■······························· · ■······························· · (c) Daniil Shepovalov The truth about FIDO Good afternoon, dear friends. Our today's pedarach...ugh, The program is dedicated to the famous computer network FIDO. All of you You've probably already heard amazing stories about this cute network friends, in which everyone can freely express their opinion, pour out your soul (unprecedented skill in this area reached the subscribers of the conference TYT.BCE.HACPEM) and simply communicate with interesting people. At least that's how they draw it us FIDO cheerful sharks of the pen, in the intervals between writing articles under headlines like “Russian hackers are drowning nuclear-powered aircraft carrier Missouri. I'll try not to embellish it the harsh truth of life and show you FIDO as he is is in fact, so I don’t recommend reading this article people with weak mental health, pregnant children...ugh women and children until 16. First, a little history: the founder of the FIDO network is fag... I mean gay and anarchist Tom Jennings. I think so attentivereaders have already made simple conclusions about the "network friends" and "communication with interesting people" in particular. Some comrades, however, will now begin to protest, muttering something about human rights and the aesthetic beauty of the chorus of the song "Blue moon." I completely agree with them, but the fact is that the current fidoshniks have long outdone the founding father in terms of all sorts of... deviations from the usual way of life. For example, the most famous member of this network, whom he wants to be like Almost every second fidoshnik is Oleg Bocharov: necrophile, fascist, cretin and former host of the Twilight radio show humanity." For your information, after this program aired the most persistent listeners demanded that he be shot, and the rest voluntarily went to negotiate a permanent place residence in a mental hospital. So if you you see a person whose personal life follows the principle “My best friend is a dead old lady,” and who, while washing himself in the shower, cheerfully hums “Tear the child into swastikas!” or whistles "Deutschlen Soldaten", then most likely this is one of the constant readers of the BOCHAROFF.SUX conference. As my friend, in our beautiful country there is something for everyone institute: for doctors - honey, for fagots - ped, and in FIDO Anyone can choose a social circle based on their interests:from MAMA.ANARHIYA to RU.SEX.SADO-MAZO and RU.ONANIZM. Lest you decide that FIDO is a bunch of perverts with experience, I will give descriptions of several quite normal thematic conferences: RU.ANEKDOT: Actually, this conference was originally intended for the publication of jokes, but has long been used for completely different purposes. More than half of the letters - these are messages from the moderator about the disconnection of such and such nodes for violation of the rules. From time to time, however, someone tells and jokes, but mostly these are variations on the theme “Two men are walking: one is a moderator, and the other is also an asshole!” or the crowning "Torn down" chicken for grandpa's egg, clean." For the story of the latter, to the man, By the way, he faces lifelong blackout, public castration through hanging and gang rape with elements of necrophilia. About once every three months, especially gifted comrades tell jokes in the spirit of "A girl crawls through a concentration camp", after which it begins lively discussion on the topic “Why does the earth still bear such [beep], and that [beep] all of you in [beep] are not yet [beep] on [beep]", which does not stop until the next joke about chicken RU.HACKER: Here they deal exclusively with posting Trojans and viruses. Almost every day someone sends an email with the text like "Run the attached file and use the Internet on freebie"and after two weeks an avalanche of responses appears: “Well, I launched it, and then for some reason the screw was formatted, maybe I did something did you do it wrong? Please send that program again!" Lives in this conference there are exclusively elitist people. If your name is Vasya Lozhkin, and not DArk MegAHa(Ker oF UblO, then you don’t even have to meddle here - they will simply laugh. So be sure to come up with Give yourself a cool nickname, find more stylish words in the dictionary and feel free to write at the beginning of the letter “Hello, dear All, greets you Mad ScOlTrAg from // SIEGE // PISYA TEAM // BOLAN // MLGie // DEVasT //". Also, one should not ignore signature - real fidish hackers always put it at the end letters kilobytes or more of useful information like “[Get up early - sux]-[I hate Lena Zosimava]-[School - mustdie]-[Balteka N9]" RU.PICKUP: Cool people like to hang out at this conference intellectuals discussing methods of picking up girls. Replying to the question “How do you still get to know a girl?” me first they said all sorts of clever words like "neuro-linguistic programming" and "breaking the pattern", and then recommended come up and brazenly say, “Let’s go, let’s have sex!” I must say after conducting such an experiment, I then somewhat I had difficulty moving for weeks, because the experimental girl, like It turned out that she was waiting for her boxer father. Themno less, for several years of my stay in FIDO I I finally came to the conclusion that this is not a network, but a disguised sect of alcoholic perverts. It all starts with the moment when a person agrees to the persuasion of his friend-fidoshnik and says the cherished “come on, let’s read this your fido-mail." After a few days, turn the destructive process becomes impossible: the person stops wash, shave, eat, sleep and talk, instead he begins to drink, write, read and periodically swear incomprehensible words like "frekni s origina fak o binklystyle outbound." In the evening and at night his phone is constantly busy, and his family the fidoshnik clearly explains that he needs to connect with barefoot to pick up the packages, because there are ten meters in shelters, and ZMH will come in two hours and he doesn't care that it's New One year and I need to call Aunt Tonya from Odessa. Having inquired only “Will everyone experience full ZMH or only some?” loved ones leave a person alone with this terrible drug under the name FIDO, thereby destroying his entire future life. Rather In all, you have already heard that FIDO is completely a non-profit network in which everything is based on sheer enthusiasm its members. Spit in the eyes of the person who told you this nonsense. B FIDO runs on beer!Fidoshniks with experience in practice prove the peasant truth of the saying “Smart people They’ll pee and pee and drink a bottle.” About once a month an event called "pointing" is organized, at which the so-called “discussion of the future policy of the node” is taking place. And I must tell you, sometimes this discussion is so intense, that many participants subsequently have to use sobering up services. Do not under any circumstances allow yourself to be drawn into this terrible computer sect. I hope my article will allow you to get correct idea about the most terrible inhabitants of the computer underground and avoid the harmful influence of FIDonet. Already now My fidosh friends are knocking on my door... (further text cannot be read due to huge stains from spilled beer and bold inscriptions in green marker "FIDO - rulezzz!!!") ■······························· · like this, without fucking, we make a fucking body newspaper. clean simple boys from Minsk...
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