Nicron #69 30 декабря 1997

Юмор

Humor - Hovaya play Little Red Riding Hood.

        New Little Red Riding Hood

              esaF0

(C), Mikhail Tikhonov
Moscow
School 91, 6 "B" class.
Song: (C) Alexei Kravtsov.
Illustrations: (C) Soop (Alex Antipov)


            Actions face

The author is owner of the park
Wolf Woodcutter 1
Little Red Riding Hood 1 Lumberjack 2
Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother 2
Little Red Riding Hood 3 queues for tickets
Little Red Riding Hood 4



            Price 1



    Wolf sits alone on stage in a red hat. Reasons:

Q: I am loser. Here you ate Little Red Riding Hood, right? And 
you of her belly take out unscathed. Bon Appetit! Stupid

I have a role ... Cleft element - what? Chase and surveillance, 
battle and sacrifice, victory and triumph of a predator. And 
what of my entire life! Girls! Yabednitsami ... Attendants, 
hypocrite, stupid longhorn ... And not the forest it does, and 
park! 

(It turns out the author).

Author: Yes, the wolf must live in the woods! And the people of 
the forest are cut down, the city from all sides comes from the 
forest parks were left alone. But there from people not going 
anywhere - beast no place on earth. Soon there will be no 
predators or herbivores. Will remain a director this park - 
that's who the real predator! Gave a ride of horrors "Little 
Red Riding Hood." Wolf hired to work in their specialty. Wolf. 
And to what to do - or die of hunger, or go to service. Girls 
on the ride just bring down the shaft. Ticket - 10 rubles. New! 
And who thought, how many girls in one day the wolf able to 
swallow and spit it back? He already gastroduodenitis and 
(lowering his voice) he's afraid that soon will be a stomach 
ulcer! 

            price 2

           There is a girl.

Vladimir (affectionately feigned): What, to my grandmother?
Girl (in silence, holding a wolf umbrella): Hold!
V. (a loss, taking): I am a gray wolf ... Well, go here ... 
I'll show you my teeth ... D. (rummages in her purse, pulls out 
the toothpaste and toothbrush): I'm going to grandmother, and 
you brush your teeth. I love scary movies, but it seems that 
you have violated the acid-alkaline balance. B. (scary voice): 
Here's something nechischennymi these teeth, so these something 
terrible claws, and I'll break through, stupid girl! AD: You're 
boring! Unprofessional working. A fairy tale read something? 
(Out): King Kong shabby! V. (after): But she had read? From 
pies to come right! (Wolf is one).

Q: Have you seen? I have it serviced! She bought me a ticket!
No respect, at least for my age. Actually, I have long noticed 
how every year the girls are getting worse and worse. 
Previously, they were round, rosy and well-bred. A present-day 
- sharp knees and elbows sharp blades sticking out! Last week

- Unable to get out - swallowing such as, by God, I thought
that swallowed a bicycle. Incidentally, I noticed that the girl
well fed, so she brought up. (Adjusts red hat). Here,
gift.

  Why do not I draw these thoughts in the article "Wolf about 
parenting? (Reflections of a wolf interrupts the appearance of 
the other girls). 

            Price 3

Girl: You're a rock? Fox terrier?
B. (choking with anger): I have the gray wolf! Forest 
carnivore! Wild medic! D. (backing): Nurse? I have not got 
there! Q: be too familiar with the wolf? Filed a ticket!

D. (giving a ticket): I am not here ...
B. (ominously): Not all the girls take out of my belly! You 
cheated. Those who made me angry, I forget to spit! AD: I'm 
sorry ... (Runs away in fear). V. (after): A pastry? .. Lord, 
the service damn! All day Fasting ... Cold! Br-r ... Where are 
you, sweet palate life? Where you sun-warmed meadow smelling 
strawberries? Hillocks with soft grass? Secluded hollow, where 
you can escape from Wind? Where are you, a hollow huge oaks, 
beneath which the artist Dora painted my meeting with the Red 
Riding Hood? And, most importantly, where you forest tree 
stumps, which are hidden behind white rabbits diet? 

            Price 4

    Little Red Riding Hood appears with a basket of pies.

Vladimir (affectionately): Hello, girl! What have you got, 
cakes to grandmother?

A. (laughs): Yes.
Q: Pies must be able to cook. Especially when your loved one is 
ill. It is necessary to stir the batter with no lumps. You're 
good stirred?

AD: I tried. We were taught in school bake cakes.
Q: And you were taught in school that the pies should be 
putting the cleanest butter, rather than any margarine?

DA: None.
B. (yelling in the hearts of): I knew it!
D.: But I still do not go put margarine and butter.
Q: I see you are generous, kind girl. And I have not thrown
all the wolf. I may be more painful than any grandmother's, but 
no one is my pies. I am an orphan, alone in the whole wide 
world ... AD: I heard the wolves themselves take out food.

Q: Is there creatures I find disgusting!
D. (rassochuvstvovavshis): Here, take it, smoke.
B. (missing the entire basket and pushes the girl to the door): 
All everything! Thank you!

Wolf (one, munching a pie): How can I put in salted pies
mushrooms? This is ridiculous. The fungus must be eaten at the 
place where found. Salt also harms the body. How can I put in 
the cakes for the elderly man so much salt! Not really, they 
are attentive to his grandmother! A real family is strong 
respect for elders. I could formalize these ideas in the book 
"The benefits of the family and the dangers of salt." 

            price 5

Author: So quietly last summer, autumn, winter has come.
(Appears real granddaughter this grandmother).
Girl: I live here, and in the woods - my grandmother's house.
B. (surprised): You bought a ticket?
AD: What ticket?
Q: So you're a real granddaughter? This grandma?
AD: Yes.
Q: Help me!
DA: What happened to you?
Q: On the way to tell.
(Out).

            price 6

        At the scene two Lumberjack.

Et al.1: You're at the office called?
Dr.2: Well.
1: What is "well"? Wolf ordered, and the car will be given?
2: None. Said that on their own.
1: His speed let them chase the cats on the roofs. A wolf in us
the forest to catch. Bullshit.
(Appears owner of the park).
GH: Where's the wolf?
1 (selected): We scour the squares A1, 2,3, B1, 2,3, B1, 2,3.
(Pokes in the map).
H.: Stop drooling chewing. Where wolf?
1: put traps everywhere, dug a trap.
GH: It's your problem. Where wolf?
1 and 2: He is not. Disappeared.
GH: I have a direct loss - fifteen per hour. If the evening 
does not will be a wolf, I put you on the counter. I'll order 
yourself, parasites. (Exits). 2: Let's run away?

1: Good sculpt hunchback! You know what his roof? Come on,
then there is the house of one of her aunt.



            price 7

    Wolf sits at tea. Granddaughter decorate a Christmas tree.

Q: I'm here alone did not leave. Without me they would not be 
income. Grandmother: We'll help you. My eldest grandson - the 
gamekeeper in the reserve. Live with it. (A knock at the door).

BS: Who's there?
Lumberjack: Open! We are looking for a wolf.
BS: Maybe you do worse than wolves? I'm home alone with her 
granddaughter, outsiders are not kept out. Et al.: We break 
down the door! (Begin to break down the door).

AB: What to do? (Wolf): Get dressed! (Throws him a suit of 
Santa Claus). (Break into lumberjacks).

Et al.: Why not open? Hiding here a wolf?
AB: Do not open because the house just so the old fellow. I, my
granddaughter of the old Santa Claus. A wolf in the woods 
looking for! (Woodman notice "Santa Claus").

Et al. 2: Father and grandfather, why you have such long ears?
Q: In order to better hear from you, my grandson!
Et al. 1: grandfather, grandfather, why is your face is gray, 
and his nose was black? Q: At the North Pole froze.

Et al. 1 and 2: But where is thy Maiden?
Q: The wolf ate! He ran over there. (Shows).
Et al. 1: What are you silent, old stump?
(Run).



(Curtain).

Author: Wolf now lives in the reserve. His dream came true, and
On the New Year. Maybe your dream will come true? If it
good, of course ...


    Snow soon ceases,
        and the wolf pack
            well-fed and seem quite satisfied -
    if something
        they lack
            pharyngeal their raises to the moon ...

    And human,
        enemy of their two-legged,
             knife and gun throwing a pine tree,
    often in the evening
        and under the moon
              sits on all fours in the snow ...

    He jokes with us
        night times;
            our sky - White Ceiling ...
    Song of the howling is similar,
        We desperately
            chorus pipes, like a pack of wolves ...

                onets