HUMOR.
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Hello! We are glad to welcome you to our SHIT, here we are
We present to you the 'Humor' section, where you will see different stories,
jokes, by the way, expect an exclusive in the next issue: a story about
Howard Stern, but for now, here are the jokes that EDAS gave:
***
Hungry students are sitting, dreaming.
- Listen, let's get a pig! - says one.
- What are you talking about!!! Stink, dirt!
- It’s okay, she’ll get used to it...
***music answering machine:
A certain Kirill Glushchenko says hello:
to all employees of the Kyiv military registration and enlistment offices and
orders the song Fuck You
Twenty minutes later there is a response from the slave. military registration and enlistment offices
Status Quo
You are in the army now
***
A pig runs into the room, looks at the socket and shouts:
That the patch was walled up***
- Dear, our little son has his first tooth!
- Hurray, dear!
- Dear, our little son has taken his first step in life!
- This is so lovely, my dear!
- But after he took the first step in life,
he lost his first tooth
- Oh, what grief!!!
- But he said his first word...
***
Two hippopotamuses are sitting on a tree, telling jokes.
A flock of files flies past.The leader of the pack asks the hippos:
- Hippos, where to north?
One hippopotamus points north. The flock flies away.
Hippos continue to poison
jokes. Another file flies up.
- Hippos, where did the flock fly?
The second hippopotamus points south. The file flies away.
The first hippo is at the second
asks:
- Why did you show him the other way?
- Didn’t you see that he’s penless and pugnacious?
***
The child runs up to his mother and asks:
- Mom, did the sobering-up station burn down?
- Where did you get it, son? Of course not.
- Awhy does our father go and sing:
Enemies burned your home?
***
Advertisement in the newspaper:
Everyone who cannot cope with such bad habits,
like:
- nail biting;
- biting burrs;
- twirling hair on finger
Hairdressing salon N5 invites you for a permanent job.
***I’m sitting, waiting for guests. The doorbell rings.
I open it. They ask:
- Are you for the Popular Front or for the Interfront?
- For the Popular Front.
Well, they took off my pants and kicked my ass.
I’m sitting, waiting for guests. The doorbell rings.
I open it.
-Are you for the Popular Front or the Interfront?
- For Interfront.
Well, they took off my pants and kicked my ass.
I’m sitting, waiting for guests. They're calling.
I'm tired of this. I take off my pants and open the door.
And there are guests.
***
appearsSo. A rape trial is underway.
Defendant -
a boy about 5 years old stands naked on a stool.
Mother to the judge:
- How can a boy (holding his son by the pipi) rape him with this?
To which the son responds in a rough voice:
- Mom!... Don’t bother... Otherwise we’ll lose the process!
***
- Can you imagine, I come home, and there is my wife and her lover,
and they both have such sly, sly eyes.
Well, I don’t undress, I go straight to the refrigerator. I open -
and sure enough, they drank my beer.
***Trotsky:
- Comrades! The revolution is canceled
F. E. Dzerzhinsky went fishing.
- So why can’t we cope without him?
_ We can cope without him,
but without Aurora it won’t work.
***
A man sits and fishes.
Suddenly a submarine appears. The captain sticks out from there:
- Where are we, mister?
-Fuck you
Captain on the boat:
- Gentlemen, wein Russia!
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THE END
:-) - Humor.
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