Impulse #05 28 июля 1999

Юмор

Beer - Classic problems in the use of beer.

            How to Use Beer in the bar.
Instructions for beginners beer (develops a methodological 
Center for Professional regulars BEER England, Scotland, 
Ireland, Holland and Germany). 


                                 (C) Although the kill, I do 
not remember. 

                                     Taken from ekhi BEL.BEER.


    Classic problem in the use of beer and how they
elimination.

1. PROBLEM: The taste of beer is not there, we lost a sense of
                  lazhdeniya mug is transparent to light.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAILURE: A mug is empty.

   Solution: Find someone who will buy another mug

                       beer.
2. PROBLEM: The taste of beer is not there, we lost a sense of
                  lazhdeniya, shirt wet from the collar and 
below. 

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: Do not open your mouth or mug

                                    is brought is not there.

   Solution: It should work out the mirror.
3. SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAILURE: Incorrect position

                                    mugs.

   Solution: Set the cup so that the foam was

                       directed toward the ceiling.
4. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: Insufficient control of

                                    bladder function.

   Solution: Stand near the dog with a collar, through the

                       few minutes required to master

                       Animal compensation in the form of 
several 

                       kruzhechek beer.
5. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: You are looking at the floor through

                                    bottom of an empty cup.

   Solution: Find someone who will buy you another cup

                       beer.
6. SYMPTOM: Floor swaying.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAILURE: Unsustainable seat without

                                    back.

   Solution: Insert broom bristles under his jacket down

                       to provide additional support.
7. FAULT: Paul went.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: You are.

   Solution: If you are not in another pub,

                       Call for help. After, ask com
                       compensation in the form of a few beers.
8. FAULT: Lighting lamps - on the wall.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: You have fallen on its side.

   Solution: Ask someone to put you in

                       Rack and after strongly demand a

                       Several kruzhechek beer.
9. PROBLEM: I do not see a broken cigarette in his mouth.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: You have fallen on his stomach.

   Solution: See paragraph 8.
A. PROBLEM: Around rapidly darkens.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAILURE: a) Beer bar closes;

                                    b) You fall asleep with 
poluzak                                        rytymi eyes.


   Solution: a) check with others, where the nearest

                          a bar and ask include

                          you there;

                       b) To wake up and ask for a beer
B. FAULT: You wake up in cold, wet and gesture
                  Coy bed.

   PROBABLE CAUSE OF FAULT: You have fallen into the ditch.

   Solution: Ask for time at the passers-by - if beer

                       bar is open, go there, if not sleep

                       further.