test - are you a hooligan?

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(c) Daniil Shepovalov

 Test: "Are you a bully?"

What do the boys in the yard call you? 
1. Goga. 
2. Snot. 
3. Sour. 
4. Ghoul. 
5. By first name and patronymic. 

Your reference book: 
1. Jose Raul Capablanca "Textbook of Chess". 
2. Jean Preval "Anarchy and Nihilism." 
3. Alexander Danilin “Psychedelics and their consequences.” 
4. Makhmud Usurbaev “Doing it right: TNT.” 
5. Vladimir Ilyich Lenin “Materialism and empirio-criticism.” 

Who did you dress up for the Christmas tree in third grade? 
1. Bunny. 
2. Squirrel (dead). 
3. A giant mutant rat with glowing eyes and dripping
with caustic, green saliva from the fangs. 
4. A huge darned condom, stained with shit. And on
There was a door sign hanging on my chest with the inscription “director”. 
5. We didn’t have a Christmas tree in third grade - I blew it up
homemade charge in the toilet, and a stinking stream from the sewer
the assembly hall was flooded. 

What act do you consider the most hooligan in your life? 
1. One day I pretended to be sick and didn't go to school. I still
I’m ashamed now that I deceived my mother so shamelessly. 
2. Once in kindergarten I peed in the teacher’s compote.
And one day at school they sent me to get water for tea...
3. One day at school I put some hallucinogens in my soup.
our warrior conducting basic military training. That one later
I ran around the yard for about five hours, covered in grenades,
gas mask and with a machine gun, while shooting some of his own
invisible glucosaurs. 
4. There was a time when I worked as a nurse and every night
left a surprise for the morning shift: he injected some
for a decrepit old man, it is both a laxative, a diuretic and
sleeping pills 
5. It's not me! This is all Mishka Cockroaches! 

Your dream: 
1. Build a house, plant a tree and raise a grandson. Mommy
says that every man should strive for this. 
2. Sleep with all your former classmates and
classmates. 
3. Write a book: “Ritual Murders: A Guide for
entering universities." 
4. Plant a grandson and line everyone up. Ha ha ha!!! 
5. Get a job on the “Good night, kids” program,
show children the porn cartoon "The Little Humpbacked Horse", and then make
yourself live hara-kiri. 

Your favoritespoems: 
1. Well, where are you girls? 
Girls! Girls! 

2. Children are being chased by cops, 
The cops are herded by the lads. 
Drugs and oil 
Everything else is tops! 

3. If you attach it to the ass 
Coprocessor from "Kray" 
You can shit in two toilets 
Forty thousand times faster! 

4. Having devoured a box of vodka 
And eating watermelons 
Children were gathering 
F...th Teletubbies 

5. On a rope looking into the distance 
Komsomol Secretary. 

What music do you listen to? 
1. Andryusha Gubina and Tatu (only if mom can’t hear). 
2. Gaza Strip and Marilyn Manson. 
3. Let there always be techno! 
4. Experimental Sound Gallery - my home! 
5. Aphex Twin once played industrial noise on twenty-thousandth
rave in New York. Fifteen minutes later I was on the dance floor
only one person - me. 

What is your dog's name? 
1.  I don't have a dog, but recently my mother gave me a hamster and
goldfish. They are so nice! 
2. I named my cute pooch Poofy. 
3. My dog's name is Old Lady Eater. 
4. Antichrist is the real name for genetically
modified fighting bull terrier. 

In your opinion, the most exciting sight in the world is: 
1. Sunset over a forest lake. 
2. Alligators copulating in a centrifuge. 
3. Nursein the military registration and enlistment office, which looks with crazy eyes at
your erect penis, covered with light green daylight paint
and tied with a satin ribbon and bow. 
4. Thermonuclear explosion on the Cote d'Azur on Children's Day. 

How often and what exactly do you drink? 
1.  I drink it many times every day. My mom cooks a lot
delicious fruit drink. 
2. Damn, yesterday the boys and I got really drunk again! 
3. Aviation alcohol can not only stop development, but also
turn it back!!! 
4. Uh-uh, is there anything? 

So, your rating: 
1-20 points - MURZILYCH: You are a very sweet boy: you obey your mother,
you water the flowers on time and sometimes secretly masturbate under
blanket for the Tattoo group.  My advice to you is to throw away this magazine
before it's too late, otherwise the local authors and editors will morally
They will corrupt and abuse your fragile psyche. I'm all for it
I’ll see to it, don’t doubt it! 

20-35 points - SPANA: "Atas, boys, the district policeman is coming!" - this is about
you.  Your whole party is petty hooligans. Feed the teachers
acid, throw firecrackers into the toilet and take away the earbuds from the boys
- this is of course cool, no one argues, but it’s time to rise
higher than the level of kindergarten matinees. It's time, brother, it's time! Exactly
This is why our magazine is published. 

35-47 points - HOLIGAN: Dude, ours for youRespect! You are real
Hooligan, with a capital H!  It is for people like you that we
We go here to feed the editorial office.  Just for gatherings
you don't go to Satanists anymore - our magazine is successful for you
will replace.  Just like school, society and big brother. If anything
- blame everything on us, we are accustomed to the blows of the tarpaulin boots of the riot police.