Nicron #45 31 июля 1997

Юмор

Humor - First of all. The army statement.

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                       First thing
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(R) MDF HACKER


The first thing we spoil aircraft
Well, girls?
And the girls then!

1. "And if a soldier had killed someone, then his side
be criminalized or severely reprimanded "." FPU.
Uryupin.

2. London Bombing: "First V-1 flew, then V-2 ...".
FPU. Myznikov.

3.Using cavalry against tanks: "In winter, the men dressed in
camouflage cloak, the horses are dressed in a camouflage cloak. 
At the command of 'lie' horse lies in the snow. Drives up the 
tank. A soldier throws a bottle incendiary. Tank lit. A soldier 
pulls out his sword. In this moment of the hatch there is first 
a head ... bang! ... And the head thrust. And so a few times 
... "FPU. Myznikov. 

4. "Arctic fleet." FPU. Myznikov.

5. "And then it turns out that my brother got married a long 
time." m.Titov. 

6. "To you I will build it once and for all!" m.Titov.

7. "Aviation has been prepared for combat." FPU. Myznikov.

8. "(Aircraft) Srul, prorulil, taxied and got here."
RAP Myznikov.

9. "Creep crew." kn. Egorov.

10. (In Siberia) Ski wear out as bedroom slippers. "
FPU. Myznikov.

11. 03/05/1993 FPU. Myznikov all the couple gave a lecture on a 
piece of paper and NOTHING sporol.


12. "Air crew had one aircraft, on which
flew. "FPU. Myznikov.

13. "Wait, I'm very confused." FPU. Myznikov.

14. "Solid and ongoing management of ...
- What?
- Airplane! "FPU. Myznikov.

15. "If you're late, I'll put you in
unseemly position for you. "m.Titov.

16. "District independent search - the band, which has at least
four boundaries. "FPU. Myznikov.

7. Tasks Defense: ... fight with troops on the route of flight,
destruction of attack helicopters, operating from
ambush. "

18. "Armor consists of parts and units."

19. "To increase the firepower of modern tanks equipped
spetspechkami on alcohol ... "17-19 A clever book.

20. "You can not write a check 'Har-ki' and 'Holy Island'! What 
if for me it sees some oak? He is nothing at all

understand! "st.lt. Dzhanumyan.

21. "I'll make you massshtabirovat." st.lt. Dzhanumyan.

22. "On the mountain slopes with an inclination of 60 degrees 
can climb Only trained soldiers with special equipment, and 
mountain goats. "FPU. slave.


23. "As future officers you need to know - when the plane 
crashes it is usually broken down. "


24. "The solid angle - 360 degrees. It's clear."

25. -How will zahodt aircraft bombed the runway, along or across
Stripes?
- Along
- No!
- Across
- No, diagonally!

26. "You understand that by law any Pascal equal force in
different directions. "

27. "The plane bombed a ship, dive steeply. After 30 seconds
the ship is sinking, and the aircraft hardly dodging the 
ground. " 

28. "The plane dropped a bomb, you think everyone forgot about 
him and look at the bomb? No, it is here that it and would 
knock down! " 

29. "There is a bomber over Keniksbergom.'s Go bomb
FAB-9000 (9 tons). All flee, because they see that
flying bomb. "

30. Formula - such a pig! "

31. "When you face a nuclear explosion to go where?"

32. "As protivozenitnogo maneuver used by snake
do you - Sine Wave. "

33. "There are rockets, meaning they unmanaged, but
managed, and they are here so fly. "PDP 24-33. Myznikov
03/26/1993.

34. "Those who heard the sound of a flying projectile at him, 
well, those who can then tell about it ... "


35. "And do not go, do not go, and can not operate." FPU.
Myznikov.

36. "You have seen on television or, more precisely on TV ..." 
FPU. Myznikov.


37. Human settlements: cities, towns, villages and other
objects, not intended for human habitation ... "

38. Roll call:
- Ivanov
- Here
- Sit
- Petrov
- Here
- Sit
- Sidorov
- None
- Sit
st.lt. Dzhanumyan.

39. An explanatory memorandum (verbatim):

                   Battalion Commander
                   pdpk Myznikova from
                   student company
                   Dmitry Ignatov
                   Mikhailovich

                I, the student

March 29 Colonel Myznikova remark was made for
what I left side of his head hit the booth 'Manual
bazooka RPG-7V (-7D) (accidentally). Because
shock I forgot to go to Lt. Col. Myznikova. And today
the presence of students, Lt. Col. Myznikov said
punish my supervisor pp Slave. The warning that I
realized his mistake, writing this explanatory memorandum. C
Sincerely, a student Ignatov DM

Added: Henceforth, this will not happen again, I shall continue 
to very attentive and rachitelen in maintaining our benefits

Military kafedre.Pod edited FPU. Slave.

40. "Moscow - the Moscow Ring Road Aero." FPU.
Myznikov.

41. "Eat a watermelon - these skins are ..."

42. "They say you go into the army - beat off the kidneys, and 
may you who otobesh. "FPU. slave.


43. "Reserve officers - zero out of phase in combatant issues." 
m.Titov 

44. "I was not born thereby, in uniform," m.Titov

45. "Thinking will be on lessons in higher mathematics, or at 
home, and here think not. "FPU. Pankevich.


46. "If the declination of the north we should add, if the 
south should add. "Captain Egorov.


47. "Get up must dramatically, and you stand up like a woman 
after the tenth stick. "


48. "Planes taking off from an aircraft carrier as a pancake 
from the frying pan." 

49. "Remember what I taught you: just a hungry student
can reach the heights in science. "

50. "Where we are talking about Hannibal and other Macedonian 
..." 

51. "And your ancestors such as I ..."

52. "Yes, people are to blame, but the people - students,
because the intellectuals! That's who in the king bobmy metal? "

53. "He chew, swallow and even teach."

54. "From simple to empty."

55. "You understand that we must be very well
drunk-trained to attack on bomber
istribitel. "

56. - The main form of military transport aircraft? -
Transportation? - No special military flight!

57. "Well, vybrasysyvayut there, well, goods not barrels, of 
course, but container! "


58. "The first landings dropped straight from the wings. Flying 
holding a special ring, at the command 'go' let go, one

tumbled down to the plane is not heeled, and then wallow
everything. Here you are now on the wing - just start screaming 
that excellent students that it's not necessary! Or from 
bobmolyuka, well then clear - doors open - not going anywhere! "


59. "We are lazy ... some ... apparently ... the students ..."

60. "Leading the way - the scouts are operational. And if they 
do not go there make, will be the second Susanin only aircraft 
... " 

61. "Army aviation is for!"

62. - You, a student, what is your name?
- Huh? Is it me?
- I! That is you!

63. "If you do not take the book, I'll tell you again that I
you do! "

64. "As you are no student admitted? Just today a
The fight was! Student, all of this myself, unshaven, like a 
wild boar puffed, trying to break through. But no, this boy,

black-eyed, with his grandfather - the Stalinist falcon tied 
him! " 

65. - Did you bring the book? - At home I have, but I'm not
pinned. - Pinned! It is against the wall out student pinned 
student You know, this is spring!


66. "What does not converge with what I had said? Same
Tactics - Science flexible! "

67. Buran - the "Six engines installed. There are two here
two, here are two (points) - well, where the same eight? So he
flies! "

68. "Yes!" Everything in the control, both at the customs 
checkpoint! " 

69. "Fighting the characteristics of our aircraft: the ability 
to ... refuel in the air, the truth is a characteristic of

U.S. aircraft, but nevertheless! "49-69 RAP. Myznikov
was on a roll 16/04/1993.

70. "I came today to the department: All springs pulled all
stripped ... Who, the Martians came? No - the students! "
FPU. Myznikov.

71. "Students came running:" We undressed! "Man - section!
A man should undress when needed! "FPU. Myznikov.

72. (Features helicopters) Well, you do not need engines,
you do not dvigatelisty ... Weight is not needed, you did not 
wear ... " FPU. Myznikov.


73. "This soil, as expressed in the plant community,
otdernovanny, turf-covered. "FPU. Myznikov.

74. "Armored evacuation ... aa .. oatsionnaya machine ..." FPU.
Myznikov.

75. "Hint understood, but it flew like a flock of files." (Joke)

76. "Now someone illustrative punish!" m.Titov.

77. "BMPs are moving from their offices, using the folds
terrain, jumps from cover to cover. "book" Preparing
Army Reserve Officers' str116.

78. "Roth destroy the enemy into strongholds, and charging
possession of them. "p. 98.

79. Myznikov about long hair: "... And it was a joke,
student in classes led ... And it did not understand ... "

80. "Veikie something ... Franz Liszt ...? Franz Liszt!" I went 
to the tail. Wow it was something different from the others. "


81. "The lever must be at least two arms." FPU. Myznikov.

82. "What do you like chickens were delivered to the perch?" 
FPU. Myznikov. 

83. "The pilot begins to pilot the plane with one hand while 
the other remembers that his wife and children ... "FPU. 
Myznikov. 

84. "You put on the statute's me!" FPU. Myznikov 'm.Titov.

85. "The command 'dress' you have to trim, as the
My ctarshina: Align socks sex gap ", well, sex with us
was made of boards. "

86. "Darkness is afraid of it: In his airplane with a 
parachute, and will fear, as if he opened up! "FPU. Myznikov.


87. - Your name?
- Dark
- A should be - bright!

  FPU. Myznikov.

88. "What have been the oldest profession? Such-and-such,
eg - scouts. "FPU. Myznikov.

89. "Where next plane crashes? On earth!" FPU. Myznikov.

90. "If you use a crib on a regular exam, a
still nothing. And if the secret, you will be three times worse
if you get caught, because the cribs on classified subjects
can make from the audience. "pdp.Rabsky.



(C) WHALE