals - set tables - had an inclined surface. She seemed solid with a base from which it extends appeared at the box office, but in reality she moved away, and under it you could hide say what you want. In the spring, Oleg quit his job. A new fo- tographer Alyosha Moskalev. It's a year away from being edited served in another unit in another positions. Thin, with a big nose Alyosha Was the complete opposite of Oleg. Edins- The only thing they had in common was that they both didn’t smoke, which is very rare in the army. Moskalev he said that he didn’t let anyone sit on his neck "old people", but he himself dreamed of turning around, when will he become a “grandfather”. Loved to brag. And not only victory - mi over the girls (bragged about how many times can “throw a stick” overnight). Its very worried about military ranks. Already when I became army photographer, he often accompanied division commander and saw representatives generals. Alyosha excitedly admired: - I stood next to Marshal Mosca himself - Lenko! Our general was short and completely nondescript. He replaced the previous one division commander who shot himself after the number of deaths in the exercises exceeded what was allowed by the instructions cent. Divisional commander Alyosha photographed not only at work, but also at family celebrations. He told me thatat home he was wearing a shirt with lace frill. When Moskalev started to let go of his mustache, the general advised him not to: - How on earth... Alyosha went on vacation twice. All printing house soldiers and headquarters clerks traveled to leave, although in units this is rather encouraged tion, and few people were able to visit home during the service. And Moskalev’s second vacation deserved it. The division commander promised to let him go home for ten days if he makes ten pictures of those who pour garbage into in the wrong place. If necessary, then up to We helped Alyosha take the necessary photographs. raffia Head of the printing house Vitalik Hekpa- owls, wearing tights and a shirt, depicted citizen with a bucket. Private Altaf Zaki- ditch threw on a robe (we worked in them), on I tied a scarf around my head. From under the scarf the view is the woman's hair was gone. The chignon was dried on neighbor's fence, and Vasya KiBitkin stole him, without knowing why. Now prepare wondered. Altaf, equipped, went out into the yard typography. Before you take a photo, Alyosha adjusted his clothes. Probably with sides There was a piquant picture. In the yard a tall woman is standing with a bucket. Close to on the knees of a soldier whose hands are under her robe. We came up with other dramatizations garbage disposal in a military camp. Ten photographs Were presented to the division commander, and Mos- Kalev received a second vacation. Returning from vacation hedescribed a friend I love my love affairs, noticing that "x... didn't have time to fall off", but got confused envelopes. Mother and sister receiving this message, we were very offended and did not write to him a whole month. At that time there was a very popular song with the words: “Alexey, Alyoshenka, son- nok..." Moskalev went into rage, when they addressed him like that. The word "son" in the army it is equivalent to the word “new guy”, so we were surprised at the naivety of other parents, which are on the radio in the "Field mail of Yunost" wrote letters with the appeal “Son!..” Moskalev's hands were golden. He knew how take more than just photographs. Found on in the attic the old Big Can, at what times- they carry milk. The can was very dirty almost from under the cement. It was washed and they put Braga in it. Then colleagues climbed into the attic to take communion. It's over by the fact that Alyosha and Sokol were carried away and broke through lo. Alcohol in the army is sacred. We are on never went to the drill, although even the head of the political department had to march Well, we saw it in the pictures. Moskalev how the photographer was present at different me- events and told how once at the parade ground was destroyed by those found in the Bu- barracks backs along with the contents. At the moment they A soldier's groan was heard on the parade ground as they were beating. Wanting to tease my colleagues, I I once expressed a wish: - If only instead of coalheat the stove with spir- vol. - What are you doing, it’s good to harass you! - indignantly The soldiers rejected my proposal. In addition to Braga, Alyosha brought into our lives another innovation. We went to the toilet located among private houses. Your It wasn’t, so in winter the corner of the building was edited tion Was covered with yellow ice. Under the leadership of Alyosha, a or a wooden latrine. What else, except us, no one used it, Moskalev made an internal lock, which, however, It could have been opened with scissors. One day, the editor’s wife, the director, came to see him. torus of the store. Full-breasted lady in furs. She wanted to go to the toilet. Alyosha went open let her use the restroom. The woman stood nearby waiting for the treasured door to open. The soldiers, looking out the window, mocked: - Shifts from foot to foot as a whole - ka! Alyosha and Altaf immediately disliked each other friend and were constantly at knifepoint. Moskalev Was my call, and Altaf was called to six months later, but, still being a young Sol- date, became the head of the printing house. Come- Alyosha wanted to obey his “son”, who, True, he was five years older than him. When There was no hazing in Zakirova, what happened was Initially for Moskalev. Moskalev received the rank of sergeant - satisfied his ambition. In a year after my dismissal I visited only that demobilized Altaf. Zakirovresigned as a sergeant major. - I wish I could send my photo with the senior officer - such shoulder straps that Moskalev would hang himself from envy.
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