Maximum #31 25 февраля 1997

Reprinted with cont. - Papuans from Honduras (continued).

           Reprinted with CONTINUATION.


 (R) Pavel Fedin


              V. Shinkarev

              Papuan from Honduras.
             (Continued)



             CHAPTER II.


   Head of horror about how the Masons nearly killed fireman.

          "Miracles happen in our time, just filthy,"
                          A. and B. strugatskiye



   It is difficult, of course, watching TV, such unequal 
pieces, but in general everything is clear. Especially because 
when Valera came to work, he asked about the missing pieces of 
the content of a television movie with his friend Ivan, a 
stoker. 


   Ivan guy is literate, and how many firemen - well read, but
is also not promoted to the fifth level, because he's so peeved 
at the fate that his all, which can be overwritten and tramping 
in govnische. 


   Ivan profound contempt for TV movie, but watched with anger, 
nothing not missing. Telefilm "created" as with unspeakable 
hatred says in explanation of "the Heir of Calcutta." 


   (This is suspect many viewers, however briefly describe
on the famous novel Shtilmark and Vasilevsky "Heir of 
Calcutta." The book is written in heavy, sticky tongue, and 
tells the story of continuing pursuit of the heroic era of 
heroes of capitalism each other - through Europe, Asia, Africa, 
America, for different Oceans, etc. (especially chic is that 
one of few places where the characters do not appear - it is 
Calcutta). Purpose This is very tedious chase slurred, 
incomprehensible and why heroes shakes it to one, then at the 
other end of the globe. Description of the chase is interrupted 
by non-story excursions into the distant past. The leitmotif of 
the book is to describe some of the island, to which all the 
characters in unexplained reason, regularly visited by and hang 
out there until it's time to indulge in chase. As I recall, by 
the end of the book all the characters, even different 
nationalities are to each other cousins, brothers or children 
and outright destroy one another, border guards, pirates, 
bandits, mayors, customs officials, with the slave trade 
Blacks, Indians, inhabitants of the uninhabited islands, and 
regular troops. The book is nicely decorated, estimated at 
market 60 - 70 rubles, and is, apparently, for the 
feeble-minded. Admirers of the book say that it teaches them 
the courage and resourcefulness, and a book Maklakov told me 
that she teaches him to love life! In short, the book is one of 
the best in this sort, but it bears little resemblance to 
well-reasoned and penetrated the cause-effect relationships 
"Papuans from Honduras." ) 


   But Ivan the intellectual, wrote avant-garde poetry, and so 
fiercely hates and knocks in one pile and "Heir of Calcutta, and

"Papuans from Honduras, which, in his definition,
"Masonic tricks." By Ivan Masonry particularly intolerant and
considers this terrible phenomenon hypothetical source of all 
public and their own personal hardships. Valera Marousi he, in 
general, Mason did not count and therefore was condescending to 
him, permitted the whole day to bask in his boiler room.



   I am about this because so much detail Ivan say: the point is
Valera told him that simple recipe for mash out
tomato paste, and Sunday, when the frost is just weak, Ivan
Valery went to see it a try, for Braga obtained.


   Valéry quite ripe five-liter bank, they sat down and 
immediately began to try. Ivan while uncomfortable,

painfully wretched situation was, he did not expect.


   Valera, on the contrary, I was pleasantly excited and 
animated, because that must be the same fellow which - such 
Braga did well. 


   - Well, Ivan, good brew?


   - Oh, nothing, just terrible what: red.


   - So what that red?


   - And here is a red precipitate.


   - Well, you do not want, so you can through the cheesecloth 
filter. And I'm straight from the precipitate drinking. And 
picks up but cool somehow special. 


   - I have something to feel.


   - Wait, soon you will feel. I do it a little more 
strengthened. 


   - Well, nobody's fool are you, Valerie? I am to him a 
special meal Braga try, as he poured the vodka there! Vodka is 
better to separate drinking! 


   - No, Ivan, is so much better, and you do so. I have wine, 
bragu more love. Vodka drink and bang, everything. And here you 
sit, you drink. 


   - What are you saying - you have no electricity?


   - So today, warmer, more electricity is not disconnected.
Sorry, today is just "Papuans from Honduras did not show -
Sunday.


   - Come on in his ass, I watch it at all anymore I will not.
This shit telefilm! I only liked one moment.


   - It's about that?


   - About the Musketeers watched the series? Well, the history 
of this diamond stupid? 


   - No, Ivan, I had not seen. On a visit I went. You tell me. 
I was just about the High Renaissance had seen, and the next is 
not watching. That there?



   - Well, right, had not seen - this vomiting, even cry.
Well, about D'Artagnan and Blaise Pascal. Did you ever heard of 
Pascal? 


   - I heard something.


   - Oh, Valerie, you're a thinking reed. Well there is 
shorter, D'Artagnan for his career Pascal bride away, then his 
sword and stabbed funny song he sang. "Oh, bother," What a 
knight with no luck! " But one good time, do not say anything. 
There, a cardinal asks this guy:


      - He is one?


   That to him: No, Your Eminence.

      - Two?

      - No, Your Eminence.

      - Three?

      - No, Your Eminence.

      - Four?

      - No, Your Eminence.

      - Five?

      - No, Your Eminence.

      - Six?

      - No, Your Eminence.

      - How much?

      - Seven, Your Eminence.


   (I can explain why Ivan liked the dialogue: he
strongly reminiscent of their own avant-garde poetry of Ivan.


   Here are a couple of sample:

            Everything will pass

            "Oh, how little is left! .."
            Nine.
            Eight.
            Seven.
            Six.
            Five.
            Four.
            Three.
            Two.
            Ruble.

        Revival at the cost of

            Voodin.
            Vodva.
            Vautrin.
            Vochetyre.
            Yelling.
            Voshest.
            Eight.
            Nine.
            Ten.


   These are the verses says Ivan, just something I'm afraid: 
if something call Masonic phenomenon, not as a poem in the 
first place? ) 


   - Do you want the TV is on? - Suggested Valera.


   - Come on in his ass!


   - And you feel, takes brew?


   - Just think, - said Ivan, suddenly lost in thought - we are 
so long watches television that has become estranged from the 
normal, not spoiled them, people ... 


   - Yes, but you did not picked up?


   - It's you on the old yeast picks.


   - Hey, I just remembered anecdote.


   - Only for God's sake, not obscene!


   - No, I just do not indecent remembered. This means that man
one - went into the street. Left, therefore, goes, goes, on the 
hand looks. (Pause) No! Remembered. A man, then woke up this 
morning ... (Pause) Yes! But his wife was. Well, the wife gets 
up in the morning and goes out ... Goes, goes ... (Pause) Well, 
went to work, then altogether. A guy gets up in the morning, 
(Valera says mysteriously, with desperate gestures) looks into 
one room - no wife, looks the other - no wife, watching a third 
- not a wife ... (Pause) looks into the kitchen - no wife, 
looks into the bathroom - not a wife ... (Pause) 


   - Look in the toilet - no wife, - added the story Ivan.


   - Well, go, go, and again: the hands looked! No ... (Pause)
Yes! I remember! Well, the man in the fridge. Reaching for the 
sausage, cheese, there bread and a bottle! (Solemnly) pint! 
Vodka, then drink! AND went into the street. Goes and looks at 
his hand ... (Pause) ... To meet the guy goes and asks a 
cigarette ... No! In! I remember! Muzhik watch something at 
home forgotten! A guy goes to meet! A clock is not present! A 
guy asks a cigarette and looks at his watch and asks: how long? 
A man looked at his hand, looks - not hours! A guy somehow 
understood everything and fled. A man behind him, so ... 
(Pause) Yes! And watch some otobrol and went home. And the 
night, so dark! I came home, his wife asked: Where is watch? A 
man says: Here they are. A wife and then says: Oh, you now 
watch something on the table lie. 


   - You throw your Masonic anecdotes! - Grimly remarked Ivan.


   - No, I just forgot a little bit. And one more thought!


   - No, that's enough! Turn on your TV better.


   Valera turned on my TV.


   - Which program?


   - How do I know which program? Turn on, let's see.


   "Dear Comrades, today in our program the evening of one-act
pieces of ancient life, based on the works of Jean Racine, 
Oswald Spengler and others. " 


   Caption:
             Hippolytus
        (Based on the works of Jean Racine)


   (On the stage sits hoary with age, the old man leafing 
through some parchments. Runs in a young man with a completely 
skewed face and grinds his teeth. )



   Elder (sad and imposingly): Who are you, on the lad?

   A young man (with foam at the mouth): I - wild Hippolytus!


   (The young man breaks on his mantle and runs away. Curtain.)


   Ivan Valera and thoughtful look at the screen.


   - I do not understand! - Finally says Ivan.


   Valera scratched his head and sighed.


   - This type of humor, or what? - Ivan asked.


   - From ancient life - calmly said Valera, who found no
drama anything unusual. On the TV screen a new title:

              The Decline of Europe
        (Based on the works of Spengler.)


   (On stage, two columns, two ficus, two doors. From one door 
to the bathroom, headlong, barefoot, and generally, just 
something as elegantly draped, runs Archimedes. )



   Archimedes (fresh, young, as a typical representative of the 
beginning of civilization, very excitedly): 


   - Eureka!


   (From the other door goes Andrei Filippov, dirty, older, 
though younger than Archimedes twenty years, hunched in 
obtruhannyh pants, with a grid of empty bottles - clear, was to 
pass, Yes zaplutal. )



   Andrey Filippov (with a wise bitterly representative sunset 
civilization): 


   - @ $% Vrika!


   Everything happens instantly, the whole drama takes five 
seconds, then is better described as follows:



   Archimedes: Eureka!


   Andrei Filippov: @ $% vrika!

            (Curtain)


   Ivan jumped up, wildly:


   - Have you heard!


   - What?


   Ivan thought, and laughed wildly:


   - You know, I felt like he said?


   - How?


   - "@ $% Vrika!


   - Duc, he said so, - replied quietly Valera.


   - What are you, went nuts, or what?


   - And now, often on the television show is, Ivan 
reconstruction. 


   - What "is"?


   - Here's the other day seven $% 'in the show.


   - Who?


   - In Africa, such a beast - Octopus seven $% '.


   - Yes, you're so ooh @ ate from his wash! Finally, a thread
undoing! Let's switch, this will suffice us m% @ # shadow 
Masonic watch!



   Valera switched the TV to another program and began to pour 
Braga. 

            Alexander Zhegulev

               "So it was with Sasha Pogodin, boys
              nice and clean, had elected him to life
              satisfaction of the passions and torments of his 
... Sad               and gentle, loved by all, has been 
dissipated to the bottom               his soul, and he was 
buried with the wicked               and murderers. "

                               L. Andreev


   ... But when it got dark, Sasha was just unbearable to look 
at distant glow of city lights.



   His eyes were watering from the headlights of passing cars 
rarely, and even from that it was only a few hours as he kissed 
her - maybe the last time! - A young wife and clean, serene 
baby ... 


   "No, - at which time he gritted his teeth until the blood - 
so right!" 


   "Why?" - Again enveloped his web of uncertainty
ambiguity and, most importantly, strong trash his chosen
fate.


   "Why?" - Again he raised his handsome face to the sky and 
the stars twinkled him: the share of such. 


   "What percentage? Bedov share?"


   "No. Just: the proportion of such."


   Machines quite ceased pass. Sasha vybrolsya from a ditch on 
the highway and terebya sweaty hands, pocket knife, went into 
darkness. 


   By the city heard the rhythmic yelps and flickered light: 
approaching postman on a bicycle. It was luck. 


   - Wait, postman - sweltering voice said Sasha, having lived 
the last seconds before the fracture, - stop, it's time ... 


   Alexander felt that the knife, hands and tongue refused him.


   - What? - Said the spacey postman puts his foot off the pedal
on the ground. At the same moment Sasha freed from under his 
jacket in hand with a knife several times, how could profoundly 
struck him. Postman pobarahtalsya in his bike and fell with a 
clatter on the asphalt. 


   "Krovushka shed innocent ..." - Thought bitterly Sasha
svolakivaya lifeless body into a ditch.


   (Ivan puzzled look on Valera Marousi, but he calmly
contemplated demonstrated. )


   Letters found in a postman in the bag, which Alexander had 
torn and scattered on the highway, and some trampled heels into 
the ground. Wrapped up in a pile of newspapers rekvezirovannyh, 
Sasha long noisy rustling, like a hedgehog, and tossed in a wet 
bushes, unable to sleep. 


   "Well, that started ... - he thought, and trembled, - a 
quivering creature, or ..." 

     . . . . . . . . . .


   The case went quickly and well. By Sasha joined by many, is 
seen the time is ripe - his party has grown like a snowball, 
not by leaps and hours. After a successful raid on a post of 
GAI got weapons, ammunition, greatly expand the scope of combat 
operations. Not neglected, and trivia.



   And the people loved Sasha, loved and understood. Understood 
and if squad blew up water towers and bridges rushil, and when

Alexander, tears of pity, shot dozens of peasant women who 
gather in the field of potatoes.



   "Earth is decorated as flowers" - spoke about Alexander
the villages, he wore milk, cottage cheese - all knew that he 
took with fight village store, Sasha rekveziroval food, and 
burned without pity. If anyone caught on the expropriation - 
shot personally. And the discipline was in the unit hard - no 
conversations, songs. Fighters, clenching his teeth, suffered 
even declared Sasha Prohibition. Everything was subordinated to 
one goal, one program: 


   1. Kill

   2. Best of all innocent

   3. Agonized then

   4. The earth will tremble

   5. People will wake up the conscience

   7. Still unknown, but something will be


   And the motto was in the unit is simple: "Today you are 
alive, and tomorrow you no. "



   Three of the most desperate fighters: Senya Mushroom 
Kolotyrnika, Pantyukhov wet and Tomilin Sasha appointed platoon 
and entrusted to make separate raids in the area. 


   Senya Mushroom Kolotyrnik, severely affected without alcohol
chronic alkagolik, did everything to justify the high trust. By 
calling Senya was a public avenger topper, a class that would 
have shook from it in horror and Taras Bulba Malachi Wald, and 
shied away aimlessly, and hid his head under his arm would be. 
Of this caliber was Senya avenger that mankind could not 
smorgnuv, spit in his face, put (as Mramalad bomb) Globe on one 
hand and another slam. 


   Mushroom Kolotyrnikom affectionately called his soldiers for 
what he often thwarted by bad mood mushroom pickers. Poryschet, 
poryschet in woods, and stumbles on the mushroom picker:



   - Come on, Come on, come here, gribnichek!


   - And what do you actually need, comrade?


   - You do not ershis, and replied: picking mushrooms?


   - Yes, collected.


   - Did you sow them, sat?


   - Let me go, comrade!


   - Here's something gribnichek: collect what is not planted, 
and reap that did not sow, so I will not let you nowhere else 
to go. 


   And zastuchit mushroom Senya face up to death. Today you are 
alive, and tomorrow you do not have.


     . . . . . . . . . .


   - Hey, what's that show? - Asked anxiously, Ivan
Valéry.


   - As what? About the guerrillas. And maybe about the 
revolution. 


   - What are the partisans, goosey? You saw how they 
zhigulenki blow, Icarus? 


   - What do you mean Ivan, a typical film about the war. And 
maybe about the guerrillas. 


   - Well, fool you, Valerie! Absolutely you move out of the 
attic wash! Nor can such a show, you understand? Can not! 
Perhaps, though, science fiction? No, not like ... 


   Valera calmly looked at the screen. Ivan jumped up in alarm
pacing the room, never taking his eyes off the TV.

     . . . . . . . . . .