Info Guide #02

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Humor - Excerpts - short phrases and aphorisms.

               Excerpts.


   Anton Pavlovich Chekhov did not like to keep
drafts of their manuscripts. Usually those were burned just 
before the administration the latter in redaktsiyu.No follow 
the process creativity of the great writer help us

his note-9 note-knizhki.Sohranilos
Chekhov's books with records of a different nature: it's 
recipes, addresses, accounts, gardening; special interest are 
the same for us, I-I and IV-I knizhki.Pervaya book contains the 
most diverse material.V quarter included only untapped creative 
writing from the first book. Published the most interesting 
passages. 


   Solomon did, as they say, big mistake, that he asked wisdom.


   Philosophize about love N.mog, but
love - no.


   One rms. State Councillor looked
the beautiful landscape and said: What a wonderful departure of 
nature! 


   From the notes of an old dog: people do not eat
slops and bones, which throws the cook, - fools!


   Do not get married and sit in the old maid, because they do 
not represent each other any interest, even physical. 


   National Science there, and no national multiplication 
table, that same nation, it is not science. 


   Walked down a taxi and he was ashamed that
He curves his paws.


   This sudden and untimely love affair which had occurred 
similar to how you would led the boys somewhere to walk, if

promenade would be interesting and fun - and
suddenly have a glut oneself oil paint.


   Our universe, perhaps, is
the tooth of some monster.

- Are you hungry?
- No, the opposite.


   A pregnant woman with short arms and
long neck, like a kangaroo.


   The so-called children's pure life
joy is the joy of the animal.


   I can not stand when the screaming children. But
when my baby cries, I can not hear.


   Caligula made his horse in the Senate, so
Here I come from this horse.


   Man, to-ing (which can be seen in appearance)
did not like, except sosisek with cabbage.


   High-school student: it is a figment of your imagination
covered with darkness of obscurity.


   And I dreamed that I thought was reality is a dream, a dream 
is a reality. 


   The game of cordiality and hospitality.


   I noticed that cease to be married
curious.


   For happiness is usually required as much time as it needs,
to start a clock.


   We must be clear mentally, morally clean and tidy physically.


   A hungry dog ​​believes only in meat.

- And then he went out in all their regalia ...
- And what are the jewels?
- Bronze Medal for work on the 1997 census
Mr.


   Officer's son fights for what he
all subjects receive a 5. That seems low. Then, when he 
explained that he was wrong, that 5 - is the best mark, he 
still struck a son - with anger at himself.



   This is not a woman, and firecrackers.


   Proverb: hit the flock, barking is not barking, and
tail wagging.


   Vorobyiha think that it is not a sparrow chirps and sings 
very well. 


   Those rosy-cheeked ladies and old ladies so
well, what they are even couples attending.


   Not increased the number of nervous diseases and
Nervous patients, and the number of physicians capable of
watch these diseases.


   Than cultural, the unhappier.


   Life at odds with the philosophy: happiness
not without idleness, pleasure
only what is needed.


   Grandpa give to eat fish, and if he does not
poisoned and still alive, then it eats all the
family.


   Perepiska.Molodoy h-k wants to devote
to literature, wrote about it constantly
father, in the end throws the service is going to
Petersburg and devoted himself to literature -
goes to the censor.


   Thick, plump landlady - a mixture of
pigs with white sturgeon.


   Two young officers in corsets.


   One captain was teaching his daughter fortification.


   The man loves to talk about their illnesses, and yet it is 
the most uninteresting in his life ...



   Women without male society fade, and
men without women glupeyut.


   The patient asks the innkeeper q <Oketo> pa:
<When I get sick, then for God's sake, hear, come, without 
waiting for an invitation. Sister mine would not invite you: it 
sparingly You take 3r.za visit>. 1-2 months

Dr. hears that the innkeeper is very ill, and
hardly going to go to him, as received from the
sister letter: <my brother died>. After 5
days, Dr. accidentally travels to the village and learns that 
the landlord had died only today morning. Outraged, goes into 
traktir.Sestra black is in the corner and read the psalms. Dr.

begins to reproach of avarice, cruelty.
My sister read a psalm, and every 2-3
phrase breaks gryzotney (<lot going on here ..
Wears you buffoons>).


   Seminary in the village cramming latyn.Kazhdye 1 / 2 hour 
run in the maiden, and screwing eyes, felt them, nibbling, they 
scream, laugh - Then again for knigu.Eto he calls "a 
refreshing>. 


   To go with his wife in Paris is like
go to Tula with his samovar.


   According to Professor: not Shakespeare importantly, a
notes thereto.


   Not so bind love, friendship, respect, as a general hatred 
for anything. 


   Depravity - a bag with a to-eye man
born.


   The young lady, like a fish tail up;
mouth like a hollow, I want to put a penny back.


   The young man has collected a million marks,
lay on them and shot himself.


   Get married, because both have nowhere to go.


   A man without a mustache is like a woman
with a mustache.


   Who can not take affection, he did not take and rigor.

- Why did your uncle died?
- He instead of 15 drops Botkin, as prescribed
Dr, received 16.


   Not to resist evil and to resist
goodness can be.


   Dead shame, no shame, but the stink terribly.


   Instead, sheets dirty tablecloths.


   The husband invites friends in the Crimea to his
the dacha, and his wife then secretly from her husband, gives
their accounts and receive the rent and the table.


   Disease: it hydrotherapy.


   The maid, cleaning the bed, every time
throwing shoes under the bed to the wall.
Master fat finally loses his temper and
wants to get rid of the girl gornichnuyu.Okazyvaetsya that this 
doctor told her to throw out shoes to cure the fat man.



   Little tiny schoolboy named
Trahtenbauer.


   In the theater. Gentleman asks a lady to remove
hat to-heaven prevents emu.Ropot, disappointment, request. 
Finally, a confession: "Madam, I'm the author! - Answer: I do 
not care. (The author is in the theater in secret from 
everyone.) 


   To act wisely, a little crazy
(Dostoyevsky).


   Awful dinner every day from h-com, who stutters and says 
silly things. 


   Looking at the full tasty Well, well: it
not x <enschi> on, and full moon!


   Would like to think (judging by the face) that the
corsage in her gills.


   The woman is under the deception is not art, and the noise 
produced when composed art.



   Reviewer N.zhivet with actress X. Benefit.
Foul play, the game mediocre, but N. must
praise. He wrote briefly: . Wrote the last two words and 
it is easy to sigh. The next day goes to X., the one opens the 
door, gives a kiss and a hug and a toxic person says: <more 
tomorrow>. 


   Complaint: My son Stepan poor health,
it's why I was learning in the Crimea, and there
it tore the vine, from that of
his lower back was got phylloxera, and now the doctors can do 
nothing. 


   Mitya and Katya heard dad blasts
rocks at the quarries. And they also wanted to
to blow up an angry grandfather, took office with the Pope 
pounds of gunpowder, poured a full bottle, held the wick and 
put under the seat grandfather when he was dozing in the 
afternoon, but were soldiers with the music - and only this

prevented them to enforce their idea.


   In the barn smells bad: 10 years ago it
lodged mowers, and since then the smell.


   Russian state-run country.


   Radikalka, baptized at night, secretly stuffed with 
prejudices, secretly superstitious, heard that in order to be 
happy, have a black cat at night to cook. Stealing cat and 
night trying to cook. 


   25-year anniversary of the publisher. Tears speech:
"Victim" 10 r. in favor of literature. Fund
issuance percent of the poor and to ensure that
was appointed a special commission to issue proficiency rules>.


   X.: from kvass I started having abdominal
cholera riots.


   There are writers who have to-which each product 
individually brilliant, in general, these writers are 
uncertain, in others every the product is not anything special, 
but in general they are defined and brilliant.



   W <eystvitelny> with <Tat> with <ovetnik>
powder.


   Needless to say, he's a good man.


   Howled, not only dogs, but even the horses.


   Rydala.Muzh wife took her by the shoulders and shook, and 
she stopped crying. 

- Why are your songs are so brief? - Asked
once a bird .- Or you do not have enough breath?
- I have a lot of songs, and I would like to
tell them all.

                             Alf. Daudet.


   The dog hates the teacher, it prohibits
barking at him, she looks, does not bark, but the crying
anger.


   Faith is the ability of the spirit. Animals
it does not, among savages and undeveloped people -
fear and somnenie.Ona only available high ogranizatsiyam.


   Death is terrible, but even worse would be
mind that you will live forever and ever
not die.


   The audience loves the art of the most
what is banal and it has long been known to what
she was accustomed.


   Teacher: Do not celebrate the centenary
Pushkin, he did nothing for the church.


   If you want to be optimistic and to understand
life, stop believing what they say
and write, and watch yourself and heed.


   University develops all capabilities, in
including stupidity.


   With all of our carelessness, and the inability of the 
majority and unaccustomed to peer and to try to understand the 
phenomena of life, nowhere, as we so often do not say: <What 
vulgarity!>, nowhere are the so-slightly, often mocking other 
people's merits, serious issues. And on the other side of 
nowhere Crushes authority, like us, Russian, humiliated by 
centuries of slavery, those who fear freedom. 


   Celebrating the humble person.
To find fault with the occasion to show themselves,
compliment each druga.I only missed the end of lunch: hero of 
the day was not invited to have forgotten ... 


   Pretty, quiet lady, coming out of himself, says:
- If I were a man, then so would give
him in the face!


   I'll define!


   <Large selection of whitefish> - so read X.,
passing through each day on the street, and all wondered how it 
can be traded among sigami and who needs whitefish. And only 
after 30 years read as follows closely: <Large

selection of cigars>.


   Bribe Engineer: dynamite cartridge, filled with 
hundred-ruble note. 


   Non-operational, the so-called ruling classes can not remain 
long without voyny.Bez war, they are bored, tired of idleness, 
annoys them, they do not know why live eat each other, trying 
to tell a friend other more trouble, possibly with impunity, 
and the best ones from all forces are trying not to get bored 
with each other and themselves. But there comes a war that 
seizes all, captures, and general misery for all links.



   Changed the wife - this is a great cold
patty, which does not want to touch it, because
that she was kept in the hands of someone else.


   On her face was not enough skin: To close your eyes, you had 
to open his mouth - and vice versa. 


   X.filosofstvuet: <That would take a word nose, we have it 
goodness knows what, one might say, obscene body part, and the 
French - Wedding>. And in fact have been improper for X.nos 
part of the body. 


   Merchant, trading kvas label with the crown. ICSU annoying, 
insulting, he suffers from thought that the merchant usurps the 
crown; X complaining of all sticks, looking for revenge -

etc., dies of grief and trouble.


   Governess teasing way: gesticulation.


   Tears dripped on your hands, I kissed her.


   Girl with admiration of her aunt: she
very beautiful, as beautiful as our dog!


   Barin zarugaet!


   In a love letter: .


   - Wipe, Vanya, a little knife.


   Anything one: sit in the back or get out of the body.


   The train luxe - it's the dregs of society.


   A real man is made up of husband and rank.


   Commercial and industrial medicine.


   Son. Today, it seems, on Thursday.

   Mother (not heard). What?

   Son (angry). Thursday! (Pokoyno.) must
to the bath.

   Mother. What?

   Son (angry, resentful voice). In the bath!


   Lyubov.Ili a remnant of something of a degenerate, who once 
was a huge or it's part of what the future will evolve in

something great, this is it does not satisfy, gives much less 
than you expect. 


   In the first act, X., decent h-k, takes
N. hundred rubles a loan and does not give over
All four acts.


   Father Ierohiromandrit.


   (Looking at the album) - Who's that mug?
- This is my uncle ...


   Dear cousin!


   Sea storm. Lawyers need to look at
her as a crime.

                   ,,

   My name is not Kuritsyn and Kuritsyn.


   Be in the wind, one cheek on fire.


   He died because he was afraid of cholera.


   Looks like as chalk and cheese.


   All this predsedura.


   Take all this (to the girder with
Service), as the atmospheric phenomena.


   Soldier: <On theater>.


   Husband and wife loved the guests, because without
guests quarreled.


   If you want you to have had little time, then do nothing.


   Head you're my daring, you'll be a long time eh
I wear it.


   German monkey invented - invented it
much more interesting than most monkey.


   I saw at dinner, and pretty - choked, then he saw another 
pretty - and again choked. Have not had dinner, a lot

it was pretty.


   He did not eat, and tasted.


   They say: in the end truth will triumph, but it's not true.


   He signed as follows: Gavrylenko.


   M. Spence.


   He made his hand as if someone took the
the hair, and said: You have me from under entakoy things do 
not go>. 


   Ms. N., sells himself, everyone says: I love you for what 
you are not the same as everything.



   Intelligent, or rather, belonging
a range of intelligent woman is different
falsehoods.


   Impresario-director read a new piece, lying in bed. Read 3-4 
pages and with anger slammed on the floor, put out his candle, 
took refuge, after a while, thinking again took the play and 
began to read, then thought it worthless, long product, again 
slammed on the floor, again put out the candle. A little later

took up again for the play, etc. Then put, it failed.


   (Angrily admonished) - why do not you
let me read the letters to your wife? because we
relatives.


   Why depict some of the weak, acidic and
sinful, and anyone advising to take only strong, healthy, 
interesting, certainly the most themselves.



   Deacon Catacombs.


   Slow slow, but fast ride - in
character of this nation, "said Bismarck.


   When an actor has money, he sends
no letters, and telegrams.