Nicron #45 31 июля 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

(R) DEL


 The son asks his father: - Dad, why are all my friends already
 fifth grade, and I'm still in first so the first? - Do not 
Listen  you're it! Drink!



 Grandma comes to the clinic, to meet her man in a white
 robe. - Honey, you do not know glaznyuk work? - No, already
 five hours. - A ushnyuk work? - No, already had gone home. - A
 Who are you? - I'm a gynecologist, but according to you, 
Grandma,  pizdyuk!



 There are two Georgian. - Hello! Let's drink! - What are we 
going  drink? - And what do we have? - Why, "Rkatsiteli.

 - Rkatsiteli "? Hooray! Drink three days, it is worth a 
mountain of bottles.  Prochuhivayutsya. - What's budei drink? - 
Yes, there,  "Tsinandali. - Tsinandali "? Hooray! Again, drink 
for three days.  Prochuhivayutsya. - In what today we drink? - 
Yes, there is nothing  more. - And over in the corner are the 
full bottles. - Yes it is, we  Nassau. - Mynassali "? Hurrah!



 A little girl left alone at home and strictly
 cautioned not to unscrew the nut on the floor. It does not
 obeyed and unscrew. Hear - for ladder steps ...
 such severe, terrible ... knock at the door ... loud so ...
 She opens the door - on the verge of a terrible kind of person 
with  such a terrible, terrible person: - You unscrew the nut? -

 D-d-da ... - Well, you fool! And I have a chandelier fell!


 Winter, night, cold troleybys, heat ykytannaya devchyshka
 years 3-4, and her mother, for 18-20 years older. Devchyshke 
not  ydobno not yyutno. - Mom, when summer nastypit, we again

 Some dresses run bydem? - Hy until the summer yet dozhti
 must ... Several podymav devchyshka says: - Maybe
 still live to see ...


 There are two Georgians: - Can you imagine, Gogi, I'm a girl
 saved from being raped! - It can not be Givi! How did
 you do that? - Well, in general, I persuaded her:)


 ... Two are standing in line for pivom.Odin says: - That
 Paris life, he came here at the station, greeted with a huge
 a bouquet of flowers, put in a luxury car, driven in
 chic otel.Prinimaesh bath, and lead to restoran.Esh
 drink-all besplatno.Vozvraschaeshsya Room, bed already
 gotova.Udovolstvie get - top class! And another five hundred
 Franks give. - Have you been there? - Do not be. - And how do 
you know?  - My wife was.



 U.S. paratrooper officer trains new recruits: - Remember, the
 Russian also has an air desant.Odin their paratrooper
 cope with three such as vy.Uchtite they have and Marine
 desant.Odin cope with five like vy.I hack to death his
 on the nose: the Russian is a construction battalion, so there 
is generally  animals, they do not give even a weapon.



 The guy had fun at the glory, came home one day and he
 exam. Naturally neither learn, nor even read it
 did not have time, so much so that his head gudezh. Then he
 inner voice insistently advises: "Learn the fifth ticket
 Learn the fifth ticket. "We, the guy happy, learns the fifth
 ticket and went to bed. and the next day comes to
 exam, takes a ticket, look, and a ticket trinadtsatyy.Vnutrenny
 voice: "Hmm ... strange ..."