KrNews #09 18 мая 1999

Юмор

Humor - Notes of a Naturalist.

         Notes naturOlista "


(C) Maxx'99


            "The silence deepens. Now

             Let the honest man his mouth

                             asunder.

             I turn of events

                           not to their liking. "


                            Robert Sheckley


 Hi folks! Now is the "place" to continue
One of our "interesting" sections,
who, with enviable fickle sometimes
and lets you know about yourself. Duc here. Not even
I know how to present it all. In general,
all cited below can be attributed to
a certain underground'y, beyond the
under generally accepted. Or maybe not
withstand the pressure of ethics. In this case, it is better to 
stop reading. ;) 


   __________________________________

 And it was so.

 I then resigned from his job (but this is
other "dark" story.) Took to my
another man, and I passed on the act
him all the "equipment". But after talking with him on the 
topic "Computers" it turned out that he does not know what 
"NDD"! (Anyone who knows - will understand. A post -

an expert on computer technology!)
 Meanwhile, access to "official" I-Net'y
remained.
 Took a couple of months, I was asked to
check out one e-box (not mine) and I got the idea to check your 
old "Working" box, which I owned until recently the sole - 
maybe something ktond nd memory of old wrote.  Bah. And really 
- a pack of letters. Just in case decided only to make copies 
of them, and with server does not delete - Suddenly office on

feet and stood up to get here.
 I read and another in the side shove, type - got it lamer to 
"our" Nat. AND once more of his time in the side - look, they 
say, what topic went. More trenchant. We were

horrified that dramatically transforms into a stage of "Ha-ha." 
Total expected, but not this. Suddenly, in a letter flashed my 
name. Lech laughing makes fun - and you in

mud trampled "-" Phew, leave me alone. "
 In general, see themselves, and themselves will understand.



   __________________________________


  Children under 18 to read is not recommended.

   __________________________________

(03/04/1999 Beginning.)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
From: "Serg N. Shpak" <****@****>
To: "lYuYYaHL fYuPMHYNB" <****@****>
Subj: Re: tsde Pm IDUs dpsts.
 Hi David!
 Did not understand from your letter.
Very sorry. Now that my program does not accept, it is best to 
send letters through kiss.ru. If you have not forgotten my 
address there ****kiss.ru. I want very much to you

friends. Today is the day - from 17 to 18 hours
repeatedly called for you to Kuban -
in fact the phone that you have
8 (****) *-**-**, but nobody came. If you want zvyakni me. My 
tel. - 8 - (812) *******. Only ask because I live alone, call 
in the afternoon - with 13 to 19 hours. Except Sundays and 
Mondays. This afternoon (Tuesday) I home all day. If you call, 
I will only too happy. I want you to explain to me

how best to introduce Sergei Lushakovu,
and writing letters can be written any you like - than 
shamelessly, the more interesting. Do not be shy. I own and 
jokes love. Sergei whole.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= From: "Serg N. Shpak" 
<** **@****> Who: <****@****>

Subject: re


  Hi boys!

  Gently hug and kiss you.
Thee, loving Sasha, and you volosatenky David, until your small 
but plump colt. Now I understand why as the return address in 
your letters is "****** ********", And then e-mail address. 
Daily activities likely, it is the one who officially computer 
belongs. Yes?  Regarding mail. Your letters to the address 
<****@****> can not read, but quietly read a letter on

Address <****@****>. The conclusion is, write
the last address.
 Deal? Sergei was able to call
only on Tuesday. My wife today
tomorrow weekend. The woman is too
curious, but I do not need complications.
I hope I can continue to live a double
life. Not the best option, but what can you do. As the saying 
goes, it's my zamorochki. Of course, if I meet someone I'll 
really need ... But that guessing in advance. As they say:

wait and see. Sergei sure to call and hope that it will help me
find a friend.
 By the way, it's amazing that I could not
yesterday to get your letter. I'm sitting on the network before 
9 am. I remind you of an hour night - before 9 am. By the way, 
this afternoon call you. My tel. - 8 - (812) *******.

Well, I already seem to be written.
 Now, about the conversations. David, I am not so
brought to chat in kiss.ru. I
more passionate to those who understands me, but those who do 
not, I prefer not frank. I read that someone out there

wrote. By the way, David, maybe I'm wrong,
but you have to play there as a den. So? A Den
somewhere mentions that he had
whether a girlfriend, or wife with schizophrenia.
It's you or not? That is, with women
you lived or not?
 I have lived, you know it, but never any charm to have sex 
with them is not experienced. But the father of the heir.  
Going back to chetu. At kiss.ru is not Interestingly, while the 
"couch", as I understand, they are read, once there is 
censorship. This I also do not like. Maybe I want

do cybel-love - when I zaglyadatai
This is not needed. Imagine that I
describe how you want to entertain. Then
that you are at the same time potechesh, excite and
vylesh their love juices (you know
to whom), that's fine. Can I do this
I want to please you, may
it and I am pleased. And to realize while
that I was eavesdropping on some type or
types and mocks me - No,
dismiss.
 It is best to talk directly. For
this purpose better than ICQ program you can imagine. You can 
download it from the following Servers http://www.icq.com/ or

http://www .****.****> Second Page
- This is our server, it also sends a
http://www.icq.com, but when
download the setup file, it passes
through anti-virus programs. If
kachesh directly to http://www. icq.com,
be sure to skip through any anti-virus program is best
by AVP (AntiViral Toolkit Pro).
ICQ is installed without any problems. What good is ICQ? First, 
it immediately connects to the Internet as soon as you walk 
into him. Secondly, if someone from your

computer friends who also installed the program, at this moment
is on the network, the program immediately is
shows. This allows you to instantly send a letter to start a 
conversation the network directly, send files and images that 
the volume can not pass, no e-mail program or explorer. For 
example, I sent one Canadian clip 3Mgb - of army life, and he 
sent me a clip about this same amount - fucking. And, when you 
send a file, the program shows how much is pumped and how much 
time is left for the transfer and sending. AND it can be seen - 
and to send, and the host. Very good talk. Turn on chet - and 
not have to wait. Goes free simultaneous conversation. You see 
on the monitor as the source is typing. There are in this 
program and other advantages. But there are also disadvantages. 
Since the output file You can get the virus. I know from 
experience. But now, these viruses that they can be obtained 
with ordinary letter. The most dangerous right now - melissa.

I've heard that there has been the virus, which
as soon as it turns into your computer, erase
all the information provided therein. It's just a nightmare.
God forbid such a virus to catch. At the beginning of the year 
was a virus happy99, which changed the configuration of your 
computer. Already even calculated the frequency of appearance 
of virus. The new expected April 26. Better in this day in the 
network does not come out.  These are the pies, my dears. I - 
do not programmer, but something that I know. Incidentally, I'm 
going to install via ICQ week. If you already have this program 
set, be sure to let me know your number. Okay?

 My dear, you know, I was so endeared to you as if you know the 
whole eternity. I really want to meet you. Will be in St. 
Petersburg necessarily remember me. But I hope that by

this time we will be with you internetovskimi inseparable 
friends. I do, in Anyway, not going to throw. AND

very grateful to you for your attention to
me. Whole, write. If you are in the network,
immediately respond. Able day zvyaknut - I'll be glad. Write to 
remind address - <****@****>.

 I hug and kiss. Your Sergey


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 From: "Serg N. Shpak" <****@****>
 Who: <****@****>
 Subject:??


> I'm on the Internet is not Che did not understand where
> You can download the information and how? (ICQ)
> Explain if you can! Okay.?
> Hot hug your friend, David!

David, I repeat - the page or www.icq.
com or through a search at http:
/ / Www .****.**** In the preceding letter
sent items just a couple of minutes ago, I
All this is written. There will discover schelknesh
to download and start the download (it is in one file).
Then run - anywhere you say "yes", and
program will be installed. Then restart your computer. In the 
startup of You must be ICQ detector, which

loaded along with the entrance to the Internet.
That's it.
 Sergey

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 From: "serge shpak" <****@****>
 Who: <****@****>
 Subject: Re:
 My dears, David and Sasha. For this
night you wrote three letters - no
response, not a greeting. What are you tonight
Internet did not come? Looked at
mash, too, you are not there. Do not throw
me, my sweet. Waiting for messages. Your Serge.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 From: "Serg N. Shpak" <****@****>
 Who: <****@****>
 Subject:

 Hi boys!
 Called, as promised, Lushakovu. He
requested that you convey that you are scum and
vile creature. Said that on May 29 arrived in Krasnodar. Asked 
you to prepare for his arrival the sea of ​​beautiful boys.

 How I envy him! True, he promised
I care. We shall see. We agreed to meet - only 10 days,
April 15, earlier because of his duty and
my lectures is not obtained.
 Today is the day you called again. Someone
picked it up, blew into it and hung.
Tomorrow I'm home all day - could and
zvyaknut.
 My letters received? Where were you all
night? Your letters are not answered in a "mess" you were not 
there. What are you - I ignore? As not good, I you with all of 
its soul, and you ... Suchu ...

 Today went to the network at exactly midnight.
Immediately send a letter. Hopefully, we're gonna still last 
night meet in the chatterbox. Everything depends on

how quickly you answer the
this letter. By the way, there is a "chatterbox"
cheta tête-à-tête? If yes, explain
how to get there. Okay?
 I kiss you in your pretty head.
 Your plump, already in love with you
friend of Peter. Sergey

P.S. Unfortunately, I was detained with all sorts of
nonsense wife. And I'm out on the Internet
only now - at 2.20 nights.
Boys, find me. I want to talk.
Whole. Sergey.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 From: "Serg N. Shpak" <****@****>
 Who: <****@****>
 Subject:
 Guys, What are you - take offense at me?
Maybe I made some faux pas?
 Well forgive me, for God's sake. I really want
friends with you, and you abandoned me ...
 Sergey

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= From: "Serg N. Shpak" 
<** **@****>  Who: <****@****>

 Subject:
 Guys, Looks like you're offended by me.
I think I can guess why. Offended
as I understand, David, when mixed
Dehn him, from the "mash" on kiss.ru.
David, forgive me, for God's sake. I did no harm meant. I 
really want to be friends with you guys. And your silence as a 
stone on the heart. Write at least a few lines that I know that 
you are not offended. Or maybe you say something

due to the fact that the few times I called
you, and you did not like it, but then
did not have to give your phone. You can
call me at any time. I gave the phone, but again I repeat - 
(812) *******. Understand, I am to you with all my heart and I 
wish you only good. I really want you

communicate. By the way, Daville, you put
ICQ? If so, you can contact me
through ICQ. My number is ********. I think
During the conversation, all misunderstandings will disappear. 
Please let us have a you a letter with a greeting from Sergei. 
Soon I met him. As I understand it, he's going to arrange 
something like my Smotrin. I look forward to when I will put on 
a show. Generally I love all sorts of jokes, but sometimes I 
can, without any ulterior motive, breccia stupidity. If

I repeat, sorry. As they say,
and the old woman is proruha. Embrace and
kiss you and beg for forgiveness.
 Your friend from St. Petersburg
 Sergey

 P.S. Since I do not exclude that
You could occur problems with the computer or e-mail program, I 
am sending this letter to two addresses. I await your reply.

Sergey
_

 All names have been retained.
 All the "key" WWW / e-mail address
as well as phone numbers have been replaced by
with "*".
 "Interested" in love abide
in the dark about vmeshatlstve in their personal
life.

_

 How do you like?
 Well I warned - it is better not to read!

In general - the abomination of it all, imho.

_


If you doubt the ethics of this
publication, let me know about it.

_

 P.S. A've read yet ... :-)