Nicron #56 02 октября 1997

Самиздат

Humor - Proverbs about computer inhabitants.

I0


    ° °

                  Parable of the computer inhabitants.

    ° °



(R) MDF HACKER.


            Parable of the computer inhabitants. (Golubev)

              "Preface"

              Dear Reader!


Universal computerization of native spaces and domestic vesey
led to an unprecedented upliftment of the Soviet people -
eternal builder brighter future. Now, after the overthrow of
neofeodalizma bogey, the whole country with joy and 
unprecedented enthusiastic peers into oncoming paralysis World

economy. "They do not feed us!" - Happily vosklikayut
pessimists. And this, comrades, is correct. On this fertile
soil full flower blossom world representatives
kitsch-Mitki-wing pro-Western orientation.

Do not miss! Pay attention to the depth of expression,
which permeated these plain, at first glance,
stories! How much light in them and the inner beauty! A favorite
saying mate 'command coma, one of the main characters
cycle: "Duc, shell cheap!". What a mastery of the
native speech, what an amazing degree of organic merger
folklore, fairy places, from the purely technical information.

That is why the editorial welcomes the emergence of a new genre
domestic fiction, and wishing to pass for a circle of 
connoisseurs such (sometimes called, in English, although it is 
not entirely true) humor, offers its pages to the product of 
"The Parable of the Computer residents. "


At the same time, aware that masterpieces are rare, please do 
not send us a cheap knockoff. In addition, since our magazine

devoted to computer topics, the parable of the cave, rural,
taiga and other residents also will not be accepted!

               *

When Digger broke both his legs, he began to move on
wheels.

               *

Recovered Comrade Command Com - Digger said, considering the
a passing comrade coma. - At 2.7 pounds - defined
Norton Commander. - So what song we will sing today,
Norton? - Asked Digger. - Duc - Norton said the commander, -
Yankee Doodle.

               *

Comrade Command Com lived on the system floppy disk and kept a 
disorderly life, why, and he suffered. Bitten, he went to the 
doctor Aidstetstu. Planted a doctor friend Aidstest coma in a 
high chair, took him by the jaw: - And now - he says -

Say: "Format ah-ah-ah-ah:".

               *

Do you think that Norton, who we'll be in my next life? - So
asked Digger Norton Commander. - Duc, - said the commander
Norton, pressing Control-Alt-Del ...

               *

Do not you remember you first version of DOS, comrade whom? - 
Ask Digger comrade 'command of Com. - No, - he cried, - from her

the song remains - and sang: "operating system, DOS, Ver. Doce, 
and his grandmother healthy ... "


               *

Sit as a Digger, Norton Commander and comrade Command Com, and
going by his father Vyndouz. "Sit down, - he says. - Well, 
well. Soon all 'll sit beneath me. "No one so he did not reply.

One comrade Command Com spat and cursed dirty. "Come in,
Advance, - said - the shell is cheap. "

               *

Once asked fellow Digger 'command coma: "Why did you
Comrade Command Combe, the father Vyndouza do not like? "." 
Mice from He stinks, he answered quickly, but, on reflection, 
added, - from shell from the cheap ".


               *

"Gentlemen, - said the commander of the Norton Commando and 
fellow Digger Who - yesterday was a great Russification. 
Ordered all give Russian names. "They began to think. Well, the 
commander Norton immediately called Lieutenant North, so Digger 
Digger and left. And here is someone whom no Russian Commando 
name is not liked it. Like it was Ivan Komovi call, yes

He was angry: "Shells - screams - cheap! mice kindled!".

               *

Where money matters? - Snapped komndir Norton diggers. - Duc,
ate ...

               *

All day, Comrade Command Com went enlightened. A met
sad father Vyndouza even asked sympathetically: - Or
happened, sir? - All the icons were stolen, - the father said
Vyndouz and wept. - Oh, they are heathen, - happily sympathetic
Comrade Command Com, - Oh, they shell cheap! And his mustache 
fun stir.


               *

Only met Digger, Comrade Command and commander of Combe Norton
Pivtsov drink, like a window to his knock. - There isn't enouth
room! - Shouted the commander Norton saw in the window hateful
cockle father Vyndouza.

               *

(From the biography of the great traveler's companion 'command
Coma) I went as a companion Command Com in Africa, and there it
bitten by a fly format Tse-Tse.

               *

It is true that Ventura had given herself to his father 
Vyndouzu? - Asked the commander Norton Comrade 'command of Com. 
- Duc, - he answered - Publisher Publisher and it is.


               *

From the life of silicon addicts. - Bad, Norton? - Tusknyak,
Comrade Command Com. - Come to the diggers. He even wheel
there.

               *

Went as a Gold Digger to steal, but fell asleep.

               *

When the commander of Norton left alone, he fell ill star
disease. ?



Translated to ZX - (r) MDF.