Nicron #41 03 июля 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

(R) DEL



   Our physics teacher in 7 th grade: - We live on

   one side of the earth and see one side of the moon, and

   Americans live on the other side of the earth and see a 
different 

   side of the moon.


   Approaching an intersection on his Peugeot, Bridget

   misses the green light, then red again

   green and red again. Approach it and the police

   gallantly inquired: - "Mademoiselle prefers

   some other color?


   Teresa crashes into a stopped car in front of her.

   Jumping out of his Jaguar, she angrily shouted: - Yes

   it's all happening? Be careful! C

   the morning is already the fifth car in which I crashed ...


   On the road racing brand new car. One hand on Dominica

   handlebars, the other gently hugs the shoulders of a pretty 
passenger. 

   Traffic policeman stops the car and make comments. -

   Why are you not using two hands, like all

   others? - You are right, the inspector, so, of course, is 
better 

   but how am I going to drive?


   A couple in a cafe at a table. Around a table waiter.

   A couple on it - zero attention. He: you're so appetizing,

   I'd just take you and eat ... She: I love you. Waiter: A

   drink what you want?


   Over the ocean in distress aircraft. The pilot is

   styuardesu explains her situation and asks her to finally

   pacify them. Styuardesa enters the salon and

   announces:-Lord passengers, do not worry. Our plane

   pilot. Now he dives into the ocean, will fly under the

   water, and then emerges and flies farther. Two odessite

   swim in the ocean on their suitcases. One says to another:

   -Jora, I do not understand this boast - all went flying, and 
we 

   remained.


   Are two crocodiles on the banks of the Nile. One says: - 
"Well, ... 

   and in the Volga River some water cleaner. The second 
replies: - Yes, 

   Comrade Major. Cleaner water, cleaner.


   Mueller asked Shtirlitsa - is it true that the radio 
operator Kat 

   let him testify? - "Display, but gave no" - dry

   Stirlitz said.


   Jose Ignacio is on the road. Dark Night. Suddenly falls, and

   cries - Ah-ah-ah-ah ... Maria runs - what's wrong Jose

   Ignacio and why are you yelling? - If not for my big mouth

   I would have broke my nose!


   Myzhik c woman drove to the lake, otdohnyt, razvlechcya. Case

   to vechery. Lozhatcya. Vdryg thunder, ringing sound can 
revyschego 

   motorcycle; someone comes to the tent, hryac her with a 
knife, 

   looks and cprashivaet: - Clysh, myzhik, y you gum

   No? Zonked myzhik: - HNet!? - Hy I'm sorry. Cnova sound can

   Motorcycle and vce ctihlo. Ctrashno pygayac myzhik finally

   sewed palatky and finally arrived cobralcya properly

   otdohnyt as cnova thunder, ringing, pick the motorcycle 
approaches 

   chyvak c else be the default The Parties to the tent and 
hryac her with a knife, is 

   and says:-Keep ...