Public Spirit #01 17 мая 1997

Юмор

Haha - Humor.

 Music:
(C) Dave


 Merfologiya D. Raymhila

 Programming - the science of
how to fooling people,
not knowing that such programming.
 Three board programmer:
 If the program does not work, then
Check if your computer
the network.
 If the program is not
despair, and check whether the computer network.
 Whatever happens, make sure you have a computer.


             The law of existence
             hold: For being
             tion programs do not

             necessarily exist
             The existence of computer
             tera.


             Consequence of the law
              in existence:
 The program does not necessarily present on your computer.
 The program does not need the existence of the program.
 For the existence of error does not
necessarily the existence of the program, which was made
oschibka specified.
 Degree of difficulty written
program is measured not complicated algorithm, and its volume.
 The result of the programmer
evaluated not the result of his program, and the weight of their
printouts.


  The law is working correctly
program.
 If the program is always
correct, then it means that
either it is not a program, or one of two things.
 In any instruction is always skipped the most important thing 
- what if this device or program does not work.

 Volume description of any peripheral device is always greater 
than the volume of a computer description.  Volume description 
of any devices increases inversely proportional to the 
complexity of the device.  Consequence of N1: Volume Description

NOTHING goes to infinity.
 Consequence of N2: Volume Description
TOTAL is zero.
 Consequence N3: Describe or something
nor the other can not.
 All programs are divided into two
form: either as complex,
that they can not write, or unnecessary.
 Any programmer can to
the end of the deal only in a foreign program.
 All programs are written to the contrary.
 The further develop programming, the more backup resources by 
various programs like the conversation

several deaf-mutes who
thus also see badly.
 Any resident program does not
love rivals.
 Any OS is mainly performs
only three tasks - provides treatment programs, allocates 
memory and interfere with the programmer - and neither the 
first nor the second with second task, it usually fails.

 Scope of program
that does nothing is infinite.
 Consequence of the expansion area
use of computers is
extension of omnipotence
hackers.
 Note: Do ESeNGeshnyh prog
rammistov Western viruses usually die ... either from 
starvation, or from ESeNGeshnyh viruses.

 If your antivirus program
assures you that no viruses -
hence, it is outdated.


   SELECTED STATEMENTS
TEACHERS IN THE MILITARY DEPARTMENT

1. You're not here, here you
quickly otuchat vodka
booze and riots
break.
 2. Military secrecy is not that
you are studying, and that
learn just you.
 3. The value of the sine in the military
time can be up to four.
 4. Coniferous forest burns better
than woody.
 5.Vy hoping that the exam
You will put a triple? Put,
but that it's easier not to be.
 6.Po team 'rebound' occurs
the dark.
 7.Nado understand how to
and to punish anybody.
 8.Kombat foot does not go, he
takes a GAZ-69 or zam.po
Technology.
 9.Golova soldier - to
think, the brains - to
think.
 10.Nachalo - sex affairs, the end -
around the head.
 11.Boevoy sheet must be
Martial leaf, because it is the same
Battle piece!
 12.Tak light that just
breathe!
 13.Litso the photograph should
be square.
 14.Tanki come in groups of
three - four.
 15.Dozornaya machine sent
forward at the visual
memory.
 16.Vse your troubles due to
that top button
undone.
 17.Signal the attack - three
green whistle.
 18.Tozhe me defender of the motherland -
in the trenches is not sitting, and on
classroom talk.
 19.Pust number of tanks as well
'K' ... No, 'K' is small, we take
'H'.
 20.Nelzya all break, it is necessary to
something to sit on.
 21.Orientiruyu: landmark
first - pine with birch
apex.
 22.Tovarisch student if you
want to say something, you better
keep quiet.
 23.Ne pull on rubber in the long
box.
 24.Vseh missing
build a single file.
 25.Rulevoe management is
to turn right, left and
the other side.
 26.Ey, you three, both to me.
 27.C you wonder
talk to when you
Yea.
 28.Eto you bodily sideways.
 29.Dolozhite the presence of people
who is not all that punish.
 30.Ili you stop smoking,
or one of two things.
 31.Serzhant, you have orderly
Swifts do not, your ears hang.
 32.Vozmite statutes and
rewrite them by heart.
 33.Vy that such an uneven
have drawn the square, comrade, you
that color-blind?
 34.Molchat! I ask you!
 35.V company of seven slobs, and
you wear your hair parted in the middle.
 36.Vystupaem evening at
dawn.
 37.Vy student, or where you are in
order, or what?
 38.Rota! For the garbage in the bath
gets!
 39.Slushay my team: the first
Platoon incident-, second - direction of the,
third platoon - everywhere!
 40.Tovarisch student, do not
intelligent person, you are the future
officer!
 41.Tovarisch student if you
moron, say so and nothing
a gun rack.
 42.Osobo secret documents.
"Shovel," "sweatshirt", ha-ha !!!...
 43.Zhivete here, as a pig in
den.
 44.Chto a pig is gone,
cow, or what?
 45.Ty I see, I'm where
normal, and where ruthless.
 46.Vzvod! Explain the problem:
collect all the bricks and burn them.
 47.Kopat from the fence and up
evening roll, with shovels
I have already agreed.
 48.Vzvod! Back to back
in a checkerboard pattern on diagnali
gets!
 49.Seychas I'll give you a fun
and you will feel your finger on
his head.
 50.YA do not understand how you can
drink? Well, one drink,

   Well another well liter, well, two,
but why get drunk?