Impulse #02 31 декабря 1997

Самиздат

Story - The story "The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" (Chapter 3.4).

 1992/12.


                       Tales :-)



    Perhaps the public and will not support me because the 
publication someone else's story, but I do so on moral grounds 
cut various Anecdotes, SHTIRLITS i.d.r.

If you have not read the first two chapters, the first issue 
you IMPULSE find them.



                         Chapter Three
In a rabbit just is not enough sv.Kondraty because Winnie

                      Pooh spoils him Modem


   Vinnie started his gloomy Mercedes and drove to Pooh
edge. He stopped where the road forks, thinking where to go. 
Finally he decided to head to Rabbit and natrepat his ears for 
that long did not give him documents about recycling leaves.


   About rabbit burrows was battered from all sides Zaporozhets 
with broken windshield. Vinny got out of the Mercedes, the 
doors automatically locked and bear critically looked at the 
car Rabbit. He poked his foot in the left wheel, Zaporozhets 
immediately settled on his side, and Winnie with a sigh, went 
to the hole better. 

   - Rabbit, are you home? - He asked the hole from which was 
rather weak, but familiar smell of rotten cabbage. 

   Rabbit did not answer.

   - Come on break'ay Chat faster - asked Pooh.

   Nora responded ominous silence. By the smell of rotten 
cabbage added the smell karvalola.


   Soon out of the hole seemed at first trembling rabbit ears, 
and then showed them to the owner - he decided, it is obvious 
that the answer Winnie the Pooh that he himself is not at home, 
at least inhumane. 


   - Hey, big-eared, - said Pooh welcome, in the sense that 
greeted the Rabbit. 

   - Pgivet, Pooh - Rabbit said, startled. - Come ...

   Pooh did not wait and quickly crawled into the hole.

   Rabbit burrows in the middle stood a ragged ES1840 with 
black and white monitor, but next to it stood a magnificent 
Zuhel, shimmering lamps and LCD-monitorchikom.


   From other conditions in the rabbit hole was a litter of 
straw, a barrel of rotten cabbage and a large buffet, which 
Winnie the Pooh fixed his gaze.


   - Want to sguffenki? - Rabbit asked hopefully.

   - No, thanks. Beer is better.

   - And no beer ... - Fearfully said Rabbit.

   - Well, bring it, - said Pooh, pushing him away.

When a rabbit out of sight, he calmly reloads ES'ku,
not even paying attention to the fact that the BBS rabbit care,
you do not accidentally drain the excess of which, dug a timid 
user. 

   Then Winnie the Pooh pulled out from Zuhelya ES'ki cord, wire
which were cleaned strong teeth Rabbit, and indifference
stuck the ends of the socket. Modem answer surprised squeak, 
and some outsiders rustling. Winnie the Pooh coughing from the 
smoke and pulled the cord. 

   After that, ES1840 again been included and Vinny noticed 
with satisfaction that the modem does not work. After that he, 
as if nothing had happened came to the counter and one rabbit 
after another devastated All banks with honey and condensed 
milk, and the thirty-two vials and a package karvalola 
buckwheat - but it is already in force. 


   Rabbit appeared with a bottle of beer.

   - And, thank you, - said Pooh, and the beer was sent after
package with groats. - Yes, - said Pooh lazy. - You have a BBS 
of something is not working - Bunny clutched his heart. - I 
called you - and I can not connect to ... - Explained Pooh, 
pouring on the nose rabbit what is left in a bottle from under 
karvalola. - Well, I went ... 

   Pooh did not vylzat of rabbit burrows in the usual way - 
through front door, and went out, carefully so as not to injure 
paws, knocking window. He remembered the last time and forty 
minutes he could not stir because eaten honey. 

   He got into the Mercedes and went about his business.

   Driving past the Oak Tree, Pooh frowned, picked up all the 
windows and much gazanul - Bee thought it disgusting lomatelem 
protections against unauthorized copying of honey, the offender 
Copyright'ov (meaning, as everyone knows, "Copy Right" or 
"copied correctly") and strongly disliked. 

   Winnie arrived at the house, on the door of which was 
written "Do Not Ent ...", which, as explained to all Piglet 
meant English translation of his clever name "Trespassers W." 
(Or, as I recall, Trespassers William). 

   He stopped the car and pulled the alarm.

   Immediately jumped out of the door Piglet with two balloons
- Blue and red, and happily hopped on one leg, in a sense
on one hoof.

   - Winnie, Winnie, - happily squealing pig - I'm glad
that you have come! And then the computer (Piglet always 
carefully pronounced the word) hanging the day before yesterday 
... ie, posture, the day before yesterday and what to do, just 
do not know ... A toy you've written? 

   - What kind of toy? - Asked tortured permanent 
dosazhdatelstvom piglet Winnie. 

   - Well, the one where the pig collects such pretty acorns ...

   - What other pig? - Winnie surprised. - I did not write
nothing ...

   - Sorry - did not get sad, "said Piglet. - I had already
all promise to extend (this word is always replaced Piglet
the word "merge", "reset" and other similar) ... and Sheba, and 
Kanga, and Rabbit ... And Christopher Robin. Yes, he came today 
to Eeyore. About you ask. 

   - Why ask? - Guard Pooh.

   - Oh - all garbage ... How are you, as a wife, children ... 
Oh, What am I doing? Ask, Do not Do the toy you give me some 
... In general, any such ... 

   - Okay, Piglet, right now, I'll put Digger Come and play now 
... 

   - Digger ... - Piglet whimpered. - I've played on it
Last week, three days in a row ... Even the chair fell - into, 
bump Nabil ... Come Arkanoid better. Or Prince. Of Persia.




                         Chapter Four

     In which Rabbit plans a sinister act of terrorism


   Kanga came to Rabbit to the challenge of warranty repairs 
Zuhelya. 

   - Modem is not working? - She asked gently. Roo, dear, look 
... 

   Roo took from his bag a screwdriver and hesitantly 
approached the damaged modem. 

   - From the outlet is off, - lovingly said Kanga. Roo
obediently pulled the wire from the outlet - plug sitting in it 
to be extremely tight - and said that it was. 

   - Yes, dear, - said Kanga gently. - And in this muck,
from this infection is also switched off ...

   Roux and pulled the cord from ES'ki.

   - Now take off the lid, - said Kanga. - Using a screwdriver, 
and not teeth! Teeth spoil! That took off already?


   Roux confirmed that the lid is lifted.

   - Well, - said Kanga, pulling from his bag a screwdriver
large-scale, but the same in appearance, which enjoyed Roux.

   - Let's see ... - Thoughtfully said Kanga, and from
Accident Zuhelya all sides climbed the wire and some
charred, similar to the charred bones.

   Rabbit hid in hysterics.

   - That's why it does not work! - Said happily Roo,
fiercely Sticking a screwdriver in the CPU.

   Rabbit fainted.

   When he came to himself, Kanga and Roo were engaged in what 
were trying to put the lid back on a tortured Zuhelya. 

   - Well, how? - Rabbit asked hoarsely.

   - Works! - Affectionately said Kanga.

   - About MNP, Rabbit, you'll never hear, - happily
said Roo. - Really, Mom, huh?

   - True, dear, - said Kanga. - Why Uncle Rabbit
MNP? He and so - there are ears!

   - When I grow up, I too would like that! said Roo.

   - No way! - Indignant Kanga. - And then you'll be the same
Nerds, Uncle Rabbit, and who you would love for it?

   Roo had to agree that for this one love
will not, and a happy family left the Rabbit hole, leaving her
owner of razvorochennogo Zuhelya, near which were lying 
indescribable amount of detail in the repair be unnecessary. 

   When the Rabbit came to his senses after the shock, he 
discovered that the MNP in its updated modem completely absent. 
Rabbit embittered the whole forest, and vowed to plan some 
terrorist act. 

   Late at night not far from Pooh Corner, where a sinister 
buzzing Forest Substation, there was a dark shadow trembling 
with long ears, and an ax.


   She, stole between dense plexus of barbed wire,
which high voltage approximately humming crept close to the 
misty windows glowing Winnie the Pooh and uncovered the head is 
old and ragged black coat. 

   Rabbit (and it was he) ominously gnashed his teeth and
looked out the window.

   There's Winnie the Pooh, lounging in a plush chair, lazily 
watching the pictures go BBS "Plusheviy Bear (4 lines)", and 
deciding what would be a healthy pour. 

   Rabbit again skrezhetnul teeth to Winnie the Pooh know who
he has to do, and looked around.

   Straight from the mansion of Winnie the Pooh led a thick 
cable service Mezhdulesnyh Telephone Linny.


   Rabbit skrezhetnul teeth one last time and swung the ax ...

   Winnie the Pooh, was going to merge the latest list of files 
with a "teddy Bear, press the button "D", but suddenly in the 
street there was a gnashing swept out sparks on the screen 
zameltishil multicolored rubbish, stop talking on the phone 
with Kanga at the delivery of the new modem, security alarm 
screamed, and Winnie Pooh had time to see how a tremendous 
speed through a barbed wire leaped with cries someone's 
scorched figure. 

   - @ # $! - Winnie the Pooh said, violently throwing up on 
the floor. If would talk to Kanga not ceased, it would probably 
have deaf and it has faded to the ears.


   Winnie took off from the wall, gun, which he waved to the 
modem Lexand of Piglet (which is what was not needed), loaded 
both stem residues eaten yesterday cake and other rubbish and 
left on the street.


   The first salvo, he gave up in the air.

   To his surprise, nobody yelled "Do not shoot" or
"I give up."

   Winnie the shot without looking away, and got, somehow, in 
Eeyore. 

   The donkey was screaming and threw all four hooves at once 
and quickly convince ... in smylse, flew at a speed of a jet 
bomber. 

   - Eeyore - it's no accident - said Winnie the Pooh aloud, 
and went home.


   In the morning he sat in his Mercedes and drove to swear at 
Kanga - for what has not worked burglar alarms, and the Savoy - 
for that the wires (strings / ropes) were not very strong.


   Kanga has responded to the statement of Pooh is very 
indifferent. 

- That's cute Roux returns to tennis - she said. - And all of 
immediately repaired. You know, Pooh, my En ... 

   Next Pooh was not listening.

   In the car, he pulled out of packs smoked goby, lit it
and felt great nasladzhenie.On stepped on the gas and went to 
the Sava. 

   - Hi, Sawa, - he said from the doorway.

   SAVA was sitting behind a desk with a 386-m Compaq'om and 
hard thought, where on the keyboard, "Y", although the key "Y" 
s was not necessary.


   - Hello, Mr. Winnie the Pooh - SAVA said diplomatically.

   - Hello, old coat - said Winnie the Pooh. I hope you three
times per minute hangs. I have a phone all-If ye will not work 
... 

- All forty six lines? - Asked SAVA.

   - All forty-six, - confirmed the Pooh, sitting in a spacious
chair and pulling up to his ashtray.

   - A paid for them? - Politely asked SAVA.

   - Paid, paid, - assured her Winnie the Pooh. He never
neplatil Sava anything and everything because the Forest brand 
SAVA assume did not know how, and Winnie the Pooh is to blame 
was not. - Phone is not because does not work, you fool some 
sort, that there neuplacheno. There pererublenny wire. Beast 
some hatchet porazvleklas ... 

   - Skatin - SAVA painstakingly typed on the keyboard. - Well
well, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, I'll send it out there will 
understand ... 

   - That forty minutes all was ready, -

   said Pooh.